10 years of bliss

[KatherineJ]

“I don’t need no man telling me what to do”. - Woman

”I don’t want a woman taking my stuff in a divorce.” -Man

I see this, and other variants posted here constantly. If I had been on a site like this when I met my now husband, I would have been frightened (even more than I was) when we first met. I certainly would have been very scared of marrying him! Here is what I have learned in my almost 10 years of being married to the man of my dreams.

I absolutely love being married! Learning “how to be a good wife” is a daily effort, just like my husband works at being a good husband. It’s called mutual love, and respect for the person that we promised in front of our family, friends, and God. I do not compete with my husband for “who’s the boss”. In a lot of areas, that’s his job because he is the man. In other ways, I am “the boss” because those are my strength areas. Does that make me “submissive”? Partially, and in certain instances. Just as he accepts me taking “the lead” in OTHER instances. Husband and Wife are a team, one complimenting the other. We walk side by side, neither “above” the other. One partner should never dominate the other partner. That’s not exactly what I call marriage. For marriage to work, both man and woman have to communicate, and love unconditionally, faults and all. When we got married in August of 2012, I was in way better shape financially than my husband was, since he was just getting out of a military hospital from yet another surgery. Did I think “He’s going to take my stuff”? Nope. I thought “How can we get through his recovery to start our lives together”. I never once thought that he was going to take advantage of me. Before getting married, there is this whole trust thing that you have to be certain about. Without trust, why would anyone want to get married?? I guess I’m babbling, but the bottom line is this:

I love my husband

I love being his wife

And even on days when we have disagreements, we still love, trust, and respect each other as equally important.

If I can offer any advice to anyone it is simply this: If you don’t think you can trust the other person, do not marry him/her!

[OlderAndWiser]

It is very refreshing to hear from someone who knows how to make marriage work and who values the experience!

[KatherineJ]

Thank you so much.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great take, and great advice... And congrats on 10 years... Here's to the next ten🍾🥂

[KatherineJ]

@Brainsbeforebeauty thank you so much! ❤️

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤗🤗

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh

[Guy13]

Positivity concerning married is so rare. I am used to the bashing and regretting.

[KatherineJ]

@guy13 It’s sad. I mean there are moments when we disagree on something, and it gets heated. But that’s rare. I think it has more to do with:
-why are you getting married? Is it for love? The big party?
-What do you expect marriage to be? Do you have realistic expectations?
-What are you willing to do to have a good marriage? Are you willing to put in the work?

I think a lot of people tend to forget that you are marrying another person, and you have to live with each other after the reception. So it’s not always romantic.

[Guy13]

Can’t argue with that. I prefer a “stuck” mentality which comes natural as Christian. Orders are stuck and figure it out and use Ephesians 5 to do it. It is hard to find people who respect the Institution…

[EmmaMary]

@KatherineJ

Although you beat me hands down on the years of marriage, we too have been together for almost ten years, four of which have been in marriage, and not a happier ten years could I ever wish for.

I have absolutely loved reading of your experiences and commitments, with all but the military, again very similar to my own.

Probably like yourself, not a day goes by when we don't learn just a little bit more about each other.

I not only wish you happiness for the next ten years, but for a lifetime of happiness and unforgettable memories. ❤

[KatherineJ]

@EmmaMary we actually started dating 14 years ago… (I feel old now).

But thank you, and I am sure that you and your hubby will have many happy years too! Marrying him was the second best decision I ever made. The best decision was saying “yes” to that first date, even though I really didn’t want to.

[Lliam]

Damn! That was so well said, KatherineJ, and I agree completely.

It's the kind of relationship my wife and I have. We've been happily married now for over 25 years.

[KatherineJ]

Thank you so much @Lliam and congratulations on your silver wedding anniversary!!! ❤️

[Lliam]

Thank you. 🤗

[Twalli]

A lot of people think they have to "win their marriage". Marriage and relationships are not something you have to win. In a way, getting that person to date/marry you, is winning already. They're also winning because they got you to date/marry you. My aunt's first marriage because both she and her ex-husband tried to win their marriage.

[KatherineJ]

@Twalli I’m sorry, but what?

[Twalli]

You learned that marriage is not a competition and that's why you're happy. Those that don't want to get married for the above reasons or whatever haven't learned that any relationship that you're in, isn't a competition. You and your husband know who is better at certain tasks and let that person take the lead. You don't try to be the alpha, and he doesn't either. That's a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

[KatherineJ]

@Twalli thank you for clarifying! Yeah, it’s definitely not a competition. A good marriage starts with two people walking side by side through life.

[Twalli]

I can't speak on marriage from experience. Yet my parents have been married since '84 and haven't had an argument, so I learned a lot of about good relationships from then. Everyone has disagreements, but you don't need to argue. My girlfriend and I haven't had arguments either. We don't always agree and we don't always say what we want to, but we never argue about anything. Granted we've been together a bit over 4 years as opposed to your 10+ years and my parents 45 years (they dated 7 years before getting married). However, I base the success of my relationship by basing it on what my parents taught me about being in a good relationship.

[Assi2k]

I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear this today until I did.

With so many complaints and boogeyman stories out there, we need more voices like yours now more than ever. Thank you. :)

[KatherineJ]

Thank you! Please just use it to replace one of the negative posts you’ll read on here-or elsewhere. There are happy married couples out there.

[Yeetboi__]

Oh I see many, many years in your marriage. Bless the both of you and never lose sight of that thought process. I'm 22 and desire a connection with mutual love and respect that can last for as long as I live.

[KatherineJ]

Thank you. It will happen for you when you are ready. Good luck!

[Emiliamazing]

This is wonderful!

We celebrate 20 next year🥰

[KatherineJ]

@emiliamazing that’s awesome! Happy 19th!

[SaltyBeaches]

Thank you, this was a really nice MyTake. It's nice to see someone saying good things about marriage for a change. Congrats to you and your husband on 10 years!!!

[KatherineJ]

Thank you so much!

[weysally]

good on you, I also feel like that, we may have one except to you, we both love and trust each other, but we also have a sort of open marriage if that makes sense,

[KatherineJ]

@weysally if that’s what works for you, good for you.

[weysally]

well it has for over 15 years, no regrets from either of us

[Tattooedfairy19]

Though I have never been married, @KatherineJ this take you have shared is right on the mark. Couldn't agree more with the view. Congratulations on the 10 years by the way.

[KatherineJ]

@Tattooedfairy19 thank you so much!

[Elliegirl]

I love my husband and I love being his wife too. It really is a daily effort, but it’s so worth it!

[KatherineJ]

@Elliegirl I think that’s what a lot of people don’t understand. A marriage takes work, and compromise, and a healthy sense of humor. With those things, all of the little annoyances tend to just go away.

[Elliegirl]

@KatherineJ so true!

[Sixgunsound]

Attention spans today are so short and demand for instant gratification of all desires so strong that many people are not capable of having a traditional marriage. This is by design of the left, which seeks destruction of the nuclear family. Humanity is dependent on strong women like you who are willing to do the work and be an example for all on how marriage is good and can be successful.

[Elliegirl]

@Sixgunsound thank you!

[Zeus_66]

That's great to hear that you and your hubby are good. I too am good with my wife. The problem is in the generations and personality. It isn't a man/woman thing.

[Rania05]

Yes, it isn't a man/woman thing but society make it seem as if it's. I'm happy for the poster having a good marriage life, 10 years is usually enough of fights and trouble to dump cold water on love and understanding at beginning.

[KatherineJ]

@Rania05 thank you. I think the way we get through those “fights” is by simple things like saying “I love you, but I’m angry/upset with you because of _____”.

[exitseven]

very nice. Marriage can be really good but it takes some work, maybe a lot of work.. Maybe it is not for the faint of heart.

[KatherineJ]

@exitseven anything worth having in life is going to take work! A marriage is definitely worth the effort.

[KelleyNice]

Thank you for an excellent post. It made my day.

[KatherineJ]

@kelleynice that’s very sweet! Thank you!

[andreasderjuengere]

Finally, a sane voice. I'm happy for you two :)

[KatherineJ]

@andreasderjuengere thank you so much! As far as being “sane”, that’s still in question.

[andreasderjuengere]

Heh heh. Report mental ''irregularities'' here, if you think fit :D

[Tracker1958]

Great article. My wife and I have been married for 45 years. My best advice to couples would be to, never take marriage advice from anybody that's hasn't been married for at least 35 years or more. That being said, dear, I agree with everything you said.

[KatherineJ]

Thank you so much! Trust me, I took my advice from my parents who were married for nearly 40 years.

[sheena30]

I read this, oh so sweet, it brought a tear to my eye, love you

[KatherineJ]

@sheena30 thanks girl!

[KrakenAttackin]

Well said. Unfortunately, you are the rarest of women.

[KatherineJ]

@KrakenAttackin no, I’m really not.

[KatherineJ]

@HighValue because your post, and your “I hate women” vibe are not welcome on that post. For the record, I removed one from an “I hate men” chick too.

[krin_m]

I loved reading this!

Thank you for sharing.

[KatherineJ]

Thank you @krin_m

[strateguy632]

you are the "pink who does not try to be boss" that is why it worked but for others she will get all feminisms. for men worry, need prenup so she won't take half my stuff.