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Not sure if it's just me but it seems like everyone I meet is so immature. And I'm talking about men 30+. Manchidlren, basically. I attract many of those, luckily I spot them on right away. I live in eastern Europe that should've been more traditional, but it's just babies here. I can't even imagine the west?
My theory is a generetion of strong mother figures and emotionally unavailable fathers.
Strong mother figures? Lol, not so much. I mean you're right about mothers being the primary influence in these men's lives, but the problem is most of those mothers are single and they have no clue how to raise a boy to be a man on their own. They think they do, but they don't. It's a well established fact that the children of single mothers, on average, are at far greater risk of all kinds of emotional and mental health issues, are more likely to be criminals and spend time in jail, more likely to rape or be raped, more likely to use drugs, more likley to get pregnant at a young age outside of marriage, and the list goes on and on. Even single fathers have far better outcomes with respect to the health and wellbeing of their children, and the quality of adults they become.
The core problem is the behavior of women now compared to the past. It used to be that women usually didn't have sex with a man until he put a ring on her finger, thereby commiting to be a husband and a father to their children. Today, women breed indiscriminately with low quality men without regard for whether those men will stick around and be a father if she ends up pregnant. The outome of that is easilly predictable, and it's exactly what we are seeing today... skyrocketing rates of fatherless children, and all the inevitable societal ills that result from that.
Add to that the fact that half of marriages end in divorce and women file 80% of them, and it's easy to see today's women are the primary problem in the breakdown of moral fiber and the unraveling of the very fabric of society. Immature men and promiscuous women are only two symptoms of many that have resulted from the decline in female morality over the last few decades.
It's time we stop giving woman a pass on these issues for which they are responsible, and start hodling them accountable. We can't wait any longer because the stakes are too high. The West is at risk of imploding, largey because of the damage done by women's behavior over the last 50 years.
It's not just men. So many adults have a maturity level of children. This world is FULL of people behaving badly. People bullying their co-workers, feuding with their neighbor over nothing, cheating on tests, talking behind the backs of their friends, sleeping with the spouse of someone else, rather than talking things out people destroy another's stuff when they're mad, etc.
Often times, it starts when their parents and other adult figures that let them walk all over them, and now that they are grown up, rather than be held accountable for their actions, they're either ignored or rewarded for being emotionally immature, lacking the incentive to become anything else.
Lack of nurturing as a child does not emotionally grow up. Trauma at any age will shut down your emotional system. Being victimized and afraid to grow up because of more abuse. Having parents who never grew up can't teach you how to be mature because they are not themselves.
There are definitely some immature men out there, especially at my age. But 30+? Nah, it feels like you're really exagerating here. Either that or you just attract low quality men for some reason. You may want to do some soul searching and get to the bottom of that.
Opinion
12Opinion
You will have to be more specific about pretty much everything.
To attempt an answer with what we have?
Some parts of eastern Europe saw terrible losses of men a couple generations back.
This means many things such as women stepped in to fill those spots, many men of today or their fathers would have been raised in a decidedly woman's household and view. Naturally the culture in a country with a deficit of men also changes to a female-bias into a male-bias.
While those are all fairly good and from a societal-science incredibly interesting points they may or may not at all apply to your rather vague complaint.
In general people are products of our environment more than we are of some deep innate personal difference. If most men are emotionally immature it is because something in society leads to that. Similarly if most women are X or Y the same answer applies.
I think it's in large part because boys are mostly raised by women these days, very frequently by a single mother, and in schools with mostly female teachers.
A competent and emotionally mature father figure tends to be absent in the upbringings of a lot of emotionally immature men. The way to raise a boy into a mature man is almost certainly different from the way to raise a girl into a mature woman, as they're totally different creatures.
I lack expertise on how to raise daughters into mature women but at least the process of maturing a civilizing a son, complete with raging testosterone, is not to raise and educate him the same way as a girl.
There is a long list of factors that have led to a cheapening of the quality of young men & women respectively.
An overwhelming sense of individuality and self-happiness being more important than any responsibility, sense of duty, or social expectations dominate that to me. Men (and women) spend their entire existence seeking out little more than happiness rather than fulfillment and depth.
Then, a slow progression of contributing factors such as social media, the advance of liberal ideology which labels ‘toxic masculinity’ as a dangerous and leads weak men to not know how to conduct themselves in the public place. Add to it a remarkable surge or easily accessible and promiscuous women, making the need for respectful interaction with women an option rather than a norm. The list just goes on but it’s NOT a male issue, it’s a societal one. There are just as many emotionally immature women as men, sadly.
I'm not sure that strong mothers would cause emotional immaturity, but I get the point you're making.
I think there is so much immaturity because we live in an era of such convenience. I see it all the time with women too… everybody believes that they have so much time and that a better opportunity is just around the corner. Or rather, a better-suited opportunity for them. Their lives are reasonably comfortable as it is, so they don't feel compelled to move forward.
I can't imagine going through life genuinely believe in that my perfect situation was ever going to plop into my lap without me needing to put in a ton of work. That's the way a lot of people think though.
oh you should see the USA! lack of training and sufficient suffering.
loss of religion, where such values and growth is encouraged. loss of socialization.
good luck to all you women, feel for ya...
is it all intentional to delay reproduction and limit population?
What is meant by emotionally immature? With you being 30-35 I am assuming you are ran through and championed feminist values in your early 20s now that you're older you want a traditional man.
All the traditional men got married to traditional women in their early 20s. Now you demand what you did not even look at or think about when you were younger?
like what to be exact, you are awfully vague about the immaturity thing. care to be more specific? maybe giving an example?
There are two categories of women. The first are women who are too judgmental and uptight to know how to have any fun. The other group are those who say the same guys you call "emotionally immature" know how to have fun and enoy life. SOunds like you are the former.
In the same way some people generalise about there being so many emotionally immature women.
Best not to generalise about these things as it just sounds sexist.
You are attracted to emotionally immature men. It's pretty simple. Most anonymous women on this site are. This is why they're constantly complaining. They've yet to accept/understand she is her own problem. 👍
Irt is baked into our DNA.
Just an old codger x. hahahaha
Nikki is that you?
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