How open are you to understanding other people's perspectives?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I got a friend who when he's made up his mind, he doesn't let anyone even try to convince him otherwise.

I almost blew up on him the other day and that was when I realized most people are almost as bad as he is. Especially on the internet.

I'm sure a lot of people will say they think they're super open minded but I know many of the people on this site and I think open mindedness is an extremely rare quality.

[jshm2]

No one is as open minded as they like to think. In fact the more "open minded" the more closed minded or daft they actually are.

It's rooted in the psychology of self. We like to think of ourselves as the best of ourselves, and those that don't are usually depressed, immature or manic.

Regardless, your friend is better informed than a "flag in the wind" like you. When you've reached your conclusion you should stand by them. Only a coward changes on a whim. You're also confused as to the difference between convincing and persuading. You're probably shit at both, hence your friend has laughed at you.

You're also confusing scientific inquiry with functioning in real life. You must always be open to challenge in science and academia as new and better data or theories are always coming in. But that is the nature of science.

In life you cannot do that. You cannot dodge tax, and you cannot help your best friend hide the dead body of your boss, even if it helps both of you, for example. Sure you can convince and persuade, but you'll both go down in the end.

Hence in real life you must stick to rules and regulations doggedly - even if they may be contrary to logic or advantage.

It's one reason kids these days are confused as fuck. They are under the illusion of logic and science being the only way to think. Hence are closed minded by default as a result.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'll admit, there's some truth to what you said. We are wired to see ourselves a certain way and when we take more honest looks at ourselves, the consequences can be very real and seemingly unfavorable to our mental health. Only you are exactly the kind of person I was expecting to get on this question.

You know what I notice in common with almost all these answers? Nobody asked for more details, nobody said "I don't know" or acknowledged that there is not even close to enough information in the description to draw a conclusion about me.

Yet people flocked here to do what you're doing, go ahead at read some of the comments here, you'll see what open mindedness looks like when you read some of them. And you'll see people just like you in the rest.

As for rules, I learn why they were put in place and then I choose how I follow and interpret them into my life. While there is usually wisdom in rules, they are often adulterated, wrong or just plain in the way of me doing something that isn't going to hurt anybody.

I understand where you're going with the whole science and logic thing, but philosophy is the birthplace of science, logic and also society itself. A keen understanding of all are necessary to argue like this. And even though I'm open to being shown wrong or another way of looking at things, I do currently hold this as fact.

[Chazmatazz269]

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and yours stink! Ell oh ell!
I’m happy to exchange opinions and ideas with someone as long as it’s just a friendly conversation. I don’t usually try to change someone’s opinion, and i rarely accept someone trying to change mine. If you think you can educate me where i’m ignorant, you better come with verifiable facts and information. I don’t know anyone who is as open to new information as i am in such cases. Unfortunately, everyone thinks they know a thing or two, but almost nobody ever challenges their own ideals or convictions. The world would be better off if they did. This is why i sincerely believe “Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error” by Kathryn Schultz should be mandatory reading for everyone everywhere. At least twice before you graduate high skool, and three times for college or university.
“In all affairs it is a healthy thing to occasionally hang a question mark on things we’ve too long taken for granted.” - Bertrand Russell

[AmandaYVR]

I know that I am. People tell me this all the time.

He doesn't have to remain your friend. Maybe you think the options and alternatives out there are limited, but there can be consequences for people who refuse to be tolerant and compassionate.

[jennifer_bloom]

What I believe is stubborn people can change their ways but sometimes they need to learn it on their own. Not everyone responds to words. But the bible says many who ignore words will respond to circumstances.

[SlothySlob]

From the story you just presented, it seems you're not as open minded either. In other words, yes you're right.
Am I open minded, logically thinking, no, I wouldn't say so. I'm open to listening to other's opinions, but ultimately I rarely accept them fully. Mostly just absorb parts of their opinions.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Wait, I'm not open minded because I tried to point out that maybe there were some aspects of his decision he didn't think through?

[SlothySlob]

In a sense yes, because you're disregarding his decision as wrong without knowing the outcome.
If anything this corroborates with your belief. To be truly open minded there's a certain level of altruism that you'd need to achieve which I believe is impossible, since you'd need to completely ignore your opinions and fully accept the opinions of others.
We, as humans, are too prideful for something like open mindedness.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

But by you're own logic, isn't it wrong for you to assume I didn't already know the outcome? You don't know the circumstances or context of my story. I never even really told it.

I think you're right about fully accepting other people's opinions, but I don't think that's impossible. How do you mean to fully accept it?

[SlothySlob]

Yes, it's wrong of me to tell you how you ought to be acting with your friend. It's impossible to know the whole story, every detail.

By fully accepting I meant in a sense where, a stupid example, but all your life you've been told that the sky is red, by people you love, trust, etc. Then you meet some people who say "no, sky blue". The majority of people wouldn't just replace the opinion that "sky is red" with "sky is blue". In my case, I'd afterwards hold the belief "sky is red, but some people think it's blue".
I still hold my original opinion, even if slightly different.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think that understanding other people's perspectives requires putting yourself in other people's shoes. What's wrong with just temporarily pretending to think the sky is blue and trying to understand how your friend came to the conclusion?

Maybe you had a scientist tell you the sky is red because light bends a certain way and the atmosphere disperses it a certain way, maybe you hear something equally compelling from the other guy, or at least you learn what is so compelling to them. And gain a deeper understanding of one another

[SlothySlob]

In the scope of a human you're disregarding pride and senses of superiority. Heck, look how I'm acting. For the sake of the argument, I'm letting the "a scientist told you" slide and I'm replacing it with " a trusted source told you".

By putting yourself in some else's shoes you're not shedding your core beliefs, you still hold them. You just have the ability to imagine.

Yes, you can gain a deeper understanding of a topic, but you're not fully replacing your initial opinion. You still hold, even if small, an opinion that the sky is red.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think it was a really nice gesture for you to do that. Seeing it required me to put my ego to the side because that's not something I would have seen the use in doing without all this context. I said scientist because I recognize your point is genuine and the reason in my example I said a scientist may have argued red and the person you didn't know argued blue, is to represent the value in hearing people out even when it seems like you already have the clearest possible understanding.

I hope it came across that way, this is a great conversation. You seem like a pretty smart guy.

[NathanDavis]

being open minded does not exactly mean to change your mind just because others say you should... lol

and yes, I am very understanding on other people's perspectives, but again, that doesn't mean that I have to give up on my own perspective and experience just because I understand others'

so, this is really about the actual details and the context... as I usually say, case by case scenario... lol

[Guy13]

The problem with an open mind is nothing ever settles and too much unnecessary garbage continuously clogs the tunnel itself into non-functioning and productive Being

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's very disappointing. Diversity of opinion is thin on the ground right now and it makes agreeing anything extremely difficult.

Personally, I like several views on subjects and to draw consensus. Seems like I'm alone in this nowadays.

Now that you don't need to win an argument with him. You are free to hold a different view to him without you agreeing.

[exitseven]

I used to be a lot more open minded but now I am pretty much set in my ways.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You think it's because you've seen a lot of life? Or is it something about getting aging?

It's something I've always wondered about

[exitseven]

Probably because of all the shit I have seen in my life. It really made me cynical and I just see the black and white of things.

[Hypermotard1916]

I am a HYPEROMOTARD, i dont have feelings :(

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Ohhhh, you mean like a Ducati? I'm more of a car guy but I think I get it

[Hypermotard1916]

I am a bike :D

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Love it 👍🏼

[TroyDT2]

Understanding someone else's perspective does not of necessity require changing one's own position.

[OddBeMe]

I do think I’m an “empath” as far as how that term is used. I can discern emotions, see from their perspective. I actually think I have so much empathy I wall it off and can seem robotic.

[Asker2022]

Not much, I’m mostly self centered.