Is a man viewed as emasculated and incompetent if his wife is the breadwinner?

[Anonymous]

If they work the same amount or she works more while she’s still dealing with menstrual cycles, birthing kids, and doing most of the domestic labor… isn’t he sort of seen negatively by her or society?

[MzAsh]

Only to brainwashed bigots who foolishly believe a man’s value rests primarily on his status and income. Mature individuals will have more of an open mind. A man has so much more to give than just financial provision.

[Asker]

What gives a man masculinity then?

[Effably]

No? If we are to expect less from women because they have menstrual cycles we might as well go back to the 20s or so. The previous century. Which honestly might not be so bad as one salary used to be enough for a full family.

It may be a sensitive topic. But it really depends on how the woman in question approaches it. If she makes him seem less for it, sure it will now be emasculating.

Personally I might just brag about being the trophy boyfriend/husband. Sounds good to me.

[Asker]

Well she also does most the housework more often, while dealing with a week of monthly pain and mess, as well as carrying and doing most the childcare.
I’d never be in a marriage where working was an expectation; and if it got to that I can’t say I wouldn’t see my husband as being less than masculine. 🤷‍♀️
But if you’re a trophy husband that does all the cooking and cleaning and are fine with surrogates for kids that you primarily raise; sure I guess that’s different if that’s how you wanna live. I wouldn’t disrespect it. The emasculated aspect is more where she’s holding most the burdens when she’s smaller and weaker and has more against her biologically. It’s pathetic

[Effably]

I think the whole surrogate thing is an odd jump. If all you mean is that she is doing a disproportionate rather than even amount of the work? Sure. That's an issue. I really wouldn't count menstrual cycles or childbirth. When she's going through a rough time any normal partner will step up and rebalance things. Then again no one normal would actually measure tit for tat.

I personally would never be in a relationship with a woman who refused to work. I very well might support a decision for her to stay home while in one but if that is a requirement? We're together because we want to be. Not so I can enable a different lifestyle.

[Asker]

Why wouldn’t you count that

[Effably]

Because I fully expect people to rebalance their burdens when either one has it tough. That is, if she's in pain I'll be extra sweet, pick up her slack and otherwise make it easier.

And as for pregnancies and childbirth? While it may not be proportionate most men assume a 24/7 personal assistant gig during it. Chickenwings at 3am when the only place is 2 hours away and I start work in 3? Alright. A sudden craving to cover everything in imported caviar? Okay, I'll find the best four brands and get one lf each. Being there for her makes it even.

A child is also something done for her as much as for me. It is not a burden anyone should shoulder unless they want to. And suddenly a baby kicking is as much joy as pain. It simply is not something I am willing to view as work.

[Asker]

That’s why there’s different gender roles. At the very least you can agree to surrogacy. You want her working full time when you’re at home feet propped and she’s pregnant with your child? Ig you don’t care about the well-being of your kid at all. But I shouldn’t be surprised you’re selfish

[Effably]

Nothing I said ever expressed that view. I can only assume you're misconstruing what is already written and confirmable reality to force a reaction. I do somewhat want to give you one as a kindness to lighten up your day. But really my expectations on trolling others are significantly higher than this. Good luck.

[Berethor]

If she the breadwinner and doing most of the domestic labor then she is a superwoman. Career versus man trope, yes earning less might make a man feel emasculated, but not as much as being physically small and weak, also how is she don't turn him into a househusband? merciful.

[Asker]

Well isn’t being lazy and useless messed up? If he’s a house husband then he should turn himself into that. She learned how to go out and make more… is he a retarded kid who doesn’t know how to clean?

[Berethor]

I guess you have a point with cleaning, but women tend to be better at raising kids.

[Asker]

Yeah but it’s still hard work. It should be balanced if she has to work

[snackthatsmilesback]

Sometimes, mostly just by mysoginists tho so who cares. Like what reason for thinking he's emasculated? Bc u think man should provide and woman shouldn't. Either that or they a workaholic and think everybody who don't work themself to death is lazy. But still that doesn't usually mean "emasculated" it means lazy. So. Yeah whatever

[Asker]

A woman provides

[snackthatsmilesback]

Ya. So if they aren't sexist they don't usually care who earns more or who stays at home.

[Asker]

Well I’m saying a homemaker provides

[snackthatsmilesback]

Okay.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Sorry I'm tired I don't think I understand what ur say

[Asker]

Well even if a man is out working, a woman would be providing by being a homemaker and mother

[snackthatsmilesback]

Ah. Okay ya that makes sense. When people who look down on the guy say they normally mean just money tho.

[Asker]

Nah it’s cuz usually the dude ain’t picking up any slack

[snackthatsmilesback]

people do use making money as an excuse to not help at home sometimes ya

[Asker]

Well I’m saying even if they’re working the same amount.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Yeah that's why it's just an excuse, not a reason.

[Asker]

But if they’re both making the same why wouldn’t they do the same housework

[snackthatsmilesback]

Cuz they silly goofy boys. Goofy lazy ass prolly I don't know. Maybe just self absorbed n don't even notice or care. Maybe he some disabled n can do like call center job but physical housework is hard? Hm. Could be things. Prolly some bad but u never know, maybe he has decent rezon. 🤷 eh. Best to ask.

[Asker]

Nah usually it’s not

[LimitedBenefits101]

If a man ever becomes a house husband he is longer a man he has lost his manhood.

Imagine grown ass man being a house husband 😂😂😂

[Asker]

That’s mainly my point too. They’re not really house husbands because often they don’t do even a fraction of the work a housewife would do. They just make themselves entirely useless

[exitseven]

It is not that simple. Guys can get laid off by no fault of their own or they can get hurt on the job. I too[k a year off to finish grad school and my wife went to work and I took care of the kids

[OddBeMe]

No. My wife makes ten grand more and I’m fine. I’m really fine with it. It’s terrific. Seriously. I really don’t care. Could care less. Really. There’s no problems here. None.

[KrakenAttackin]

She will quickly cheat on him with someone at work than divorce rape him.

[Asker]

Rape? Weird way to use that word…

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Yeah.