Simple statistical fact is most people read a text within 3 minutes of receiving it. Receiving it means, within 3 minutes of them seeing and then reading a message.
The important thing is that some people are genuinely busy and there are all types of reasons as to why someone may not respond in a timely manner. Do not over react or stress, but their texting habits is a indicator of their personality and life style.
Do you respond immediately, play it cool or respond the next day?
I consider myself a genuine, honest and sincere person. When it comes to dating I like to be sincere and genuine in my approach to texting, especially when first connecting. There are three major tactics employed when you connect with a romantic interest through text/chat, through a friend or in person these are. These are Respond Immediately, Next Day or the Play it Cool Types. Either of these tactics can be successful, but honestly it has everything to do more with how you connected then how you want to be.
Respond Immediately
For me I am probably this guy, when it comes to online dating. If they are a person that I am genuinely interest in, I will respond immediately. I want to express my interest, and I am not insecure about being rejected or presenting myself as being too eager. I want to express my sincerity that through my texting habits. You have to be careful though, because this can easily lead to over texting, and then relationship burn out.
There is a time and place to be responsive and active in texting, but once you get into a 20 minute back and forth try to take a pause. Just say "I am getting ready to step out, but I will text you later." Then take a couple of hours and text them later. Once you get past the initial phases of the dating process you honestly should not be texting each other more then once or twice a day. You should be saving most the conversation for the dates, and texting is more about making plans for seeing each other again. Prevent the 'Burn Out."
Play it Cool Type
These are the types that will send short texts only one at a time, and then take time in between sending texts to "Play it Cool." These are the types that do not want to express their interest too strongly or too soon, in order to prevent coming across as being too eager, too interested or too needy. The issue here is that if they do have a sincere interest, and you not being genuine in expressing that interest, then you might be sending the wrong message.
The Play it Cool Types, need to make sure they are not playing it too cool. Your desire to be cool may actually result in cooling off the the other person's interest.
The Next Day Type
These are the the types that will intentionally not reply until the next day no matter what their level of interest is. If you have been online dating long you have ran across this type of person. You like them, they like you... you message then and they wait a day to respond, you respond and they wait again until the next day. Honestly, I can not really understand why someone would think this a good idea for online dating, unless they are genuinely not interested. None the less people do it, but its really just and extreme approach to playing it cool. In truth its not cool, and most people on the receiving end will see it as playing games, or as a sign of insecurity and disinterest.
In real life dating the next day rule is a good rule. When you have meet someone in person, or through a friend, its a good idea to wait a day before reaching out them. Especially if you have already connected with them in real life and got their number, give it a day. But once you a have made the initial connection with them through text then you need to decide if playing cool, or being more responsive is a better idea.
Basic rules of texting
3-Day Rule - After a real life first date, give the other person three days. This means that if you went on a date and they do not respond or text you within three days of the date... then they are not interested in you and you need to "Play it Cool". In this case Playing it Cool means not texting them any more. If they do text you after the 3-day mark and you want to reply to them, then you need to employ the next day rule. Make them wait, no less than 24 hours, but no more than 3-days.
4-Hour Rule - If you send a text and you do not receive a response, wait at least 4 hours before sending a second text. After 4 hours you are more likely to get a response.
24-Hour Rule- It is also advisable to give it at least 24 hours following a date before texting the other person. This is especially true following the first date, maybe not a whole 24 hours , but at least wait until the next day to reach out them. Give them a good 8 to12 hours to process the date and determine, where they are in terms of a potential relationship. Don't wait longer than 24-Hours.
3-Text Rule- If you send more than three texts within any given time period with out receiving a response... then STOP texting them!!!
Simple Fact Is-
- Playing it cool makes people believe they appear less vulnerable. By pretending to be less interested, then that is probably exactly how you are coming across. Studies have shown that people who are more responsive in text, are perceived as being more sexually and emotionally desirable.
- In the same token, being overly responsive can easily lead to over texting and this can be a Red Flag. If someone is too eager, then you start to question what other hobbies and activities they have in their lives other then obsessing over texts.
- At some point everyone needs to play it cool and strike the right balance of when it is enough, without being too little or too much.
- If you're too busy in your life style to pay attention to your phone or messages, especially when it relates to a romantic interest, then you may not be in a good life situation to be dating. Or you are not really looking to or are ready to be dating.
Most Helpful Opinions