I think my professor likes me, and I am hugely crushing for him, what do I do????

[Anonymous]

My prof has made long eye contact with me, gave me a lot of importance throughout the semester, tried to get me a raise based on his unrequested extensive recommendation, talked with me about what are my plans after graduating (im in my last semester) and specifically asked if I will get married or if I am married because he saw a ring on my hand one day; I would go in his office to ask question with regard to homework/class and he changes subject, tells me to sit down, talk etc... and sometimes he doesn't even talk he will stop and just look at me and smile :S and when he asked me when I'm graduating and I answered after two classes he just smiled ...then eventually asked me about plans etc.. one time I went in his office before the midterm and told him I was confused in the last class and he said was it the material and I was like "i just couldn't focus" and he replied with "was it because you were distracted ?"and again smile lolll ..He is very dreamy, and smart and he is within my age range. I'm 26 he's 34 I feel like he's going to ask me out after the semester ends but I want to make it clear I'm interested too, without looking stupid. I suppose I could be imagining things but it seems like obvious what do you think? Please help- I really think we'd make a good couple.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses; most of you blatantly claim its unethical but he's not grading me any different or anything and obviously wants to know when I will be done. He is actually a conservative guy and I know he's not a pig

Updates

+1 y

If its so hard to find someone why would you just walk away when you do? IT sucks he's my professor but he won't be forever! come on! Am I the only hopeless romantic out there?

[Anonymous]

dont take this the wrong way but its ethically wrong to be involved with a professor, there can be a lot of trouble if someone finds out, even after your class is over...and the age difference will be a issue in the long run...and honestly professors shouldn't target their young 26 year old students as dating material, they need to be more professional and focus on their teaching...if he has that mentality then I think he shouldn't be trusted...what if he's liked past students or ends up liking others?

[Anonymous]

he sounds like he's flirting, but... and not to sound mean, this just happened to a friend of mine once-- how do you know you aren't the only one in all his classes he gives those smiles to? Or the only person he asks to sit down and talk for a while? Sorry if this is harsh, but it's kinda something I'd consider if I were you.

[Asker]

i know because its a small department and I know alumni and current female students who are not bad looking and he never gave them any looks... in fact he oversees like 10 phd students 4 of which are female and they spend an awful lot of time together and I know the girls and they would tell me if he flirted with them. he is a smiley person though, that's a good point, but his smiles to me arentthe same they are like shy type smiles I can't explain. thanks for keeping my in reality ladies :)

[markml]

He asked you if you're married, so you can also ask him...plus other questions about his personal life, which will show interest.

Don't come on too strong though. Also, it's best to wait until you've finished his class before getting involved with him, since it wouldn't look good otherwise because of the whole "conflict of interest" thing.

[Asker]

I know he's not married and I have never came on strong, in fact I'm kind of a shy girl but my face tells a lot people say.. I think he's waiting for me to be done so its not unethical and he doesn't get fired..I don't see why its a big deal if you're a former student, he's not a pervert and I think the age becomes less of a difference as you get older..thanks for your comment.

[markml]

Yeah, it should be not too bad ethics-wise as long as you're not under his direct supervision. It still is a complicated situation for him because even if he doesn't mean to, he can still have subconscious bias when grading or writing you recommendations.

Universities have ethics committees that decide what the rules are, but generally they say that academics should avoid situations where there might be a "perceived bias", whether or not that bias exists.

[markml]

Also, since he's a young prof, I'm going to assume he does not have tenure. This makes it more complicated because even if he's not doing anything that would get him fired immediately, his actions could still affect his image with his peers. And unlike other jobs, that's very important, because they decide if he gets tenure or not.

Not saying he won't ask you out, because it sounds like he is going to...just explaining why he might be hesitating.

[jacki2424]

Say you'd love to still see each other, grab some food/movie/concert/ whatev even after you graduate.

hand him a ph # he can reach you at, and tell him

"I expect a text in the next couple of weeks.."

[Asker]

hehe I don't have the guts to say to my prof text me! that is bold :) but I feel like there is this weird chemistry between us and maybe I will do something because I never found love before and I feel this is big potential. thank you

[Anonymous]

Next time you go to his office for some questions, wear something really cute. Try really turning him on, but act like you're just in for questions

[Asker]

im extremely classy/sophisticated girl and never show skin but I'm really pretty too so I don't have to lol but its a good idea but how to turn a guy on without ... flirting or being naked I have no idea

[Opinion Owner]

just look into his eyes a split second longer than normal

[1gsfan]

You shouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Even if nothing happens your professor could get fired if rumors were to surface.

[Anonymous]

dont get involved with a proffessor. he could get in trouble for it and its morally wrong. just dont

[Opinion Owner]

i know he won't be for much longer but still, just sounds creepy to me, don't get involved

[humairah]

Am having the same problem too