Search Results: i feel used

I've been thinking, and I've come along a train of thought which holds not wanting to ask for help as a culprit for a ton of issues I've faced in the past.

As a guy, there is a desire to not rely on others for help and to handle things alone, but this is a dangerous idea as it encouraged me to step outside my lane out of a desire to prove I can handle it.

This is a huge barrier to progress as a desire to handle things alone doesn't mean I will succeed, it just means I need to step back and humble up, ask the right questions, have an experienced person handy, and then maybe.

But this "I gotta do it alone", that needs to stop. While I don't intend to rely on others, I do intend to educate myself more, explore my natural skillsets while gaining new ones, and knowing my place.

One instance where I felt ashamed to accept help was last year when I was hospitalized for a serious lung infection which came as a result of my alcohol problems leading to being taken off Trikafta, a medication for my Cystic Fibrosis which has done nothing less than give me a new life.

Now alcohol is gone, Trikafta is back, coughing and labored breathing are gone, too. But in the hospital, I recieved IV antibiotics, but the IV machine kept on stopping.

Not wanting to keep bothering nurses when all I needed was the IV machine to go back to working, I asked one nurse how to fix it, so I wouldn't be such a burden on the staff.

She giggled and playfully hit me with a newspaper, she was right, those liberties aren't mine to take, the whole reason I was sick, at all, is because I was an irresponsible mess who drank more rum than Jack Sparrow.

This issue was fixed by a PICC line being inserted in me, which I used to finish my rounds of antibiotics and from there, I changed my life but I still feel ashamed to keep hitting the call button when I just needed the machine to work again.

Have you felt ashamed to ask for, or accept assistance from others?