Why do people still have families even though they are expensive to have?

[TenderFantasy]

Whether you're this big:

or this big:

------------

The question of finances will always and forever be a part of your life whether you have children with your partner or not. If people cannot care for themselves (or their partner) as well, what makes them even THINK it's a good idea to have a baby! Or babies!

Updates

+1 y

Whenever I go outside and even online, I am ALWAYS seeing pregnant people and families, whether they are on Welfare or not.

[fonduegirl]

Short answer : stupidity

Long answer : some people like to take advice from elders. Nothing wrong with that. But you can't really compare your marriage with your parents which happened back in nineties, in the economy where mom said and i quote "gold wasn't a big deal". Traditional values are amazing... In an ideal world.

Then there are some who lack proper education. They think kids are insurance, as opposed to action actal insurance.

Also, some people just skipped sex ed back in highschool. Condoms are itchy. They do it raw. Very stupid.

[menina]

It's their choice. Some people always wanted to have a family and they don't care about finances. Others are rich, so money isn't a problem.
But I get your point.

[menina]

Thanks for the MHO.

[ObscuredBeyond]

If both parents have the skills to make money, and train their children at home to be active household participants rather than iPad zombies, the older kids will do their part to help raise the younger ones. Anything not destroyed by the first few kids will be inherited by the younger ones.


This model reduces costs, and ensures that you'll have a legacy, even if you lose a few.

[TenderFantasy]

Ah ok.

[Adam1978]

Because family is more important than money.

[TenderFantasy]

I know that but where do you GET the money if you're bordering homelessness for example? Or living paycheck to paycheck.

[provokeesmokee]

Some folks don't know getting creampied can get you preggers.

Some folks think it won't happen to them.

Others don't care or believe some Sky Daddy will smite them unless they pop out a kid every year.

Humans make a ton of terrible mistakes frequently, generally speaking. Statistically speaking, that means breeders gonna breed.

[Potteplante]

I mean, you can't look at an indivual and determine their financial status - what is expensive for you, isn't expensive for others.

I'm alone - yet I could've supported my daughter, with a partner or by myself without struggling financially.

[TenderFantasy]

"I mean, you can't look at an indivual and determine their financial status - what is expensive for you, isn't expensive for others."

Sometimes you can with the things they own or don't own (House - if it's paid for or not. A new car, etc.) But yeah, I get it, priorities with how people make and spend money are definitely relative.

"I'm alone - yet I could've supported my daughter, with a partner or by myself without struggling financially."

That's cool. .. Can I ask what you do for a living? And also maybe how you GOT it? Thnx.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sure, by outsourcing the parenting to day care which is the Hallmark of a shitty mother.

[Berethor]

Nothing better to spend your money on, without children it almost like you had never lived.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection

[TenderFantasy]

I see.

[midnightmoon05]

They are?
I never heard kids tell their parents they want expensive stuff… they may ant stuff…but doesn’t mean they can get without working for it.
so no…having kids are not expensive…people need to stop blaming kids for their misbehavior.

[midnightmoon05]

I have two children. I raised them when married … I stayed home for 3 years. with one income. At some
Point, my ex. husband lost his job for 9 months while I was home with kids. We never panic because we don’t waste money.
Then I became single mom and lived in a small apt. they still talk about that little apt.
Now being in a small apt. I made myself back to a good place…the kids are extremely appreciative and want to work to make money…not that we need but it’s the mindset with how I raise them to not buy junk and learn to manage money so they are always ahead.

[TenderFantasy]

Thank you for that. It's much appreciated! Seems like you did a great job raising them with the right values of life. Most of the ones you mentioned anyway. 🙂

[Apulu_Imback]

Family is important but it's not worth it to be depressed because you can't maintain a family. It's important that you don't blame your family for your financial issues and it's not important that to be a family you need to stay under the same roof. You are biologically related to someone and are in good or civil terms then you're family. If you love someone or have a lifetime best friend who is not biologically related, you're family.

[FreyaRed]

Loving and being together with someone doesn't cost a thing, even kids aren't expensive if both parents take financial responsibility for them. But out societies are polarized and everyone wants to be the exploiter, men want to make children and disappear because taking responsibility isn't comfortable and for lot of girls are children or/and their partners a business model to avoid work and self-sufficiency.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Well sometimes, you think, we'll make it work. We'll both get better jobs soon, or maybe move to a cheaper area, or our investments will pay off. Or if we don't have the baby now, then we'll be too old and too busy to have one later when we feel ready. Or maybe we'll never feel ready. So let's just have it now and figure out the rest along the way.

And sometimes, birth control just doesn't work. 🤷‍♀️

[snackthatsmilesback]

That's of course ignoring the many cases of people feeling ready, having the baby, and then something happens like one bails, or one gets fired, or a tragedy like an illness, injury, or even death. Life is full of surprises and you can't ever know for sure what the next 18+ years will bring.

[TenderFantasy]

"And sometimes, birth control just doesn't work. " People lie. If birth control had that high of a failure rate, people would be suing the condom/pill companies (maybe for child support) left and right.

[snackthatsmilesback]

They say on the package it doesn't work 100%. You can't sue because the product did what they said it would: work most of the time bit not 100%.

[Anonymous]

Because it's the natural progression of life. This also why God gave people hormones and the ability have children at the age he did. Because if people thought of all the problems that go into having a family and all the problems that can befall you and have the wisdom of a 40 yr. Old. Then few would do it. 😆😆😆

[OfMiceandMen]

Even though it is expensive, I think people scrape together what they have to be able to make it happen. Perhaps, the majority of the money comes from grandparents these days as they seem to be the one's pushing their kids to have children.

[TenderFantasy]

No one can "push" you to have a child if you didn't want it. That's just an excuse some people say to people to reproduce their genetic line. It's a biological thing so I do understand. People have this thing called a "selfish gene". It's also a book by Richard Dawkins I read a long time ago.

[OfMiceandMen]

I saw parents and grandparents pressuring their kids all the time to have children. It may not be what the young adults want, but parents and grandparents still nudge all the time in some families. I know my wife's parents brought it up almost every time we visited when we are in that 25-29 bracket. My buddies experienced the same thing.

I think younger people just keep going about their business and sometimes not even think of children in a marriage, because it is never the ideal time. Parents and grandparents sometimes make them realize, there's never an ideal time to have kids.

[Jersey2]

The cost is overblown by the media. Kids aren’t that expensive. Poor people have kids, middle class have kids, rich have kids and it all works out. Don’t fall for the negative hype. Plus the tax deductions are great.

[TenderFantasy]

I see. Thanks!..

[stepyo99]

Kids aren't nearly as expensive as the media tells you. Plus social security probably isn't going to be there for you when you retire but as long as you aren't a piece of shit parent, your kids will be there for you.

[NamerOfStars]

Because no amount of socioeconomic changes are going to alter literal billions of years of natural selection.

[exitseven]

The truth is that many are not having kids because it is too expensive. Only the welfare class can afford them this results in Reverse Darwinism.

[DizzyDesii]

We were placed on this earth to reproduce. Not that damn much but still

[TenderFantasy]

"We were placed on this earth to reproduce. "

If that is true, then why don't some people get to?

"Not that damn much but still"

Like potteplante said, it can be relative what your budget for raising a family (or even yourself) is. Unfortunately, money is king and I know that everyone subconsciously or even out right knows that.

[DizzyDesii]

I think a lot can happen by blessing/miracle. Many doctors have been wrong. You have to just keep trying

[Sabretooth]

You can't live your life in financial fear... You may as well just off yourself. That's will always be a concern but if you allow that to get in your way... You'll miss out on so much that that you can't even say that you ARE living.

[TenderFantasy]

Well my parents did and they turned out okay, and so does my boyfriend too at times, but okay I get what you mean.

[Sabretooth]

EVERYTHING costs money. you plan on staving to death? being homeless? never going on a date?

[Sabretooth]

and I am not suggesting suicide.

[Sabretooth]

or making light of it.

[Molly1997]

I’m not too worried because I’m being paid to have them and it’s more then enough 🤔

[TenderFantasy]

You're a surrogate for a couple?

Damn.

[Molly1997]

Nope

[TenderFantasy]

So not really sure what you mean by "being paid to have them"? 😛

[Molly1997]

Where I’m from the government can pay you to have kids and the amount increases per child

[TenderFantasy]

... Woah, .. if you don't mind me asking... where is THAT? ! Lol. I know that here in the U. S. A. they have Welfare programs, but they're (at least I don't think) that much. Maybe just to cover basic necessities and I don't know how long a child or family is elligible for them.

[Molly1997]

Canada. $600/month per child.

[Chthou95]

That's cope. Most people can find a way to have kids and make it work. You of course need to make sure your ass is ready to take care of a kid

[Unknown29]

Nothing I dream of more than having a good family of my own. Something money can’t buy.

[art84]

Men and women were created to have children plan and simple.

[LazerBean]

Because they want to and can? Most people are obviously able to finance having children.

[TenderFantasy]

You can't be saying that you don't know MOST people. I think if the Welfare system was gone, a lot of people would be in trouble. Also, yeah, I just saw a heavily pregnant person (most likely 22-29) selling cheap flowers off the corner of the on/off ramp of the freeway. You really CANNOT say that most people can afford.

[LazerBean]

I don't have to know most people, because the government freely and easily provides information on what percentage of people are receiving food stamps. That percentage happens to be about 12%. And I don't know what sort of ghetto you live in, but I haven't seen people selling flowers on the street corner since the last time I visited a third world country. You accuse me of making my opinion even though I don't most people, and yet here you are using one random person as an example. Hypocrite.

[TenderFantasy]

1. Why are you being mean to me? Does that make you feel better about yourself?
2. How am I being a hypocrite , that makes NO sense!
3. I don't live in a third world country. I live in LA. Actually south of that, in one of the richer areas of California (Orange County), so GHETTO? ? ! Think again.
4. Statistics can lie. So you believe EVERYTHING you read online? And yeah okay you have a point with that. I just needed to know how to do research but still, why are you being a BITCH to me? ? ! What did I DO to you? ! You need to change your attitude regarding how you deal with people, maybe you'll have a nicer experience with them, including strangers like me! Try being humble next time, see if that IMPROVES your psyche!

[LazerBean]

1. I saying facts, of you make you look bad then that's your own fault.

2. If you don't know that's also a you problem, because it's obvious. Maybe a dictionary would help you.

3. LA is definitely trash central so yes you live in the ghetto.

4. You're really going to argue with information from the US government Census using one pregnant lady you saw on the streets? Yes use me not knowing everyone as an argument against me? That's exactly what makes you a hypocrite and also extremely uneducated.

[TenderFantasy]

1. Gosh you're a bitch. I am not making myself look bad. You also don't know people behind closed doors. They can just SAY they can afford families but deep down they really count. I know though that most people don't really care. They could be working at Mcdonalds and have five kids in tow. They just want to reproduce! they could even be single moms!
2. Um, I was NEVER a pregnant person begging on an off ramp? I made sure that didn't happen to me? So yeah, still don't get you.
3. I told you I didn't live in LA. I live in Orange County. Look up the stats on average family income level there and you will know what I mean when I say it's FAR from ghetto!
4. I have a few college degrees and I am older than you and have experience more so there goes YOUR argument! Wow you really blow me away with your ready cruelty against me! I hope you grow up and realize that having compassion and empathy for others, especially when they weren't being mean to you, is better! YOU ARE THE ONE THAT is IMMATURE for attacking me first!

[TenderFantasy]

I mean they say they can afford families on the outside but they really can't. It's all just for show. I've seen CHILDREN begging with their moms and or dads even begging on the streets! LOTS of families at the Welfare office!

[LazerBean]

So yes, you are saying you know better about welfare statistics that the government who gives that welfare out and tracks it, plus your insulting parents everywhere by accusing them of being inadequate. Which you the bitch, plus retarded, plus a hypocrite. Stay mad, whore.

[TenderFantasy]

Um, LazerBean, those are facts. If they really could afford it/them, then they wouldn't NEED Welfare! My god. Anyway..

[TenderFantasy]

So you feel bad because I am stating facts? Lol. They cannot afford the children they chose to have and you're mad a me? Lol that makes a lot of sense!

[LazerBean]

And the answer is that most people don't need welfare, since most people are not on welfare, so your welfare argument is small brained and irreyto the majority of people.

[LazerBean]

Irrelevant*

[TenderFantasy]

You can't even provide me a LINK to where you saw your "stats" regarding Welfare lol.

If most people don't need it then good for them, but of those who do, I wonder what would happen if they TOOK OUT that system! Also, a lot of people in Europe have child incentives so I am not sure what country you are looking at or where.

That's good if they can afford them but like someone on here said, affordability is relative!

[LazerBean]

Here's the link since you're too much of a dunce to find the top Google search for "welfare statistics" yourself

https://www.census.gov/programs-surveys/sipp.html

[LazerBean]

If you're too irresponsible to finance another person just say it, everyone knows that's what you're on about anyway.

[TenderFantasy]

Well let's just hope you NEVER in your life need that stuff. I was NOT making fun or being mean to people on Welfare! I wanted to know how MOST people afforded a family! There was nothing in my question that stated that I was speaking ill of them!

Also, I was on it once so I understood the struggle! I also DON'T have this program you are talking about with caring for dependents etc. and who cares if I could be, or others are on it! If they need to do what they need to do, at least they are being responsible! Seriously, you're just an asshole, and for no good reason too!

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

I've wondered, the same thinG ( before ).. I can barely take care'uh myself..

[Anonymous]

I don't know.

[Anonymous]

They want to carry their genes forward