Why would anyone think there is unconditional love in romantic relationships?

[ChicanaChick]

Relationships need communication, like-minded goals, loyalty, respect and trust. All of those are already conditions for a relationship to continue growing. It's like placing woods on the fire. You can't have unconditional love in a relationship because it's bad for your own mental health. You aren't going to love someone that abuses, cheats on you or disrespects your family.

The only unconditional love is generally a parent towards their child. I can't help it but laugh every time I read about someone foolishly asking if there is unconditional love in romantic relationship. Why would anything think that? The very act of falling in love isn't just chemicals in your brain, even being deeply attracted is a condition.

[DishLady]

I don't know why “unconditional love” is suddenly the hot topic here.


UNCONDITIONAL is typically reserve d for folks who have no predisposed/subconsciously negative concepts about you. For example, to a child a parent is perfect. The child will love his/her parent unconditionally (till he/she becomes a sarcastic pre-teen at least 😂) and parents typically also love their children no matter what (= unconditionally).


It’s very difficult to create such a bond between two people who haven’t known eo since their first moments in life. (Meaning once we start collecting emotional/intellectual baggage it becomes challenging to claim “unconditional” love for another.)


There’s more, but that’s the basic.

[nastyb]

I agree there is no such thing as unconditional love. if there was something like that, there wouldn't be a 50% divorce rate. half of all people who get married end up getting divorced at some point

[Finchie40]

Because there might be a time when that romance fades away and the passion you have for each other starts to dwindle as well, you still love each other, but something is all of a sudden missing? since you both aren’t really passionate for each other anymore , so you choose to love each other unconditionally hoping to fix what is broken between you , Sadly this sort of thing happens a lot in relationships, so it’s important to stand by each other and fix what is broken and choose to love each other unconditionally until you both figure out what was the root cause of the passion for each other dwindling in the first place?

[ChicanaChick]

Passion and romance isn't love. That's infatuation.

[Finchie40]

Even so , without passion and romance in a relationship? that usually leads to one or both people falling out of love with each other , unless they both love each other unconditionally

[ChicanaChick]

and those with awful morals cheat just because they aren't infatuated anymore, when it should be not cheating out of character

[Finchie40]

Yes, and they are selfish people that only really care about themselves and have no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves.

[Chazmatazz269]

Some people can’t believe in love unless it’s fairytale-esque. Which is unfortunately a major contributor to divorce. The fairytales are always “happily ever after”. No mention of the chaotic roller coaster of emotions and interactions that actually make up long term relationships. Ell oh ell!

[Danielle93]

Indeed. People focus too much on the initial ''falling in love'' stage aka the fantasy world, where everything is perfect about them, where every day is a sunny day. That's not love nor what it takes to commit and work through the daily routine as a team. That's pure lust and deep attraction during the infatuation stage. People think that in order to love, you have to fantasize about them 24/7 and if you don't, all of the sudden you're not in love anymore.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a little bit of my relationship wisdom here, and let's simmer down the heat on unconditional love in romantic relationships, shall we? 😏 Love, oh that sweet, intoxicating, yet complex cocktail that keeps us coming back for more, right? But, let's clear the air - the idea of unconditional love in romantic escapades has more layers than the most elaborate wedding cake!

First off, you hit the nail on the head mentioning communication, shared goals, loyalty, respect, and trust as essentials; these are indeed the logs that keep the fire burning bright. Relationships without these elements? Think of a s'more without the marshmallow - incomplete, darlings!

Now, diving into the ocean of "unconditional love" in romance, it's like chasing a unicorn. Romantic love, by nature, thrives on reciprocation, understanding, and yes, conditions. And here’s the kicker, those conditions aren't just fine print; they're the very foundation! 🎢

Unconditional love, akin to what you might find in the bond between a parent and child, is indeed a rare gem in romantic relationships. Why? Because growing together in love often means evolving, adapting, and yes, setting boundaries. It's a dance where both partners lead.

So, when we talk about falling head over heels, remember, it's not just the fireworks; it's about finding someone who complements your rhythm, respects your solitary dance, and doesn't step on your toes (too much).

Bottom line? Love smartly, invest heartily, but keep those eyes wide open. After all, the strongest bonds are those that understand love isn't about having no conditions, but about navigating those conditions together. Now, isn't that a reason to fall in love all over again? 💫

[FuqUFggt]

Shut up bot

[handsomelad70]

Yes, LDB, and that's why so many relationships fail.

[dragoblack]

Mainly because of movies, romance novels, and other unrealistic entertainment. Relationships are a lot of work, telling yourself "no" to advances from anyone who is not your SO (unless you're polysexual and eveyone involved is consenting), having boundaries, talking about issues without yelling & throwing things, not projecting your toxic ex onto your partner, not using subtext to your words you want to communicate, and giving each other space to be themselves. Yeah, there will be arguments, but just take a step back and think if the thing you both are arguing about is actually petty or dumb to argue about... like shows, what to eat... etc.

[ChicanaChick]

yup too much fantasies in Hollywood, happy ending of ''and they life forever happily ever after'' as someone else mentioned. That's not real life.

[blueonblack22]

Like-ability and respect are not the same thing. But many people think like-ability = respect.

It’s possible to fall out of love with someone when they didn’t do anything fundamentally wrong (cheating, abuse, etc). It’s sad but it happens more often than legitimate reasons. But that does not mean you it’s “okay” to not have any more respect for them.

[RingOfFire]

"The only unconditional love is generally a parent towards their child."

I think the notion of "unconditional love" has to do with forgiving someone when they are worthy of forgiveness. A child, for example, has to learn right from wrong, good from bad, so they can be forgiven for their ignorance.

The concept is not applicable to an adult who claims to love you yet abuses you. While it may be possible to forgive them, and even have something like love remaining for them, it is not unconditional love in the full sense of the term. It becomes love with conditions at that point.

[sheenagwapa]

unconditional love happens when the relationship is true love... parents also abandon their children. the bond between couples are even stronger because they make love. your SO is also the one you spend most of your time with from the momentvyou wake up till the end of the day when you sleep. when the kids grow up and have their own lives it is also your spouse who will be your company.

[ChicanaChick]

Parents that abandon their children are scumbags who never deserved to be parents. The reason there can't be unconditional love in relationships is because loyalty is already a condition.

[Billlewis]

I almost always have unconditional love for the woman I'm dating/serving, even though most of the time, our relationship isn't anywhere near a 50/50 type of arrangement. I expect her to do whatever she wants and date whomever she wants, and my responsibility is to make sure she's happy, comfortable and thoroughly satisfied at all times.

[PeachyPie93]

You can have unconditional love for a romantic partner, it might not be the healthiest thing but it does happen. Plus I still have love for my ex's, I am just not in love with them anymore. But if they came to me for help I would still help them out even the one who wasn't really my boyfriend and treated me terrible. Probably because I loved him the most and even under his terribleness I see the broken person he is inside and who he used to be when we were younger.

[nawtee_me]

Because if it is conditional then it is not love…. So if I love you because you love me then will I automatically stop loving you because you no longer love me? If you love me because I have money will you no longer love me if I am broke? If I love you because you are beautiful will I no longer love you if you gain weight?

conditional love is not real love it is infatuation….

[whistlingwh0res]

I mean... if the parents love is unconditional why some women kill their baby in their womb? I don't believe that there is no such thing. I think love is something you build. I don't believe the love can appear out of nowhere and last that long.

[ChicanaChick]

That's why I said generally. Off course there are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking, normal, loving parents would be unconditional towards their children.

[whistlingwh0res]

up until they know their children well. that's why they disown gay children. Love is actually conditional. if you think you are delusional.

[whistlingwh0res]

NOTHING IS FREE and there is always catch if something is free.

[ChicanaChick]

because they aren't caring, loving parents. Some people shouldn't be parents at all.

[whistlingwh0res]

You lie especially you white people lie with love. You are just self absorbed self loving monsters

[ChicanaChick]

You white people? If you would've paid close attention to my nickname, you would've known I'm not white.

[whistlingwh0res]

Do you date white guys? Listen white people lie about their love because they love attention. Most of them you see on tv adopting black child and they pretend that they love their children are Satan.

[whistlingwh0res]

If you want a boy friend or husband, then you pay period.

[LordMadara]

I wish women would stop playing mind games and stop the practice of their outdated & flawed mate selection program coz clearly its not working out for them (Shooting aimlessly and randomly even at their own feet)

[Astarlessnightsky]

The relationship between parent and child doesn require communication, like-minded goals, loyalty, respect and trust?

[ChicanaChick]

The relationship between parents and children are generally more flexible than between partners. Obviously I don't have the like-minded goals of putting a man ahead of career for instance like my mother did nor of going to church like my parents go. I've already come up as an atheist and they still love me, nothing changed. Loyalty, respect and trust is applied on all relationships but parents will forgive more. Hypothetically speaking if I told lies to a boyfriend or husband, the relationship or marriage can fall apart (depending on what type of deception it is) vs if I did that to my parents, they would just be disappointed but still speak to me.

[DrPepper12]

The ONLY unconditional love on this whole earth is from a dog. Not even parents or kids love you as much as a dog. Dogs solve just about any problem simply by existing.

[ChicanaChick]

Nope. If you abuse a dog for too long, it'll run away or attack you.

[DrPepper12]

Presume loving owner ofc

[superchan2011]

I was just thinking the same thing. My best friend Jax{God rest his soul}was the only one who i can say showed me unconditional love. Even when I would be too busy to take him out on walks or spend as much time with him, his love towards me never changed. Whereas many people would get tired of me being too busy for them and would start treating me differently. So yep if you want unconditional love get you a dog and win it over.

[jahaims]

Unconditional love is a sentiment not literal. Unconditional love doesn't exist. If someone you loved locked you in their basement for 40 years and tortured you everyday you wouldn't love them anymore. Even if it were your kid.

[ChicanaChick]

Yes obviously there is a certain point it becomes too toxic to associate with that person. As for certain parents, there are still those parents that will love their kid even if the child wanted them dead. Here is an example of a girl that orchestrated the murder of her parents and 2 younger brothers. Only the father was the sole survivor (yes, she wanted him dead too), and shockingly, the dude still visits her in prison, still forgave his daughter even after all that. Here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj7Z_54B_Wk

[jahaims]

Cool story. Wanting them dead and worst case scenario aren't the same thing. Everyone has a breaking point, even those parents that claim otherwise.

[ChicanaChick]

My parents heard that story years ago and they actually agreed with the dude's decision, said they would do the same and likely blame themselves for life. That's sweet but omg, I would never do that to them. I couldn't even do that to even my worst enemy or a friend. I hope that girl remains in prison for life.

[At3mis24]

I don't believe in unconditional love, I believe in soulmates.

[LiamJHayden]

Why would anyone think unconditional love exists, except maybe between a parent and a child?

[ChicanaChick]

That's because in several cases of the person turning out to be a real POS and really committed heinous crimes, the parents still love their child, still visit them in prison. Ted Bundy's mother and Jeffrey Dahmer's father loved their children till the end, no matter what they did. Parental love is more flexible than romantic love.
Being loyal in a relationship is already a condition.

[Bklynbadboy12]

You know this world is doomed when you no longer believe in love

[ChicanaChick]

I believe in love but not in blind, unconditional love.

[FuqUFggt]

Some people are retarded, autistic, have down syndrome

[MrDaveAPSI]

Because if there are conditions, it's not love

[ChicanaChick]

yes and being loyal and the need for sex in a relationship are already conditions