Am I Racist Against Black People?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so I'm Black and I can't seem to get along with other Black people.

Hear me out, please.

I don't see Black people as special. We're not "resilient, smart, intelligent, etc" and I say this because I notice that Black people love to act as though they're the only ones who can have these attributes, as if no other race can have them and to that, I disagree.

We can be all of these things and I feel like we (Black People) have the mental capacity to be all of these incredible attributes, but it's not because we're Black. Just because we're Black and been through struggles doesn't make us amazing, in that regard.

Black people lack in priorities and don't tend to value education over style, fame, and perceived status, from what I've seen.

Then, there's this whole "We're King's and Queens and all other races hate us because they can't be us" situation.

I don't agree with this, either.

From my experience (and I can only judge from my experience), Black people don't actually feel this way, about themselves. With how they constantly abuse each other on multiple levels, I think a lot of us suffer from low self esteem. In fact, I think that since other races have excluded Black people so much, that they hype themselves up, just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

In my eyes, Black people are flawed and have made some huge mistakes, like every other race on the planet... does this make me racist, that I don't put my own people or anyone else, on a pedestal? For years, I've been abused by mostly Black people, so for me, they're just humans that walk this Earth, just like me.

In all honesty, I want Black people as a whole, to do better. Is that so wrong? I hold them to the same standards as I do other races... am I Racist? I thought I was being fair... I don't judge Black people by their skin color, I judge them from their mindset and behavior and we, as a race have a bunch of flaws that we don't like to address. Am I being too harsh, here?

Updates

1 y

Now before you comment, I am very much aware of the struggles and the period of slavery that Black people have gone through, and when they come into my life, I treat them as I do all other races.

As a person.

Yes, there are some unfair instances and I note them and acknowledge them because they certainly do happen, but not only do I keep this in mind, but when I am confused and need clarity, I ask these people about whatever I'm confused on, so I don't understand the hostility.

Updates

1 y

Or the straight up abandonment that I go through, since I try to understand their issue fully, before saying anything about it.

Black people have always treated me differently, so I don't understand why I get this reaction.

I'm all for any serious questions that anyone may have... I just want to get to the bottom of this.

[ManOnFire]

If you really are black and not a white girl just saying that, or a white guy with a fake account (there are fakes on GaG all the time!), then I can understand where you're coming from. As a black person myself I sometimes experience exclusion by the black community also, because they see that I'm very intelligent (I don't like saying 'educated' because being educated and intelligent are two different things) and very diverse in the things that I like and what I know.

But, this is largely from lower class black communities. Where I live is more diverse, advanced, and affluent than oh say... the projects of California, Detroit, Atlanta, or Prince George's County. So where I live, we do have a lot of other blacks who respect me and don't do a lot of the things you say.

We have to remember that class has a lot to do with why some groups of blacks have the attitudes they have that others don't, and not all black people are ghetto types who are what the media wants to show. Poorer black folk will often be exactly what you describe, prioritizing style, fame, the game, 100-dollar shoes, weed, and music above higher opportunities, learning, and going places. They don't really want to broaden their vision and see or do other things, and will usually look down on other blacks who are not like them. They're the ones missing out, not you. Or me.

But there is a growing demographic of black Americans who do want more and are learning more, we just don't see a lot of that because the media doesn't want to show us. We've got some incredibly cool black people like Diane Watson who can speak Chinese so well it makes me jealous (I'm learning too by the way), Frankie Light too, Kazhun Jiles who speaks Russian and has been across the Caucus, and even though I can't stand her I do have to say that Candace Owens is smart, she's just fighting for the wrong side.

[Asker]

Okay, I am very much Black and southern raised. Hailing from the frozen historic scene of Alabama.

Maybe I just am running into the wrong class, constantly?

My best friend is also Black and I would say Upper Middle Class and she doesn't think this way, either.

Now, I know that all Black people don't follow this pattern, but I have noticed that a lot of them do.

You are very much correct and I thank you, for taking the time to comment, just like the other two who have before you.

Very insightful.

Also, good luck in learning Chinese (Mandarin). I'm studying Korean (Hangul), myself.

[ManOnFire]

Hey, look at that. Hopefully you ace it. I had a Korean ex and I tried learning it and it was tough for me lol. Chinese I find is actually pretty easy.

[SlothySlob]

Is this what America does to people? Either follow a stereotype or you're worse than Hitler?
Shit, if thinking for yourself makes you racist, you should be proud.

[Asker]

You know what? I never thought about it that quite like that. Good point. Yes, they will beat you down for thinking differently, over here. Thank you for your thoughts.

[Nomina]

Isn't that interesting? It's a weird paradox. Outwardly they speak a lot of being yourself or unique or some shit, but also... don't be, because I don't like who you are when you're being yourself and your unique makes me uncomfortable, so stop.

From my perspective outside US culture, it's always the veneer of being something but never actually being the thing.

[Asker]

@Nomina I mean, you're not wrong...

[Nomina]

I don't think it's racism, I think it's not gelling with the cultural message that you see.

It sounds to me like a desire for people to stop categorizing themselves in a box, using that box as an excuse for not growing and for people to look at themselves and others as individuals.

But I'm biased because I don't like this shit either 😏

[Asker]

I absolutely agree. I have some amazing Black people in my life, but sadly, I'm starting to feel like these mediocre standards are indeed, the norm and the horrible behavior is accepted and praised amongst most of them.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion.

[Nomina]

You're welcome.
I just read your update, and I feel like adding a little something. Are you from the US? What's prompting the question is your first update. And it's something I've seen a lot mostly from people in the US. Don't feel the need to defend your position all the time. Especially on this. This isn't a matter of the past with slavery - that song has been sung to death, in my opinion.. it's boring now. You're talking about what you see here and now, currently. So focus on that. People who MIGHT respond negatively will try to play the game of "Slavery!" Don't fall for it before they've even said anything.

Your second update is confusing. Whose issues do you speak of that you try to understand before saying anything about them?

[Asker]

Ah, yes. I'm very much, American.

My second update was about the Black people in my life who I give a fair and unbiased chance to, but at the end of the day, I'm still called "racist" for not agreeing with the usual behavior of Black people, in the US.

It's actually pretty funny, because I can get along with a lot of Africans and they treat me as their own and usually like me, so you might be onto something... once again, I am thankful for your response.

[Nomina]

No problem.

I think this is the type of issue where you can give your pieces of advice, then go on about your way and lead by example. For some people, no matter how much you want to talk they won't get it. Unless there's tangible proof to back up what you're saying, even better if it comes from you, it won't click. And that's just the way it is.

Or another option, is to depersonalize the issue as much as possible. To break things down into small actionable things and present them as questions, so they're the ones who come up with the solution. I don't know if you've tried that. But it works, especially with stubborn people who like to complain a lot 😂 slowly but surely they realize that they can come up with solutions as opposed to complaining all the time.

[Asker]

What prompted this in the first place have been a series of hostile responses (like arguing with people for two hours) or other Black people suddenly abandoning me as a friend because we don't agree.

I had a "friend" hang up in my face, yesterday because I said this and she texted me back three hours later, "I fell asleep. I'm sorry."

I know what she sounds like, when she's sleeping (she snores) and she made two disapproving humming sounds before the call ended.

There was no snoring, at all. Just silence.

She was so invested in telling me how amazing Black people are and how they have "god like qualities" (which is very disturbing to say as a Christian, which she claims to be). Which draws hatred from every other race (the victim of jealousy card).

Because you know, they all want to be us, to some degree. *(eye roll)*

And she can go on and on about how naturally amazing Black people are, for existing, but she "falls asleep" on me?

I feel like that's disrespectful, either way you flip it.

I tried to call her back and everything.

Nothing, but that pathetic text.

[Nomina]

I'm so sorry! I agree with you that it's a coping mechanism that many have adopted without really thinking about what it means.
If she really took the time to think this through, she could easily find black people around her that aren't "god-like".

Had I been on the receiving end of this, I would have turned it around to almost shock her with another perspective.
Like if black people are god-like, I woule have said "I'm certainly not!" And especially if talking about being christian, I would have listed as many as in which I fail to be so god-like. What she's saying is the opposite of humility, which is completely at odds with what she claims to believe in.

If she said other races are jealous of black people, I would have mentioned characteristics that other races, other cultures have that I like. To show that they are worthy of respect and admiration as well.

I'm not a fan of the notion that if they so easily drop you, they were never true friends in the first place. It sounds kina petty and ungrateful, in my opinion. If you WANT to, continue to be her friend and continue to have your views. She might get used to it or she might distance herself. But I think you'll be able to deal with it.

[Asker]

Thank you Nomina.

You have no reason to apologize, by the way.

I was just trying to see if if I was crazy or something.

Often times, I get called "racist, coon, self-loathing or self-hating, Oreo, etc."

And she tried that with me last night, saying "I don't see how you can put other cultures before your own..." and "I don't understand how you don't see Black people as lit..."

The qualities that she listed for Black women being loved by everyone *another eye roll* seems to be something that other races can have, as well.

I guess it's perspective, with me seeing that Black people in the States are often last picked and married, even with their own.

I don't care to support delusion.

Black women can find love, but I do think it's a lot harder for a variety of reasons.

I don't think Black women are excluded because they're "oh so special that they invoke jealousy and wrath from other races."

That's just silly, to me.

[Brokenheartedx]

To be honest I hate everyone the same regardless of colour and creed...
Doesn't make me a racist, makes a realist.

[Asker]

True, true.

[Brokenheartedx]

I see were you're coming from, some time people around you didn't treat you right, these same people demand respect but didn't show you any and it's left you feeling bitter towards them. Don't let it consume you, never mind them, you do better, you owe it to yourself, fuck them how they treated you, people who treat others badly are just idiots

[Asker]

I agree.

They can't even ask questions. They just attack, all the time and make things worse.

It's fine.

I've made up my mind on what to do about them, now. Thank you.

[blueonblack22]

I don’t you necessarily hate your race but you just have common sense about all the self destructive bs going on in our current society.

It does take more mental effort to get to know, relate to and have genuine relationship (profesional, friends or romantic) with someone of a different. Tribalism does sadly exist but if can be persevered by taking the effort to get to know people.

But this asinine fighting fire with fire so called “anti-racism approach” going on by cultural elites is ultimately harming everybody. Elitist white leftists believe black people need to be treated with kid gloves. Well intentional or not it’s extremely racist in itself. It robs black people of agency. When you remove agency you ironically lose self-respect.

The ways things now are partially to blame for race baiting grifters like Al Sharpton. But they are more to blame for elitist leftist whites who get off on “humble bragging” and feeling superior no normal white people by perpetuating the so called perpetual victim status of black people.

Anyway if Martin Luther King was alive today what would he say to what America has become?

[Msputiton]

Aiight white person race baiting🤣

[Asker]

Please get off my post. I'm a Black woman. Don't assume anything.

[Msputiton]

🤣🤣sure. You slipped up by not talking about us in 3rd person the entire time.

[Msputiton]

*by talkin bout us in 3rd person*

[Msputiton]

a lot of the things you said in your post are the way white people defend their actions towards us.
I treat them the same as other races.
Your wording gives it away.

[Asker]

Or, check this out. I reply in 3rd person because Black people already treat me as if I'm not one of them. Hence the "Oreo, You list your Black card, You're not as Black as us, etc."

I think it's pretty funny that I'm supposed to claim Black people at this point, when most of them here in the US (because I have no problems with the other Black people in this comment section), want me to act like I'm one of them, but treat me like I'm not good enough to be one of them.

That's the straight up definition of bullies with entitlement issues.

And this is coming from an Alternative Black woman.

Don't believe me? Then leave my post. I'm not lying just because you assume wrongly.

[Asker]

"You lost your Black card"

[Msputiton]

Ok i can understand that.
I apologize.
a lot of anons are trolls trying to start racw arguments.
I may have assumed you one as well.

But your last post makes sense. Just like most races we allow the media to brain wash us into thinkin we are supposed to "act black"
It's not true.
It's how society controls how each race acts.
Convince them they gotta follow certain rules to be that race

[Asker]

Thanks for the apology and understanding.

It's really sad to hear that a lot of people race bait on here, though.

But, I really just wanted answers.

I've tried for a very long time to understand and have been abused multiple times because I don't.

[Msputiton]

Tbh there are a lot of people who believe racial stereotypes. And a lot of them believe in herd mentality.

"You must act like us or get shamed until you do."
Thing is it's every race that does this to their own race.

People treating you like that are the problem. Not you.

If you are a good person. A caring person and got my back and fun to be around. I'm gonna be cool wit you.

No matter your race or things you enjoy to do.

[Asker]

Well, thanks and I agree.

I just wanted to get to the bottom of things and I treat them the exact same way I treat my White and Asian friends, so I see that as fair.

Any time I try to hold Black people accountable for their actions, I'm called "racist" or "self-loathing", when in all actuality, they want me to coddle them.

I come to realize that maybe a lot of Black people are just simply below other races of people.

Not because they're naturally below them. Moreso, because they choose to be so.

I think my standards are too high for Black people, as a group and that may be the problem, as much as it hurts to say.

All Black people don't fall into this category, but it's certainly too many, at this point...

I try not to get depressed about this..

[Asker]

I don't know, I've really been one to focus on stereotypes.

I know other people do, but I see the other person as an individual, first, unless an issue comes up, revolving around race.

It just seems weird to judge people like that, to me.

[Msputiton]

Now you are incorrect.
We have a large group 80 to 85% are hardworking law abiding citizens.
15 to 20% are not. We do not fall into the sterotype that you just described. You say you treat us the same. Yet. Your opinion of us are horrible. It is impossible to treat anyone equally when your opinion is so low.
Because now the back of your mind is we are not really good enough to be your friend.
At this point you are to blame for your lack of black friends.
You cannot go into a friendship assuming they most likely don't meet my expectations.
So yeah the fact you think you so much better than an entire race falls into the lack of dealings with black people.

There will always be judgmental people in this world, and you have also become one.
I don't go around being lazy. None of my teammates are.
I work 2 jobs go to college and train to and practice 2 hrs a day so i can keep my athletic scholarship.
I also could have gotten an academic scholarship if i chose, but my love of basketball made me decide to chose athletic.
So reign in your hatred for black people and maybe you would get more respect. We good at sniffin out the haters. Don't allow the stereotypes to brain wash you

[Asker]

Did I call you one stereotype while talking to you?

Nope.

In fact, didn't you attack me, first?

Where does this come from?

Once again, there's this entitlement thing that a lot of you do, that you assume that you know who you're talking to, and blame them because you get offended and take things personally.

I give pretty much everyone a chance until they mess up.

Don't see how that's been a problem until wait... we don't agree on a point.

You work two jobs? Congrats, I do too. It doesn't make you special.

You know, you could have asked me before assuming anything (again).

Between the two of us, I would say that you're the judgmental one and my, you're quick about it, too.

How about you just leave this post?

Have you been cheated out of thousands of dollars by your own family in a vunerable state? Are you usually dismissed and misunderstood? How about abused for most of your life? Have you been assaulted by groups of Black people? Physically and sexually? How about hospital bound because of them? Has your mental health taken a hit because of all the trauma that they've done to you? And they have the nerve to act as though you should be there for them, no matter what?

Have you ever been held by gunpoint by them? Have you ever been setup to be murdered by them? How about have you had to stop them from killing one of your own friends?

And no, these aren't gang members!

In fact, this isn't even everything!

I beg your pardon? Do you call this normal? And this is over the span of 24 years!

You don't know me. It would do you better to just shut the hell up, in all honesty.

Go somewhere else.

I literally said that you could ask me anything and you couldn't even do that before casting your inaccurate responses.

Just leave because you're not helping the issue. Nor are making Black people look good.

You sound just as dumb as some of the other ones I've met.

Leave!

[Asker]

In fact, I want to thank you for solidifying a point that I've realized because being around the majority of Black people (like yourself, congrats!) Is actually self abuse.

So thank you so much for stupidly jumping to conclusions and blaming me for everything.

Just like a lot of the other ones have done.

God job, honey.

The impulsive thing really worked here!

(Obvious sarcasm)

[Msputiton]

I go back to what i originally thought you a white race baiter.

[Asker]

And I'll go back to thinking you're an ignorant Black person. Sadly, I'm accurate, lol.