Search Results: getting her to see me as more than a friend

I don’t think he does based off something that happened today, but I definitely have strong feelings for him.

This is a long story so buckle in.

I’ve been friends with this guy who’s almost 10 years older than me since I was 19. He went to back to college, and that’s how we met. We’ve always just been friends and never crossed any lines with each other and are part of the same group. He graduated 3 years ago and moved back to our hometown (turned out we’re from the same city), but we’ve stayed in touch and I see him almost every time I visit.

Last year we were hanging out and the topic eventually went to dating (not each other just in general). I described my perfect guy and he said something like, “oh like how we do?” And that’s the moment the light bulb clicked in my head. Ever since then I’ve been developing feelings for him. I felt like he wasn’t returning my feelings, so I backed off to try and readjust my emotions.

A couple months ago, he called me out the blue and we’ve been texting/calling/watching shows through zoom together practically every day the last few weeks. My feelings for him are back and are definitely getting stronger. I’m not sure how he feels. It’s like he’s hot and he’s cold, he’s definitely sending mixed signals. He’s asked me what my plans for grad school are, wanted to know if I’d move out of state to go to the same school as him, stays on the phone with me while I share my location while in traffic, etc. In a show we watched recently, they were talking about date ideas and he kept telling me he wanted to take me to those places, so I started to feel like he might feel the same as me. Today I finally had enough of wondering and texted him that I’m wanting his attention more and more, and he deflected it and made a joke.

When we met 8 years ago, I was just a kid and he was pushing 30. I’m worried he still thinks of me as a kid and doesn’t see me as the woman I’ve grown into.

Is he just a good friend? Does he want more? What do I do?

They are very very close. They known each other for like 7 years since they were kids. The fact that they known each other for a long time is the only thing keeping me at ease because wouldn't something have happened by now? But at the same time, there has been so many stories of best friends falling in love with each other so I am super paranoid.

I noticed they seems to be getting more and more close recently. They cuddle together and casually hold hands a lot. Like they were even holding hands the entire time during a photoshoot. Then, I saw a video of her sitting on his lap with his arms around her waist. It wasn't like they were keeping it a secret though so I just ignored it thinking it's fine because they were just playing a game with the chair. They are each other favorite person - I told myself that it's okay if he doesn't see me as his favorite person because he knew her wayyyy longer. They even see each other as backup husband/wife.

I feel like the only difference is that we have sex and kiss but they obviously don't. We been dating for more than a year now but I need to know if this is normal and I am not wasting my time. Like should I be worried about his relationship with his girl best friend or is it normal between two friends?

Well, I do admit bold guys are attractive my future boyfriend better be polite or I do dump him.

Am I sure I would never be attracted to a rude uncultured swine? 100% positive.

I had two bad boys liking me before and honestly I wanted nothing more than slamming one with a hammer for his lack of manners and slap the second one for embarrassing me in public with his untimely confessions (times in front of the teacher when I would clench fists to stop my hand from gathering strength)

Jerks are jerks, whoever wants to reform them!

Thanks goodness I would never see their faces again in this life 😊🎉

I love daddy so much for the phrase 'I wouldn't mind entering prison for this brat so my daughter is safe, I didn't raise her to cry for someone I has to discipline today in his parents' stead' that stiffened one from going on with his 'jokes' in middle school ever since (good grief I had period of desperation at this time because of him and his gang of friends, if he dared to go for sexual harrasment I would've been the one in trouble for getting violent)

So yeah, I has that hatred for shameless boys, aside from the two who liked me, many likes to tease me and watch me panic or gets angry unless I scream they don't stop like sticky bugs.

Really girls, I'm not you and peopleeach has their preferences, but why go for a deal breaker?

As much as I love my daddy, I can't find his smoking behavior attractive but dangerous, I'm eager for him to reduce if not miraculously stop it.

Alcohol and cigarettes are red alarms when on a partner.

So I do never why some would go for drug dealers or ones with chunni syndrome.

The charm is great but choose your first love (at least) candidates with your head instead of hormones.

I asked mom about why women would choose drunkards she said it's because they're soft-hearted and usually easy-going.

I'm confused, sure dad never hit or screamed at us (mom, sis, me) when he used to drink before I turned 5, there's plenty violent ones.