For the people who doesn't know what cat calling is, here there is the definition:
It is the act of shouting harassing and often sexually suggestive, threatening, or derisive comments at someone publicly.
This is something that usually happen to girls, a lot of girls when they are in the streets receive this type of harassment and I think that this have to stop, because it is an harassment, it make girls uncomfortable and it makes girls afraid to walk alone in the streets. Because of this girls are always careful to what they are wearing, some of us try to wear clothes who make us invisible, because of the horrible treatment we receive.
A lot of men still see women as an object of pleasure, but it is not like that, we are human being like then and we need to receive the same treatment as them. In 2021 it is unbelievable that things like this continue to happen, it is unbelievable that we have to "hide" ourself because a stupid person think that shouting to us is a compliment.
To scream in the street to someone it's not a compliment. I hope everyone will understand this. Some ''men'' find entertaining to shout to a girl until the girl who is receiving this treatment is his mother, sister, wife etc... In that case that isn't funny anymore...
If you are a men and you did it in the past, please don't do it anymore.
What do you think about catcalling? Girls do you see that as a compliment or not?
Updates
+1 y
I read all the answer on this question and I am grateful that there are a lot of men who think that cat calling is not a good thing to do. At the same time I read some answer about people who think that catcalling is normal, to this people I want to ask: what would be your reaction if a woman important to you is cat called? How would you feel?
Let's you know you're being noticed and appreciated. It may not be the most polite way too let someone know they are looking good, but I've been on the recieving to end of such fanfare, and it didn't scar me in the least. In fact, if the cercumstances had been reversed, I would have done the same thing in their place, since those FEMALE G. I.'s were in the same boat we were, them not seeing men for 7 weeks, us not seeing woman for 7 weeks, and if I were looking at a naked female showering outside not 10 feet away from me, I probably would have needed my buddies too hold me back too. Standng there, making the most of my 45 seconds of showering under the potable water spigot, I knew that red haired lady would devour me whole if her buddies lost their grip on her, while she pointed at my pubes, yelling "I want that!!! Dibs on the ginger haired sausage!!!" I was just as horny as she was, but she was dressed, and I was rinsing the suds off, leaving me totally exposed, half hoping she might break free of her friends grip on her, knowing I would break free from her grip if she got a hold of me, any more than she would break free if mine, if she got loose from the girls restraining her. If those girls were not catcalling us, they would have probably been shipped to too the nearest medivac evac station for immediate emergency medical triage, too determine if they were still alive.
Catcalling is just plain stupid, you won't attract any woman by catcalling them it just makes you look stupid , usually low IQ idiots do it to look cool.
"Catcalling" displays a lack of social skill, is cringy, and functions more as an expression of the man's arousal rather than a genuine compliment to the woman. Catcalling can also bring awkward, unwanted attention to the woman when done in public places with many people as well. This only makes the woman more likely to ignore or get angry at the catcaller. The combination of the man being a stranger and others noticing the woman after she's been catcalled makes for a very uncomfortable situation. Simply put, if a man finds a woman attractive, he should approach her as a gentlemen and talk to her or at least compliment her looks respectfully, which requires some confidence and social skill. Catcallers are very likely to lack true confidence and social skill and are perhaps more likely to gain their "confidence" to catcall from drugs or alcohol. That just makes the situation even more risky.
Well, it really depends on the approach and what is being said. I've been catcalled while I was eating a popsicle at 16 outside with my mom by some guys in their car. Kept saying lots of sexual inappropriate things. Now that's fucked up since I was underage and that is super inappropriate. However, as I got older, I've dressed nicely before and had guys tell me how hot or beautiful I look. I take those as compliments. But only if they give me a compliment and stop there. If they start following me, or say inappropriate things or try to get my attention when I am obviously not interested, now that's harassment and it is annoying for sure. I love compliments especially when I try hard to look good. But, I do not like to be followed, be screamed at inappropriate sexual comments or be harassed cause some guys don't know the definition of "I am NOT interested".
So if we are talking " now " I find it horrendous honestly , its a sign of ignorance , poor social skills , lack of education , it never achieves anything anyhow , and its a relationship to the wolf whistle. However , Im unfortunately pretty old , around 1977 when I was 16 still around 21 , I couldnt go out without being screamed at my women , pinched on the arse in public transport etc etc , now you might think " Oh Great " , but really it wasn't great at all , I never really knew the " fan club " , it was a different time , some were just too young , others just too over the top , they found my phone number ( was silent ) they turned up at the door , they yelled at the station , I was stalked though shopping centres , at the beach , if I was at a party theyd stay at the front , smoking cigarettes. It was not fun at all a massive impost that I just learned to live with. So extreme example I appreciate , but what may start as harmless in these extreme cases , becomes something I absorbs your entire life. Its not a good thing to do to anyone , yell out , wolf whistle , cat call , its really poor form.
'Cat calling' is a derogatory term for artless expression of male physical attraction to how you physically merchandize yourself. If the term 'merchandize' offends you... set aside your self-imagery and consider that each day you 'dress' to AFFECT the first impressions and their response to seeing you.
IF on a subliminal level, you CAN predispose those you encounter to consider you 'stunning' or 'formidable WHY would you NOT do it?
I had been a municipal police officer patrolling the 'gentrified' section of downtown Burlington VT early twilight on an early Fall evening in 1982, when a young woman literally STRUTTED purposefully past a sidewalk Café' with impeccable make-up, in stiletto heels & hosiery, clad in little more than a black diaphanous ankle-length negligee with side slits to her waist. Her destination yet to be imagined.
The fierce confidence she portrayed precluded ANYONE from impeding her travel and doubtlessly inspired envious fantasies of every male who'd seen her! She 'OWNED' her inadvertent audience---
See, you have this all wrong... do not think that it is only women who are subjected to this. Not talking about who most men on here would fantasize would be doing this to them, as their wet dream surely progresses. No, think about it in terms of unwanted sexual attention from someone you don't want it from like... oh the same dudes that do it to you.
How do you think I feel when about a bunch of those dudes are cat calling me out wanting a piece of my ass now... like specifically in front of all my friends and wife... Calling you over to give ‘em a blowjob! Is it really that difficult for women to understand how that would feel to me as a straight and married male?
Show some damn empathy unless you have no concept what that is. You think that it was bad for you, that shit had me questioning my own sexuality! Like is there something about me that screams “If you are gay, feel free to hit on me.”
After an awfully long time and having thought back on it… like every time I do get that extra unwanted male attention… I finally got what they would all say to me… “Do you have any idea how pretty you are?” That was all it was, they find my pretty… ok, I can live with that… so, I will just stand over in the corner and be “pretty.”
Even though my wife finds it humorous… that shit gets old. (That is why I hate to post my actual picture anywhere… and the fact it can be stolen to be used to post shit I would be horrified over.) But I will grit my teeth and just take it as a compliment and even return one… like “nice shirt” and just walk away. There is no reason to escalate things by getting all dramatic, it just makes things worse.
Funny thing is, I have never had a problem with girls doing that to me! “Yeah! Glad you love my ass! You want me to go down on you… Shit. I’m like married… like don’t tempt me.” Also, it has never ever happened, and I doubt it ever would… since girls kinda know what that shit is like.
It's an arkward place because it's providing a playful compliment but I guess we should start talking about compliment consent. I think if you know the person it could be quite different for them to be playful but strangers more creepy and weird... Maybe it's also the way it's done, instead of a whistle and "hey sexy" maybe its "you really look good today, nice outfit"
But I honestly think this needs to be addressed and talked about, maybe even a ted talk or something based on the whole concept of it
Ok, so gag is weird with posting links, it breaks them sometimes... First link is a ted talk on every day sexuality I think that type of thing is what we need. The second is girls actually catcalling guys 😂 although it's more humorous.
But I don't think catcalling is normal, you don't see it every day and you can hate me but if girl said I had a nice butt as I walked by, I'd probably enjoy it.
But I say that, knowing where you are coming from. Women's bodies are viewed as sexual objects and to a degree with a women's shape they are naturally like that in a way. So much art work has been done on the female body. But I get it, you want to walk outside and treated like any person or guy walking across the street.
And this is what I think should be discussed at full length! What are the boundaries of a compliment? What is good and what is bad? To really take the time to iron that out. Because I think it's good to call it and define it what it is. To see down with a group and discuss how would should interact with them and be respectful of their boundaries. Like consent for sex we should also be having a type of social consent and that's a topic I would really like to see talked about.
Again, I don't support catcalling but I'd like to see what a respectful definition of a social compliment would and should look like.
I totally understand and I also agree with what you are saying, if someone tell me that I am beautiful I would thank him, but that depend on the voice tone he is using, the thing is saying. If someone while I walk in a street start to shout at me I won't feel completed at all...
And I agree with that too!!! I feel like this is an interesting thing to talk about 🤔 like a high school or college paper even... I feel like this is always brought up as a topic of tension but I feel like, something like a mytake could be amazing... But I feel like it was done before in someway... But girls doing their own opinions not saying it's wrong but what should it look like and how it's wrong now and what could correct it... Imagine if you could do a powerful mytake with idea like that, you could Inspire something and just a movement. It's a grandiose idea but even if two guys on here listen and many others pass the word, it's an amazing start! You plant a seed! I would love to see girls talk about this this, saying why it makes them uncomfortable and how this should look in a respectful way. To me, thats a more powerful and effective message.
I think cat calling is for adolescents and drunks. It's absolutely unacceptable for the reasons you described. I want women to be comfortable in their own skin and to be able to feel good about their appearance when they are in public. Cat calling ruins that. As you said, it makes women afraid and uncomfortable. They shouldn't have to hide their femininity.
That being said, cat calling takes different forms. If it's rude, vulgar or threatening, it's unacceptable. But milder forms may merely be intended as compliments and not perceived as scary by most women. Some women might even get an ego boost from good natured compliments.
You should know that most men do not do this kind of thing. Only really shitty ones... Not all women dislike it either.. Some like the attention. Again not all. Bottom line is this. Your post on here won't stop the bad ones.. I am sorry to say, its just not going to happen.. As much as i dislike the ones that do it..
Additionally the videos you see that feminists tout as rampant harassment are images of them walking through the absolute worst part of towns, and usually chopped together from hours and hours of footage.. Most places in most cities, it doesn't happen. The lower income the area, the trashier the area, the more common it will be. Some of the videos you see have even been staged.
And contrary to what you believe most women have not experienced it.. At least not where i live.. Its a big city issue and not an issue everywhere.
I think it is stupid. Even as a guy myself I can certainly see why some people would try to catcall someone else and I have even seen some girls try it as well. In my opinion yes it is obviously a direct approach but most of the time it is not going to work and it makes me wonder what goes on in some peoples heads that they think its okay to call people they don't know many names essentially labeling them and probably upsetting the other person to the point where the other person normally gets a kick or a punch to the sensitive areas or if its a girl doing it to a guy you just respectfully walk away and if they keep trying one of my personal favorite things to is take a pretend phone call and then I just start speaking Spanish and pretend that I do not understand English lol.
I have never done this. I don't think it is appropriate. The only thing I can think of to justify this would be as part of a role playing game initiated by the girl because she fantasizes about this happening which I would guess is rare if it happens at all. I have never known of a girl who would react positively to this by approaching the guy (s) doing it and then flirting with them, asking for their number etc. Therefore what would be the point? Perhaps they watch their Dad's abuse their Mom's and think of it as a form of entertainment. Truly I'm at a loss.
It is wrong and I am totally against it. Then again so is poverty and aids yet neither of those are going anywhere. No amount of laws is going to stop someone from being stupid and doing stupid things. You just have to be comfortable in your own skin and either ignore the catcalling or confront the person doing it when it happens. In life there are times when you are able to take action to correct things that happen to you and times when you cannot. Change what you can and deal with what you can't.
"A lot of men still see women as an object of pleasure, but it is not like that, we are human being like then and we need to receive the same treatment as them."... Men like looking at women not see them as objects.. And catcalling can be anything from "hey baby, you lookin good today" to just about anything.. Most times it's not actual harassment, just comments that some horny dudes who have no filter make when they see a woman they are attracted to.. I personally think it's tasteless, and shouldn't happen, but most women are just annoyed, and in some cases are flattered by it, and are not walking around the streets afraid for their lives..
It may not be actual harassment, but making horny public comments still comes off as weird.
" 'A lot of men still see women as an object of pleasure, but it is not like that, we are human being like then and we need to receive the same treatment as them.'... Men like looking at women not see them as objects.. "
@UncleJessieRabbit It most definitely is weird.. I personally don't like it.. I think it's tasteless, but most times those dudes don't bother the women more than making weird, and sometimes crude comments.. But of course..
I'm going to answer your question with a story. I was at a concert a year or two ago. I was dressed verry well, in a steam punk-goth sort of way. Top hat etc. The club was on a very busy street in Salt Lake, I was leaving the show and ran into a few women who were going to a different club and they asked about why people were dressed the way they were. As we were crossing the street together some very drunk women honked their horn at me and whisteled. I gave them an exagerated bow and kept walking. The three women I was speaking with were horified that 1 girls cat call 2 I treated it as what it was, light harted banter 3 and I just blew it off like it was nothing.
Truth is that how someone reacts says much about their personality. Yes its invasive, uncalled for but how you respond is your choice.
Not an compliment, it just makes me uncomfortable. Especially since I've had it start when I was under aged. I have an massive ass, and I hate it, and someone literally screaming at me from behind about it is the worst Had guys do this from their cars too and that is definitely threatening. Honking and screaming inappropriate things... I can't see how that would make anyone feel positive But then again maybe I'm the weird one 🤷♂️
@mrfoox The only time I've seen catcalling is when a bunch of construction workers says things to women walking by. I've never seen it from a car but it sounds awful! You're not the weird one! Have you ever had men of your age catcall you?
I don’t see it as a compliment at all tbh. If anything it makes me feel violated and uncomfortable. I thought it would’ve stopped after I turned thirty but here I am, about to turn 37 and still getting catcalled. Believe me, I won’t be missing it when it stops.
Annoying and awkward. I would never talk to someone who catcalled me. At most I give a weird look their way. Luckily, I do not find it intimidating or scary for me to walk on the street, risk of anything really dangerous happen is still low.
I think it's fun but we don't have it here in Japan. I think it mostly a lower-class phenomenon in the US. I think it's all right. Maybe girls shouldn't take things so personally.
That would be better, because some kids see, grown men doing that in the street and see that as a normal thing, so they need to know that it is not a normal thing to do
I prefer to fortify the women and make them badass. It's like the fatherly way when you see a bully victim, even the son. The mother wants to call a PTA meeting, protect the child, and I'm like, "Let's teach him how to throw a punch!" You know, I'm into that way. Cause I don't have such an optimistic view of the world without bullies, or catcallers, or whatnot. I'm not optimistic about people individually becoming strong enough to resist these things and shrug and laugh them off.
If you see a woman or girl being cat-called, unless they're physically attacking her or if that's your wife / girlfriend, walk away or ignore it. Being a "hero" isn't always wise. This is real life, not Hollywood, and every is brave until a Glock 19 is randomly pulled out. This can be applied anywhere in the world. You could be stretched for your "bravery" while the girl lives. Again, if it's your wife or girlfriend (depending on how much you love her) then it would be worth potentially throwing your life away, but for a woman or girl you don't know? You think about...
I don't think I ever did catcalling in my life. If I want to compliment a girl I usually go up to her say how good she looks or dresses in a respectful way. I do see some people or sadly my friends catcall a girl and I usually roll my eyes or look the other way but I do feel I should intervene now that it is a form of sexual harassment.
first your conflating catcalling and stalking to inflate the magnitude of your complaint, that is my major issue with your post. Your exploiting the grey area because you hate men.
If a man (or woman) sees a hot ass babe or dude jogging or whatever they should feel free to whistle nicely or say "lookin good", etc. If you don't like it that's up to you but you should not imply that people can't voice a physical or romantic compliment to a passing stranger. Obviously threats or "crazy" whistling are not included in this. I know I am old, but a long time ago people were not so uptight and you could legitimately get a positive response or even a date by so called catcalling. And by the way women do it all the time but no one flakes still out even when it is usually the old fat ones.
I think it's rude, but at the end of the day, there are far worse problems to have. When a girl complains about getting cat-called too much, it comes off like a rich person whining about how people only love them for their money.
If you cat call im going to assume that you have never got laid. If you come at me saying you cat call and you've gotten laid then I will not believe it was consensual because I refuse to believe that someone with such little respect for other people would.
A long time ago there was a construction company doing work and the men would catcall some women who walked by. The women complained and the city told them to stop it.
I knew a woman who enjoyed catcalling. She said it made her feel sexy and important. It's interesting that if you take 10 women who were catcalled and 9 of them objected and 1 enjoyed it.
No. I do not see it as a compliment and it's rather annoying.
It's also really disturbing to be catcalled at 13 years of age, by grown men, because it's now obvious that my body was developing. Very sexual and rude comments to a literal child.
I have no problems with it, it's a mutually beneficial thing that both men and women do in the Caribbean Islands. Only a few people find it repulsive when it's not the person who they want to call at them, and we will aways find the ones who goes way overboard with it but it's mostly acceptable in the right time and place.
It can be a joke among friends, but it is naturally uncomfortable for randos (random people) to hit on you. Some women look pleasant, but just because she looks pleasant doesn't mean she is. Women may be less vocal, but random women approaching you without introduction or conversation is also uncomfortable. I don't go for randos, if I know her then I'm willing to know her better.
No, I actually don't do that and haven't in the passed, has never been my thing. Oh, and FYI, ladies: if other girls stop responding positively to it, guys will stop doing it. Just like any other field of marketting - the product is NEVER to blame, ONLY the customers are. Don't like it? Stop buying it, it doesn't get any simpler :)
If there was a more effective method I would think the millions of men would make that well known. Guys tend to want to help other guys improve there chances with women. Modern day honor.
I've been getting catcalled since I was a child. I've never liked it. I don't mind an occasional non-creepy compliment, but there's definitely a difference.
I've never done anything like this in my life but I do know guys that have done it and admit to doing it, I don't see the appeal of it myself and I know for a fact that it's very degrading for women. I think people should keep those wild thoughts to themselves and should never vocalize them... Like.. its really crazy... it's a complete stranger... Why are people like this...
I used to teach college-level Women's self defense. NOT the crotch! Street jerks EXPECT it. 4-6" higher to the pubic bone. Bruise or break it. Can't run, chase or harass you if they CAN'T walk! And, takes FAR longer to heal and one hellova conversation starter~
Catcalling specifically is slightly creepy and weird for either sex, but a lot of women are just as guilty as lot of men for the sour society we now live in. I believe *some men and women do enjoy it though and see it as compliment. This really seems to be a gendered discussion by what the content in your question implies.
I consider myself a "ladies man". I never cat call. I think it is demeaning, gross, and disrespectful. I've had women cat call me and I felt violated. Never do this guys. Approach. Be direct. Shoot your shot.
It’s not ok. Admiring a girl’s beauty or sexyness is one thing, but there’s appropriate way to go about doing it. Cat calling is just flat out immature, inappropriate, and makes me think very lowly of a person whenever I see it.
I think it's fine for guys and girls to check each other and comment with friends But i think catcalling is crossing the "respect" line that you should have for the other person Either if it's a girl or a guy
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I remember when these boys from my HS would catcall me and it would be piss me off because I always saw them on my way home from school every time I saw them it was always the same one guy who would call me baby and I just wanted to attack him for being such a creep. This isn't ok behavior how pathetic do you have to be to impress your friends?
Funny to me. Women catcalled me a few times. Seen instances where in some situations it can be demeaning depending on how it is done. Some instances where a joke is involved in the call after getting someones attention or some where it is completely sexist towards the opposite gender. Some sides to where is flattering and the other where is is annoying/disrespectful. It just depends.
I think catcalling is very lowlife behavior. I'm sorry women have to deal with it.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I hate catcalling, I have to prepare for it every time that I go out, the other day I got catcalled you know what I did as usual I showed him middle finger and he was pissed 😂😂😂
Ofc I've done it. Girls usually like it. But you describe it as "screaming" and "threatening". Thats not accurate. That would describe me literally screaming "im going to beat you up". Lmfao. When really its talking loud enough a woman can hear you from a distance you saying a complement. Give me a fucking break.
Ya, easier to see that stuff in big city unfortunately. I live in Toronto and see it constantly and has happened to me many times. Especially downtown.
Yeah, some dudes just. They just don't understand a limit and really need a release. That's y I hope in the future marriage doesn't exist. I do believe in soulmates but not marriage.
'It's ok to be a sexual person. Just don't cheat. Be a hoe, don't be a bitch. Ur just fucking it up for all the good folks.' --by me
I got catcalled a few times when I was in better shape. (I was told I had the body of a greek god while running one day by a group of girls, and gay men used to do it sometimes). It's a confidence boost is what it is. That said, I don't catcall because I don't want women feeling good about themselves. I think it's valuable to always make women doubt if men find her attractive.
I think that if someone want to do a compliment he or she can do it, the problem is when the compliments become threatening and disgusting, I hate people who shout at me, that is not the right way to receive my attention.
They were in a car and slowed down to shout at me, even circling around the block to ask me if I wanted to ride with them. I like my kidneys firmly in my body, so I declined, but still, they were very flattering organ harvesters. But complimenting people doesn't actually work. I'll strike up conversations, and although I was joking in my earlier response, I rarely actually compliment anymore.
What you experienced was cat calling. In my question I talk about girls not because I thing that only women are cat called, I am aware that it is a thing that happen to men too. I focused this question on women just because we are the one who are more subjected to it.
Yeah, I just find it weird since I loved it. I have a hard time relating to how it is a negative. It's like suddenly everyone is upset that their chicken nuggets came with an extra nugget, and I just don't get it.
Of course, but that's not the message that's sent out. If a guy comes up, looks you in the eyes, and in a gentle voice asks you if you want to take a motorcycle ride is it any better than if he shouts it from across the street? Probably not, but the message is, "don't shout things from across the street" not "don't be fucking stupid with your dumbass failure of a pickup line."
If you live in the middle east, it happens 10 times per day. You also could get chased on your way home, or cars would stop for you as if you are a hooker. Can't wait to leave this place for Europe.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Losers do that to gain attention of someone out of league, or feel entitled to since they lack manners
@update dont forget that women catcall too. and a lot of time is a little more negative when women do it for the fact that they only tend to catcall you when you got valuable things on you
I think it's unacceptable and inappropriate. And really shows that some dudes just don't know how to approach a woman and just have a real conversation get to know the person. It's not that hard.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
i almost busted 3 pakis in the head when they were sexually harrassing some woman (who was walking in front of them) a few years ago. when i heard them talking rude comments about her and laughing i turned to look at them like i was ready to kill them and they immediately shutted up and kept walking. luckily she was long gone by that point
I think that males who catcall are obnoxious retarded shitbags, which means that a sizeable chunk of the female population will get the tingles for them.
I have been catcalled a few times but i really did not mind but that is not to say that they should have been doing it or that other girls/women feel the same way as i did/do.
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