14 year old autistic boy publicly gets rejected on valentines, other students comfort him by giving him valentines. What do you think?

[Razp_Sorbet]

A 14 year old autistic boy made a public display at school to ask a girl to be his valentine, she said no. The next day many students made the boy posters and cards. "We're sorry about what happened she should have said yes cuz the poster was so cute" "you can do so much better man" "you can do better than her" are a few thinks students wrote amongst happy valentines day messages.

What do you think?

Personally I don't think this is ok. We're teaching girls that if they reject a boy then they will be shamed for it and the boy will be praised for being so brave.

[Tenebrae_mentis]

You're right. That is one effect it can have. "You can do better than her" is pretty insulting and this kind of reaction probably made the girl feel terrible. However, it also provides comfort to a child that had he not received this kind of support may have developed an anxiety problem. Public humiliation is pretty tough to get over.

Neither of them did anything particularly wrong and no matter what direction you go with it, one or both of these kids are going to have a terrible experience. It's a no-win situation. The important lesson for both of them is that sometimes life just sucks and you have to learn to deal with it. Sometimes you take a chance and put yourself out there and it ends terribly. Sometimes you unfairly get judged for something that people only judge you for because they weren't the ones in your position.

If it's any consolation, they probably both cried when they got home. So it works out.

[Massageman]

I'd say that just about everyone involved contributed to this mess in some capacity.

While the gal was under no obligation to agree to a "mercy date", the others should have just let personal things stay personal and go about their business. Many times we think we are going to help things improve, and we fall far short.

Maybe that individual who is a "misfit", or "ugly duckling" in social circles, just might have some hidden beauty, if only they are given a chance to let it shine a bit. As I have mentioned before, I dated a gal in high school, not "out of pity or for pretty", but because I enjoyed her company, and she liked Star Trek and watching Hockey (Yay, Golden Jet). One thing I learned about her is that she had an extremely talented tongue: she could give you an appendectomy from the inside out! So, you never know- - -

[sage2021]

I think it was very natural nice that the kids comforted a special needs child.
For once he probably felt good about himself and made a good memory in his life.
What most people don't understand about special needs people is they can go their entire life without ever having made a friend. A true friend. They are lonely, unforgotten and bullied a lot.

Let the guy have at least ONE good memory of Valentine's Day.

Gee whiz, all you seem to think is how this will change your life and affect YOU. Give us all a break!

[Anemone978]

Well cheering him on and wishing him happy valentines is sweet only the three comments are white lies or who knows might be true we don't know the 2 kids involved.. so who really cares.. its made by young teens does it even mater... its not real life its high school..

[motownplayer2000]

First off, he is brave! Very brave! He stepped out there and asked the girl he likes out. Only bravery that tops that is laying your life on the line for someone else. Second, I agree that it’s not ok. But for a different reason. She said what she wanted… she didn’t want him. And that should be enough and very ok. She doesn’t owe him anything, he will probably get rejected many times in life before success in that area and this is a good learning point for him. Glad the students came to his aid because that is really traumatic for someone that is autistic probably more so then for those that aren’t. But she shouldn’t be forced to go out with a dude she doesn’t like or have any connection because it was a nice thing to do. That is living a lie. So no one is in the wrong here.

[MementoMori777]

I don't see anything wrong with his classmates supporting him through rejection, if you think that saying to forget about her or that he will find someone better that it's shaming her then we have a different definition of shaming, it's true that he will find someone better, when people break up, they almost always end up finding someone better.

[MementoMori777]

Breakup and rejections*

[Kaneki05]

Lol I would like to see any of those girls who wrote on this decide to go out with him. Because bet they wouldn't and the hypocrisy shows.

Thing about pandering it's all fake bullshit. Then I'm sure someone would call me not PC for pointing out that nobody else would date this kid even though the facts are facts as they are not. And honestly that probably has more reasons than just autism but it could be a factor.

[inhua]

the gesture looks great on paper but in the end it's just virtue signaling. the kid is being set up with false hope. too many participation trophies being handed out these days

who knows? maybe he'll start asking one of the girls on that piece of paper, get rejected again and realize this was all a lie to begin with

[Mansearching]

Is it bc they're supporting him bc he's autistic? Or you supporting her bc she made a choice? I wonder would those kids would do same if he wasn't autistic? Or if you'd support her if she said yes bc she felt sorry for him?

Is there a real right answer? Nope. No matter which one you (in general) support it'll be wrong.

[Razp_Sorbet]

My issue is more with the "she should have said yes". Saying yes to someone because you feel sorry for them isn't ok either. What the students did was nice, however it does also impact the girl who now probably isn't so popular simply because she didn't want to be someone's valentine.

[Mansearching]

I agree. She didn't have to say yes. She also didn't have to say no. It was her choice. That's where people get in an up roar. You're right, she might be on pples shit list for awhile but it'll pass. That situation always has.

[Anonymous]

i agree with you, sure rejection is tough but i feel like this only happened because he has autism? it's completely normal in life to get rejected and they're both 14? who cares if she said no, especially if it was in a nice way, but all this 'you can do better...' could go so wrong

[Anonymous]

Or maybe 14 year olds who may well also have learning problems haven't articulated themselves in a way which can withstand the secrutiny of the internet.

I would put strong money down that if you were to ask those people if theyre intention was really to shame the girl they would tell you that they were just trying to be supportive and even more accurately that they wish that the boy they liked had made a poster for them.

[Anonymous]

I think somebody should have told him women do not find mentally challenged people attractive so he wouldn't have had to endure that. But I think it's great that many got together and did this for him.

At the end of the day i don't think it really matters. Reality happens!

[Razp_Sorbet]

Autistic ≠ mentally challenged

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I don't when it changed. When I was growing up they were called retarded, or mentally challenged. For some reason they're called autistic now.

[Razp_Sorbet]

They're very different things... Einstein was autistic, Tim Burton, Charles Darwin, Bill Gates and many more people who would be considered to have achieved great things and be incredibly smart people.

[Opinion Owner]

C'mon Bill Gates? Einstein was a genius! Ain't no way he was mentally challenged.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Again autism ≠ mentally challenged.

[KittyKat90210]

Agreed that saying she should have said yes was really inappropriate. I think the idea to show him friendship and support is very kind, but not at the expense of the girl who wasn't obligated to say yes

[goaded]

Agreed. A "don't give up" (not with the same girl) message would have been better.

[KittyKat90210]

@goaded Exactly!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Maybe they did it because he’s autistic. Either way, at this point is there even a reason to try and help these people anymore, they insist on getting worse and worse. It’s only a matter of time before Respawn starts adding pedophile Legends to Apex and say to anyone who gives backlash “yOurE’ juST peDoPHOBIC, AHOULGH”. Jamm fools….

[CaptainSmartass]

This is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. It's nice that other students sent him a card, but was that due to him being autistic? Would she have rejected him if he didn't ask her publicly?

It raises more questions than answers, really.

Simples...

[NathanDavis]

a good gesture... but a really bad approach to it really

absolutely nobody should feel entitled to any of these things... and we should not be so harsh either, on those who are just being honest and genuine with you

[comekitty]

Why should she have to accept being his valentine if she's not interested? Would their classmates have had the same fan fair for a boy who wasn't autistic? She has a right to her feelings, too.

[begum01]

You’re right, maybe only share some beautiful comments about him could make him happy but as you said the girl who rejected shouldn’t be shamed by others as well

[Still-alive]

Approaching should always be encouraged as long as its respectful of course. but of course its also wrong to shame the woman for being shamed for her choice. she should be able to make this decision free of shame or pressure if possible.

[SnowedIn]

I agree with you. It plays into the narrative that everyone gets a gold star all the time. Reality is that people get rejected. That's a lesson that young man needed to learn.

[Agape93]

Man how this world has changed. Used to be the mentally off kid got rejected, people laughed then everyone moved on. But now he gets rejected and everyone coddles him.

[the-mad-german]

Im getting angry if i read something like that. Anyone gets rejected one day, and nobody cares. Why does he get this widespread reaction? Because he is "special". And how does he feel about being "special" if anyone shows him that all the time?

[loveslongnails]

I wish someone would have coached him to NOT do it publicly. Consciously or not, that's playing the sympathy card. The autism part complicates matters, and though the consolations were nice, the poor kid walked into it. This one is tough.

[goaded]

Yes, he should have got her alone somewhere isolated and then asked, maybe in an enclosed space like an elevator. That always ends well.

I think he was doing the right thing and really don't think he was "playing the sympathy card". It really sucks to be rejected, but it's worse to be labelled a creep as well.

[weysally]

as long as he is happy, that is all that counts