My Thoughts and Advices on Texting Girls


In our modern age, texting is very much a double edged sword.

On the one hand it allows you to get in touch quickly and efficiently and also allows you to be forward if you choose to, yet on the other, texting can put you at a standstill, and at times can unfortunately make you seem too insecure or unconfident to actually interact.

The quick story is I have a friend who always brags on that he is writing to about twenty or thirty girls on instagram and text, and in all truth he did! And yet he didn't ever go anywhere with any of them and never managed to do anything concrete by talking to them. They would either stop texting or refuse to meet him afterwards. Now how is that possible!?

Knowing him well and the way he communicates with these girls I have tried to analyze why this is the case and help you not to make the same mistakes.

Like many other guys I made my fair share of terrible texting mistakes, but I hope this post can be of help to some of you who are stuck in the situation I was stuck in many times.

"I got her number....Now what? What should I say, what shouldn't I say!?"

Well let's take a look at a few advice I feel would help:

My Thoughts and Advices on Texting Girls

1. Text with Purpose!

This one is number one for a very good reason. I personally think it's the most important thing when it comes to texting, and the most important and related question is: "What do I want to achieve by texting this girl?"...The fact is if you're like most guys and just got her number, you probably like her and want to work your way to getting her in person to a date or other gathering and this is the most important thing to keep in mind.

Why is it important you might ask? Because a major mistake I perceive is guys texting too extensively and for way too long without actually keeping an eye on what their real objective is. You don't want to get to know her and discuss your entire life goals and story BY TEXT! Unless you are looking for a cyber relationship what you want is to get her out as quickly as you can.

A lot of the rest which I will be discussing will relate to this point in particular, but starting to text....and text.....and and night will totally ruin any chances you have because

A) Girls are maybe not totally keen on replying to you 24/7, having conversations by text for very long, and they might get totally bored which will kill the original attraction you created. You're wasting time and this girl is probably going to get with someone in the meantime and you lost your window!

B) Even if said girl is into you, she doesn't want to know you and be attracted to you from behind a phone screen and she's actually waiting for you to put something on the table to actually do something concrete instead of texting forever.

In either case texting without purpose is bad news for you, and in my own opinion anyway, the very 'early' days of texting with this girl should not even be a conversation but a simple and quick leeway into a meeting in person. Later into this post I will exemplify this!

2. Treat it like a professional transaction (Kind of...)

Alright stick with me here for a moment because at first sight this may sound weird. First off I am not saying you should be a heartless businessman texting, texting shouldn't be boring, texting should be fun!

But the most important thing is that for girls to take you seriously you have to be serious with them.

What I mean by that is you have to make them understand that your time is important and is not to be waisted. Girls WILL respect and appreciate this coming from you. Although you're not outright saying it, you shouldn't be insecure about setting some 'ethical conduct' to follow in order not to have your time wasted, and make these girls understand implicitly that you have things going on and you do not want to be toyed with!

Now that sounds harsh right...? Well like I said i'm not saying that you should outline this, but you have to be straightforward and as I explained above make girls understand that you're not at their disposition and that your time and energy is not to be waisted. Ask things concretely, don't ask for permission, establish precise moments, times and dates and hold them up to the commitments that they make. This will do a couple things for you. Girls will see you as more dependable and professional, they will see you as more in control which is attractive coming from a man and will perceive you as 'hard to get' which is equally attractive. It will allow you to see if you can depend on that person and weather or not she is serious and dependable or just playing around, It will get you to come across as conscise and straightforward, and although it appears as a harsh thing to do and a strange way to behave in my experience a girl will definitely respect you a lot more when they feel you doing this.

You don't want to be played and you don't want any bullshit! You don't have to say it, but you can convey it!

3. Open with something original.

Alright let's face it you probably have heard this before, but it is still relevant! Guys what would it cost you to be original and engaging? Girls receive texts all the time, likely 98% of those opening texts start by "Hi", "Hey" , "Hello how are you doing?" , "How is it going?" Very generic and uninteresting opening texts set you up for conversations and interactions which will have the exact same characteristics.

It's nice to be polite but you should look for more! And i'm not talking about some pickup lines or something very cringey or cheesy. But just set yourself appart from the bunch, I bet you are looking for some examples so I will put a few out there that I feel are engaging

Open by:

"Can you keep a secret?"

"You'll never guess what i'm doing right now?"

"I saw something which made me think about you"

"What are you doing RIGHT NOW!?"

"Hey (her name). I need to tell you something right now!"

Some of these may resonate with you more than others and it depends on the situation but I feel each of them engages the girl's curiosity and interest, everybody wants to know a secret, or wants to know what is so urgent you need to tell them immediately, wants to share the specific thing they are doing, it's very alluring for her to respond. It gives you an opportunity to follow up, manages to set you apart from the others, and also allows you to be playful and heartfelt.

4. Think about using the 5th text rule

It's a little something which relates to our first advice. Know what you want and go for it very concisely and quickly!

Basically this is how it goes:

1. Open up with a text.

2. Let her respond

3. Follow up by commenting on that response

4. Allow for a 2nd response

5. Ask her to meet in person straight away on the 5th text

This may seem quick, but there's nothing negative to that. Here's the thing friends. Girls are not stupid, they know what you want in most instances...So why not cut the crap and just be bold? "Luck smiles upon the one who dares" said Alexander the Great. So like we mentioned before DO NOT waste time...Ask yourself: When is the best time to do anything? The answer that you've probably guessed is 'RIGHT FREAKING NOW'

It could be a very formal demand but it doesn't have to be. You ought to probably be casual about it and at the same time by being concise she will understand that you're going straight for the kill and you're not interested in playing the texting game forever. I don't want to throw out what exactly you should text her to ask her out because every girl is different and those are probably not THE BEST ever, i'm not saying they are!...I think the best advice I can give you is avoid asking "Do you want to?"

"We should hangout sometime, do you prefer tea or coffee, I'm buying!"

"Let me take you out to dinner this (Day of the week) at (Restaurant), they have great (Food) , you need to taste it because you're missing out."

"I want to go out with you (Her name), what is your schedule like this week?"

Again this is not necessarily 'WHAT YOU SHOULD TEXT HER' but it gives you an idea of being straight to the point...You're not asking! You're putting the offer out there very concisely. So in each case you will be fixed, this is personal but the very simple question that I want to convey when I talk to a girl is "Do you want, or do you not want?" In my opinion a clear NO is better than a 'maybe', 'I don't know', I'm not sure' I want to know for sure and move on to something else without wasting any time if there is no possibility of doing anything.

Anyways here are my advices, hope that they help you and keep in mind the greatest advice is to be direct and make a girl understand what you're about. Let me know if this has helped you, and girls let me know if you agree because I feel this will be very constructive.

My Thoughts and Advices on Texting Girls
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Most Helpful Girl

  • courtney06

    I totally agree with all of this, especially text with purpose. I stopped replying to guys (and most people) who just text "hey" "hi" "sup" "how are you" They need to do better than that after all the bullshit I dealt with, i. e., finding out people don't care about me as much as I thought. I am also done with cyber-relationships especially with people who live close to me. I had a guy friend who was more interested in a digital relationship than an in-person one and he only lives 20 min away from me. He would send paragraphs of texts when I just wanted to see him. I eventually learned that he had no romantic feelings for me, so whenever he texts me I don't really answer unless it's an engaging text and lately I don't reply until the next day to avoid the lengthy text conversation and to protect my feelings. I prefer people who want to see me face to face and put in the effort to do so.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lance1965

    Texting is an half-assed way of communicating. There is no body language or facial expressions to judge on so it is very hard to know if what you are reading is genuine. It is also easier to say things you don't mean when you are not face to face with someone.

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  • AllThatSweetJazz

    I can't imagine asking to meet after 5 texts. I don't even want to meet after 5 texts, I want to have a conversation and know who I'm interacting with before I leave my house to go meet a complete rando.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Well everyone is different which is why i said consider using the 5th text rule.
      But here's the thing, if you got her number... How is she a random?
      And even if she is, what is best? To meet with a random person and get to know her face to face, and perhaps you don't like that person in which case you just say bye bye... Or to know her behind a phone screen, in which case you may lose her...
      Here's the thing if she's really cute.. while you're 'Getting to know her' on your phone... Someone like me maybe already asked her out and seeing her in person... See the issue in that..

    • I assumed you were talking tinder or something like that.

      I wasn't saying it's not effective to try after 5 texts, I'm just remarking that I think it's silly that it's what they respond to..

      If I got her number from a face to face interaction (do people still had out their phone number instead of social media?) then I wouldn't even consider it texting, I'm just trying to meet her again. I'd actively avoid conversation over text if I was already interested in seeing her again. But that doesn't happen to me so... whatever.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • MissGee212

    Texting is great as an initial opener and ice breaker. Once mutual interests and the conversation starts to flow easily, then a meetup/date should naturally happen next with an actual phone conversation to seal the deal. It's always good to be forward and direct with your intentions. No one likes to have their time wasted.

    Like 1 Person
    • Worriedone

      Lol I wish girls still liked talking on the phone... but unfortunately most don’t even in our generation

  • Youngin392

    I’m still stuck on the previous step “Get the phone number”

    Like 1 Person
    • LOL Same casual but straightforward in person... You can maybe just say about when the conversation is ending.
      "Here give me your phone number so we can get in touch..."
      A good thing also is preparing a contact space on your phone and straight up tell her to put her number in your phone because it's very unlikely she will refuse to do it if you hand her the phone. It worked for me a lot. Just hand your phone and say "Here put your number in".

  • loveArt1983

    I noticed some those texting dating sites they also opted for video chats?
    some guys on there were saying if picture doesn't look good enough its fake profile?

  • Patmedley26

    The girl I currently like we usually don't text a lot anyways we talk a whole lot in person. We usually spend time with each other at the gym working out. The only problem is she recently got off a bad breakup and says she likes me but needs time... ever since the breakup she texts me more than when we first met... but at the same time she's really independent so I don't expect much initiation from her especially through text.

    It's confusing right now but I am giving her time

    • By giving her time you are making yourself too available. Go date other girls. Only date her when she's ready too if you want to then but it's on her at this point. Otherwise you risk the friendzone by texting her all the time.

  • realperson02

    Nice take. Loved it the way you presented it because texting is a pain in the ass if you go wrong about it. I personally never want to be a texting buddy of a girl I am attracted to.

  • MrCrewCut

    Thanks god for this MyTake! And thanks to you of course! :)

    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • Gedaria

    Good, but don't you think the girls are wise to this?

    • Well if you mean by 'wise' is that they can see you coming well... Some of them are.
      But there is no trick to the advice iv'e given, it's not pickup or anything it's just being straightforward and putting your offer out there efficiently...

    • Gedaria

      Not finding fault with the advice. Girls can read between the lines, I have been with my daughters when they have received texts from boys. With the usual , dad what is he on about.. Very entertaining !!!

  • grashopper

    Do you also give advice of how to sext girls?

    Disagree 2 People
    • nope never do that

    • My best advice is DO NOT DO IT!
      I am dead serious.. It doesn't work unless you are already in a relationship in which case it's very difference... It really doesn't...

  • yuvi2012

    Texting is good... nerds not good

    Disagree 1 Person
  • VixenRach

    Nice take

  • Nik5600

    don't waste time

  • Anonymous

    yes! all of this is such good advice.