I told my friends that my boyfriend is a doctor. I can't explain the truth to them. I'm so embarrassed because my boyfriend is a waiter.
Why are you embarrassed?
Are you ashamed you lied to your friends to give some image of yourself to impress your friends for dating a "doctor" to impress them and think more highly of you, or are you competing with one of your friends who is dating an astronaut or the next person to walk on the moon, or wait, perhaps a real prince with royal blood?
Or are you actually embarrassed by his job. Him dealing with high snobbish people all day long that doesn't have manners and all of them think our sun shines out of their ass? And don't even tip? Yeah I truly feel for you. You must suffer so much because of that... It must be so hard for you?
Let me tell you something, I have done a lot of jobs in my life where just because of the job, people look down on you. Waiter, car guard, courier. You name it.. They don't care about the person you are, and you know what, everyone's shit stinks just as much as yours. So what makes you special? The guy at least works. He has a job. I bet every night he says , Man I got a good girl.. Meantime his girl is embarrassed?
Why are you even dating the guy? Why can't you explain the truth? What is stopping you? If it is the opinion of your friends leave your friends, they ARE NOT your friends then. If they are your friends they won't give a rats ass what he does for a living, unless all of you suffer from high society syndrome with your noses in the air, and the real truth is you actually fell for a lower class life form and don't want to admit it.
That's what waiters are right? If you really like this guy, it shouldn't matter to you what he does, and it wouldn't matter to your friends what he does. What matters is what he makes you feel. Grow a pair of ovaries and tell your friends listen, I am sorry, I lied about him being a doc but he is actually a waiter. And I really like this guy, and it would actually be fun if all of us could hang together. If you don't get a positive response from that, get new friends, or else stop calling him your boyfriend and continue searching for that doc you are dating..
I’m embarrassed you have such a fake, judgmental and superficial view on the world. You are placing social optics above all else. It’s disgusting female behavior. You make women look bad.
Also it’s not like you are introducing your new boyfriend to your parents. These are just your friends. And this guy must have something else going for him or you wouldn’t be dating him right?
At the end the day you got absolutely zero right to judge any man’s occupation as long as 1) he’s fully independent 2) he’s not breaking the law and 3) he’s respectful to others.
If you are just dating this guy because he’s handsome and has a big D or something then just make him a friends with benefits not a boyfriend. I’m sure he won’t mind. But considering how you look down on him the point you care about what your friends think really makes you a selfish superficial POS.
By the way I am not a waiter. I have a white collar job and make 6 digits, own my own house and have traveled the world. But I wasn’t always like that. I put myself through college and worked plenty of “embarrassing” jobs to do it. I can still remember moping up vomit when I worked as a door man in college.
But I worked hard and made sacrifices to get where I’m at. Your boyfriend might have plans for a brighter future. If he doesn’t then well you made a decision to date him.
I really hope he dumps you soon. Seriously YOU are the embarrassment. You.
Yeah now I definitely know you are the toxic alpha male I was talking about in my other question
@NetherlandsNar please really just please quit proving me right. Really surprise me.
You think you are right which is fine.
Keep believing what you want. I don't care.
I know you have your own prejudices in different areas
@NetherlandsNar so you agree that what the QA is saying is wrong? At least when it comes to this one? She’s flat out saying that social optics are more important then respecting her boyfriend.
In some circles it's normal but I don't understand why she is dating a waiter if she's embarrassed about him?
It's clear she's trolling
@NetherlandsNar she’s not trolling. She really thinks this way.
and this about her “friends judgment”. It’s not like she’s presenting this guy as her fiancé to her parents. But even in that scenarios she’s still a grown ass woman who is at least 30. If she’s fixating on approval from others by that age it shows a deeper problem with her.
@NetherlandsNar he didn't say anything toxic or "alpha" he highlighted the factual reality of the situation. You are still young and clearly impressionable what you are being told by the women in your life is not healthy. Private relationships are meant to be private sharing information about them leads to the present situation the asker is talking about. She talked and lied about her private relationship and this invites people to share their opinions on her relationship.
@JacobJordan the QA was also saying that she “loved her bf”. Ah yeah. Sure. Maybe she does but she definitely loves her social optics more.
If she was under 22 I would semi expect this. But she’s over 30 and still worrying about optics. That’s a very serious problem and unacceptable.
Let's be real though she doesn't even love the guy. Anyone who has genuinely loved someone doesn't care what their friends think and doesn't lie about the person they love to their friends.
@JacobJordan exactly. He fulfills one of her “needs” well (he’s probably really good looking and/or good in bed). But she has much higher standards for who she really wants.
Well she best learn she is never going to get those "higher standards" no self respecting well off man would want someone like her. They can have a million other women who treat people well
@JacobJordan I wonder what SHE does as a living. I’m guessing it’s some sort of mid level professional job. She probably makes semi decent money but dreams about being married to a rich man so she doesn’t have to work anymore.
Doubt she’s a cocktail waitress.
If you are ashamed of your bf’s job then you are ashamed of him being your boyfriend because you have not accepted him the way he is. How can you be in a relationship with someone you are ashamed of. You don’t love you boyfriend. You are selfish for having him as your boyfriend, let him go so he can find someone that will accept him.
How would you like it if a boyfriend you had went behind you back telling his family and friends that your job was something else to impress others because he was embarrassed of you job, of you. If you found out your boyfriend had went behind and lied about you to him family and friends wouldn’t you think that your boyfriend doesn’t deserve you if he can’t accept you?
It is fine if you value the occupation your boyfriend has so just stop being a pushover and date someone you are completely accepting of. Even if he is ‘your only option’ then you can to make a full commitment to someone once you enter a romantic relationship.
Advice: you should explain the situation to your boyfriend and tell him that you told everyone you lied to about his job the real job he does (once you have told the truth to your fam/friends) if you want to keep the relationship. If you lied to multiple people about his job there is a 100% chance that once they meet your boyfriend and spend time with him that he will find out from them. You are going to cause a break up or major trust issues if you are not upfront with your boyfriend if you try to fix the situation before your boyfriend meets the people you know. You might cause a break up just telling your boyfriend that you lied to your family and that you fixed it but that is better than him finding out later from your family because then you will look more like a psycho.
If you’re that worried about what your friends think, then you need new friends.
I’m proud of my man for what he does, and he’s a janitor. There are enough people in this world who think they need to “put him in his place” because of his profession, and will gladly wipe their own shit on the bathroom walls to do so. But he can come home rest assured that he will never receive that kind of treatment from me.
People who work in the service industry and blue-collar jobs are just as worthy of respect as anyone else.
Opinion
50Opinion
What are you embarrassed that he is a waiter? That's a perfectly legitimate, and necessary job. Maybe you need to reconsider how/why he is your boyfriend.
If you stay with your boyfriend, just tell your parents the truth... that he's a waiter. If they ask why you said he was a doctor, tell him that was a mistake, and you apologize for it.
I’d be embarrassed to have a partner like you…
Seriously?
Send that waiter on my way, I know girls who’ll treat him nice, will love him and will be proud of him!
I am concerned about this post, honesty. Not judging you, rather I am upset about the possibility of you losing an amazing man just because you are for some snobby reason not content with his job…
Girl, I have dated millionaires, I have dated a farmer boy, I always proudly showed off the men I liked…
You know why?
Because HIM being by my side, means he’s fabulous enough to be by my side… That’s a prestige of its own…
I treat him with the utmost respect because he is by my side and I want everyone else to respect him the same way…
Not because of what he does for a living, but because he’s the male who’s mine, which means he is better than every other male for me and everyone who respects me, should respect that fact.
Once, I had a broke boyfriend, he was a waiter when he was young. Today, that man is in charge of one of the greatest companies of China, just at the age of 28. I am proud of who he has become but I was equally proud of him, when he failed on his way to the success.
While breaking up he told me “I am the man I am today, because of you.”
And tell you what, I’m proud, because he’s one hell of an amazing man, and I respect and cherish my memories with him. And everybody respected him, even when he was broke, because, his woman cherished him and respected him. You should be his cheerleader whether he is a waiter or a president.
You speak lot of shit
lol dump him he deserves better
Looks like you will be having an ex boyfriend soon
If you want a doctor you're wasting your time... and as you get older the odds of you being able to get a doctor drop quickly. After all, the doctor has his pick of women. He doesn't have to settle for a 35 year-old with kids or ANY problem being feminine/fitting into HIS plans. So you want to keep wasting time playing games or get what you want? Imagine if you were an athlete trying to get an Olympic gold medal. You're basically pretending to be training for the Olympics while watching Netflix all day, every day & eating ice cream. Do better.
I love my boyfriend
People who are ashamed of their partner/spouse are using them for something. You get something out of the relationship that you're unable to get elsewhere. Your lack of respect for the guy will eventually destroy the relationship because eventually he will realize what you really think and if he's half of a man he will not want to be in this situation.
Bull fucking shit. If you loved him you wouldn't have lied about his profession. You would have proudly stated he was a waiter. Instead you did 2 things you showed how self-centered you are by putting your feelings above the truth and second you showed that you care more about what others think of your private relationship than you care about your relationship. You are an awful girlfriend your boyfriend deserves far better. He deserves to be with someone that loves him for who he is. That is not you.
Wow at least he even has a job. I would be embarrassed to be with someone that is embarrassed of me just because of my job. I wouldn't judge based off of the job a person has but rather how they treat me and who they are as a person. In my opinion, if you really love him so you claim you wouldn't be embarrassed by his job and would be confident enough to tell your friends and family and not care if they have anything negative to say about it.
Her behavior is disgusting, isn’t it? I know not all women are like this but the ones that are just make me want to vomit. It’s not like she’s introducing this guy as her fiancé to her parents or something either. Her judgment is so gross.
@blueonblack22 I'm curious to know what her job is.
It’s most likely one of two scenarios:
1) she has menial job herself but thinks she’s entitled to “date up” because she’s attractive.
2) she has a professional job and this guy pushed a button on her somewhere. But apparently he didn’t push it hard enough.
One thing is for sure. She values her social optics/peer approval more than she really loves him. If she really did love him she would have never even thought about asking this disgusting question.
As for your relationship it’s off to a great start & being that it’s based off of a lie who knows what else you are lying about. I think you & your boyfriend should part ways so he can find someone who isn’t embarrassed because of his job & doesn’t have to lie.
If you’re embarrassed about that, he deserves better than you. How utterly superficial. Does he treat you right? Is he a gentleman? If so, that’s all that should matter. A man who is an honest, hardworking man is admirable and you should appreciate that. If not, break up with him so that he can be with a woman who truly appreciates him. Ewww, how dare you? 😑
What you describe is really a damned shame... on you! You say he is your boyfriend, but you are 'ashamed" to tell friends that he is a waiter? Why are you ashamed? You picked him, probably knew what he did for a living, and now are ashed of the guy?
The SHAME is you for being so spineless, as to say you are ashamed of what he does for a living.
This seems like the sort of thing that happens in 1990's sitcoms.
Next you'll convince your boyfriend to lie when he meets your friends, and say he's an orthopedic surgeon.
But then your friends will decide to go eat at the restaurant where your boyfriend works.
Hilarity ensues!
Good waiters can make a lot of money.. All those extra tips and whatnot.. Especially if he's a waiter at a good restaurant.. But, I mean if you were so embarrassed about his job, maybe you shouldn't have agreed to date him.. I get it's complicated and you probably feel bad for being embarrassed enough to lie about it.. But I mean... At least you could've told them that he worked for a restaurant.. Kept it vague for a while..
Ok look I was once in a similar position as you a few years ago. I used to know a woman who worked at a shitty fast food restaurant in the mall food court. She had a dead end job & was always angry at the staff but when I was there she would mellow out and calm down. Ironically enough though she had a boyfriend who drove a shitty beat up pickup truck rusted and red color. Nothing ever happened because it was just a bad situation and I couldn't see myself with someone who worked a dead end job like that
Fast food, restaurant, and especially retail stores are ALL dead end jobs that's the type of relationship you'll have if you're with someone like that who works those type of jobs. I would rather be with a woman who works for herself and doesn't make as much money working for herself then with someone who works a dead end job
Your shallow and should learn to accept others for who they are. A job doesn’t define people. So you think you are above waiters because you come from money? I feel sorry for people like you. All you poor bastards have is money.
Just tell him not to wear the outfit...
He may be a high end waiter making a plethora , I was a waiter at one point in an Italian restaurant , it was pretty full on , depends where he is working I guess.
If you’re that worried his job will influence how people see him, then maybe you should get into a crowd that’s less classist than whatever’s been influencing you to lie and say your boyfriend is a doctor.
Dump him. Do it after you introduce him to your friends. That way everyone knows what a jerk you are and if one of your friends is less of a jerk, she can have him and treat him with the respect every working man deserves.
If you belong to Kennedy's or Dupoint's clan or you're a member of Royal family, then I could understand but I guess you don't belong to them and I don't see any problem here.
Tell them that you broke up with the doctor, and now you are dating a waiter... LOL
Well number one you shouldn't lie dishonesty is not a good trade number two if you're embarrassed but your boyfriend's awaiter than you probably shouldn't be with him
Its sad that you're perspective is warped. Being a waiter is not an easy job. WHY would you undermine him? You're very selfish. Get over yourself
Loom who with any maturity lies lol 😂😆 now it's just awkward for the one who lied lol or lies ongoing hahahaha
Glad I'm so much more with it at 30 lol 😆 no simp here. me. lol 🕶️😎
*whom (not loom) lol 😆 even still my answer is epic and honest 😂
What is embarrassing about being a waiter? They serve food & drinks to people who are hungry & thirsty at places that serve food.
Tell them that as a doctor he is full of germs, bacteria and blood when he comes home.
So they cannot meet him for their own protection.
And you as well, for that matter :)
Seems you are in the market for new friends. He doesn’t deserve to be put through a breakup when he did nothing wrong. And your friends deserve better than to be close to a liar. Better yet, let him go and your friends as well. You deserve neither.
You should live your life honestly and stop worrying about the approval of others
There’s more to having a boyfriend than impressing your friends. Get over yourself.
Tell them they will have to "wait" to do that.
Haha nice one! 😂
You should probably start out with a private apology to him then later tell your friends about your deception. It looks very poorly on you.
m Have him wear a stethoscope around his neck and offer all the ladies free breast exams. Everyone is happy! 😬
You should be ashamed of yourself. He's not a drug dealer or a criminal. He works hard and thinks you care about him and are proud of him. How wrong he is. You're 🗑️
Decide who is more important to you then, your boyfriend or your friend? because you're going to lose at least one of them if they meet!
You're in your 30s and still living in highschool I don't know what to tell you.
Break up with him. This guy deserves a woman who will accept him for who he is, without any artificial enhancements.
Then get a doctor boyfriend if your embarrassed maybe you shouldn't be with him.
You are the one that blew it by lying. Being a waiter is nothing ymto be ashamed of. Maybe he is happy doing it. That is all that matters.
You are a liar trying to avoid the consequences of their actions. You are too old to act like a child.
My gosh. Have you seen the tips that waiters and waitresses are getting, especially in the brunch restaurants, for th work involved?
u r wasting the poor guy's time
leave for good
Tell him so that he can dump you and find someone better who can appreciate him. I'm not normally that cold, but this is beyond shallow. I mean, who exactly are you?
You should introduce them in a setting that showcases what you like about him that isn't his job. Surely he has pluses that make you date him outside of his starter job.
i would have taken this question seriously if you hadn't put that ridiculous picture on it
If you're embarrassed, you should not be with him, I suggest you leave so he can find someone who actually appreciates a hard working man. Shame on you for being embarrassed.
So you lied to your friends?
Not a great start.
Why would you lie in the first place? And how dare you ask people here to help you construct other lies around that one xD
If your friends judge him or you because the guy works, they are not worth having around.
Does he know you're embarrassed by his job? You should tell him.
TBH, I would just tell them the truth because I mean, they’re your friends. If you tell them that he’s a waiter and they make fun of him for being one, then those people aren't your friends.
Also, you shouldn’t be embarrassed that your boyfriend is a waiter. It’s a perfectly good job and at least he was one.
Who gives a f# what she thinks? If he treats you good then she should be happy for you.
He should dump you. You’re a pos. What do you do for a living?
Sooner or later they will find out. Just tell me from the beginning.
Dump him. He deserves to be with someone who isn't embarrassed by him.
If a guy works at a fancy restaurant as a waiter I think he should be the one that's embarrassed because his girlfriend is a jobless bum.
Waiters have a certain gay-ness to them.
Lose the loser.
Your friends sound like misandrists
Break up with him you are a horrible person
Gotta serve somebody.
Then why are you with him
This is a certified woman moment.
Seems like you're the embarrassment here
Hahahaha that's pretty funny
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