Search Results: breaking up relationship

I'm very conflicted undergoing social anxiety complex trauma and depression and anorexia nervosa. Im very down. The last time I was so down was with 16 when I landed in the ER. It is really bad right now. I tried to explain my boyfriend I don't have any energy for our relationship but he had a good childhood he never experienced depression. He will never understand my behaviour and my pain.

he just reciting John legends: all of me. But this isn't it. He told me I should give him a chance and not break things and I opened up about everything I'm going through that's why I wanted to end things bc I'm afraid I make him down too. But when my life sort out I want to relive our relationship again.

Today he said: "I'm afraid you will break up you was distance"

Why can't he understand that this the fcking reason of course I love him and tell him but also I just need time for my own. I can't be a lover right now. Love us not a medicine. But everyone tells me: it is your sickness that speaks. But even though. I hurt him with the way I am because I won't be pretending anything. I don't know what to do. He told me if I break up now or of I insisted in a breaking pause it would not last. But what makes him so sure about thst? I just wonders if that is something because he deep himself thinks this relationship would not last anyway or if this a stated fact?

Recently I caught my boyfriend calling and texting a woman of his caste and I'm not of his caste. He told me he was frustrated with me that's why he went behind my back despite us patching up post 24 hrs breakup always. Now I asked the girl if they slept and she said that she met him on bumble and she said that he was asking for casual sex and nothing serious to which she said no. He said me that he was sorry to get distracted and that it naturally happened. He bdw blocks me badly whenever we fight instead of resolving. I love him but he was never romantic and never did anything special for me. Many times I felt he took me for granted but since we are together since 2 years in this relationship I have lots of feelings for him and he apologised to me that he is devoted to me and will never get distracted. Whenever I miss him and I cry to him, he never cries or gets emotional to have missed me if we haven't met him for many days. But he said me that whenever he was distracted after he broke up with me for like 24 hours, he said me that he tried to find me in another woman always and then he missed me and always came back to me. I have never ever broken up with him ever. ( We always patched up after 24 hrs by resolving post him breaking up with me many times) I don't really know if he is completely loyal to me because of this. I trust his words that he is loyal to me but him telling me that I should love him more when he gets distracted make me wonder if he really loves me or not.