Using “their” instead of he or she, does anyone else struggle to accept this?

[Cleo12345]

Today I read an article about Demi Lovato shaving her head and the whole way through I struggled with the fact “they” or “their” was used instead of she. This article was grammatically incorrect due to this and therefore I’m wondering if it’s really OK to refer to someone as they instead of he/she if it stuffs up the way we teach the English language and how things are written. I don’t mind if someone wants to change from a he to a she or vice versa but isn’t “they” or “their” going too far? Here is a copy of the article, see what you think.

www.instyle.com/.../demi-lovato-buzz-cut

[JCrockett]

"I don’t mind if someone wants to change from a he to a she or vice versa but isn’t “they” or “their” going too far?"

Why are you okay with he changing to she? That's just as much a violation of truth and grammar. A he cannot be a she any more than one can be many. Why do you draw a distinction? I don't. I think they're both wrong.

"They" for the third person singular is only appropriate when the individual is unknown or hypothetical. Example: "Before someone crosses the road, they should look both ways." This legitimate use is often deceptively presented to justify using they for specific individuals. To call Demi Lovato "they" is to suggest that she is an abstract, hypothetical, potential, or imaginary person, and not a real woman with an actual identity. It's literally dehumanizing, because you're saying she might not even exist. Otherwise, it would imply that she is multiple people, which is simply a lie.

[Cleo12345]

Well said!

[DCooper]

'He' and 'she' are singular pronouns. 'They' is the plural. I reject the concept of using plural pronouns to refer to a single person... unless maybe there's some kind of multiple personality disorder going on, and 'they' actually applies to one person.

[Cleo12345]

Thank you, that was what I was referring to, well said. It’s the plural usage that is the problem when referring to a single person.

[MelonSoda]

I don't understand why people need to address themselves by special pronouns. Literally just say "he/him" or "her/she". Legit any other pronoun that humans decide to go by is dumb.

[MCheetah]

I'd rather just use "they" or no pronouns altogether than to straight up humiliate myself and lie to myself by calling a man a "she/her" or a woman a "he/him" when they're clearly not.

But who gives a f*ck about Demi Lovato? She was a "never was" and clearly struggles with mental health.

[MossyMan]

Uh, it's not "grammatically incorrect" to use the pronoun "they".
It can be used whenever the gender of whoever you are talking about is either unknown or doesn't need to be specified.

I refer to my partners as "they" frequently, because I don't think it's necessary to specify their gender in most contexts.

If someone feels like their gender doesn't need to be specified, for whatever reason, then who cares.

[Cleo12345]

Yes but like @DCooper says below, “they” is plural but you are only referring to one person… this is what makes it incorrect

[AviatorTom]

It's called "Singular they" and is common practice, especially where gender is either unknown or unimportant...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

It doesn't bother me in the least, I use singular they all the time. It's b=much better than using "he/she" or "he or she".

[Levin]

I know someone's daughter who is a apparently a they. In the end it was such a verbal and politically correct minefield that I stopped bothering to ask about her.

[cth96190]

I do not accept it because it is incorrect English.
I refuse to rewrite the English language to pander to the delusions of the mentally ill.

[joeldalton]

Demi Lovato is mentally ill - along with anyone who tells you what pronouns they go by.

[Guanfei]

You're a girl, it's she. You're a guy, it's he. It's that simple.
Also, Demi Lovato is a fucking nutcase.

[Dchrls78104]

I don't. "Their" is a plural noun. "He" and "she" are singular but inconvenient. So the alternative is another singular noun: "It".

[Kingofkings1992]

Yes. I don’t like it. Don’t tell me how to talk. I will use he/she until the end of time.

[Massageman]

If someone can't figure out if they are a he or a she, then I guess it is an it.

[_no_one_]

Demi Lovato would date a ghost too if that gets her clout.

[LegendaryIcon]

Well, how would you like it if you identified as an "it", and people kept calling you a "they"

that's how she feels

[Anonymous]

It’s helping someone embrace their delusions. Demi shaved her head AFTER everyone “embraced” her new identity so whose fault is her latest mental breakdown?

[Ms_Vanderquack]

So is English not your primary language?

[Cleo12345]

English is my primary language and I am a teacher. Using pronouns such as “their” and “they” in this way makes the writing of this article incorrect.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Then you are a truly horrible teacher and should have your cardinals revoked. This shit isn’t new.

www.merriam-webster.com/.../singular-nonbinary-they

[Juxtapose]

Just don't go with the insanity.

[fireforeffect]

No, because I do not accept it.

[Anonymous]

I call her Themi.

[anylolone]

It's your choice.