What would you do in my situation? Am I making too big of a deal?

[Anonymous]

After years of dating people who were reckless with my feelings, I've finally met a nice guy. He's reliable, he values my feelings, he treats me like I'm a priority, and I enjoy spending time with him. The only issue is that he smokes a lot of pot, and I have never done it in my life. I just don't particularly like the scent or feel a desire to smoke anything. I don't like it when my clothes reek of it after I've been around someone who has been smoking it. He respects the fact that I don't smoke it, which I appreciate, but it worries me that he's so dependent on it.

I also worry about the future. I'm not sure I want to live in a house with someone who is constantly smoking it. Plus, if we ever got married and had kids, I don't want the kids thinking that it's okay to smoke (because I see it as a huge distraction that can get in the way of their success). At the same time, I don't want to give up the best relationship I've ever had because of this ONE thing.

What would you do in my situation? I'm not sure it's my place to tell him to stop smoking it.

[kylee2437]

Hmmm well my friend is in a situation like this also and I find that she’s often unhappy because she knows even if she wants him to stop smoking and has even talked to him about it, the bottom line is, is she can’t stop him from smoking. If I were you, I would try to get into the topic of what happens when he decides to have kids, how will he conduct his life from there? Because weed is expensive and the amount he spends on weed can go towards the kids and such , plus smoking around kids is a huge no. I think you should try to guide him towards that topic and that will give you your answer on whether you should date him or not

[Guy13]

You really have no idea what this guy is like if he is lit all day. It chills people out so that they manage their issues. I know a Bipolar guy who use it to self-medicate. It keeps those belligerent and scary ass emotional tantrums under control...

[kylee2437]

You are correct, but the issue with this also, is my friends boyfriend does this and it distracts him from getting necessary help for those issues. It’s more of a distraction than a cure.

[Guy13]

@kylee2437 Yes Mam... you are correct. A crutch which a personality women usually don't like to support like Momma did the rest of their life...

[kylee2437]

@guy13 agreed! My friend didn’t realize how bad her boyfriends anger issues are until she told him to smoke less since they have a child on the way. It’s pretty sad tbh

[Guy13]

@kylee2437 Yep, what a shame !!! Good thing that you do not need to "re-invent the wheel" !!

[es20490446e]

Smoking pot turns your slowly, but securely, into a plant.