To an extent. I think there are dating leagues, but not in the same way that most people see it.
"She's really pretty, she's out of my league" isn't valid.
Being in two separate worlds socially, a girl clearly stating preferences/standards that you don't fit into, and various other social issues I think are valid reasons why dating leagues exist.
I happened to find this article talking about Hooters girls (or "Hooters girl material") and what it takes to get with one, and basically the message from both girls and guys (including a few Hooters girls themselves) say that unless the guy is a real smooth talker, then there's not much of a chance that one of those types of girls will stray too far out of her norm- which would be the fit, attractive, obviously confident guys. I don't think it's an insecurity as long as it's not said in self-pity. It's more of an observation. Most beautiful and extremely attractive girls go for ones that are also at the top. I've seen this countless times and I'm sure you have too. It's just reality.
And things that aren't looks related would be if you are in two separate social circles or environments. An example could be me. I liked this one girl back in high school, but I wasn't at all in the "popular scene" while this girl was. I was sort of a quiet loner and was only an acquaintance to many. Circumstances that put people in different situations like that are where I think it's also tough to really make something happen. I never tried to make anything out of it because she hardly knew who I was anyway. Yes that was my fault and doesn't really fit with what I'm saying here. But what I mean is that if people are in vastly different social circles/statuses/etc., then it's not only unlikely that they'd ever meet or be close to each other, but their is that tension or apprehension. Plus, when you are used to a certain type of lifestyle and people in it, then it's odd and uncomfortable for many to stray outside of that. People are tribal and stick with what they can deal with.
As much as I don't like sounding like a downer, I don't see the Cinderella story happening too often in real life. So with that, I'll end this ridiculously long, geeky answer :)77 Reply- +1 y
This was helpful, thank you. :]
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4th para, +1
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I agree with you. As much as I want to believe that the beauty and beast story will come true but It won't. Attraction is all about looks and If you are avg or under you most likely do not have a chance of finding anyone. IF you have than you are one of the lucky ones.
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im sorry I have to diagree with the whole concept of he/she is out of my league. no one is out of anyones league why place someon above you when were all alike. this is just projecting your own insecurities love yourself and be comfortable with who you are and den no one will be out of youir league. however we do have different tastes...and if I ain't someones taste I don't get upset I just think o well they don't know what their missing out on because I fink I'm great lol and I just move lol.
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Anonymous(36-45)+1 yyes definitely. I am only attracted to girls I find attractive...i wouldn't waste my time on other girls. I used to use uglier ones for sex but eventually I realized it wasn't nearly as satisfying as getting with a girl who is worth getting with. I would not waste my time anymore on a girl who I consider less than a 7. I just lose interest if they're not physically appealing to me.
at the same time though there are hot girls out there who would reject me in a relationship, most likely because I am a slacker/unmotivated which makes me a "loser" through their eyes. I can't even complain. so before you say I am shallow or an asshole I already know I am out of girls' league too.
so yes "leagues" definitely do exist.20 Reply
- 331 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
+1 yHmmm this is hard question to answer. I believe there are people who won't date me because they think they are "hotter" than me when in reality they are not as attractive as they think they are or I don't find them attractive.In high school, some many popular guys just thought they were so hot when in reality they were ugly as sh*t and only got girls because they were popular and rich. A lot of people think they are in some high league when in reality, most of us fall in the middle. For someone to be "out of my league" I think people would have to unanismously vote someone who I find attractive to be hotter than me for that to happen. Take for example, Brad Pitt. If Brad Pitt wasn't famous and he was just some regular dude that I was dating it would probably go something like this:. A lot of women see me with him, A lot of women deem him super-mega-hot, a lot of people would question why he is with an average girl and claim that I got someone "out of my league" when in reality, I just see him as a normal dude. I don't think there are really leagues unless you are super hot or ugly then pretty much anyone who you would date would fall in the middle therefore not in the same league as you.
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+1 yIn theory yes, in practice no. My reason is that you get many people from different walks of life, and Not every muscular man with great body and perfect looks, wants to be with a blond big titted, air head.
Not every intellectual Girl wants to be with someone who is matching in her intelligence. I do believe birds of a feather tend to flock together, but that there will be ones who will always spread their wings and go for something 'different' (think of the example if the film HAPPY FEET)
We've all seen that couple right, where we've gone, 'How did they manage to get together he/she is WAY out of her/his league.
What's more I think as human beings we individually create our own leagues. Like I might see a guy who I think is gorgeous, but feel that there is no point because there's no way in hell he'd like me, and I'd be wasting my time, I'm not good enough for him and way out of his league. While he actually may like me and decide I am completely in his league.34 Reply- +1 y
True, I agree with that.
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It sucks that this happens, it really does. I feel too intimidated by girls that I'm genuinely interested in to even make an approach.
+1 yYeah, I think my guy's out of my league. There's a reason why he checks out other women instead of looking at me, and why all the girls choose to hit on him. I mean like, leaning up on him, asking him what cologne he uses. Other guys check me out, but they don't go that far! Heh, maybe I should date one of them instead.
01 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
23Opinion
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yDepends.
I dated a guy last year who was such a brain that I felt like a clueless idiot around him. He wanted to talk about this most obscure stuff that I had absolutely no knowledge of. And he would always bring up random tidbits in conversation out of sheer nervousness, not to be arrogant. He was a nice friend but too brainy and not street smart enough for me. So that dating experience was a bit uncomfortable and discerning for me and left me feeling like I was "out of his league."
But no, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league and I don't think anyone's out of mine. But I also believe in never settling. I do wish guys would approach me because I'm friendly and sweet, for the most part. And I'm not overly judgmental in the looks or smarts department.118 Reply
Opinion Owner+1 yI wouldn't mind it ordinarily, but it happened ALL the time. I think our interests were too diverse that we just weren't compatible.
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Thanks for your opinion!
What do think of crossing social circles and such, though?
Opinion Owner+1 yYou're welcome. And I've dated guys who could be considered jocks and guys who could be considered nerds. Both have their pros and cons. Social calibration is more hard to come by in smarter guys though, generally, since they tend to be more shy. I prefer someone who sits in the middle (think Venn diagram) of the social "circles" I guess.
Opinion Owner+1 yI mean just that. I'm not going to be with someone out of sheer loneliness. If I'm not feeling it or he isn't, then there's no point in wasting either of ours' time. And I don't understand how me never settling intimidates guys? I don't go around saying that every 5 seconds. It should be understood. I know what I deserve. Hence, I'm not going to settle for less.
Opinion Owner+1 yI probably come off that way on here. But my actions and demeanor in-person are more true to who I am. People are so quick to judge me on here it's funny so I don't take any of the criticism or compliments seriously anymore.
- +1 y
what do you mean never settling ?
Opinion Owner+1 yI mean not lowering my standards = not settling. And yeah right Brando you're a twig. I could easily make you tap out. ;)
Opinion Owner+1 yCannons, eh? Ain't got nothin' on my guns. ^_^ But all I need to do is put you in the sleeper hold with my ginormous thighs.
Opinion Owner+1 y>:D
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lol I do this all the time, I start talking about really out-there concepts / ideas and my friends can't follow
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yLogically? No, I don't. Personally? Yeah, but only because of self-esteem issues. The idea of someone being 'out of your league' is false; the concept exists only in our heads, because we have low opinions of ourselves, or we believe the other person is better than us in some way. However, we're all human, we all screw-up, and nobody's perfect...we just have to get that through our heads first! ;D
20 Reply
+1 yyeah. someone extremely outgoing would be out of my league, or a guy who has too many girls following her, since I don't really enjoy all the drama that fallows. But I don't really think it's looks that are out of the league. plenty of ugly people end up with the best looking, it's a matter of personality.
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+1 yYes & No
Yes maybe by assumptions, popularity & anything like that but overall no because nobody's perfect. So what if two people come from completely different worlds, it doesn't make one person better than the other10 ReplyYeah. I've never asked out a girl who I have actually really liked and taken a real genuine interest in because I felt all of them were too good for me.
32 Reply- +1 y
I totally agree with you man, I feel too 'inadequate' to approach any of the girls that I truly truly like; it feels like I'd just be a waste of their time
no. it really only depends on the personality of a person... Like the most beautiful girl in the world may be a total ass bitch and everyone may not like ehr and stuff you get me anywho if you're a total bitch and the person you ? is like sooooooo amazing then they could still like you? bithces need love too lol YAY Bon Jovi just came on, anywho, no one is ever out of any ones league were all people and we all deserve a chance at everything
10 ReplyYes and no, people normally feel more comfortable around people that are similar to them ie, rich, good looking smart ect, tend to group together. However, I have seen people that are for an example super good fall for some one who is not.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yWomen are willing to date men who are less attractive then them, but men are not. Men are obsessed with looks, & women look at the inside. So there is a league, but men are the only ones who care about it.
00 Reply- 497 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
+1 yI do believe I'm out other guys' league and some guys are out of my league. But I guess anything is possible..
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yYes. some people aren't meant to be because they're not on the same page in life
examples
1. Someone with an ivy league education, 6 figure job and someone who dropped out of hs
2. A supermodel with the world's ugliest man01 ReplyOnly in the sense that I'm out of most people's leagues. I'm aware of how conceited that sounds, I've got high standards.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yFor chicks, yes. Guys won't date down or even date even. For guys, no. They can land someone attractive with nearly any other trait. Looks are female's only desirable trait.
12 Reply- +1 y
I agree with this to an extent, Attractive girls catch my eye but I'll never date a bitch or someone I don't share any interests with
Opinion Owner+1 yBut common interests or Personality won't help her out ant if she's not hot to begin with...
+1 yI dont.. but all the girls seem to think theyre out of my league.
11 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yNope! We all have qualities and we were all put on this earth for a grand purpose. Only a shallow person would believe this. In my opinion, people who believe this expression have low self-esteem and use expressions like this against others to feel better about themselves by making others feel bad.
00 ReplyNo one is out of my league, just people who don't get me.
00 ReplyStupid. How can you have a ranking system of personalities?
00 ReplyDefinitely I mean I'm pretty sure Ryan Gosling is wayyy outta my league.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yNO! Everybody has qualities, it's a shame that these qualities are only noticed as we become more mature. Looks aren't everything
10 ReplyI like the Movie ,
No I don't Believe in it , There's No such Thing..00 Reply
+1 yNo, if you believe that you'll never be able to get anyone 'out of your league'.
00 ReplyI completely believe it, sadly in my eyes most girls are out of my league lol
11 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yI never met someone who was in my range so yes.
Never met a person I felt was dateable.10 Reply
+1 yShe's not good enough to be in my league.
10 ReplyNo I don't think anyone is out of anyone's league.
10 ReplyYeah, I'm on a league of my own ;)
00 Reply
+1 yHmmm...not that much.
00 Reply
+1 yPfft, everyone's outta mine :D
01 Reply- +1 y
That is, my league is above everyone else's :P
2.7K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic. No, and neither should you! ; - )
00 ReplyAfter being in an appropriate situation...Yes
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yYes. For guys and girls.
00 Reply- 433 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
+1 yYes.
10 Reply
+1 yI do,but rarely
00 Reply
+1 yNo.
00 Reply
+1 yNope that saying is bullsh*t. Opposites attract.
02 ReplyYes.
00 Replynope I don't.
00 Reply
+1 yOf course!
00 Reply856 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic. yeah.
00 ReplyYes.
10 Replyyeah
00 Reply
+1 ynahhhhhhh (:
00 ReplyNope
00 Reply
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