Search Results: guy''s priorities

I told a guy friend that I've known for over 20 years that I liked him and how he makes me feel. He scares me, I trust him, he makes me nervous but yet calm and relaxed. He replied as it wasn't a bad thing but he didn't say anything more. We both are not ready for a relationship. We both need to work on ourselves after we both went through a hard breakup. We both have many things in common, likes, dislikes, trust, our children, priorities and so much more. We get each other. I felt a connection when we first kissed. I have never felt anything like this before with anyone I have ever been with. I told him so. We talked for 3 hours after this about anything and everything. In this conversation he warned me about getting rid of toxic people in my life. People who want to use me and only want me when they want something but when I need something. They aren't there. He said that he got rid of those people and his life is peaceful. He said I could still be friends but keep them at a distance and don't tell them everything. I asked if he was talking about a mutual person we both know. He neither denied or agreed. Yes we hooked up before this for almost 2 years and after this conversation.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT. I’m asking this bc i find it peculiar many people have this mind set & are bothered by someone providing pertinent data as if it is a decision. With so many playing games. I think honesty is refreshing.

Being upfront about personal relationship goals on the second date seems very early for some, for others it is just being efficient and not wasting time. Yea you can develop feelings for the person and perhaps give up stuff important to you, but I think many people don’t want to fall into that trap - which I understand.

I can see both approaches having merit. Being open free and seeing how things go not worrying about the future until you know how you feel is one technique tho probably best suited to 15-26 year olds or people for whom relationships are not a priority. Life keeps moving and while you’re seeing “how things go” with someone you may end up not wanting to be with bc turns out tho you fell in love, you want very different things— other people are meeting people they settle with who might’ve been a really good fit for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Being upfront knowing what you want sure saves a lot of hassle - tho not everyone reacts well. & perhaps what you want changes. I think with major things like sex or marriage it’s crucial to be on the same page. I understand bringing it up as early as possible it is very unlikely to change. You may agree to compromise, but it may be to the point either or both are miserable.

If a guy doesn’t tell me what’s important to him up front, that’s fine as long as it doesn’t Interfere with my ability to make an informed decision. Likewise, If he tells me straight up on say date two or three, that’s fine too —unless his actions betray his words. Then he’s not being upfront he’s being shifty.

But to be upfront, I would not see that as needy or desperate & I CERTAINLY not as indicative of having made up his mind about ME. 😂