If/ when someone is upfront with their own relationship goals on second date, do you assume this is because they already know they want to be with you?


Disclaimer: I DO NOT. I’m asking this bc i find it peculiar many people have this mind set & are bothered by someone providing pertinent data as if it is a decision. With so many playing games. I think honesty is refreshing.

Being upfront about personal relationship goals on the second date seems very early for some, for others it is just being efficient and not wasting time. Yea you can develop feelings for the person and perhaps give up stuff important to you, but I think many people don’t want to fall into that trap - which I understand.

I can see both approaches having merit. Being open free and seeing how things go not worrying about the future until you know how you feel is one technique tho probably best suited to 15-26 year olds or people for whom relationships are not a priority. Life keeps moving and while you’re seeing “how things go” with someone you may end up not wanting to be with bc turns out tho you fell in love, you want very different things— other people are meeting people they settle with who might’ve been a really good fit for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Being upfront knowing what you want sure saves a lot of hassle - tho not everyone reacts well. & perhaps what you want changes. I think with major things like sex or marriage it’s crucial to be on the same page. I understand bringing it up as early as possible it is very unlikely to change. You may agree to compromise, but it may be to the point either or both are miserable.

If a guy doesn’t tell me what’s important to him up front, that’s fine as long as it doesn’t Interfere with my ability to make an informed decision. Likewise, If he tells me straight up on say date two or three, that’s fine too —unless his actions betray his words. Then he’s not being upfront he’s being shifty.

But to be upfront, I would not see that as needy or desperate & I CERTAINLY not as indicative of having made up his mind about ME. 😂

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Yes. I think someone will ONLY tell me what they want bc they already decided they lwant to be with me forever and ever. Otherwise they would not say anything.
No. That is silly. I think people are upfront about their relationship goals in the same way one might be he upfront at a job interview. You dk if it will be a good fit but no point wasting time if you already KNOW.
I think it’s neither yes nor no. I think probably someone won't bring up stuff that matters to them if they can’t on some level imagine being with me, tho this in no way means they have decided or expect it work out. They may just think vaguely it’d be nice if it did.
If someone tells me exactly what they want early in I assume they are trying to scare me off 😱
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1 y
I see it as like me, being aware we dk at all if we will want to be together but don’t want to invest time & emotion if we already know it will not work bc we want different things.

I can appreciate some people are fine or prefer being in something “for the moment” or finding things out along the way.

I just do not understand seeing it as problematic or feeling pressured when someone is upfront. Just have the talk and carry on 🤷🏻‍♀️

in my opinion Honesty should be encouraged not shamed 🙂
If/ when someone is upfront with their own relationship goals on second date, do you assume this is because they already know they want to be with you?
37 Opinion