Stop trivialising mental disorders

[itsallover]

'OMG she looks anorexic, she really needs to eat'

'He's so bipolar'

'I think I'm starting to become OCD'

You may be familiar with some of these statements and heard people say things along the lines of them, or you may even be guilty of saying things like this yourself. Even I was at one point.

But I realised that myself, and others, were doing something wrong by saying these things so flippantly and casually. Statements like the ones above essentially trivialise serious mental illnesses, for example anorexia, bipolar disorder, depression and OCD to name a few, into simple adjectives to describe behaviour or traits that although straying from the norm, are not necessarily because of a mental disorder, nor should one assume that they are.

Take the bipolar statement as an example. Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, is described as the cyclic intermission between 'manic' (extreme elated mood) and 'depressive' (extreme low mood) episodes. Both types can last from a few days up to months. To be considered a mental disorder, these episodes must interfere with a person's (and the people around them's) wellbeing and ability to complete day to day tasks. Someone who simply may randomly slip into different moods does not have bipolar disorder, it's a simple aspect of human nature that our mood does not stay constant at all times, mood changes in some are just more extreme in others.

The main reason why I encourage people to avoid using mental disorder to label normal behaviour like this is because it is insulting to actual suffers of these conditions. These mental ailments have consumed and governed their lives to the point of suicide for some of them, seeing it as the only way to escape. They did not CHOOSE to be this way, and using mental disorders like adjectives insinuates that they made a conscious decision to be mentally ill, when that is not the case. A person with depression is not purposely in a permanently bad mood. Abnormal neuroanatomy or brain chemistry, a traumatic and devastating life event or even genetics could contributed to them developing the illness, all things which are totally out of their control. They feel trapped and want to live normally, but short of treatment and therapy they cannot do that.

I hope I shed some light on this issue with this take, and that this will lead some of you thinking before you self-diagnose people or use mental illnesses in a casual manner. Think of those who actually have the disorders, and think of how they would feel about their lives being trivialised into a mere word.

Thanks for reading :)

[CityBoy773]

Good take and I understand it fully.
I have depression and Gender Dysphoria, which is hell trust me, my friend has anxiety problems, I knew a kid with bipolar disorder (had some really scary moments in elementary school). That's why I have been trying to stop using those words, but I live in a time where its almost common so its kind of hard but I've gotten significantly better.

When you are someone with the mental disorders or are close to people with them, nothing about them is funny anymore. Especially if it's a really bad issue.

[itsallover]

Exactly, It's hard to stop, but I'm making a conscious effort to.

Thanks for reading :)

[9mfeo]

Something to add to that: worrying about something a little is not an anxiety attack. Being startled is not having a panic attack. If you haven't gone through what it feels like to have a severe anxiety disorder, then you have no idea how painful and exhausting it is.

[itsallover]

Definitely, I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have an anxiety disorder.

[pnl86]

I'm with @muspelhem_5 on this one.

As someone who has had and overcame anxiety and depression, I can safely say that "understanding" is great, but "hyper-sensitivity" by outsiders is destructive.

A purely "cognitive" (i. e., thinking) mental disorder is something that people can and should put in the time and work into fixing.

Things like "bipolar" or "schizophrenia" are different. Those are "physical" mental disorders where the physiology and brain chemistry of the brain are off. These disorders are truly "beyond the control" of the patient, and need medication in order to help stabilize the patient.

Sometimes, people who have "physical" mental disorders are so "not in control of themselves" that they don't even realize they have a mental illness, and therefore, refuse to seek help or get the proper treatment (or, start with a course of treatment, and then as soon as they're temporarily feeling better, STOP the treatment and start going off the bandwaggon again).

I have "understanding" for people with a mental illness, but I only have "sympathy" to the extent that people are doing the most they reasonably can to help themselves. I don't have any "sympathy" for people with an, "I can't" mentality - not even people with depression. I've been there, I know what it's like - yes you can.

[26ukdude]

You don't seem to understand, you are implying that someone with depression can help themselves, even if the illness prevents them from doing that (thats why it's called an illness). A lack of serotonin and other chemicals is also a physical problem, it's a physical imbalance or specific neurons. You may well have been there... but not to the depths that others have. And before you claim you were suicidal or had severe depression, good for you, but everyone is different and some people can barely get out of bed, let alone do anything else. But you call that being lazy and not helping themselves right?

[26ukdude]

Although, after thinking about this, you are differentiating the neurotic disorders (depression, anxiety, OCD) from the psychotic (schizophrennia etc)

[pnl86]

Duke, my mother-in-law is a psychiatrist, in fact, the Chief of psychiatry at a major hospital in NYC. When we all talk about how our day at work was, she's the only one that can rightfully turn around and say, "crazy." So, if we're done trying to qualify ourselves and measure d*cks in terms of understanding psychiatry...

What "causes" the lack of serotonin is a person's "thinking," not (e. g., some antagonist blocking the receptors, or "lack of hardware"). Now, there could be issues with the pituitary gland, or someone's sleep-cycle could be low, or a vitamin (D) deficiency, etc. But generally speaking, depression is a problem with "thinking," the way someone things.

Before they know it, they've developed a pattern of "emotional reasoning" ... "I should feel sad, therefore, let me physically behave like someone who is sad would behave," and shortly thereafter... "I actually feel sad, so I should be behaving like someone who feels sad."

[pnl86]

That's the root and core of all depressive thinking.

The biggest hurdle to suicide is "pain." That's why most people don't have the stomach for it. I've had access to syringes (to bleed out) and Schedule I medications (if I wanted to OD on narcotics). I thought about suicide every day for two years, at least once a day, sometimes even while out with friends or having sex. I've gone through the uncontrollable crying, through the 18-hour sleep days, through the lethargic way of being.

At some point, "all EXCUSES aside," someone has to look at themselves and think, "wait a second... this isn't NORMAL... this isn't how life is supposed to be... this isn't how I am supposed to feel."

And when they think that way, they should DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, even if it's to ask a friend to drag them on a wheelchair to go see a therapist

And that therapy can't last like 1-3 sessions and then STOP... no... it has to go on for 48+ sessions

[pnl86]

The biggest "trap" or "prison" people with depression find themselves in... is that they are sometimes people who (prior to depression) were looking for the "easy way out" or a way to "give up on life."

So, "after" depression hits, when society starts having "blind sympathy" and "limitless understanding" for people with depression, it does these people more harm than good. Often times, people with depression NEED that tough love, they NEED someone to smack them across the face and FORCE them to take action to snap out of it.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is insulting for them to use those words like that. At least they think those conditions are real, they just don't understand those conditions very well. If people can't see a medical conditions, then they tend to not understand it. Much like how the guy on here that claimed they are made up. People saying they are a little OCD at least shows they understand OCD is a real thing, which is a lot better than thinking OCD is made up.

I have asthma and know several people that still claim asthma is all in peoples heads, and they even try to throw the "Then why hasn't anyone ever died from asthma?" line in my face quite often, despite the fact that people have died from it.

I even know people that developed rheumatoid arthritis and were in so much pain they couldn't hold a pen, and were accused of just being lazy. Overall people just need to be educated about conditions that effect others, but that we can't physically see.

I personally would much rather someone not understand asthma and say "I got winded really easy. I must have a touch of asthma." Than to have them believe I am imagining my disease. If anything I see those types of comments as progress that people are starting to understand they are real illnesses.

[itsallover]

I understand where you're coming from, but the way they recognise those conditions as being real is counterproductive, as they're downplaying how serious they are in the process, as I address in this take. People should not give themselves or others diagnoses that they do not have. It IS insulting to the people who have to truly battle with these disorders, as it's insinuating that it's something that a high proportion of the population has to deal with. When it really isn't.

[Opinion Owner]

It isn't meant as an insult, and I don't believe most people with those conditions take it as an insult. Its usually just ignorance, and I think most people with those conditions understand that. I think most people with these conditions come to terms with the fact that others can't fully understand what it is like, as well as accepting that people tend to over exaggerate things in order to explain something. Saying "I am a little OCD about this" lets people know what the speaker is like on that issue, much like how someone that says "I am blind without my glasses" lets people know there eye sight is really bad. I don't think most people are going to be offended by this. Normally the people most offended are people that don't have these issues and are just overly afraid of offending someone else, and not the people that actually have the conditions.

[itsallover]

No I actually have acquaintances and friends with mental issues who dislike when people talk about disorders in this way, so it's not me getting offended for them. I don't think it's your place to determine what people with these disorders get offended by, to be honest.

[GreatnessPersonified]

"I don't think it is insulting for them to use those words like that."

After handling a suffer, I can tell you they take everything as an insult. You can't say 'hi' to them without them going off sometimes.

[Opinion Owner]

Handling a suffer of what? It seems to me that would depend on their condition. Most people won't be offended. Quite frankly if they are that bad, then it makes no sense even worrying about offending them sense they will be offended anyway.

We can't go through life worrying about offending everyone, when no matter what we do will surely offend someone. While I support being polite, at some point it is the responsibility for the other person to grow some thicker skin. In fact someone could even be more offended that you think they are too weak to handle something small like that, than they are about you not understanding their medical condition.

[Opinion Owner]

South park has two crippled kids in the show. People flooded them with complaints as soon as they were introduced. Those complaints were from healthy people that were afraid of offending others. Then the creators of the show got flooded by letters from people that were actually crippled. Crippled people tended to love the characters, because those characters were being treated just like any other kid, and no one was assuming they were too weak to handle being treated like any other kid on the show.

You never know what will offend someone, and what they will respect. If you do hurt someone, then just apologize and move on with your life, and let them deal with being offended. It makes no sense going through life pretending like others are made of glass and that you could hurt their feelings so easily.

[LightsOff]

Yep. Cannot stress the "anorexic" one enough to be honest, what with people throwing that word around whenever they see a Victoria's secret model. People think that anorexia (or any eating disorder) is just a look. Like you don't have anorexia unless you're super thin and your bones show. What people SHOULD realize is that there are PLENTY of people with anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS who are at an average weight, or are even overweight. That's why you can't LOOK "anorexic" since literally anyone can have anorexia. I also hate how people label any person who looks even slightly underweight "anorexic". As if you can't be thin without being mentally ill.

[itsallover]

Exactly! People seem to think anorexia is a body type.

[musicbrain5]

Great take. Another couple of terms that I hate hearing so casually are:

1) Retard or retarded. I hate that the term is used so flippantly and also as a pejorative word to insult people. Using that word the way it is often used negatively affects people who have real cognitive neurological impairments and it makes light of the whole thing.

2) As @9mfeo stated: "omg I have anxiety!!!" over something small that isn't a big deal in the long run. I have general anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I haven't had a panic attack in about 4 or 5 years, and it's not something I want to experience again if I can help it. People who flip out and say they're having a panic attack because there's a bee in their bedroom or something are being completely over dramatic. Small things like that don't bring this on.

[9mfeo]

I also have GAD. Panic attacks are much better since I have been in therapy but I'm by no means cured.

[itsallover]

Omg yes, I forgot to mention the 'retard' term. I've thankfully only had a panic attack once, and it was genuinely one of the worst experiences of my life, so my heart truly goes out to you and anyone who has/had to deal with them regularly.

Thanks for your input :)

[Sara413]

Good Take! It's true - we really need to stop trivializing other peoples' suffering like that. I know I'm guilty of it - I actually just used the line "I'm super OCD about -thing" in another answer here only moments ago. I'm an asshole. I should have known better.

The "she looks anorexic" one has always bothered me a lot, especially because my best friend is naturally very skinny and when she gets stressed out her body tends to shed even more weight, and she's overheard people calling her anorexic and stuff and it's super hurtful. She takes care of her body, she just cannot seem to keep any weight on no matter how hard she tries.

[Sara413]

Also, as someone who battled clinical depression for 5+ years of my life, it really pisses me off when people use the word "depressed" in place of "sad" or "very sad". Sadness is not the same as depression FFS. Half the time when I was depressed I didn't even feel sad - I felt NOTHING, which is so much worse. At least when you feel genuinely sad, you feel alive.

[Anonymous]

OMG! I absolutely agree with you! I suffer from depression and anxiety myself (diagnosed) and I built up my courage to tell about it to a friend (it's hard for me to tell about my problems to others, even friends) and her response was "Well I'm sure I have it too. How am I not yet diagnosed with it? I have problems too." I just shaked my head... People think it's a good thing or they think they can relate to it while all I want is just a shoulder to cry on when I tell them what's going on in my life.

[Ozanne]

Good take! And while we're on the subject, why not eliminate all the herpes jokes too? You never know who you're talking to when people think they're being cute when they make references about someone having herpes or AIDS and they don't even know what they're talking about. STIs are deeply personal, and not something people even remotely care to share with anyone as far as their partner as much as someone with a mental illness who is likely to share their information with maybe a few more people.

So often I cringe when people say stuff like "he looks like he's got AIDS" or makes some joke like, "how come no guy will go out with you, you got herpes?" -- because the reality is if they don't, someone who overhears this nonsense just might have an STI and will be made to feel pretty shitty about it when contracting it in the first place was likely not even their fault.

[d20samurai]

Self diagnosing yourself or others to excuse unreasonable behaviors is bailing out on the opportunity to address personality hypocrisies with dignity and respect.

To be diagnosed with a mental disorder is not an open invitation to justify their deficiencies or even worse--to parade them as if they were broken trophies. To do so is to take power away their ability to overcome their own adversities.

On the flip side, it is demeaning and destructive to diagnose someone else with a disorder simply because they vaguely claim to display one or two traits associated with it. It is detrimental to the well-being of someone's psyche to be accused of being broken--especially when there may be another deeper problem at hand.

I appreciate your take on this, and I hope everyone reads this and thinks on it critically before they start to sling these terms out.

[John_Doesnt]

Thank you, it's about fucking time someone stood up for us. I've been living with bipolar since the age of 14 and dealing with the illness on it's own is bad enough. But having to deal with people who don't think it's an actual illness makes things worse.

[MusicMayhem]

The problem is mental disorders aren't understood by most so the thought of someone saying to them I have clinical depression and anxiety and i
often think of suicide etc is going to freak them out. They dont know how to respond so they just doubt its severity or make a joke out of it. Getting responses like that pissed me off so much after I'd spent months agonising over how to tell someone.

[SIGguy]

That's the reason so many people are harmed by the mentally ill.

[MusicMayhem]

Well its probably more poor coping mechanisms like resorting to drugs and alcohol but it certainly does no good to their sense of value

[GreatnessPersonified]

Living with someone who has bipolar, I can tell you it's not trivial matter.
The reason people say that is 1) they don't know what it truly is or, 2) don't care.

Side note: I know it's not medical fact, but I think bipolar is contagious. With the stress and uncertainty that comes with handling a suffer of it, it makes it hard to stay sane yourself.
So get yourself a therapist as well.

[VampireEmpress]

I've heard b12 deficiency play a role in bipolar.

[muspelhem_5]

I used to agree, then I got a sense of humour.

[pezzonovante88]

That's right. Good take.

[tenofthepeaks]

most are made up.

[itsallover]

How exactly are they made up?

[tenofthepeaks]

they're based on not following social norms. which is kind of dopey.

[SIGguy]

And the ones who shot up movie theaters, schools, and recruiting centers are those who don't follow social norms?

[tenofthepeaks]

because not following social norms is something many do... so 99% of people are mentally ill lol.. that's nice.