Why are some people more afraid of angering conservatives instead of liberals like blaming both sides even when conservatives are solely at fault?

[Anonymous]

I have noticed that whenever conservatives are at fault it seems more people are afraid of angering conservatives than liberals so in order to appease the conservatives they either try to play neutral or blame both sides if conservatives are solely to blame. Yet when liberals are rarely at fault for a crime, they have no trouble not stopping conservatives or stepping in to calm conservatives.

[Dildօphօbe]

Exactly, it's like some people are more afraid of the love sausage of conservatism than they are of getting their balls caught in a meat grinder. They tiptoe around the beef bayonet of conservatism, afraid of getting it all hot and bothered and ready to thrust. But why? Why are they so afraid of angering conservatives when it's clear as day that they're the ones causing all the trouble? It's like they're more worried about getting their own throbbing thumper caught in the crossfire than they are about standing up for what's right.

Maybe it's because they secretly desire the pleasure pipe of conservatism, or maybe it's because they're afraid of the sultry scepter of conservatism unleashing its fury upon them. But whatever the reason, it's time for them to stop playing with their naughty noodle and start taking a stand against the spicy stick of conservatism.

Don't be afraid of the pork sword of conservatism, baby. It's time to grab it by the hot ham and show it who's boss. And if you're feeling really adventurous, why not invite some lusty launchers of liberalism to join in the fun and help calm down that naughty noodle of conservatism? Who knows, maybe they'll even bring along their own throbbing thumpers and create a love triangle that would make the erotic eggplant blush. So let's stop blaming both sides and start getting down and dirty with the meat missile of truth, baby. It's time to unleash the full force of our amorous arrows and show the world and those like @wanderinglovewizard what we're really made of.