Is it a really bad idea to meet up with an ex?

[Anonymous]

We haven't seen each other in months, barely spoken until recently when some of the tension has finally gone. I do still have some feelings for her but I don't pine for her anymore! She has moved on and I am (slowly) doing the same. I'm still unsure about whether I want to be good friends again but seen as I am in town for a few days (where she lives) I figured maybe I'd meet up with her. She wants to meet up and has suggested it a few times. Is it a bad thing to do? I don't expect anything from it and don't want to even talk about the relationship anymore. I do miss her company but am not sure if I can handle being around her as just a friend. But I don't really know as I haven't seen her! Is it worth testing the waters so to speak? I would like to see her so that would be a bonus but I worry whether seeing an ex again will undo all the progress. It's been easy not too see her as we do live in different cities but we also have a lot of mutual friends so it's not like I'm going to avoid her forever. I guess I'm just wondering when you know when your ready? I'm just wondering whether I should man up and bite the bullet or whether people think it's a bad idea?

[BD01JK]

99% of the time... this is a bad plan. I firmly stand by the fact that you need to stay away and that only distance and time makes these things better. The only thing that makes it worse is interaction.

Now... that being said, if you live in another town and really have no way to see her very often (or her to come see you)... and you're just going to be passing through her town and not there long... I can't totally vote for seeing her... but if you can stick to your guns and not try (or want) to get a relationship possibly going again... it might not be too horrible if you hung out for a couple of hours.

Just don't say I didn't warn ya. ;) Good luck!

[Asker]

haha thanks! I'm really not thinking about meeting her to try again. Just would like to see her. Plus things are a lot less awkward betwen us now so it feels like it would be awkward if I maybe didn't meet up especially as she's said to call her if I'm in town. I just want the tension to go away but just worry whether meeting makes it better or worse?

[BD01JK]

It may look like a jerk thing to do if she already knows you'll be in town. If she really wants to meet up, and you're not down to try and start something up again... then let her know you're real "busy"... but you'd love to meet her up for lunch somewhere at a restaurant. This keeps it in public so you can trust you and trust her, you get a chance to meet her and chat it out, but you've also given yourself an out after lunch if you need it... and to help keep it from getting too "deep". :)

[xxxgrenadexxx]

whenever I see my ex of 2 years ago in the eyes I fell for her agian so I wouldn't if I was you, you don't wanna be hurt!

[s834dgr]

if your not 100% over her then the chances are you'll fall for her again but who knows. just go if you think you can handle the situation in a sophisticated manner. it might be that you meet up with her and realize she wasn't that good for you afterall. personally, I don't think people can become 'just friends' if they were once in love with each other. it might be that she still has some feelings for you considering she's asked to see you a few times. but be warned, yes it will undo all your progress if you still have feelings for her.

[Quarantined_Thoughts]

Your not fully over her, so I would advise you not too. How can you get over it if you meet up with her? You'll just remember the good times and if she is over you that'll bring nothing but the bad.

[Quarantined_Thoughts]

to*

[singingbird]

bad idea don't do it