The Stigma Of Having A Mental Illness.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

"Oh my god I'm sooo OCD!" -Perfectionsits aren't OCD

"I'm so nervous for my SAT! My anxiety ______." -Nervousness isn't anxiety.

"I'm so sad! My dog died. Now my depression ________." -Sadness isn't depression.

I don't understand why having a mental illness is something that's wanted.

I have anxiety and depression, I don't want either of them. You can have it!

Living with depression causes me to not be a normal teenager. I don't hang out with my friends outside of school often, I don't message them often, I've never been on a date either. There's so many things I haven't been able to do because of depression.

Depression caused by my father resulted in me self harming. Which eventually led to me being suicidal. Depression isn't something a normal person would wish upon themselves if they knew exactly what having depression means.

When it comes to anxiety, it's different for everyone. But for me, I can't breathe, there's a weight on my chest, my throat feels like I'm choking, my hands shake and I wanna cry. Anxiety causes me to not even be able to order my own food at a resteraunt for fear of messing up a word. Whenever we go to McDonalds I have to whisper to my mom what I want and hope she tells the person my order.

Do you want attention? Just talk to people.

Don't you have depression when you're just sad.

Don't say you have anxiety when you're just nervous.

Don't say you have OCD when you just are a perfectionist.

These things are not simple to live with.
Some people can't even pee untill they count 5 metal objects or they can't go to sleep unless they take 20 steps and see 3 blue things.

It's odd, yes, but that's what it's like to have OCD.

If you really have depression, I'm sorry. I know the struggle, I'm here to help, and I love you. <3

If you have anxiety, I'm sorry. I love you. <3

If you have OCD or PTSD or Schizophrenia or Bi-Polar or Aspergers or Bulimia or Anorexia, I'm sorry. I love you guys. <3

[LovelyComputerVirus]

My OCD causes me to shower 3 times per day, not be able to sleep at night because I have to go to sleep at the "right time", and I have to count everything in sets of 37, 14, 5, 15, 41, or 77. If I'm driving and see 6 blue cars I have to keep counting until I see 14 and then 15 and then 37... If I leave off at a wrong number then it makes me have anxiety attacks... I know that it's irrational, but I can't stop... Everyone says things like "that's not what OCD is like" or "just stop counting everything" or "what's the big deal" and it just makes me want to scream. Once I started crying because 4 people said something critical about my OCD and if it had been 1 more, it would have been one of my numbers. :/

[Catalie]

Wow that must be hard. The worst my OCD has gotten was when everything had to be the number 6. I would say something like, "Hi! How are you?", and then I would have to repeat it quietly 5 more times under my breath to make it said 6 times. I don't do that anymore, but now I have these weird OCD rituals. I have this weird thing that I have to do in order to go to bed. Like I have to look at my wall and blink, then over at my mirror and blink, then back and my wall and blink. Then I have to tap my wall and blink, then run into my bed as fast as I can and blink, then turn out the light and blink. People ask me why I can't just "not do it", but it's like, I can't just not do it. I have to or else I'll start panicking.

[orphan]

@Catalie i did shit like this when i was a teen. i had to go through a ritual before i'd sneak outta the house. involved asying certain things to my dog n what not.. and walking out of the house a certain way.

it still creeps up on me sometimes when i'm walking and i pass by a pole on a certain side i'll think to myself "if i don't go around that pole the proper way i'll die"

most of the time i'll go outta my way to walk back around the pole... other times i've said fuck it and don't bother.

[Waffles731]

This always bugged me.
If any other part of your body has problems you get sympathy.
But if your very mind has an illness no one cares

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Exactly. The same for self hate too though.

You wouldn't hate yourself for inheriting diabetes or aspergers, why hate yourself for inheriting BP or OCD?

[Catalie]

I have OCD, Asperger's, and mild anxiety.

OCD: The worst my OCD has gotten was when everything had to be the number 6. I would say something like, "Hi! How are you?", and then I would have to repeat it quietly 5 more times under my breath to make it said 6 times. I don't do that anymore, but now I have these weird OCD rituals. I have this weird thing that I have to do in order to go to bed. Like I have to look at my wall and blink, then over at my mirror and blink, then back and my wall and blink. Then I have to tap my wall and blink, then run into my bed as fast as I can and blink, then turn out the light and blink. People ask me why I can't just "not do it", but it's like, I can't just not do it. I have to or else I'll start panicking.

Aspergers: It makes me literally throw tantrums like a 2 year old, I'll start screaming at random times, and I say things without thinking. This is mainly around my family. I can pretty much control it in public. The worst thing for me is that I can't feel empathy for other people. No matter how hard I try to "put myself in their shoes", I just can't. I also laugh at the wrong times. If someone just got hurt, I'll start laughing; not because it's funny, but because that's how my body handles bad situations. Then, people will tell me that I am being mean even though I don't actually think it's funny.

Anxiety: I get anxious at everything. Especially in social situations. Not necessarily in the social situations themselves, but after. Let's say I went to a brunch or something from 10:30-12:00. Then, it ruins my entire day. From 12:00 until, well, halfway through the next day, ALL I can think about is what I said to the people and what they said to me. I ponder everything, "What could I have said differently?" "She said no when I asked her that. What does that mean?" "Am I becoming friends with her or is she just being 'fake nice'?" It is the only thing that I can think about. I know that I can't change the past and what was said was said, but I still can't help but think about it for every waking moment (or even in my dreams sometimes).

[vonasaurus]

i have severe anxiety, and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

cosmo ran an article last year called "anxiety attack hacks", with regard to dealing with temporary nerves. and i remember feeling insulted that the writer had just thrown that word around, with no regard for what it really means.

what a panic attack feels like for me: my heart rate speeds up, i have trouble breathing, and it feels like i'm suffocating. sometimes, i can't talk at all, and my mind just shuts down.

there are times when my other half is able to calm me down. but, most often, all i remember is the start of the panic attack and later sitting up in my bed~ everything in between is blank.

after 20+ years without, i'm now on meds for both anxiety and depression. still, i rarely leave the house now and often feel overwhelmed if i'm out for more than a few hours. sometimes, i have to talk myself through it ("you're okay, only 15 more minutes until you're home") or, at a party, i'll hide in the bathroom/spare bedroom/whatever for a few minutes, if i need to decompress.

some days, i'm totally normal. others, i won't leave my house for weeks on end. but, even though i have good and bad days, i'm human at the end of it all. the few people in my life who know about my anxiety understand this, and they try to be as supportive as they can.

i really hate when people say, "oh, just exercise more", "think positive", or "stop eating xyz". oh, i see... then do you have any empirical evidence that positive thinking is more effective than my medication? are you an expert in my condition? no? then leave me alone.

unfortunately, there is still too much stigma and not enough support around mental illness. they're not glamorous, or something to aspire to; they're monsters that ruin one's quality of life. so why we (as a society) are promoting depression, anxiety, and the like to vulnerable people on the goddamn internet, i will never understand.

to those of you who are struggling, you are not alone. i love you all, and i only hope that we can put an end to the ignorance one day.

<3 :)

-von

[Sad_Onion]

as someone who suffers from PTSD, depression and alcoholism i truly feel your pain. I think true depression is one of the worst things anyone can go through.

I used to be the type of person who viewed depression and addiction as things that could be overcome by sheer will power. I distinctly remember saying to someone that they were depressed because they didn't make an effort to go out, and that their addiction was a lack of will power. wow, did those words ever come back to haunt me!

my story goes back to 2009 when i first came home from a tour of duty in afghanistan. I was part of the MERT (medical emergency response team) and i saw horrendous things. back then ii was unfazed by it all (or so i thought) and took it in my stride. It wasn't until i completed my second tour in 2011and i left the army when things started to get bad.

My social life went down hill, my drinking got really bad, i was having panic attacks and i couldnt sleep. to cut a long story short, this is still going on to this day. I have no friends, its a struggle to get out of bed in the mornings and i fear having to go outside.

I went to the dr a few weeks ago and he wants me to have counciling and take all sorts of drugs, but i dont want to. i want to recover without taking meds.

seriously, i wish depression and mental illness didn't have this stigma attached to it. its one of the reasons i didn't seek help sooner, i was scared to.

i used to be fit and physically healthy. i was ripped with a 6 pack and was able to tab (a military term for forced march) 12 miles with 40 kgs on my back. i was the life of the party with a lot of friends and had problem getting the girls.

im now over weight and rarely leave my bedroom. i drink at least 2 bottles of wine every night and genuinely fear having to leave the house. this is coming from an ex corporal who has 8 years of service and 2 gruelling tours of afghan under his belt.

[Sad_Onion]

thats supposed to say "had no problem getting the girls"

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Wow, I almost cried tbh.
I'm really sorry hun, if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me. <3

[Sara413]

I totally feel you on not wanting to take mess, but it may be worth taking them just to stabilize yourself so that you have the strength to do the real work of healing. Be firm with your Dr that you don't want mess to be a long term solution and that you don't want to depend on them. But be willing to take them for a time to help balance you out enough to fight your demons.

[Sara413]

Sorry for the autocorrect - mess = meds

[Sad_Onion]

@Sara413 yeah, thats what my mum said. she suffered with depression and said they helped her to begin the healing process. she took antidepressants knowing that she wouldn't be on them permanently.

I dont know though, i dont like the thought of substituting alcohol for medication. im just trying to take it one day at a time.

@SweetHomicidalQueen thanks. just thought i would share my story and let you know that there are others suffering with mental health issues. you're not alone.

the one thing I've learnt is that its nothing to be ashamed of. the quote from Rick Warren that you provided sums it up perfectly

"why is it... if any other organ in your body breaks you get sympathy, but if your brain breaks, you get secrecy and shame?"

so true, mental illnesses can be just as debilitating as any physical illness.

[Franklin11726]

I have severe depression. Lack of sleep makes it worse. Nothing makes me happy. I fake 99% of my laughs. If I laugh about something when I am by myself, I immediately start to think about sad things and why I should not be laughing. I deal with it myself, because any anti-depressants they gave me made it worse. I deal with it by getting involved, talking with people, NOT sitting home alone. That's the worst thing to do. Have goals at least-follow them. DO NOT keep thinking about others. DO NOT think people look down on you. The only opinion that matters is the one your make yourself. NEVER let anyone tell you no. NOt even your parents, unless it's illegal, it is to harm yourself or others. So what if you went to the movie when mom and dad said no. what are they going to do? Ground you? Take away your cell phone? Who cares. Material objects are just tightly packed molecules, nothing more. To rely on machines to do what you can do by walking to your friends house is sick anyway. Might as well design something to think for you as well. Well, before I run out of space to write, I love you too!! Depression WILL fade over time, but it may take many years. Hobbies are the best remedy, college, or the military, BUT if you ever do join NEVER let the training bring you down-they are there to teach you, that is their job and they know what they are doing. It's not about you. It's about molding you into a warrior (or in the case of the Coast Guard like I did) it's about training you to save lives.

[xxcchhllaauu]

omg were the same I can't find happiness

[Franklin11726]

@xxcchhllaauu Thank you. And I am sorry you can't either. I find due to my depression, I have a severe lack of motivation, to do much at all. I manage to get As and Bs in most of my classes, but at a great expense-mainly sleep, which again is what feeds my depression. It is widely known in the medical field, that people who are depressed sleep a lot. I avoid over sleeping as much as possible, because when I do stay in bed for over 8 hrs, that makes me feel just as crappy as lack of sleep. Balance in sleep, diet, friendships, time for yourself, time doing things for others is what DOES help. When friends ask me to do something for them, I might, but I have learned to say "no. I am too busy right now." And when I say that I never explain to them why. There is no need. I do not bow to anyone. I've tried so many different things to "find happiness." If I can help, I would say, make a list of things you like to do, say, watch movies, knit read books, etc and concentrate on that

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I told you my views on this often. I feel it is getting better. I don't think it is malevolence or ignorance more misconceptions and misunderstanding. Of course I get the attraction of the drama attached to it, the extra attention garnered, it is the human nature of some to want it without being aware of damage they are doing. I have being on the flip side and seeing how mild mental health issues has affected my life. I have been in group sessions with people who have been hospitalised by mental health problems and heard about the devastation wrought in their lives. I have a friend whose mother committed suicide because of depression. So to echo your point, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.
So we keep plugging along writing posts, having discussions to raise awareness on mental health to show that it is not helpful to subconsciously belittle mental health issues in a way you wouldn't a physical illness. I don't know if I was just lucky or we have reached a new dawn but I was amazed by the understanding and empathy shown across the board to me when I needed it most.

[ResonantGuy]

I've similar signs of anxiety. I can't function properly in public places. Worst is phone. In addition to those symptoms I get itchy feeling all over body and feel the need to go to bathroom whenever I get call from an unknown number and some people.

About OCD... while resting my head on my hand if I blow air on my hand by chance while breathing then I must blow air on each finger individually. Until I do that, I can't be calm.
Whenever there are multiple things, I deal with them with some kind of mathematical equation or in some proportion.
If anything is in multiplication of 4 then it's the best! Otherwise I prefer things to be in 5. I hate when I see something which I can't easily divide.
I've so many more weird stuff that I do or goes in my mind.

Plus, I've almost recovered from depression. Nothing worked but magic happened when I finally opened up to couple of friends! Talk to someone really close. Recovery speed will be super fast!
If you can't then find someone from any place you like; on/off-line.

And people should stop saying "Stop being depressed/anxious"/"Stop thinking/over-thinking" and other weird shits. Really? Can you? 😂
If you want to offer comfort words, do it but notice their reaction and next time select words based on that feedback. A hug is even better, if the person likes it...
... OR just listen and don't say anything or give discomforting reactions, it's better than everything.

[Sara413]

Good Take! As someone who's had my own battles with depression it really bothers me when people casually throw depression around like it's just an emotion. It's not a fucking emotion. I also hate when people assume depression is just being really sad. When I was in my deepest darkest place I'd have given anything to feel sad because at that point I felt nothing at all. Feeling sad is no fun but it's a fucking party compared to the sense of pointlessness and meaninglessness you have when you're completely disconnected from the life that's happening all around you.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Are you doing better?

[Sara413]

Yeah, I am :)

It was a long struggle though. It started around your age but I was too afraid and too ashamed to seek help for years. The fucked up part is no one knew. I was good at hiding it. Too good. I cut myself and wrote poetry that honestly scares me to read now, but when I was anywhere other than my room by myself I was the class clown, the funny girl, the loudest and silliest person in the room, the life of the party. It would take everything I had to get myself to leave my room but once I was immersed in a social setting I would distract myself from it by drinking, smoking and making people laugh.

In college I went to a counselor for a short time but I told her and myself that I was just stressed because of school and living away for the first time. I didn't really tell her everything. She was awesome and she taught me some cognitive behavioural therapy tools which I still use to this day, but I wish I'd been more honest with her about how bad things were and how deep

[Sara413]

It went.

I was up and down throughout my early twenties, mostly down tbh. After a short lived romance at 22 that ended terribly I spiraled pretty far. I started seeing a therapist at my university because I was worried about my grades. I was drinking too much again and I had no motivation most days. I just wanted to stay in bed for weeks on end. Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house for days. Wouldn't answer my phone. Friends would stop by and I'd hide from the window til they left. It was really bad.

[Sara413]

I forced myself to go to the gym every day and praised myself for it every time I left the house. I told my friends I was struggling and asked them not to let me lock myself away for days. I gave one friend a spare key so she could barge in when I was ignoring everyone and make me come out.

[Sara413]

It was up and down for a long time with some days better than others. Then I moved across the country and things remained rocky for a while but I finally felt like I'd found my place in life. One of my issues had always been that I never felt like I really belonged anywhere. My hometown, my college town, my first university town... I always had friends but never really felt connected or like I really mattered all that much. Then I dunno, there was something different about the group I formed around me where I live now...

[Sara413]

Anyways, over the past 7 years I've gone from being the lowest I'd ever been to living the happiest I've ever been. I have great friends, I'm down school, I have a decent job with good pay, and I'm in a damn near perfect relationship.

Keep forcing yourself forward because like does get better. It's not easy and you'll always have your struggles, but you can overcome it and lead a happy fulfilling life :)

[Sara413]

Don't do what I did and self medicate. I used to drink a lot and smoked weed every day, which didn't help at all and only made things worse. Suck up your pride and seek help and force yourself to put in the hard work to get better. Don't make yourself suffer as long as I did.

[somebodysaycheese]

It comes down to ignorance. Most people dont know anything about what a mental illness is , signs... etc Secondly, we have the tendency to normalize it. Like " oh im so depressed , I need to get a drink and smoke". Thats not o. k , fact is mental illness is treatable and for many curable. Their needs to be treatments available beyond the prescription drugs that benefits large pharma companies and the government. One of the reasons im furious with the Obama admin. I though for sure theyd make larger efforts for mental illness awareness.

[FallOutBoy2001]

I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore, but from my symptoms it's mild depression and anxiety.

I don't mean mild depression like "oh it only happens everyone once in a while" I mean "I feel sad all the time, it's fucking with my life, but it's not severe enough that I feel that the benefits of seeing a psychologist or going on meds outweigh the cons."

My anxiety makes me on edge all the time and so much more stressed than I should be, meaning when things don't go as well as I want them to (which is usually how well I've convinced myself I need them to be, which is perfect) I freak out and have to try not to break down.

If anyone wants either of those, let me know, because I will happily give them to you. It's hell living with them

[ThisDudeHere]

"Oh my god I'm sooo OCD!" -Perfectionsits aren't OCD
"I'm so nervous for my SAT! My anxiety ______." -Nervousness isn't anxiety.
"I'm so sad! My dog died. Now my depression ________." -Sadness isn't depression.

But what if they truly do have a problem? I mean, sure, more often than not it's exaggerated but you ask people to not stigmatize you for having mental illnesses while at the same time you start off the take by stigmatizing someone else...

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Because they're just example of people who don't have them?
Don't play the "what if" game, I wasn't quoting anyone specifically.
Damn. Calm your titties dude.

[ThisDudeHere]

Take no offence, I meant not to hurt feelings n shit. But it's kind of... unclassy to start a take about not shaming you for your shortcomings, by shaming someone else.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

I wasn't shaming anyone, these aren't specific quotes. I literally made em up.

[ThisDudeHere]

But you attributed them to someone. That's comparable to me saying that people with mental issues are all like "Oh woe is me I'm so sad n feel bad" or something like that. A made up quote but it's aimed at someone.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

It wasn't aimed at anyone hun.
Most of the time, people who say those things don't usually have X mental illness, shaming wasn't intended.

[Sara413]

Dude - people who actually suffer OCD don't say shit like "OMG I'm sooooo OCD about this!" They seriously don't. Most of them are ashamed and try to hide their compulsions as best they can. They shouldn't need to feel that way but they generally do. They're not running around telling everyone they meet how "totes OCD" they are about dumb shit.

[FallOutBoy2001]

@Sara413 I agree. my coach, for example, I knew had OCD back when I first met him because he happened to mention something related to it, but just recently was when he was comfortable enough around me to know that he didn't have to hide his compulsions around me.

[ScarlettVTFrey]

I hate having anxiety. I have it in almost all forms but my major kicker is SAD. I can't hold a normal job because I can't talk to people, being criticized or having to ask for help makes me cry and so much more. The longest job I held was 2 1/2 weeks before I was fired because I just couldn't handle it. I ended up having panic attacks on a daily basis.
And always the look of annoyance at my fiancé when I ask him to order my food for me. He does it, but pokes fun at me. He just doesn't realize how difficult it is for me to talk to someone I don't know. It makes my chest hurt and my stomach tighten and I can't breath.
Really, I hate it.

[bluenose1872]

Load of shite man. Anxiety and depression are natural. One protects you the other signals you have to change something. It's a scam to sell drugs saying it's unnatural. Everything in this piss hole world is a money making scam. A psychologist with an alphabet of letters after his name told me this. Most mental health issues are just natural reactions to certain extreme events in persons life. There are chemical imbalances which can cause schizophrenia and personality disorders but most are like I said, natural

[mrfoox]

Aah yes, as someone who have deppression/anxiety as well as autism/add i can relate to a lot of what you wrote. My brother often make comments about being 'deppressed', and makes jokes about killing himself, it's quite harmful, and bothersome, since I've been struggling with severe deppression and suicidal thoughts half my life

[notbrxthing]

As someone with severe anxiety and depression, I could not agree more with this post. I feel like people don't take mental illnesses seriously. I remember overhearing someone last year saying "I wish I had panic attacks so a boy could comfort me" and all I could think was how could someone think like that? hell, when I'm having a panic attack I want to be alone in a small room sitting on the ground. why is it being romanticized? there's nothing romantic about being curled up in a ball screaming crying on a bathroom floor. I rarely leave my house. haven't been to school in four months. my life is crashing down and I feel lost. I've contemplated suicide. mental. illnesses. are. not. a. joke. to anyone struggling, your fight is not over. stay strong <3

[notbrxthing]

even on medication, it's still hard for me to live on normally. it's dibilitating.

[karahiri]

so only people with mental illnesses have a right to use those words? come on. there are enough restrictions out there on self-expression. i'm not going to change the way i communicate because it might offend you. i don't see this as a way to bring about awareness or empathy, but a way to further segregate those who have mental illness from those who don't.

[dipta]

Having a mental illness is not something that's wanted, but it could be argued that many are mentally ill in some way or another.

Anyway, anxiety and depression are words created and used way before they were even attributed to a real mental illness. We all have some degrees of those, they're not exclusive of the mentally ill nor are those words usually used with that degree of seriousness by regular people.

[kingoficeolation]

The thing is, though, it isn't like a disease of any other organ. I am not my skin or my lungs or my pancreas. But I am my brain, so if there is a problem with it, there is a problem with who I am, with my very being. It is not any organ but who I am as a person that is defective. I am not simply I'll. I am not a functional person. Some level of stigma seems almost appropriate.

[Mustachekitteh]

People who truly have a disorder or illness will be shunned by most people. :(

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Sadly

[Soulife]

I have aspergers but I'm happy because I know that considering all the health issues I had at birth, I could be much, much, much worse. I'm thankful for everything I have and am :)

[Sara413]

Can I just be totally upfront here for a second and say that the one mental health / developmental 'disability' I really don't understand is the spectrum? I have tried to read up on autism and aspergers but it seems there is so little real understanding out there of what it is and how it manifests and affects lives.

If you ever feel up to the task, I think writing a take about your life and what it means for you to be living with aspergers would be awesome. Only if it's something you're actually interested in doing tho. Just wanted you to know there are people here who are genuinely interested in learning more.

[Soulife]

@Sara413 sorry for the late late response. I'll think about the idea! I like the idea, thanks!

[abundantlyrich]

I agree.

I dont believe people when they say they are depressed from sitting in their room and using computer 24/7 trolling or being pigheaded and acting like world is as small as theur room. It's fucking Narcissism and pure laziness.

[abundantlyrich]

And being spoilt from having basic comforts. Thanks to their parents.

[SunsetStar]

That said, mental illness can lead to some of that. When I was at my worst, sitting around on the computer on a friend's couch was about all I could manage to do without having serious panic attacks.