I’m trying to understand if it was self-sabotage or if he truly wanted out of the relationship because of me?

fionaulrich

I was dating a guy for a few months and he told me he wanted something serious and long-term with me numerous times. He noted that his biggest insecurity was that the girl he was dating would find someone better than him and he was a pretty jealous guy, although he tried to act like he wasn’t that jealous. However, he was always suspicious of my guy friends and who I talked to when I would go out with my friends (mostly just girls). I never cheated on a boyfriend and he knew that about me, and I told him I wanted him to trust me and did as much as I could to reassure him. Instead of communicating with me when he was upset, he would often give me the silent treatment. He told me that he caught one of his ex girlfriends cheating on him so I know he had some trauma from that, but I found that no matter what I did or how much I tried to reassure him, he always had a wall up with me. A few days before I broke up with him, he jokingly asked me “why are you with me? im poor?” and even said that I was going to find another boyfriend. I honestly never knew what to say in these situations so I would just laugh and say what do you mean? I broke up with him a few days later because I couldn’t deal with his inability to be vulnerable with me, to put effort in, and to communicate when he would upset me. When I broke up with him, he acted indifferent almost and stated that he already felt it wasn’t going to work but he didn't have the “balls” to tell me before, but now that I was breaking up with him, he thought it was the right time to tell me. He also told me that it wasn’t working for him because he was always jealous. It sounded like complete BS to me, but I guess I just need a second opinion. Do guys sabotage because of their own insecurities or was there some truth to what he said? was it because of me?

I’m trying to understand if it was self-sabotage or if he truly wanted out of the relationship because of me?
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