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I've made a lot of progress with my understanding of women recently. Progress that I'm quite proud of. Taking the time to understand how you think and see things helped me appreciate you all a lot more. But it also made me even more irritated with you in a couple key ways.
Chief among them.. your utter incompetence when it comes to describing the traits you want to see more of in men, specifically when you try to use examples of men that you think we should be more like.
Aragorn from the Percy Jackson movies?
Mr. Rogers? Lol. Fuckin really?
First of all, let's be honest, those of you who claim to like Aragorn don't actually like Aragorn. You like Viggo Mortensen. So already that example is suspect. Not all of us can have a jaw and chin handcrafted by El-Shaddai himself. We're looking for traits that make us more attractive that we can fucking help.
Second of all.. and I can't believe I have to ask this.. can we have a show of hands, please? How many of you are actually itching to bang Mr. Rogers? Let's see them?
None of you? Okay.
THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU BRING HIM UP IN THESE DISCUSSIONS?
Look I get it. You're trying to communicate that you want to feel safe.. and that you need to feel safe in order to feel attracted.
I just don't understand what's compelling you to use examples of men that you either don't want to fuck at all.. or men who you do want to fuck for completely different reasons.
What made it click for me was characters like Astarion from BG3, or Alastor from Hazbin.. characters who are considered sexy by their respective communities because of their ability to exude both charm and safety at once.
If I were never introduced to those characters and only had the shitty examples you all put forth to go by, I'd still be bitter and confused.
Instead I'm just confused that you all have the communication abilities of a squash.
Excuse me for not being a fucking dweeb 🙄
What Girls Said
Let me give you a basic rundown so maybe you can stop being a dick about it:
Women do not feel comfortable making sexual connections without first making emotional ones. Men are the opposite, feeling uncomfortable with emotional connections without the existence of a sexual one. Don’t lie to women just to fuck them. If that’s all you want, pay for it or take the time to make a vetting process to find a woman who’s turned that off.
Well yes of course emotional stimulation comes first with women.
But the implication there would be that women can't be sexually attracted to a man immediately from his behavior.
Let's not even begin to entertain that, hm?
The key is to blend safety with charm and edge. But most discussions about attracting women don't actually spell that out and it leads to a lot of guys getting needlessly confused (like I used to be).
Sometimes guys literally just want to be attractive to women without either jumping through hoops or having to settle for ONS material.
I guess I can kind of understand why women wouldn't want guys to be seductive. But I also see women complaining that guys don't listen to what women say they want even though they're not being given anything to listen to.
Just.. priorities holy shit.
I really wouldn’t let fictional characters hold much stock in your ideas of what women want, women may enjoy the fantasy of a dangerous man but most recognize that the tropes that get them wet in dark smut is disgusting irl
So are you wanting actual help or are you just bitching?
I'm looking for a justification for incompetence.
If you want clarity in getting chewed out for said incompetence, I do have a MyTake on the list for it. Don't you worry.
Now then..
.. what's so hard about using examples that actually emphasize what women lust over?
It isn't hard, you just misunderstand what we are telling you. Like with your examples of aragorn and Mr. Rogers.
Aragorn is rugged, polite, caring and understanding. He isn't afraid to fight and kill for those he loves.
Mr rogers is polite, calm toned and even tempered. He understands whimsy and the simple things in life.
It isn't that we want to fuck Rogers or just like vigo. It's we like the characteristics they embody.
Indeed you do.
But many men, myself included at one point, couldn't help but notice the disparity between those qualities and the kinds of men women typically desire.
The proper examples would be those which are able to exude safety in spite of their inherent danger.
Hence, Astarion.
Hence, Azazel.
But instead of focusing on examples that explain the concept of a dangerous but still safe man, you instead choose to focus on examples that only cover the safety aspect?
And then you wonder why you're losing young men to Tate.
His rhetoric is toxic, and I do believe that. But at least it lines up with what men observe. Women on the whole seem allergic to explaining things that line up with what we see you do when it's actually incredibly simple.
Alastor* not Azazel lol
Many tend to focus on the safer ones because we have been fooled before by false safety that became abusive. So the idea of safe but dangerous, seems more dangerous than it actually is. And many also gravitate to the dangerous or shitty, because while they are bad, they offer a sense of safety against worse people. Does it make sense? Not really, but that's how the mind works.