Should people settle for less than their expectations in dating?

[Adam_INTJ]

It's often that you'll hear people say to "never settle" when it comes to dating. People also criticize others for being too picky--like telling a friend that they're pushing away great people over a long checklist of qualifications.

So my question to you is: what should we do? should we settle for someone who doesn't meet our original expectation for a boyfriend/girfriend/spouse, or should we wait it out and hope for that special someone that we've always imagined to come along?

Just as some thoughts:

Merits to settling include: making it easier to get into a nice relationship. Giving an ordinarily overlooked persona a chance, and breaking the trend of leaving "average" people alone and dsingle, in favor of clamoring after the people that everyone else already likes.

Merits to never settling include preventing a relationship with a dissatisfying partner, avoiding regrets in your relationship, and being absolutely certain that your choice of partner was the best.

So what do you think?

Also, listen to Bo Burnham's song about it when you get the chance. You'll laugh. It's called "Lower Your Expectations."

People should be willing to settle for less in dating.

People should never settle. They should wait for someone who meets all their expectations.

[AviatorTom]

If you wait for someone who meets all your standards, you'll probably never find that person. Life is full of compromises, and relationships (dating, living together, marriage) require it.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for the mho

[Adam_INTJ]

Thanks for the comment. I don't know about the waiting forever bit though--some people have pretty easy-to-meet standards, like having a job and being a nice person. You have a good point about compromise.

[slatyb]

There are superficial things you can compromise on, like physical beauty, and things you can't, like honesty, consideration for others, general adulting.

[RosieMelts]

Dating - never fucking settle

sex- sure why not lmfao (except don’t settle with someone with stds etc.)

If you can’t find someone to understand you then understand it’s okay to go alone.

love people in general be a help to society ofc

but never settle for a soul mate who got no soul lmao

Sex? Everyone’s got genitals so do a eenie meenie miney moe or flip a coin 💁‍♀️

[Berethor]

It's about balance, someone who is not willing to settle on anything is likely to stay alone, especially as he gets older, especially if that someone is a female. There are some thing that I am not willing to settle about, like female slutiness, so I am not going to say that it easy to settle.

[Anonymous]

Depends on a lot of things. Some people have high expectations but they’re not ready to put in the effort to get what they want. Other times, settling can be necessary to make things work. I personally would settle for someone who only 75-80% meets the criteria of my “perfect partner” - contingent on whether or not they are willing to keep working on themself to be an overall better person.

[NathanDavis]

personally, I never settle... I want beyond awesome, and never went from less than that... lol, but that's me...

for others I would tell them instead... don't go with people that are toxic AF, don't fall for that trap, lol

[TacosRAwesome]

It depends, if their standards are doesn't look like shit and treats me well then it's a no. If their standards are a long list of items then they should be happy with someone that hits 70 or 80 % of them.

[TroyDT]

No, but people should be more realistic in their standards. Like a certain heavy-set lazy guy I know who works a low-paying job and then laments that rich super model-level women won't date him.

[maximumpower]

Give a little, get a little.
VERY rarely will you be able to find the perfect fit.
Figure out what is 100% required and stick to that.
Other qualities are options - nothing more.

[Guy13]

Yep as inflated self and 🤳 reigns.