What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

Anonymous

I consider myself to have a lot of experience with guys. I've made a list and have counted over 30 guys where there was something, labeled or unlabeled, happening. From age 14 up until my age now here are some truths I've always found to be true with nearly every guy on the list:

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

1. They never appreciated what was given too easily

For example, the guy I never shared my personal life with worked hard to hear about it while the guy I always shared my personal life with grew to resent hearing about it.

The guy I was reluctant to get in a relationship treated me much better than the guy I ran into a relationship with.

The one friends with benefits I had even, the guy grew unappreciative of the sex. To the point where he didn't even care if he was getting it anymore. Treated me terribly. And of course the guy I waited to have sex with was much more appreciative to have it.

Point is, don't give anything too early. Don't give a lot of your time too early, don't give a lot of your energy too early, don't give a relationship too early, don't give sex too early. NOTHING TOO EARLY, make them EARN it no matter how good they seem. They want to feel like they've earned something.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

2. They LOVE genuine compliments

Find one thing you genuinely like about them. Then whenever you guys actually chat and casually mention it and keep the conversation moving. Guys don't get a lot of compliments so it really means a lot to them when they get one, especially from a woman.

3. Looks matter. Demeanor matters. Race matters too

I am of color and I have had far more dating options in diverse areas than in predominantly white areas. Race does matter. We hate to say it but people do have race preferences. Some people are far more likely to date someone of their own race than of different races. Less than 20% of the guys on my list weren't of color and only one of them had I actually had a relationship with.

Looks and demeanor mattered too. It's self explanatory but I did not get many options when I had short hair and dressed casually. I'm talking polo shirt, knee shorts kind of thing. But something less obvious that I also found was that demeanor mattered too. I consider myself an uptight person. So in times when I was chill they seemed to like that more. Not being so fast to speak and nod my head for example peaked their interest a little more. Not being afraid to be honest (even if it hurt their feelings) was another thing that seemed to keep them on their feet. All of this held true as long as they knew I had some kind of interest in them.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

4. There needs to be some space

Please, please don't invest in them too early. This has been the number one reason I have lost guys. Wherever there was a lack of space there was also a lack of respect. And whenever

I also think this is the reason why women suffer the phenomena where guys they aren't interested in chase as they struggle to get guys they are interested. We tend to be sure about certain guys early - yes I mean those car-owning, good-looking, hard-working guys. We think, I"'d totally date that guy", and its that very same early sureness that runs them away sometimes. On the other hand, guys we're not sure about we think "ehh he likes me but I don't think I really like him, he's kind of (choose your word here: ugly, boring, lazy, annoying, etc)". And it's that very same unsureness that makes them think they could get you with a little extra self-work.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

5. Seriously space is very important

Space is a woman's best friend. No contact is a woman's best friend. Seriously, guys can often take things for granted. It's only after they lose it that some of them realize how good they had it. That's when they come back.

But if you don't leave them alone they can never reach that realization. If you don't know how to give space, learn immediately. Else you might find that guys feel suffocated by you.

One simply does not learn to appreciate what is always there for them.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

6. Comfort early isn't always a good thing

This ties in with the last point. If a guy knows you like him so much that he can treat you any kind of way without you leaving what do you think will happen? Same thing for if a guy knows he can do anything and just apologize for it later so that you don't leave. Don't be so forgiving on serious matters.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

7. They're horny beings

This might be really out there but I think women can have sex with almost any guy they want. All they have to do is say something mildy suggestive when they get the chance. It should be sexual enough so that they get the hint you're down to engage in sexual activity. At the same time it shouldn't be so sexual that they're taken aback.

The only places I could see this not working is if the guy is taken, sexually picky, a celeb, or anything along those means.

You can also do this when they're being aloof. Say something mildly suggestive then watch how good they treat you when they come back.

But my point is, a lot of them are horny beings. Unless they're asexual, your body will always be of value to them (even though it should never be the only thing of value to them).

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

8. They pull away when mad

Most guys pull away when they're mad. They retreat to their man cave and only come out after some time away from the situation. When a guy is in his man cave, proceed with caution. If you interrupt them while they're in their man cave it may not end well. This is a space thing once again.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

9. If he actually cares, he'll listen to what you want

This is pretty self-explanatory so I won't go into detail. Just know, yes, if he cares he'll listen when you tell him to stop because it hurts.

10. They don't want a women with a supreme amount of experience

It's messed up but they usually don't want to wife up the woman who everyone knows has had a lot of sexual partners. Especially if it's been with their friends.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

11. They use excuses

"My ex really hurt me", "I don't want to ruin our friendship", "I don't deserve you", "I'm not ready", and "I'm not looking for a relationship" are all different phrases for the same meaning: he's not interested. One of these paired along with a request to be friends with benefits instead is all the more of a reason to run the hell away.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

12. You shouldn't ignore how you feel

If you constantly feel like something's off there IS something wrong, and it's either with him or you. If you realize you're constantly feeling upset by how little he texts for example, it either means he really doesn't text a lot or your texting expectations might be a little high. Don't ignore these feelings if they're persistent, figure out what you can do to prevent being affected by the problem so often.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

13. You should watch out for patterns

People date, break up, then get back together and break up FOR THE SAME REASONS AS THE FIRST TIME. Don't do this to yourself. Patterns happen. Be on the lookout for them. Be fast to catch and stop them. Refuse to even consider being normal again until change is shown. The earlier you close the barndoor the better.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys

14. If there really was chemistry, there's a decent chance they'll come back

As long as you:

- benefitted them in some kind of way before they left

- didn't severely piss them off before they left and

- leave them alone for awhile

There's a decent chance start missing you and possibly come back. This isn't always the case though and you should seriously consider whether you should take them back before you actually do because of the pattern problem I mentioned previously.

So yeah. I am in no way demonizing guys bur these are the main themes I've noticed time and time again with guys in my age group. Feel free to share your opinion on some of these.

What I’ve Come To Realize Over 30+ Guys
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Most Helpful Guys

  • DaveJord

    I agree with you on a lot of your points I would only add that this works both ways as well, because like you say men want a lot of the same things. When a man and women are wanting the same things and then using the same methods as you have advised then it can all unravel into people playing games and get confused and overly complicated, when all could of been avoided.

    I particularity disagree with 1 & 5...

    1. They never appreciated what was given too easily..

    I think in general this is true... but nothing turns a guy off more than a women playing hard to get. If she's interested then she needs to make that interest known and not take measures to hide it. Same is true for men. Because as a man nothing is more infuriating then when you are expected to work way harder then you should for something that doesn't pan or pay out. There has to be a balance, in which she is working just as hard as the guy if they both want to be in a productive, positive relationship.

    Dating and relationships in so many ways are transactional and there is an expected level of quid pro guo. I always advise that if you are in a relationship or seeking a potential relationship with someone, man or women, and get into a situation where you feel your working way harder then you need to, or putting out more effort than the other person to make it work, then resentment starts to build. Once you start having these feelings of anxiety building then I would refer you back to 8 & 5. (Space & Man Cave).

    I for one as a man do not run back to my man cave, because I know I have a lot to offer the right women... and if she was the right women then she would appreciate me enough to work with me not just with or on herself. I as man have value and bring value into a relationship as well and that needs to be recognized and appreciated as well.

    "I always say that when two people met and its supposed to be, they both make it as easy as possible to find ways to make it work and be together. "

    I always advise men that most important thing you have to offer a women is your friendship and companionship, if you give that way too early or for so little then she will never respect you. Don't work too hard for some one that is not working just as hard for you.

    5. Seriously space is very important

    I think this is the biggest mistake a women can make honestly. Yes you have to set boundaries, but demanding space can be taken as selfish or devaluing to the man. It never works on me honestly. When a women does this to a guy... well to me it means she has no appreciation for me, or she does not value me on the same level that she values herself. It honestly the most selfish thing a women can do. If you really care for a person you want to be with them, and you think cutting them off from contact is the best way to earn their appreciation. Well honestly that is the definition of playing games and guys hate that, especially when you couple it with #1 ... meaning you gave nothing way too early, or too soon and made them work harder then you should of from the start, start because you set your personal worth that high, and now you want to get space because you deserve that. Well does the guys have value and is that really fair to him?

    When ever a women starts talking about needing space I go to my cave. Because I think its the most self centered thing a women can do... especially with someone you want to be in a relationship with. Because if you are with someone you care about and want to be with then you should be able to work through any issues together, not separately.

    If you think this is a good way to make them respect you, then you are wrong. It just makes guys like me think your selfish and lack appreciation for our feelings and how it makes us feel. This leads more times then not to feeling of resentment and generates anxiety in the relationship. When a women does this to me then I move on because I have too much self respect for myself... so unless she comes back to me then I respect her "space" and move on to some else that will treat me better and appreciate me for what I do for her.

    "Again when two people met and get together and they should both equally be making as easy as possible to be together and work out issues... not harder."

    And lastly the last thing you want to is take advise from some one things they have it all figured out... because nobody does. You have to approach every potential relationship as it own and separate thing and what works for one person does not always work on another and if you focus too much on yourself within a relationship you can lose track of the situation and miss read everything.

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    • Anonymous

      In 1 I'm not saying play hard to get. I'm saying - well - exactly what I already said. Dont bring him back home so early. Dont be so quick to get in a relationship with him. Dont be so quick to devote the same amount of time and energy to him you would to someone you are dating/married to.
      Too often I see women get their hopes up too fast. You have to get to know the guy before anything. Make sure you know he's a good guy and stuff before you devote so much effort so you dont get your time wasted and your heart broken. Thats what I mean.

    • Anonymous

      Again you're misinterpreting things here.

      "Space is a woman's best friend. No contact is a woman's best friend. Seriously, guys can often take things for granted. It's only after they lose it that some of them realize how good they had it. That's when they come back."

      In a short sentence this says: If you are being taken for granted, give space.
      If you disagree with this sentence lmk.

    • DaveJord

      In a short sentence this says: If you are being taken for granted, give space.
      If you disagree with this sentence lmk.

      I guess it not so much about someone giving space but taking space for themselves.

      So if you're feeling like he's taking you for granted that is different thing, and you can't allow that.
      But when you disengage from him and cut contact... yeah I would say 60% or more of the time he's never coming back... and if he does he's its more about him being desperate then respecting you more.

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  • Anonymous

    Nicely done. This is one of the best Takes I've read in a while. A few thoughts...

    2. They LOVE genuine compliments – very true. Most men are starved for positive feedback these days. It goes a long way, especially from a woman, as you said.

    4. There needs to be some space – good advice

    7. They're horny beings – what else can I say, this is 100% true.

    8. They pull away when mad – excellent advice

    9. If he actually cares, he'll listen to what you want – true, and again, especially if he has some maturity

    10. They don't want a woman with a supreme amount of experience – very, very true. Yes, it may be a double standard, but there are two sides to that. I would suggest women should raise their standards rather than expecting men to lower theirs. We men have an instinctive aversion to promiscuous women. There is nothing society will be able to do to change that.

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    • Anonymous

      "We men have an instinctive aversion to promiscuous women." How come women who are openly promiscuous on social media for example get the most attention then? Any woman can tell you about their bikini pictures getting double the likes her other pictures do.

    • Anonymous

      When I say aversion, I'm talking about women we could take seriously enough for a serious relationship or marriage. A lot of men are sexually hungry all the time, and social media and porn are an easy outlet for that. But when it's time to find a loyal partner who will be a good mother to our children, it's not an Instagram model we're looking for. We know instinctively that promiscuous women are not the best choice for a wife / mother, and the facts support that instinct.

    • Anonymous

      Oh. Huh that's interesting. I feel like I believe that to a certain extent? It actually seems like the Instagram models find partners faster than I do 😂

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Most Helpful Girls

  • MrsTurkleton

    I don’t think “ no contact” should be used as a way of making a guy come back to you.
    If you go no contact, make it permanent from the start as a way of moving on with your life. If he wants to talk, you should seriously think about whether you are actually right for each other, & if it’s a really good idea to go back for a 2nd time.
    Nobody should treat it like game. Don’t cut him off and then sit around counting the days and checking your phone, or see it as a “win” if he calls you. The only thing you win is more of the same problems as before.
    If he treats you badly…. or dumps you out of nowhere, value yourself enough to just move on. Don’t waste your time trying to show him what he’s missing.
    If he wants you back, it has to be worth going back to on both sides.

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    • Anonymous

      Them realizing what they had after no contact is just all the more of a reason why you should do no contact if you're being taken for granted. Shouldn't be the sole reason for why you're doing such. The sole reason for why you should be doing anything like no contact (when being taken for granted) is for space. Space for him and space for you.

    • Anonymous

      Thats why it's "5. Seriously space is very important" and not "5. They come back after you pull away". The ladder isn't always the case: "Seriously, guys *can* often take things for granted. It's only after they lose it that *some of them* realize how good they had it. That's when they come back."

    • Anonymous

      "If he wants to talk, you should seriously think about whether you are actually right for each other, & if it’s a really good idea to go back for a 2nd time."
      100% agree. Wrote this in the post already actually.

      "14. If there really was chemistry, there's a decent chance they'll come back... This isn't always the case though and you should seriously consider whether you should take them back before you actually do because of the pattern problem I mentioned previously."

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  • KelleyNice

    Re: The guy I was reluctant to get in a relationship treated me much better than the guy I ran into a relationship with.

    The first was a 5 and you were the best he could so of course he treats you better. The second was a 7 and far above you league. Therefore, he could do better than you so naturally he didn't treat you as well.

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    • Anonymous

      Oh that's true. That could very well be the case. It probably is. Are you implying I'm a 6 >:(

    • Anonymous

      There's been times when the guy wasn't all that great though and I ran into the relationship because I was lonely. Some of them also didn't treat me that well.

    • KelleyNice

      Based on the bell curve, most people are close to average so, without a photo or other info, 6 is a reasonable guess.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

742
  • OlderAndWiser

    1. They never appreciated what was given too easily. Do you think the same is true of women? What is it that you devalue if you receive it too easily?

    2. They LOVE genuine compliments You got that right!

    3. Looks matter. Demeanor matters. Race matters too If you're not attracted, you can't change the way you feel!

    4. There needs to be some space. Guys have this problem, too! Too clingy, too needy, too soon.

    5. Seriously space is very important. Absolutely!

    6. Comfort early isn't always a good thing. But I want a woman wo makes me feel comfortable and the sooner I recognize that, the sooner I look at her as a candidate for an LTR.

    7. They're horny beings. Yes, we are!

    8. They pull away when mad. I do that so that I have time to let some of those strong feelings dissipate. I would rather wait and discuss things later than have an argument now.

    9. If he actually cares, he'll listen to what you want. Despite what the butthurt boys think, I believe this is one of the most important attributes to offer a woman.

    10. They don't want a women with a supreme amount of experience. I can't speak for the younger guys. At my age, a woman is either experienced or a virgin, and the 67 year old virgins aren't dating.

    11. They use excuses. We ALL use excuses. I once had a girl tell me that she'd "love" to go out with me on Friday night but, unfortunately, that's the night she washes her hair! Really. At my age, if I meet a woman and we don't click, at the end of the date, I tell her that I don't think we're a good match and I wish her good luck.

    12. You shouldn't ignore how you feel. Right. Instincts are right more often than many of us want to admit.

    13. You should watch out for patterns. Isolated instances don't tell us much about a person or a relationship but patterns of behavior tell the story!

    14. If there really was chemistry, there's a decent chance they'll come back. But it takes more than chemistry to make a relationship work, and if it failed the first time, the odds are probably greater than 90% that it will fail the second time.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
    • Danonic

      True

    • Anonymous

      Interesting. I learned some things myself from this reply.
      In response to 1 though there's really not anything except sex maybe id devalue if given too easily.

  • Rose_84

    Firstly I appreciate you for putting so much effort to write this. This is true for most cases.

    Also according to my observation the guys you're talking about are playboys and f*ckboys. The real gentlemen are quite opposite because I've seen them in real life. You don't have to 'make them appreciate it'. If someone really cares about you, they won't put you in a position where you have to play games by giving them adrenaline rush after going no contact.

    Commenting on looks: Average looking guys who don't accept average women are big hypocrites. It's so unfair to expect a pretty hot woman to settle with average looking guy. We don't go too much on looks because there's more to the personality.

    The guys you're talking about were just users and trust me no matter how many times you give them space/good sex/attention/thrill and look gorgeous, after few months or years they WILL have extra marital affairs behind your back and you'll realize it very late.

    Be safe, don't settle with cheap guys.

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  • TheHelleri

    ... All I can say without writing a point for point novel on why this is way off base and exactly the kind of thinking that does massive damage to relationships is... Maybe you should try not minimizing and being dismissive of men's emotions. But instead try to actually figure out how to communicate (good communication is not automatic). You'll possibly get a lot farther if your entire strategy isn't avoidance based.

    Like 1 Person
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    • FilmGuy93

      Really? I felt like she did a really good job.

    • TheHelleri

      @FilmGuy93 In this take men are made into a monolith with blanket prescriptions for how to regard and treat them. There is not one iota of attempting to diagnose why these issues are becoming issues to begin with. and nothing prescribed actually does anything in the way of resolution. Just kicking the can further down the road. It's a great strategy if you want to have a slow and unawares resentment build in a relationship.

    • FilmGuy93

      I didn't read it that way at all. I read it as one woman's observation that men are a hell of a lot simpler to deal with than she initially thought.

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  • Seinna

    It's one of the best my takes I've read (granted I don't read them often). I'll even save it for future reference because your findings seem to align with mine, albeit I've had less experience with men.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Thank you so much! It means a lot.

  • DirkCoenen

    I would like to add religious abstinence to your list of exceptions in the "guys want sex" category. There are still some of us with principles out there.

    Like 2 People
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    • Anonymous

      You're so right. That is definitely true.

  • ragnar168

    Its in biology, in the old days if a woman had multiple men, it was impossible to know who the father was, so the men would not raise and protect the child. If a man had mutiple woman you know who the father is, and since the father knows the child is his he protects and raises him

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    • ragnar168

      Thats the logic behind the #10 why most people think its double standard

    • @ragnar168. Only loose women and male cucks think it is a double standard.

    • Anonymous

      I actually did not know that. It is a double standard but that helps me to recognize why it may have been there in the first place, thanks.

  • Friendlybro79

    These are great observations and I can say none are easy to disagree with.

    I will note that with a little changing to context on a few of these I would say this is almost exactly my experience if I would write one about women.

    So interesting to me that we think men and women are so different but I've always thought we're more similar than we tend to admit.

    Like 1 Person
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    • And I mean from my personal experiences not in general of all women.

    • Anonymous

      Huh thats really interesting. Even the horny beings one for example?

    • Yes lol. Women can sometimes be really horny beings too.

  • MCheetah

    I know what 20-something on here wrote this. How they'd hide your age on here, too? I disagree with #1 and #11, but the rest are fairly accurate. Well done.

    Like 1 Person
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    • Anonymous

      I'd bet you $100 for you to guess my pen name. If you actually guessed it I'd be so shocked.

    • Anonymous

      Im waiting >:(

    • MCheetah

      You know who you are, sneaky minx.

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  • midnightmoon05

    Good take.
    hope your experiences has taking you to the man of your dreams
    you deserve to be treated like a princess…don’t let any disrespect you. ❤️

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  • YHL6965

    #1 True but don't see it as an encouragement to play hard to get. Playing hard to get will only leave the players chasing after you and most guys won't waste their time playing games

    #4 & #5 Yes, space is important, but I feel what you describe is playing games and, personally, I hate playing games. Be straight forward and voice your feelings, but don't play mind games as many guys will probably not want to waste their time being confused by games.

    #8 This joins what you mentioned about space. Personally, when I pull back like that, it's because I don't want to be angry at the person and risk being hurtful to them by saying something stingy or lashing out. If you break this, make sure to do it for the right reason and with the right attitude. Only do this if you plan on settling things in a positive, welcoming manner. Any hostility will just built up resentment even more as, now, he can't even be left alone to process his feelings because you intrude in the peace he is trying to (re) build.

    #12 Agree, especially with the "it might be him or you" part. Make sure it is truly about him before involving him into the equation. No "you cheated on me in my dreams" kind of nonsense.

    #13 Most definitely, learn the patterns and you'll see people coming from a mile away.

    #14 I'd say be careful, just like you said, patterns, but also people change so you might not get the same thing you had, especially if something was broken inside of him at some point during the relationship.

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  • Texaskid1

    You have observed men well.

    Also , what do you mean by texting back too early? And what would be an example of something" mildly suggestive" ?

    Like 1 Person
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    • Anonymous

      Not being that person that texts back in 3 seconds all the time basically. It's fine to do it sometimes just not all the time.
      Mildy suggestive, it depends on the context really. I think I shouldve mentioned its mildy suggestive behavior moreso than anything. Like bending over to pick up something you dropped then smirking when you catch him looking. Equipping a sexy voice when he's around. Engaging in sex conversations. That kind of stuff

  • Zeus_66

    Just another rant in the end that indirectly equates to man hating. Really, that's all this is. Nothing original here except for your high body count at a young age.

    Disagree 2 People
    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Not quite buddy. Body count usually constitutes to those you have had sexual intercourse with. Also I already said "I am in no way demonizing guys". Read the take before you comment next time angry stranger.

    • PolyGamer

      I didn't get man-hating vibes from that at all.
      people are complicated in general and I don't know if this considers alpha males or soy boys etc etc, but it was still helpful to me how other males have behaved from her experiences.

      anyway, just chill, find a nice woman to sex the war out of you.

    • Zeus_66

      @MissImNotGonnaShowYouMyPenName: I did read your rant. What I said stands. By the way, your whole point about saying you are demeaning guys... That's hilarious. Because that's EXACTLY what you did. Proof? Ever hear somebody start off by saying, "I'm not racist, but..." Yeah, I bet that's the type of person you are as well. Very one dimensional and bitter.

      No anger here, my little puppet. Just love seeing weak and insecure people like you spun up and triggered. Have a blessed day.

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  • anon1903

    #10 is the reason why I'm single. I'm a virgin and I'm disgusted.

    LikeHelpful 3 People
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    • Anonymous

      Yeah it's really unfortunate. I never understood why it was okay for a guy to have quite a few bodies but not a woman.

    • anon1903

      It's a double standard. Thankfully, as a bisexual person, I can choose to sleep with a woman instead! 🌻

  • Smegskull

    Statisticaly race is apparently a bigger issue for women than for men so I suspect that perception may be self fulfilling/projection. Other than that a pretty good first draft. It's a shame your future is ao bleak and lonely though.

    Helpful 1 Person
    Reply
    • Anonymous

      I know what I experienced. And I've actually seen statistics that said my combination of gender and race (black woman) were least desired.

    • Anonymous

      If you have a source for your first sentence, send it. Otherwise your gaslighting attempts were fruitless.

    • Smegskull

      Sure www.mit.edu/~6.s085/papers/racialPreferences.pdf
      "We first look at the decisions of female subjects. For all races except Asians, all the coef-ficients on the race indicator variables are negative, implying a same-race preference... For male subjects, the coefficients on racial preferences are predominantly negative but are not jointly significant at 5% for any race... Thus on average, women exhibit stronger racial preferences than men."

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  • Ill_made_Knight

    The thing is, you've had experiences enough to recognize a bunch of common behaviors of people looking for a mate. You can probably even identify a bunch of 'em pretty quickly if you aren't experiencing brain fog due to a lust overload.
    Your difficult task is to not be too invested in someone too quickly.
    You can usually tell if someone is being evasive or just trying to get some quick pussy if your head is clear. Just keeping this fact in mind can be quite helpful.
    Sometimes engaging in a little self pleasure before a social engagement too.

    LikeHelpful 2 People
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    • Anonymous

      Thank you so much for the help. I get hopeful way too soon. It's actually something all the women in my family are guilty of. Having gone through all these experiences has made me more realistic though about what to expect. But yeah I'm still working on it!

    • I'm like that too, and I'm a 60 yr. old man... we all remain works in progress.

    • CA4444

      We’re all guilty of wishful thinking sometimes especially when it’s something we need/want a lot, but it’s human nature too we shouldn’t blame ourselves too much, but we need to be aware of this of course as it’s doesn’t end well… be it a relationship or business adventure or whatever

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  • Zolly99999

    Sorry but not all men are like this and you shouldn't generalize them ( women hate this right 🤔) I do agree with a couple of your statements though. Please don't lump us all together.

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    • She did say this was her personal experience of all 30 guys had in trait. Not all men in general.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah trust me im not. But it would also be dumb not to keep these things in mind.

    • Zolly99999

      You do realize these cam be applied to women too

  • FreedMan

    I can agree with a lot of what you said and much of what you said applies to women as well. The not dating outside their race I don't agree with at all as it pertains to men's preferences. I think this has more to do with local demographics and social circles than preference. If they are surrounded by people of their own race as most of us usually are outside of major metropolitan areas then being surrounded by your own race in your daily life is pretty typical. I actually prefer and typically date non-White women because of the vastly different experiences we both have. That and on average I tend to enjoy learning their family traditions and what not much more. As to the noticing patterns... lol I mean you're pulling this info from your what I assume to be romantic interactions with 30+ guys and you seem to be the common denominator...

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    • Anonymous

      Common denominator for what? Why the interactions didn't continue?

      I think you're mistaken sweetie. Let me make this easier for you to understand. By no means am I saying I've been in 30+ relationships. I haven't even been in 10. However, I HAVE been in 30+ encounters. Even if the encounter was just a guy flirting with me. Even if I didn't reciprocate feelings. Even if we were just friends. Even if we had just had an intimate conversation.

      Picking at random, this one guy on my list. I met him during summer classes. After some time he asked if I liked him and mentioned that he liked me too but the circumstance wouldn't go anywhere for [reason]. We continued flirting still but stayed as friends and when summer classes ended he moved back to his home state. In my time with him, I realized he followed 4 of the things I mentioned on my list.

    • Anonymous

      Another random. This guy from school. Was actually friends with my ex. Hit me up a bit after me and my ex split. We had an intimate conversation. We stopped talking but I don't even remember who left who on read. I knew I didn't like him and never reached out again (don't forget communication is a two-way effort) because he was too inappropriate for me. He also reached out later on and I remember completely rejecting anything he was attempting because I was taken at that time. He eventually unadded me off socials. In my time with him, I realized he followed 5 of the things I mentioned on my list.

    • FreedMan

      1. I'm not your sweetie.
      2. I wasn't necessarily trying to cast shade but the way you word your post made it appear as if you had more than a passing interaction with these men. Furthermore, you really don't gain any experience from a pedestrian interaction with anyone man or woman. You're getting the face they put forth to the world and even then only the surface of it. Given the misunderstanding I would say that my comment was fair operating under that mistaken perception.

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  • FilmGuy93

    Wow, this is a really thoughtful take! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. The only thing I just want to add is that men really want women to bring them a sense of peace. American women especially do not understand how to bring peace to the people around them.

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  • Gangactivities911

    I agree with a lot of these but number 1 I think is bad advice

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    • Anonymous

      It honestly depends on what you define as early. Early to me was as early as inviting him back home the day I met him once even. I was young and dumb

    • Anonymous

      I think anything within the span of at least 3 days from meeting him is too early no matter how close you've grown within those 3 days.

    • Well maybe not give sex too early but giving time and attention early on isn’t bad I think

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  • Vegasrunner

    Your list is ok. You can tell that its written from a teenage girl perspective but in my opinion you're accurate on a few things. You also give great insight into what goes on inside the mind of a woman.

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