Why Are Some Women Against Feminism?

Question

it doesn't make sense to me. do they hate their gender? love patriarchy? love oppression? PS Hate comments towards women or author will be deleted. If you want to say something, even something negative, keep it polite. Don't make me hate myself just for asking this around.

Msputiton · Accepted Answer

So we know there a small group of feminists who have extereme views.

Many people will ignore the 90% of real feminists and only focus on the 10% extremists.
It's what happens to black people.

Gay people, any movement what so ever.
They can't see past how angry the small pockets from that group makes them.

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

A lot of women today  think  they hate feminism. But  all  of them still enjoy the benefits and privileges that feminist efforts has afforded to them.

089Lexi · Answer

I used to be a feminist. Then I studied the bible and learned a lot of things that I didn't know before because I wasn't religious. It's the main reason why I decided to let go of feminism.

I'm still learning, but in the bible God has the answer about how to have a successful marriage. I'm not married by the way. I was always concerned about having a happy and successful marriage even though I didn't want to do most things guys would want a woman to do in a relationship. (I'm talking about gender roles nothing sexual lol).

But basically you shouldn't get married with the mentality of trying to get something selfish out of it. It's about putting in work, working together. We are too focused being selfish without realizing you got to sacrifice and put work into creating happiness.

Not like expecting this happiness by doing nothing (like being lazy, unreasonable, not putting work in). For it to be handed on a silver platter.

So I let go of it and I embraced the idea that I need to be the woman in the relationship (be the woman of the house). I always liked the idea of my future husband to be the man of the house (I always found that sexy).

I just had to let go of mental baggage. Another reason why I let go of feminism is because it was too much full of hate.

Feminism made me hostile and angry at everything that guys did. It made me angry at guys that did awful things to women (like the ones we should be angry with).

And it also made me angry at innocent men and prosecute them for the sins of other men. That's not right. I was hating men for no reason. Once I cut feminism out of my life I've been way less angry.

My life is actually less stressful. Yeah feminism has some good parts, I always liked Susan b Anthony. But the idea of feminism has become distorted and messed up over time. I feel feminism has lost some of it's meaning overtime.

by the way feminism is for both genders not just for women. Like I don't really see anything nice happening to men from feminism. It's all about women. That's not right. Men go through a lot too. Now I am on the other side, it's actually hard to find the kind of guy I'm looking for. Guys are so afraid now, we ruined men.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Because there is no one, agreed-upon, definition of what feminism is today. It's all mangled up, like multi-car wreck on the side of the road.

Here's a write-up I like (my version of feminism):
Edwardian Women and Feminism:
Feminism was never just about the vote. It was about the legal structure and policy change. It was about changing social norms. It was about changing societal norms about what women could dream to be. And it was about women dreaming about doing more with their lives, counting themselves in ways that society did not. So from that perspective, well beyond the vote, it was those things that people admired.

And, honestly, if you ask decent guys (and I mean decent), they can generally agree with this and support this.
The issue is that for most of the Western world, women have achieved these things. (Though not true in many other countries, and Africa.) And some women have turbo charged into a much more aggressive, combative, we want more than our share now as retribution sort of attitude. I call these 'dark feminists.'
I want to hear your personal experiences with dark feminism. And I want to know, do you think I need to get involved in this?

In order to discuss this now-heated word, definitions must be stated. Not doing so just wastes a bunch of time.
And, even when some do this, the militant males who are extremists (and bitter assholes) will deny the existence of the more honourable goals of feminism. (But those boys are wrong.) Women still have the fraction of executive positions, governmental leader positions, reduced salaries for equal work and education and experience, and much greater violent sexual assault risk.
But women have been more protected. Men have benefited from this much less.

Another thing women need to do is stop deflecting men's concerns, every time the topics of feminism, or men's rights, come up. They don't acknowledge them, and that is a huge issue of accountability, right there. There's always a follow-up with "Well yeah, but..." which is really a dismissal of what the men are saying. No bueno.

Both genders need to concede some. Extremism is bad. And there are good and poor ways to discuss things. Antagonizing and ranting will never work. Open discussions should be had though. And anyone who can't acknowledge the difficulties of the other gender, really is probably just going to be a waste of time, talking with. And yeah, I said 'with', not 'to.'

So some women being against feminism is the same as some men being against feminism. It's because they see the inequity of it as the goal, and don't see the reasonable feminism goals; or they wish to eliminate all gendering/gender roles, and see it as coddling women; or, they would prefer 'the olden days' where women worked the home, men worked the land or the office, and there was generally less competition because they weren't both having to constantly negotiate and compromise on every joint decision.

I would say, simply put, true feminism, is about safety and respect and opportunity. That's it. And we are not there yet, equal, on these fronts.

DaveJord · Answer

Well as is the case in many "Movements" a smaller percentage of the group become the loudest voice in the group... to the extent that most people just get tired of hearing.

So in regards to feminist... women had made extraordinary progress in the last 20 years, and for the most part they have achieved every goal they set out to achieved so many years ago... so at the end of the day feminist in the modern scene are no where close to what they were at the beginning and they don't really speak for more most women at large. They are just a vocal minority that make themselves the loudest voice in the coward to the extent the nobody else is heard.

Same is true for LGBTQ... you look at all the things Gays and Lesbians have fought and struggled to achieve to their movement taken over or high jacked by trans genders... who honestly are trying to piggy back on the Gay movements success. But again if looked back and truly knew how hard it was to be gay in the 1970's or 80's you would be amazed by the progress... and LGBTQ does not speak for or represent most gays.

You look at the progress the civil rights movement has achieved since the 1960... so thing hear. Black Lives Matters has piggy back or high jack a movement that has already achieved so much... its just the loudest voice in the crowd.

So at what point do all these movement become counter productive? The start out with stated goals and wants, they achieve all those things, so they pile more on to the list and then more again... to the extend that the silent majority get tired of the bullshit and speaks out, and then that loudest but smallest voice in the crowd trys to dominate the conversation... without realizing nobody cares or is listening to them.

At some point like they say, what happens on Wall Street does not translate to Main Street. Self proclaimed feminist don't speak for all women, LGBTQ doesn't speak for all gays and lesbians and Black Lives Matters doesn't represent all Black people... because other have achieves so much more in the past and and do not want to see that sacrificed for fringe groups agendas that are counters productive.

AncientWisdom · Answer

I think like many things the feminist movement started out well for the most part. Then like many movements it went awry. By that statement I mean I’ve literally watched the evolution of modern feminism. It’s no longer about equality. That ship sailed a while back. Modern feminism seems to be about male exclusion , and usurping male roles in western society. This is one of the reason their are so many unhappy people both male and female. The masculine and the true feminine are under attack. Radical feminism is an arm of the globalist movement. It is aimed at destroying the nuclear family and western society’s value system. This is causing a rise in effeminate men who are much easier to control. I mean look at all the chubby fuzzy , effeminate men that March with females
My mother was a hard core feminist. I got to see the side of that coin. (that few men get to see.) I realized as a young boy that many girls are taught all men are pigs. They just want what you’ve got between your legs and they will do anything to get it. I learned that many females are taught that men are disposable if they don’t mind get another one that will. Basically in western society females are being taught to disrespect males solely because they are born male.
Evidence of this can be seen in the legal system and culture. Example the American legal system has incentivized divorce. The courts are biased in favor of women. Western women are now the most powerful women in earth. They know they have power over men in the courts and are still screaming to anyone who will listen they want more. This is proven in the numbers approximately 1 million divorces per year. The female will take all community property house , bank accounts , vehicles etc. She will be awarded the children as well. She will likely also be awarded alimony and child support which will be 50 to 75 % of the man’s future wages to a woman that broke the deal. Here’s the numbers 1 million divorces per year , over 800 thousand are initiated by women every year they win 98 % of the time. So modern women have learned to use their reproductive organs and feminine wiles (Sexual bait ) to entrap , and enslave a man to her. The consequences of this are already being seen. Young men are seeing this and not getting married. Marriage is way down. They saw their fathers get screwed they aren’t signing up for it. Many women are waking up to the fact that modern feminism is a social tool. 78% of all suicides are men. Care to guess why they take their life? I’ll tell you a good percentage of them are men that some woman has divorced taken all her owns thrown him into the street weaponized his children , and enslaved him with the law. Many of them opt out by trying a lead diet. Example; my brother graduated married had a child on the way joined the marine corp. pulled his time so he could get the service record and va benefits for his family. He got home and discovered his wife is cheating and has been while he was away she is pregnant again with another man’s baby and she is divorcing my brother he didn’t know where or how he went wrong ( the fact if the matter is he didn’t go wrong she did and the law protected her even rewarded her. ) My brother blew his brains out that year.
Women who stand up for true femininity, and masculinity are demonized and called a “ pick me “. I think the reason is modern feminists are vicious nasty people for the most part. Maybe these are examples of the havoc modern feminism is unleashing on the western world.
Let’s discuss.

Miristheiss · Answer

Because... women have equal rights. They can go to school, pursue any job/career they want. They can vote, hold office, start a company. They can marry or not.

There is no need for any more feminism.

It keeps going though... it is hostile toward men and masculinity, it pushes/encourages woman to want to do everything themselves and to not "NEED" anyone or "DEPEND" on anyone. It shames women for wanting to need a man and depend on a man. It shames women to want to marry younger and to start a family and to prioritize family over career. It teaches women that their career is the most important thing in life, career trumps all. It pushes women to delay having a children and or marrying and many get into their 30's and end up not being able to have the family they wanted and then regret buying into the feminism agenda.

Feminism was originally about having the choice and freedom. Women have had that for years but that wasn't enough. Now pretty much the entire agenda is that masculinity is evil, femininity is divine, and even though the disclaimer of "women can choose whatever they want" is often thrown out as a meaningless platitude everyone can read between the lines and know women are looked down on and shamed and thought less of... if higher education and degree's and career success and not "needing" any man, I can do everything myself... etc. isn't her moral code. Career defines happiness and who you are not family and kids.

Women are free to choose. Some women really do prefer career. Many do not want kids and do not want marriage. That is fine. Many end up realizing that career really wasn't the holy grail they were promised and they really wanted a marriage and kids and some end up missing that and it is due to the toxic levels of feminism preached now.

A lot of women do not WANT to do everything. Hey, sure they can seal the driveway themselves, mow the lawn themselves, take care of the yard themselves, move that furniture and fridge themselves, do all of that man stuff themselves... but you know what... after doing that stuff for a while they may think, I don't WANT to do this, why was I fighting so much for this? Let a guy do it. I'll make him a sandwich and open a beer for him and I'll stay inside in the A/C and relax a bit.

So, maybe some women realize they have equal rights and they don't need feminism.
Some women don't think they have to live like a man to be happy. They know feminists look down on them if they want to put family first, if they want to take care of their man. They've seen the social media outrage when a woman may post a question asking for sandwich ideas so she can make her husband a new type of sandwich for lunch... the outrage at her for "daring" to do something for him out of love. "You aren't his servant... let him make his own sandwich"... etc. Some just think... I love him and wanted to do something nice for him but women are hating on me. I am supposed to be hostile towards my man and reject doing nice things sometimes because of feminism. Some don't want to do the hard, heavy work. Sure they "CAN" do it... they just don't want to.

They do not feel like victims and they love their guys.

rks but someday... you may be 100% all alone and have zero help.

Wester1967 · Answer

Read Dworkin's "Right Wing Women"- it's a real shot of black espresso
http://radfem.org/dworkin/
last paragraph: Facing the true nature of the sex-class system means ultimately that one must destroy that system or accommodate to it. Facing the true nature of male power over women also means that one must destroy that power or accommodate to it. Feminists, from a base of powerlessness, want to destroy that power; right-wing women, from a base of powerlessness, the same base, accommodate to that power because quite simply they see no way out from under. Those with power will not help; those who are powerless like themselves arguably cannot. Feminists, after the defeat of previous movements throughout history and facing some kind of disintegration again (with the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment in the United States, the possible enactment of the Family Protection Act, the Human Life Amendment or Statute, and other social, political, and legal initiatives promoting female subordination *), have to face the real questions. Can a political movement rooted in a closed system of subordination—with no political support among power-based political movements—break that closed system apart? Or will the antifeminism of those whose politics are rooted in sex-class power and privilege always destroy movements for the liberation of women? Is there a way to subvert the antifeminism of power-based political programs or parties—or is the pleasure and profit in the subordination of women simply too overwhelming, too great, too marvelous, to allow for anything but the political defense of that subordination (antifeminism)? Will it take a hundred fists, a thousand fists, a million fists, pushed through that circle of crime to destroy it, or are right-wing women essentially right that it is indestructible? Can the wall of prostitution be scaled? Can what is at the heart of sex oppression—the use of women as pornography, pornography as what women are—be stopped? If antifeminism triumphs over the liberation movement of women—now, again, always—whoever has political power or represents social order or exercises authoritarian rule—whatever they are called, whatever they call their political line—has women for good; the Right, broadly construed, has women for good. Stasis and cruelty will have triumphed over freedom. The freedom of women from sex oppression either matters or it does not; it is either essential or it is not. Decide one more time.

spuitkaas · Answer

Because they either struggle with internalized misogyny, are not informed or are too scared to give themselves that label because feminism has got a bad name.
Feminism literally means a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. That's it. If you agree with that and want to stand for inequality, you can call yourself a feminist. You can even fight for male rights and be part of the movement. I personally think male rights are part of feminism.
You can be many types of feminists and sure there are things you might not agree with. I, for example, don't agree with the shaming women when they want to something gender stereotypical. It's because I think we should support women in their choices and think critical of them being their own or pressured from societal expectations. Also I think we should appreciate stereotypical feminine things like makeup, expressing emotions, nurturing behaviour etc and not cling them to 1 gender.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

I am scared of the replies because people tend to generalize a lot. Marish is boy who use pink profile who also used pics of a girl from insta. She changed it after more and more people said this.

I do support many or some things that feminism do like making rape illegal in marriage. Two years ago the jailtime for rapists was 6 month-2 years in austria and thanks to feminism it changed.

Unfortunately, anal rape is legal in switzerland, women are not allowed to get sterilisation in many western countries but also the same conservative countries are against abortion, birth control. The reason is that it is irreversibel (although you still can get kids) and only women above 35 and with kids can get it. The irony is irreversibel things like prostitution like being porn star is allowed even though it will hunt you despite quitting it. I made a research and find out majority of the pornstars/prostitutes were abused and abused people are easily manipulated and many porn directors are manipulating even minors and wait till they become 18. The whole sex industry is corrupt. In german speaking countries the majority of prostitutes are from third world countries who do this because the get lied and betrayed.
It disgusts me that many guys watch porn which abused so many women but also hate onlyfans where women have the full control.
To use broken mentall ill women for prostitution/porn industry is ok or even take advantage of women in third world countries aka lie to them is ok but when women choose to take control over their bodies with sterilisation, abortion, etc it is a scandal. Even christian/muslim/jewish men support these devilish industry by watchikg it but have the audacity to complain about onlyfans.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

I dont understand why feminism is a thing honestly. Women and mens bodies are built differently and have a different set of skill sets. It doesn't mean their should be mens jobs or womens jobs I dont believe in that stuff either anyone can do whatever they want for a job.

Why create a movement that belittles men? Men are just as important in society as women. At the end of the day we all need each other its okay men are better with manual work and women are better in beauty.. doesn't mean a woman can't work in manual work and a guy can't work in beauty its not another century when those things were an issue! Women have equal rights as men... so I really dont understand why feminism is a thing and it makes me sick thats why men have their own movement (mow something I believe I dont keep up with all the nonsense) as a retaliation to feminism... how about we do away with both the movements and just appreciate people for who they are and what they want to do! Enough with all the bullshit!

Electmen · Answer

Because modern feminism is taking out the freedom of women to be whatever they want. In today's society you as a woman can't say you like flowers because chivalry is "oppressive" according to them, it's cooler to say you like to get wasted and have one night stands with strangers; they can't say they don't want a career because being a mother and a housewife is unacceptable according to theoretician feminists.

Feminists like to brag about their "conquests", but deny the fact that according to researches women in todays society are less happy than the women of the past, they also forget to mention that women are way more likely now to take antidepressants and other anxiolytics than ever before because it's harder for women to handle stress than it is for men.

It doesn't make sense to me why some feminists don't understand that some women like patriarchy. Some women are just simple beings, they want to be taken care of, not being independent; some women want to be protected by the arms of a strong "toxic" man, they don't want to keep pretending to be strong all the time; some women like to show vulnerability and femininity to a man that they know it's going to appreciate that and be her complementation; some women like to be submissive and follow rules but now they can't unless they want to be called stupid as the norm is to be rebellious.

To me feminism is turning women into a worse version of men lol. Also, many many women have father, brothers, sons and male friends, it's not cool to see those irrational blue haired tattooed overweight chicks saying every man is a potential rapist, that we are oppressive and that we are the cause of your unhappiness.

NamerOfStars · Answer

No, they're just honest. Feminism isn't about equality; it never was. It's about women, and women's position. Some women are smart enough to realize that when one sex has bodily integrity rights, reproductive rights, and antislavery rights that the other sex lacks, it's disingenuous at BEST to call them "oppressed".

Historically, women were protected. That protection, like every form of it, was also restricting. Many women objected to that, and claimed to be willing to embrace risk on equal grounds. Few were; fewer are today, but that doesn't mean there's no room to renegotiate the social contract.

There's also the horrific historical baggage that the movement carries with it. Any right-minded society would object vehemently to the actions of the main branch of the KKK; why would the Ladies' Auxiliary be treated differently? Why would the people who applauded Valerie Solanas' attempted murder of Andy Warhol (for no reason other than that he was a man, and was there) bring in fans?

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Feminism is a political movement with specific stated (or indeed, unstated, and often self-conflicting) goals. "Women", unlike "feminists", are not a unilateral political group. Every woman has her own goals, values, priorities, etc. But to be a feminist means to abandon those individual goals for the sake of the "collective" feminist goal. And what is that goal? Well, we need only look at the modern culture surrounding feminist rhetoric to find out. They want to force 50/50 equity no matter the practical imbalances and talent vaccuums this creates. They want to dismantle anything and everything resembling "traditional values" like the nuclear family. They want to spread this toxic belief about society being a male-dominated patriarchal tyranny that's built to profit men for just existing (despite the fact that men are more likely to toil and die doing lifelong manual labour, whilst the profits of that labour funnel upwards towards some corporate oligarch so detached from real people's problems that they might as well be a different species altogether). The fact that there are still women smart enough to see through the indoctrination and propaganda of fourth wave feminism is surely evidence that women ARE equal to men. If I had to wager a guess, I'd assume that most women believe in gender equality as a high level principle, but many of those women do NOT subscribe to how the modern feminist movement EXECUTES upon that general principle (or even violates that general principle altogether, as we see in instances of male candidates being ignored for job listings just because they don't fit a feminist-mandated "gender quota".)

anon171999 · Answer

Because so far every feminist I've spoken to is sexist against men and uses feminism as an excuse to justify being disrespectful to men.

I don't doubt that there are indeed feminists out there who respect both men and women while also desiring that both genders are treated well. However, I have yet to meet one.

Since so many feminists use feminism as a
way to disempower and disrespect men, I don't support feminism. I support everyone being treated with respect and according to their own actions.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Because it was never about equality it was about making men the oppressor and the women the oppressed. Creating a narrative that society is nothing more than one caters to the needs of men at the expense of women and that men have been oppressing women since the beginning of time.

If any of this was actually true then feminism would have been instantly crushed if the patriarchy is as omnipotent and omnipresent as it was made out to be. Instead, feminists have to pander to the very thing that they claim doesn't exist: the idea that men, as a whole, don't care about women or even hate them.

As far as why women themselves are against feminism, I'd imagine it's not that much different than why men are against it. It ultimately ruins the idea of men and women living happy lives together because now women are being told that men just want to rape them and men see the effects of the laws that cone out of it which spit on the very things that actually brought justice.

Not to mention it completely takes a woman's agency away if they do something awful by implying that a man is involved and he made her do it or something like that. Just look at Ghislane Maxwell and how her defense is seriously arguing that Epstien made her do all of the things she did and none of her thoughts were her own.

Subarugirl · Answer

Okay so here is the deal, I don't call my self a feminist because of what that means now, not what it meant when the movement started. Don't get me wrong I am all for the equity of the sexes, the equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including economic participation and decision-making; and the state of valuing different behaviors, aspirations and needs. Which is originally what feminism stood for, unfortunately extremists hijacked the movement and twisted it into hating on men and female supremacy which I do not support.

Essentially in trying to make things fair, the pendulum swung too far. The meaning of words can change over time which is what we are seeing here.

ArchivalMars2 · Answer

Because nowadays feminism isn't about equality anymore, it has become about superiority and just downright bashing men. Huge line of women going about how they're all "goddesses" and "queens" and that they can practically do no wrong or that their way is a right way and anything against it is the wrong period. Even more things about how men are trash and that any kind of "masculinity" is just "toxic masculinity" and that there is nothing positive about it. A lot of women are starting to see these issues and are realizing that feminism is no longer about equal rights for women anymore so they don't want anything from it if that's what it really is now.

Uannoyme · Answer

I don't hate my gender, nor do I feel solidarity with other women based solely on the fact that we are women. I'm all for equality within reason, however today's feminism isn't about equality. It's about telling women that making certain choices is wrong, such as being a traditional woman. It's about telling women that they are victims. I'm not a victim, and no one gets to tell me that I am.

TrueConfection · Answer

I love my gender and want to keep it feminine. I don't want to look like a man because I'm not a man.

I don't mind patriarchy, but I don't see oppression being a threat. We have the same rights as men in the U. S. Having assigned/agreed upon roles is necessary in a successful marriage (whatever those roles may be).

I think this war on boys and men is harmful to them and to women. Everyone loses.

Are we equal? Yes. Are we the same? No. We are not the same. Men's and women's brains function differently, our muscles are different, our hearts are different, and the obvious hormones & sexual organs are different. We can never ever be the same, but we can share equal rights. I can't think of any right a man has that I don't.

Blackcupcake · Answer

I’m all for equality, but I don’t like labels… feminism is a good thing, yes, but some people have taken that to an extreme that I don’t necessarily agree with. However, just because I choose to not label myself as a feminist does not mean that I don’t want equality within reasonable boundaries, because I don’t think that men and women can be 100% equal

CountessSarah · Answer

The opposite of feminist isn't misogynist.
People reject feminism for its regressive pseudo-leftist politics.
I briefly identified as a feminist while I was still learning about it's positions. I was repeatedly told I couldn't be a feminist because of my gender and because I questioned the regressive rhetoric - I was a bad feminist for rejecting racist and sexist positions.

Why Are Some Women Against Feminism?

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