Should I try to meet up with my ex one last time?

[Anonymous]

Its been about 2 months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me. She wanted to meet up a bunch of times to be on good terms and becasue we were like best friends as well as in a relationship. She told me through multiple voicemails that she doesn't want to get back togther or lead me on to think that, but just to be good friends and doesn't want to loose me. So after two times she set up meeting times, both which I couldnt go to for valid reasons (helping a neighbour and being sick), she got frustrated and told me that I'm not putting any effort into meeting up, and she's doing all the work, which I dont understand because she broke up with me in the first place. Then she sent me a text saying she doesn't want to be friends with someone who makes her feel like shit and to have a nice life (she says a lot of mean stuff when she's heated in the moment). We haven't spoken for about a week, and I'm not going to lie she's on my mind a lot. One of my girl friends who I talk to about this told me to send her once last simple message saying "i still want to meet up if you want to, let me know?" nothing else, and see her responce. She told me she probably wanting to see me still because she is subtweeting so often. Which gets very annoying. Then my friend told me that maybe you guys could work on a good friendship that could lead to something further. In her situation they agreed not to be with anyone else and to work on their relationship. I feel like my ex wouldn't want that and may even take advantage of it, if she saw a guy she liked she would hook up with him and realize that her and I are only friends. I really dont know if working on a friendship is a good idea. This girl has said a lot of mean shit but is always on my mind. What should I do?

[bluesy33]

You two were just not meant to be. Of course you are going to think about her, it's only been two months since she dumped you, and now there's been this drama about meeting up, her flying off the handle saying you make her feel like s***, have a nice life, blah blah blah. She needs to get over herself. Honestly, who does she think she is? If she wants to meet up with you in an honest attempt to salvage at least a friendship, then the responsibility is on her to be patient until YOU"RE ready, whether because of your schedule, or your emotions at this point. She broke up with you, and the fact that she is behaving the way she is just seems to me she doesn't care a thing about you, even in a friendly way. Can you imagine being busy and unable to meet up with a friend and they just lash back out at you like that? Not much of a friendship, right? If she continues to treat people like this, her life won't be so nice, I promise you that. My advice to you would be to concentrate on the friends you have that DON'T treat you like that and move forward with your life. You have to decide how you want to be treated, and what you would actually stand to gain from having a friendship with her. Take care, best wishes!

[Asker]

So I talked to my friend a little more regarding contacting her in general. She told me to send the simple text saying if you still want to meet up I'd be up for it?, and just see what her response is. She said I'll probably be able to tell what she wants by how she responds. What do you think? Or should I reword the message?

[GuyWannaHelp]

Becoming friends after a breakup is not as easy as she seems to think it is. Being on good terms with each other is a very good idea, I do agree with her on that. However, I don´t think a friendship is the best way to get there; especially so soon after the breakup.

Here is what I think. She broke up with you, but as she said herself, she doesn't want to lose you (as a friend). it is normal that she feels this, most people do after a breakup. The fact that she is so focused on meeting up with you tells me that she misses you, at least a little. This is why I think becoming friends with her now is a bad idea. It is a way for her to avoid the pain of missing you. It would mostly cause very complicated situations between you two. You can't just ignore the history you two share.

So, what should you do now? That is up to you. Do you want to meet up with her, even if it just one last time? What do you feel towards her now? Does meeting up seem like a good plan to you?
Answer these questions honestly and you'll give yourself the answer.

[Klaatu51]

give it a try... she might be a good and valuable friend... ain't nothing 2 lose :)