Social Standards: Beauty

[cocoaniable]

A/n: Okay before I start, I want to say that I just wrote this because of some things that are bothering me and I'm wondering if other people feel the same way. Obviously there will be people who disagree, complain, etc. The things I'll mention are not because I'm "insecure" or "jealous" and I'm not trying "to generalise". This is just my opinion.

Nowadays, we live in a world where media and communication are more than essential. We get influenced through internet, video games, TV and other modern media (e.g. Instagram, Facebook). We all get labels thrown our way. One of the consequences people can experience is a certain, unpleasant pressure. Society tries to dictate what is beautiful and fashionable. Because of the unrealistic image that’s created by other people, especially teenagers will feel more insecure. But there are some people who let social standards and norms dictate everything, from what they believe to who they date. It's upsetting and frustrating to see.

During high school I guess you could say I didn't really "fit in": I liked reading, I gamed, I wrote stories and I didn't parade around with (too much) make-up. I also was shy, very quiet and didn't have a lot of social skills. My hobbies and interests were portrayed as lame and this lead to the point where I wasn't well understood by other people.

When I was younger I've been bullied twice, during primary school and my 1st year of high school as well. This was because of my "looks". I had a pair of red shoes and I really loved them. Apparently some other girls didn't think so and they started gossiping about them. Basically "whisper shouting", I could hear everything perfectly but they did as if I wasn't there, even though I was sitting next to them. I guess you could say these "mean girls" were all the same: skinny jeans, nikes/ all stars, same kind of jacket, lot of make-up and long, straightened hair. The kind of girls who are very clique-ish, gossip a lot and who don't accept other girls/people who are somewhat different.

We buy certain brands: to be seen, to be heard, to impress people, we want people to like us. It's definitely critical to get to know people first. It takes time too. It seems most people these days are always wearing masks, always adopting a persona that isn't really them. That make it hard to chip through all that and learn who they really are. Why can't some people just be themselves and be content with that? Only you can define yourself. But it’s never enough. Why do we want to impress people we don’t know/like? I think we live in a superficial world: people get idolized for their looks, money, etc. A certain amount of friends or likes on Facebook tells you how "popular" someone is + the way they look: thigh gaps, duck face, all the filters, photoshop, half naked in front of a mirror, etc. Besides material possessions and physical appearance seem like they are "the key" to happiness. Some people forget what some things truly mean.

In the end we’ll all get labels thrown our way, but the essence is the way we interpret them. Only you can define yourself. There will always be someone who is prettier, smarter or richer than you are. Eventually reality will catch up to you. Even though it’s our life with the choices we make, I feel like society confronts us on a daily basis with what's tolerated and what isn't. We all follow the rules as long as the conditions are fulfilled. Because we are constantly adapting ourselves to others, we are losing sight of the most important thing, namely ourselves.

[ak666]

>> Apparently some other girls didn't think so and they started gossiping about them. Basically "whisper shouting", I could hear everything perfectly but they did as if I wasn't there, even though I was sitting next to them. [...] The kind of girls who are very clique-ish, gossip a lot and who don't accept other girls/people who are somewhat different.

This is a part I wanted to focus on because I often wonder where women's insecurities come from. It's easy to say the media but the media should make me just as insecure when I see guys who look like this:

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...c26e9e3e3c.jpg

... geez, I can't compete with that. But I don't have the types of insecurities I often see girls who even have boyfriends already can have. I'm okay with the fact that I don't look like this.

And we might say it's because guys go after girls who look like supermodels, except they often don't.

So where does the insecurity come from where an adult female who has a loving boyfriend can still end up being paranoid about whatever she perceives as an imperfection?

I don't know the answer to this, but sometimes I think women can be far more vicious and judgmental of each other than men are towards women.

[SmartButBroke]

Yeah, women are more vicious and judgmental towards each other.

It's apples and oranges, though, thinking about how the media and beauty standards affect women vs men. Men's worth in society comes from totally different things than women's worth does. We're always given messages that our worth is stuff like how we look, getting a man, keeping a man, getting married, having kids. For a woman, just because she has a man doesn't mean she can keep him. I'm sure you know women think of men as cheaters. And women also think of other women as waiting in the wings ready to snatch their man. It's amazing how many women think men's cheating is about them not being pretty enough, but... most women put cheating down to attractiveness. Women are always shocked when the woman a man cheats with looks worse than her.

For men, worth seems to mainly be about masculinity, and that's why, to me, men do a *lot* of going overboard trying to prove how much of a "man" they are in so many different ways.

[Anonymous]

I really like your myTake ! Too bad you got bullied because of your looks. I hate the way society thinks these days. And people really are superficial.

[capturemyheartnow]

Women should not be put into specific image and asked to live up to that standard. They should be able to live the way they want to live. Perfection should not be insisted upon. Every women should be free to project her own body image. They should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin and never be compelled to change for anyone , unless it's for good health and well being. Thy should be able to appreciate and love their body and be confident to remain as they are without being ashamed of anybody.

[Teenagekid16]

Ok white knight

[Cruz_]

@Teenagekid16 beat me to it

[Teenagekid16]

@Cruz_ haha this guy is cringe

[Cruz_]

@Teenagekid16 i hate guys who suck up like this. yeah it's okay to support someone but society has standards.

[Teenagekid16]

@Cruz_ yeah his girlfriend is probably overweight and he tells her how beautiful she is all the time

[Straightedge_Atheist]

Im tired of these posts/my take of women complaining about how they are judged because of their looks since you are the same people who judge guys by our looks, appearance, physical attributes, the way we dress etc.

[Teenagekid16]

Yep, and those women don't want to be held to the same standards they have for men. They'd rather stay working retail or whatever shit job and be "body positive".

[Crapulux]

... And you got 7 upvotes by guys, and 6 downvotes by women, which proves you right LOL

[TheUsername27]

Yeah they are hypocrites lol..