I'm an ugly girl, but I want a handsome boyfriend?

Question

I'm ugly, and i'm not going to try looking good, it's a waste of time and money , i don't care about how i look anymore because I'm just non-attractive. I rather to invest my energy and time learning and studying, but I only like really handsome guys. 
I feel like those ugly nerdy guys who want a girl out of their league, they can get it , since ugly guys can get nice looking girls, but ugly girls like me... ehh.. it's atypical.
How do I surpass this?
How can I stop feeling attraction towards people?
It would be sad if i just choose a guy uglier than me in order to not being a loner. That's truly sad.
If i become wealthy, can i get a good looking guy?, I mean, guys do it all the time, they're ugly but have money so girls date them.
It would work for a girl to do the same?
I'm not shallow.
All people like attractive people.
It's a fact. The first thing you see in a person is his/her face and body.

chives · Accepted Answer

"people have a ridiculous expectations of a mate, In my grandmothers day you wouldn't expect your husband to fulfill the same need in you as your sister, girlfriends, or colleagues at work, you have different needs met by different people. Now we want all our needs met by one person, and I don’t believe that’s possible"
.
"How can one person possibly fulfill all our hopes and dreams? And yet that is what we tell ourselves,

Rosamund Pike on modern relationships.

You don't actually see how selfish you are being, asker, look at what the words you are using "ME" "I"
this is a concept known as self grasping, you are looking for a partner through attachment and not love, someone you feel will validate you and make you whole

if they send us gifts and say "I love you one day", we’re happy for a moment, but then we wonder why they don’t do it again the next day, or even the next hour. Perhaps it’s because they no longer love us? But we need them to! If we set ourselves up in need for reassurance, our mood goes up and down like a yo-yo because we are not in love with the person,

you are in love with the way they may you feel, you need that external validation.

so you have to love yourself, other people can not give you reliable opinions, only you can know if your are a good person as people are motivated by self interest.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be close to people, but there is everything wrong with wanting to be close to them through self grasping, In actuality being attached can never satisfy us as we just want their validation even more we become even hungrier.

So love others always and love yourself, as for a relationship, just let it happen, if you go looking for it, it won't come.

focus on your values and your purpose, if a guy comes along, then he will go along with, you need to have a real sense of nobility, this is how you find the most amount of fulfillment out of life

psykobrahe · Accepted Answer

I like your attitude. It is very refreshing. Confidence like that is sexy. And if you want a handsome boyfriend, go explore. Talk to handsome guys. Just be curious. Discover things about them. Make a move.

There are literally millions of handsome guys in the world. You shouldn't have too much trouble bagging one. You just have to offer him something he wants.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As an ugly woman myself (who actually does put effort into her appearance) I'm telling you that you're not going to get a handsome boyfriend, especially if you're not willing to put any effort into your appearance. I don't think money is going to help considering I do make good money. I've got plenty of guy friends who I've been interested in at first but they were never interested in dating me. We just get along well enough that we've ended up being friends. They all know I make good money, but they don't care. They just want friendship out of me. They aren't handsome men either, these are all men who are about average. I try my best not to go out my league.

Now I don't know if you're ugly or not or if it's just your self-esteem. I'm not going to sit here and say "I'm sure you're beautiful and it's low self esteem" because as someone who doesn't feel attractive I know it doesn't work. For me when people say that, it makes me feel irritated since I know my experiences in my own life. Most people don't believe someone when they call themselves ugly on the internet.

All I can say is that you shouldn't settle just to not be lonely. I think you need to get to know guys and look past their looks just like you hope for them to do for you. All the men I've actually wanted, I got to know first. I've never been a love at first type of person. It's always been personality for me. I learned at a young age that I couldn't go only for looks since I'd be a hypocrite. It's not fair to expect to only get good looking men, and to ask them to look past your looks if you can't do the same for them.

bizunguinha · Accepted Answer

Sweetie... Let me tell you something : There are NO ugly girls in this world !! But I agree that every girl must look feminine and at their best. We live in a very visual society and people do judge and get attracted for your outside beauty as well. Everybody can improve hair, losing weight, wearing clothes that are right for your shape, a little make up, sexy shoes... YOU are also investing on yourself by doing that and opening many doors in many aspects of your life if you do that. You do not need to be over the top looking fake or trying to look like a top model... but you will feel awesome with your self esteem. Pick something you love about yourself first... your hair? your eyes? your lips? your body? Everybody has something good and should work around that. I am positive you will see life in a different way and be confident to fly higher AND the most important thing : Not only good looks help, but also a great personality and character. If you have both, you will be a winner forever.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Its not hard to be attractive. Confidence and a strong personality is attractive. Being clean and well groomed is attractive. You dont have to cake makeup on your face or buy designer clothes. Its about maintaining your hygiene and being the best person you can be. I know girls who make zero effort with makeup and clothing who are gorgeous, and have no need to ever make that effort. Another important point to make is that you most probably aren't ugly. There are very few people in this world who are genuinely ugly. Besides, even the most average looking person can become instantly attractive if they have a striking personality.

iluvGsus1 · Accepted Answer

LETS GET DIS STRAIT, AIGHT? YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL... whether its inside or out... n if a guy can't see it sweetheart den he's not worth your time... move along... you might not think your pretty but someone out der does... that shuld be enuf hope n if it aint... den message me n we'll tlk personally

Phantom-menace · Answer

show me a picture, I will let you know if I would date you. I don't want to hear this rubbish, you are saying your ugly. The feeling sorry for myself princess routine. By the way handsome boyfriend, is not going to make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. Why don't you focus, on other things like career or college. Men are not everything in life young lady. If all your going to think is handsome men, you might as well consider ending your life. There is so much more to life than the opposite sex. Thought about travelling, getting some hobbies etc.

If you can't be happy single, you haven't got a chance of being happy in a relationship. Thats a fact.

kheserthorpe · Answer

If by ugly you mean face and body, it's an extreme long shot. Generally speaking wealth & status don't boost women's attractiveness much. Ugly guys with hot gf's are usually higher status/charm/wealth. That's not the same as saying the girls are gold diggers. In many cases, the girls find them appealing/attractive/impressive because of their status/capabilities. Gold diggers don't find the guy appealing/attractive and are just hanging around for the material benefits. There are some male gold diggers, but nobody is happy with a gold digger.

If you mean just face, a well presented, fit, well dressed butterface can be reasonably attractive compared to other women and do reasonably well.

pharaoh_lover48118 · Answer

firstly no not the first thing you see is the body it's the clothes on the body so when you dresses nicely it well do you good then comes your self - confidence
secondly beauty is no fact you know I mean it's different from one to another so you may yourself as an ugly girl and another one will see you as a good looking girl
thirdly beauty of the face and body can just go in second and will eventually go with time but the intellegence and kindness of a girl and of course the good manners those are things that will last more than anything put that in your mind this is not a hollywood words it is the truth plain and simple

meatballs21 · Answer

A guy who spends time and effort to look his best is not going to be interested in a girl who thinks that is a waste of time. Since you don't like wasting time, you need to associate chasing guys out of your league with wasting it too.

Ugly girls can get nice looking guys (and vice versa) - don't confuse the fairly universal standard of beauty with what an individual guy will find 'cute'. Having a fun personality or being nice to be around can go a long way too, whereas this bad attitude and not thinking making yourself look appealing is a major turn-off. If you don't think you're worth the effort, nobody else will either.

ÉlanVital · Answer

This is the thing about ugly chicks in the world. After they lose effort to look nice, act properly, they still expect to get a handsome boyfriend. I mean seriously? You dont even try with your looks and feel entitled to someone that actually cares about themselves and their appearance? Beautiful women are the ones who tend to be a lot more lenient if the guy is ugly or not necessarily a super model.

I just dont understand why less prettier girls expect so much and have high standards.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a shame women are put down when they have opinions similar to those of many guys in wanting a "hot" partner without necessarily being hot themselves. This "reversal" is not accepted it seems. I know this is an older post and I'm writing this anonymously but for what it's worth I'm dating a girl who's not trying to be hot. I personally find her cute, but she's not spending money or time on looking good or improving her looks. In this relationship I'm the one who's going to the gym almost every day, maintain a slight tan, keep trimmed/shaved and maintain a nice skin tone.

CT_CD · Answer

So you're unattractive but still expect a handsome guy and refuse to settle for someone in your league?

"If i become wealthy, can i get a good looking guy?, I mean, guys do it all the time"

I don't think it would work for a girl. Ugly guys can get attractive girls by becoming wealthy and successful because women are attracted to power and status. A guy doesn't care about that stuff. They care more about looks. Guys would rather date an attractive broke, jobless girl over an ugly, successful girl with a good job.

scarygoodyr34 · Answer

Ok, stop telling yourself that you are ugly. It's not helping you and it's a bad thing to think about yourself. Think more positively. Work on yourself-your goals, your skills, your hobbies, your schoolwork. When you think more positively, you attract more positivity.

AleDeEurope · Answer

"It's a fact. The first thing you see in a person is his/her face and body." True, it's what you first see, but it's not what you focus when looking for a relationship.
I've seen many "ugly" girls with really handsome guys, so why can't you.
You shouldn't give up. Instead of earning their love by you looks (which most of the time doesn't work), try earning their love by your actions and with your personality (which works most of the time).

redroses1996 · Answer

Don't ever underestimate your self everyone is beautiful. The only time that some is ugly is when they have a ugly personality. I would suggest that you focus on your studies for now and when you are done with school you can focus on how to make yourself look more presentable and by then you will find guys that you are looking ot settle down with and not some temporary thing.!! <3

imjustadude · Answer

Don't pick out a guy based on looks alone.

I find most girls are pretty if they control their weight. Lose weight and you will be some kind of pretty, but don't loose too much or you will lose your curves.

If you have a horse face, have funny boobs, there is always make up and push up bras.

Most girls I think of as ugly are ugly because they have low self esteem and don't take care of themselves. Low self esteem is not attractive unless you have low self esteem yourself.

rUinSAYAN · Answer

I tought it was the other way around?
but well anyways..
here's my oppinion:
study and get a well paid job and try to get some gigolo who has sex with you cause he likes your money and likes to get fed etc. by you.
practically get a stupid but good looking guy that is a looser actually and needs you to fix his bad situation.

Supermosh1990 · Answer

Just look for a guy really nice, mature, polte, and can look past your looks, when you meet that guy that you think is handsome , just be yourself, while at the same time, you get to know each other. Just be patient , your knight in shining armor will appear in your life when you least exect it.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

girl bye. you might be able to get a handsome guy if you use your money bc there are male gold diggers but don't be surprised when he has a bad bitch in that car you let him drive

Anonymous · Answer

You put some effort and pay the money to look good. First of when you do so perhapys your personality would be slightly better ( coz honey you got some bad attitude towards yourself). Doing your hair, putting some make up, waxing, eyebrows, dressing nicely are not only for the guys. Once you do so, you'll feel like you can get any guy.. confidence is what it takes. If you do not want to take care of yourself then sorry to burst your bubble, but it is never gonna happen

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion, this isn't always the case. And anyway, you may just think you are ugly because we always look for our faults instead of our stronger attributes. Continue studying and all - but often just making that effort, like wearing nicer clothes and things can really improve how you look and will get you noticed. Don't lose hope - even people who don't think they are attractive find themselves someone they are attracted to.

learnin2live · Answer

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Ugly guys get pretty girls if they have money………true. I'm an average looking guy. Never weighed more than 120 pounds till I started working out. Girls started asking me out, buying me drinks, inviting me to go on spring break with them…………. Best advice? "BE the person you want to be with"!! IT WORKS! BELIEVE IT!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Mesonfielde · Answer

You probably evaluate yourself far more harshly than you should, and in reality there isn't really anything wrong with you. It is a shame there is no pic because then I would actually know the truth. #curiousity

loda1994 · Answer

you said it yourself "guys do it all the time, they're ugly but have money so girls date them."  plastic surgery ----|> money=beauty= someone handsome

Anonymous · Answer

First of all question doesn't have logic... Who said only handsome guys love pretty girls? Or who said you must be very beautiful to have an handsome boy? :) This line hasn't logic... Sometimes good looking boys love some girls who isn't very beautiful becoz of their nice personalities :) So if you have a nice personality, someone will find you eventually ;) Don't worry about it... And love urself! Being sexy and attractive can be appear only if person loves him/herself <3

I'm an ugly girl, but I want a handsome boyfriend?

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