Do you think its a bad idea to care about people online like unconditionally?

[Still-alive]

So i just generally care about most people i come in contact with and get to know a bit. On an unconditional level where i generally care about well being and how they are feeling. In one of my other questions I mentioned that i was a sort of empath and feel like i can be in tune with other’s emotions a little easier.

Even though i have not met any of the people i chat with on here i just care. People say to not care so much but i can't help it. It used to tear me up when people leave and i never see or speak to them again. Im a lot better with this now where it might hurt still but it won't destroy me now like it used to.

of course it goes without saying that i do not extend this sentiment to any racists bigots and the like. Those types i can't respect or care for ever.

anyways what do you think?

Yes its bad

Sometimes its bad sometimes its good

Its good

Updates

+1 y

The thing is that i had always had this but for awhile in thought i had lost my compassion and when I rediscovered it it made me feel whole again. This is who i am!

Updates

+1 y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg

what the world needs now...

[tatianamay]

aw man, i do this all the time. like literally all the time. My parents and grandparents and all other elders have told me that it's an amazing trait and that its a good thing that i care about people. Not many people have this type of personality. Like once on reddit there was this guy who was mentally abused by his own mum and he wrote a comment and im thinking how can i help this guy? and i started reading all his comments and suddenly a wave of sadness washed over me. I don't know why im like this but since i care a lot about others even if they're strangers, my mood also gets affected. i met this dude who was depressed and i actually tried helping him out. I was kinda depressed for a few days after talking to him, but im ok now. its nice to know that there's someone out there who's in the same situation as me, who can empathize with people and help em out. One of my friends told me that im like a baby when it comes to emotional stuff, im like so soft and sensitive and stuff, which is true, but i just call it being a human being who simply has the capacity to empathize with people and try to understand what they're going through

[tatianamay]

but most of them have taken advantage of me and walked all over me, i can't help but try to empathize with em tho. ill still continue to help em in whichever way i can. ill do everything in my power to make them feel safe and better. just like you, i ignore all the racists and bigots, idgaf about them

[Still-alive]

I know it sucks when people take advantage. you'll get better at recognizing the signs before that happens at some point. This has been my experience as a part empath

[tatianamay]

yep, it sucks big time and nowadays, i kind of have a feeling whenever people start ignoring me. Deep down, i get a feeling that something's wrong and im right almost every time :/

[Miah02]

I think it's sweet that you care about people in general.

Will people take advantage at times?
Yes.

But don't let that change you.

And online or not it's still a person you are speaking to.
Sadly a lot of people forget this to be the case

[Still-alive]

Yeah i got enough backbone and wit in me to realize when someone is taking clear advantage of my generosity.

I freely give mine to people unless they proven to be like that

[Miah02]

I'm glad.
But it is a good trait to be so caring

[ChrisMaster69]

I’ve found with online things, you often develop a fairly strong emotional bond.

I've met a lot of people I’ve made friends with over the years.

Even been to a wedding and a funeral.

I do get concerned about some people, to me it’s simply natural that those we interact with in the online and real world, we offer friendship and caring.

I greatly respect a number of people on here and have made it clear in the past.

I never expect anything in return, although answering DMs would be a start 😂😂

Im a Mod on a UK car forum and we had a guy come down with a cancer, even though a lot had not met him, we had chatted online and all rallied around to support him and his family.

to me it’s just being human and caring about others.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Still-alive thanks most appreciated

[hahahmm]

Yeah. A person like you needs to limit contact with strangers to almost zero. Until you learn to have moderation. Even most normally 'good' acting people will take advantage of people who act like doormats and always give. If you run into a con artist you'll be in BIG trouble. Checkout my MuTake on "don't be a sucker" too.

[Still-alive]

i do have moderation yes

[crazyish]

It's a good thing. I believe that it's essential to connect and interact with many others. It's good all around especially if we have any hope of surviving as a species. I used to be like this, I let it effect me too much, and like you, I hope to be able to let more people in again and not let it effect me.

The world needs people like you. You give people hope and things that they need that they didn't even know they needed. Keep being you.

[Still-alive]

Thank you for your kind words. yes i want to bring more caring into this world. im still figuring out that form that will take. itll come to me though.

[crazyish]

I believe it will too.

[DarkCarousel]

Mostly no. Just make sure you set boundaries for yourself so that you don’t get taken advantage of.
I have a fondness for certain people that I interact with often.

[DarkCarousel]

Love, sweet love!
Well, my heart is softened for another day. I’m glad to hear you have rediscovered your compassion!

[Still-alive]

yesss it wasa painful and dangerous process of self reflection and rediscovery but im happy im here now :)

[loves2learn]

I am also very empathetic and I can relate to everything you said here. I think it would tear me up if someone I interact with regularly disappeared without a trace.

[Still-alive]

yes it used to affect me deeply, but i have safe guards against that now. :)

[loves2learn]

Thanks for the warning. What are your safeguards?

[Still-alive]

well i just trry to think about it from their perspective. they might have just felt it was time to move on, or maybe they got harassed too much. whatever it is they have their reasons. and also at the end of the day you are all still online friends. even though i would think about you guys when im not on here it wouldn't destroy me if you all left suddenly. i would just think "well i wish them the best of luck in life. maybe our roads will cross again."

[loves2learn]

That is a very nice way to think about it.

[loves2learn]

Re: your update I totally sang that in my head as I read it. 🤣

[PaynefulPleasures]

I think it's so genuine how you care for others & I the same don't ever stop 🤗😘🥀

[Still-alive]

Yes its part of my personality and likely will remain this way until im gone :)

[PaynefulPleasures]

Awesome 😎

[ChrisMaster69]

Ma’am @PaynefulPleasures agreed

[PaynefulPleasures]

Sir@ChrisMaster69
Thank you

[menina]

I would say it depends. If you feel that you're close to the person and they prove that they're legit it's good to care about them. However, if you don't know if they are who they say they are, you just chat occasionally and you never saw their face then yes it's bad.

[kidvid80]

as people we are always changing, going in and outta phases, sometimes you have to go back- to go forward, growing into the person we were always supposed to be. i think you can but also i think sometimes as a good hearted person you can't always, but in the end the people that our in our lives for however long we do the best we can to treat them accordingly

[AmandaYVR]

I think your Update explains it well and says all there is to say. You don't need others' opinions on this. You know who you are, and how you want to be, and it's not causing you anguish now, so you should just live your life how you wish.

[Still-alive]

Yes i still like to at least know other’s opinions.

[Azura_88]

Depends on the person. We can't generalize but 80% of the time it's a bad idea because many people don't give AF, once their problem is solved they disappear.

[Still-alive]

Not me. Most of mine have gone away. My mental ones any way and yet i still remain:)

[Azura_88]

Seeing your update, ME TOO!!

[exitseven]

It is okay to let yourself care about people you meet online. However you must realize that they may not be who they say they are and also may have bad intentions.
There are also a lot of people who are crazy.

[Still-alive]

yes im usually cautious, however i do get selfies of them most of the time so it makes me feel better about it

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not so much a bad thing, just be careful with who you care about. Because without really knowing them, you never really know who's on the other end of that computer.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's bad to care about people online, but it's smart to remember that even if you have been talking, that's still a stranger on the other end.

[Still-alive]

Not completely but yes they only share what they want to share

[rosemilk]

It's a bit odd, but not bad at all. I know quite a few people who do that. I personally don't talk to anyone besides people I know in real life 🌸

[Still-alive]

why odd?

[WowwGirl]

Sometimes but I've met great people on here and talk to at @worldscolide and @gwenhwyfar regularly. It's been positive only with them. I trust and lv them both.

[Still-alive]

hmm i might have blocked worlscollide (or he blocked me). its not lit up like @gwenhwyfar :P

[WowwGirl]

No it does that sometimes on mine he's not a blocker type

[Aimée__LJ]

Being caring is a good thing. Human decency really.

[Still-alive]

Agreed. Sorely missing in our world still

[ChrisMaster69]

@Aimée__LJ exactly, it’s not like it takes much effort.

[Minx7282]

It's good as I'm the same. I tend to unconditionally care and have empathy towards people I haven't even met. Just shows you're a deep and caring person. Just make sure you don't get too involved where it warns you out. I have done that many times

[purplepoppy]

Your just names on a screen, I forgot there's a real person at other end sometimes

[Still-alive]

You’re definitely part of the matrix

[XimenaV]

As long as it is a healthy relationship it is perfectly fine. If you have any doubts on whether or not it is healthy you can find lots of info online and even on youtube @Psych2go

[genericname85]

the only peprson that you should love "unconditionally" is your child in the first 14 years or so.

[Still-alive]

thats not me.

[genericname85]

what does that mean?

[Still-alive]

im saying i do care about people unconditionally

[genericname85]

for whom for example?

[Still-alive]

for everyone i talk to or get to know a little.

[genericname85]

wow. you love everyone that you "know a little" unconditionally? so if you know someone for a while and you find out they're a child rapist, do you still love them? if someone that you trusted and loved murders another person that is close to you (mom/child/best friend/girlfriend), do you still love them?

[Still-alive]

ok dude no i don't love those people nor racists, bigots homophobes or anyone who harms other people. especially bullies. i have no respect for any of them.

Look im partly an empath and this extends to people that i speak with online. its who i am. don't like it, then well idgaf

[genericname85]

hey man, i'm not trying to attack you or make you look stupid. i just think people who say "they love unconditionally" don't really think about what "conditions" would be... i see "not being a murderer" or "child rapist" or "racist" as a condition for my love for a person. of course those are very extreme examples. but conditions are conditions and if you say "unconditionally", you must either mean that you'll still love someone like that or you simple didn't think of those things as conditions. but what are they if not conditions?

[Still-alive]

i mean unconditionally in a way where i respect them and its also to differentiate it from the romantic type of caring which is not what im saying here.

its just the type where im generous kind and helpful to other people particularly those who seem to need it most

[genericname85]

loving unconditionally means you love, no matter what. litterally. no matter what bad shit the person does. you still love them. if you don't do that, that means your love is conditional. and i think that's good.

[Still-alive]

ok so your issue is with the word "unconditional" then

ok so just pretend i didn't say that. what kind of caring would you call this?

[genericname85]

it's not an "issue". the word "condition" has a meaning. i was just granting you the option that you still love someone even if they did those horrible things. i don't know you. that could have been the case. i'm not judging. just making sure i understand right.

what you're saying is that you don't have many restrictions to giving out your love or respect to others. as you already said, i'd call that being empathic and maybe sum it up as "bing a benevolent person". though i would not at all call that "unconditional" at all :D i think there should be conditions to everyones love or respect except the one example i initially mentioned.

[Silas_153]

You don't really know the people online. They can tell you anything at all about themselves, completely misrepresent who they really are (ex. showing you altered or completely fake photos), and in every sense of the term are complete strangers.

[Harleigh90]

Empathy is a quailty very little have. Just don't let others take advantage.

[tatianamay]

True that!