Why are modern men so unromantic?

[Anonymous]

[glutton4punishment]

Because modern women, don't appreciate it.

Ever since playas (women included) turned sex into a spectator sport, people just assume anyone willing to go the extra mile for them.. must be after something. In the woman's case, sex being that most likely "something". Money, being the most likely motivation, if she were to pull out all the stops.

As with any sport... the goal is to win!

Getting down her pants, being the man's way of racking up points. Her's is to create the illusion of being someone the other could envision nestled nicely, into that always vacant.. "perfect", slot.

Located somewhere between gold digger, cock tease, goody-goody, like-mom, slut, (perfect), kinky-slut, bitch, whore and your ex. Not neccessarily in that order, of course.. so you're just gonna have to study the game film like the rest of us, to figure out that one!

That's assuming neither of you were fresh outta training camp, of course. Cause those types usually have to warm the bench a while, before some cruel twist of fate, allowed for their numbers to finally get called. Where they'll be immediately thrown into the fire, no matter how inexperienced or rusty. Doin their best to keep their cards close to the vest, when doing the whole Q&A dance of death.

Innitiated, only as a means of getting to know their competition. Not to be confused with getting to know the person themself, mind you but how they fit into the power-rankings of this year's draft class. Used as a means of deciding whether or not they warranted a spot, on the roster of their fantasy team. Those stats being based on comparisons to their ex's mostly, body language, areas of interest, cell phone snooping, innapropriate questions for or about their friends and family, etc.

Done properly, it then allows them to easily spot any chinks in the armor. Which of course, will then be used against that person, at an indeterminate time. So long as doing so, will then hurt that person as much as humanly possible... I mean, obviously?

As it's a time honored tradition, when playing in one of them big Dating (toilet) Bowl games! I can't tell ya how many times I've seen the competition just crushed and left in shambles, after getting caught off gaurd with a huge personal hit, like that!

Course, if you've been paying any attention, that's cause no one cares enough (to) remember it! Lol, including the one destined for the Hall of Shame, responsible for that playa's early retirement.. when deciding to kill themself, because of it!

Lol, good stuff.. good stuff..

It's their own fault, really... shoulda got childish notions, such as that "romantic" crap, outta their systems back in high school. Probably sooner, if nauseating shows, such as 16 and pregnant, are any indication! Pretty soon, dating games will have reached even the remotest of sandboxes, world wide... there's a lot of bloood, sweat and tears to come people, stay tuned!

So if you're single and expecting someone to treat you to a "romantic" evening out on the town... hahahah... go warm the bench rookie! As you've (clearly) yet to complete your training.

.. better luck next season, though!

[Tonydalyrical94]

Modern men are romantic but the game of romance is already a challenge, if a man doesn't try to impress you "he's not trying hard enough" if a guy is "cocky" he's trying too hard and because women are unpredictable and most are entitled to their opinions the way to approach a woman ends in a few ways : unwanted male pressense, meal ticket to get out of something, selfish agenda, or insecurities of judgment from peers if accepted, slight chance of being accepted but even then that bar is low for men

[btbc92]

Simple. Free access to pornography and sex from women. Most people nowadats have sex without dating, marriage or even before there is a 1st date. Some wven have sex right on the 1st date. Most of the Godly standards are gone, many don't adhere to God's word or believe in God anymore. Traditional roles, and aspects and ways of living is soon to be obsolete. Many sadly already dabble into sexual activities as young as eight years old. So why do they have to put the effort?

In the sense a lot of women are also put off by it. But sadly that's usually from Desperate guys who not only don't know their worth but at the same time they're very pushy. And it can sadly put off the wrong woman, but also scare off the right women. So a lot of men don't know what to do besides the majority already screwing around being manwhores. However, it doesn't help that a lot of women of cheating and doing the same thing. So while there is tons of hypocrisy the issue is that there is a lack of morals, good parenting and upbringing, stable, and lack of understanding besides the knowledge and wisdom. I also believe what the real problem is is that a lot of people that they consider being romantic is not really realistic. Plus a lot of men and a few women find it boring. They would rather hop into getting into sex instead of pretending like they don't want sex. However. It's for those reasons when things get too sexual too fast and for one reason and doing it wrong besides perversely. Is why a lot of people are now philophobic. It's not even love to begin with it just sex. What people call dating today is not dating. It's not even close to courting just know that much.

Almost reason why I'm glad I stood out of it because I'm not getting myself hurt further by those types of crazy guys. People today regardless of your male or female is too selfish in a lot of them don't even know what it means that relationship and many of them forsake innocence nowadays. Unless you really fine an individual that shares your values you just basically wasting your time in this world.

[Sarahloves19]

Omg why dislikes for just telling the truth? Not only they're unromantic but dishonest , horrible and very fragile who can't even listen the truth. Men are WEAKEST.

[Sarahloves19]

Soon we will have triple the male whores than female sex workers.

[btbc92]

That is the life they chose. So let them live it. They care about sex. That's it.

[glutton4punishment]

I didn't vote up or down for your response, cause I (honestly) couldn't..

Coming across someone, who's thoughts on a subject, have me split 50-50 pretty much, on all points contained within... is rarity, enough. Since I don't get behind anything, that directly contradicts something else, I either knew to be true or at least "believed" it was... up to that point.

Unless, I was somehow convinced to change that stance, when my previous take on things, was somehow proven to be flawed in some way. Which in this particular case, it was the religious overtones I couldn't get behind... yet still couldn't deny, either.

I'm not sure how old ya are but ya strike me as being around the same age as me. Meaning you're one of the last remaining members of the old guard, too. Remnant of a by gone era known as an, "O. G.". Least, that's what the younger crowd just loves to refer to us as. Where even though it does kinda border on the insulting... I suppose, they could've referred to us as far worse too, lol.

Anyway, assuming that's accurate, then you've also had a front row seat, to the downfall of humanity... every step of the way. Even if we didn't really notice each disturbing trend, as they occurred, the subsequent fallout, as a result of them... could still always be felt, afterward.

Hind-sight being what is, it then wasn't very hard to discern when and why, the latest deviation from the status quo, occurred (this) time. Ya throw in enough of those type "course corrections", where again, if you're anything like me, anyway... the world around you, soon became all but unrecognizable. To the point where not only are ya left feeling as though you have no place in it... but would make no attempt to lay claim to it, even if ya did!

[glutton4punishment]

Whenever I contemplate how we could've let things get this shitty, it always leads me to the same three "usual suspects".. being at the heart of it all...(every) time... throughout time...

Religion, Greed and the ignorant masses, that allow for the other two, to not only be so effective but accepted as common place, at that. I don't mention any of this, as a means to insult you though, honest. Since it was (you), who actually managed to get me to re-assess my take on religion... of all things.

Your post left me (forced) to concede the fact, you were right about the effect it has on people... including the noticeable difference when it doesn't. Meaning, the removal of religion from the family dynamic, is exactly (why) the moral fiber of the entire human race, is all but non-existent, anymore. Now only clung to, by O. G.'s mostly, all of whom being a dying breed, of course.

Which the thought of, pisses me off.. beyond belief!

Cause there isn't a single thing about religion, let alone the scum that spread it... that showcases anything even remotely associated with the term moral. Let alone, does it exhibit/encourages intelligence, free thinking, love or respect for your fellow man or any semblance of a strong family dynamic, whatsoever!

In fact, one nauseating precept in Leviticus, suggests it's totally cool to buy and sell children..."forever". God itself, set up it's only ill-gotten "son", to be murdered horribly. For things he had nothing to do with, no less..

[glutton4punishment]

And why would it do such a thing? NO ONE knows and no one...(ever) will.

People can say he died for "our sins", all they want but what the hell does that even mean? Who is "our"? Was it meant for everyone on Earth, at the time? Just the people who bore witness to his crucifixion? Or was it really THAT broad a stroke, as to mean every last soul that has ever found themself on this rock, at some point... including those that were gone, long before Jesus ever even showed up..

Assuming it meant that highly unlikely 3rd option, fine.. what (exactly) constitutes a "sin" then? I've heard about the 7 deadly ones but they're kinda hard to implement into every facet of our lives... as they're happening, no less. Let alone, how can it claim to hate something so much, when god itself commits more atrocities in a 60 second time span, then humans could ever amass, in their entire lifetime... combined!

Why am I even forced, to ask these questions?

If you were "god" and decided in your infinite wisdom, to put your own son's life up on the chopping block, for our sins... knowing full well, no one would ever remember why that was, (exactly). Let alone, who it was, (exactly) that it was intended to absolve or why they needed absolved in the first place?

When that thing itself, was/is the only one holding anyone accountable for the shit, in the 1st place! All of which, done so, just so it can keep a tab on all those sins. Where it will then throw the book at me for my laundry list of offenses, just before sending me off to burn for (eternity)? Seemed like "cruel and unusual punishment", to me and all... guess not, though.

Would you (still) have chosen to go through with it, anyway?

Does that sound like the act of some loving parent, let alone.. omnipotent being?

[glutton4punishment]

Cause not only did that random act of cruelty, fail to teach me any sort of moral lesson, whatsoever... it did the exact opposite?

All it accomplished, was to glorify the premeditated and completely unjustified, murder of some guy named, Jesus. A charismatic guy to be sure but clearly, not exactly in his right mind, either.

Less it really was all true of course, in which case his brutal murder, really was orchestrated by his deadbeat, deity dad too, then! Who one may have thought would at least show up at some point, to save the day then.

Then after having put a stop to the scripted to be, days on end, brutal beating and torture of the son it loved so much. Thus allowing for some sort of misguided moral lesson to be learned. Though, if things actually had played out that way... I still fail to see what the fuck that could possibly have been.

But nope, turns out the only lesson to be learned... was for Jesus, alone. When realizing just what kind of cold hearted, son of a bitch, his dad truly was. As if he didn't have a crystal clear picture of that, as it was..

When leaving his immaculately-raped mother behind, to raise him all on her own. A futile exercise, no less.. as they were all made well aware. Since dear ol' dad, put the hit out on him, eons before he was ever even born. All just a footnote in it's wonderful plan, we always hear so much about... and never actually see the fruits of... in any way, shape or form... ever.

[glutton4punishment]

I mention these things, not only to try and convey the reasoning behind my lack of faith.. but also to express why my agreeing with you, is so maddeningly frustrating! Cause without that moral-less deity to "guide us"... the human race, truly is lost. And (that) is probably the saddest lesson to be learned from any of this complete waste of time, we called "life".

You really do write eloquently though, managed to do what no other has... Convinced even me, of all people... that religion truly is or at least was... a (necessary) evil. Cause without it, one day someone may find they're so devoid of morals, they just decide to unilaterally unleash a deadly flu/disease on everyone.. for example.

Anyway, ya may not realize or care but if this pandemic crap, really is humanity's end and all..

While I'm sure this post wouldn't mark a "1st" for you, it's still an end of days accomplishment, worthy of recognition.

At least mine, anyway... nice..

[btbc92]

I have read the entirety of your post. But you have to understand something. Do you have to seek the Lord while he still may be found. Because these coming years is not going to be a good thing. It's going to be really hard for anybody to see or hear from God. That's how dark just trying times are becoming. Whatever problems that you have understand that God loves you and he don't want to see you in a place that separates you from him forever. He doesn't expect everybody to understand everything. But to have a desire to fully understand him will make things a little bit more easier. When I came to this world I came to this world with a lot of knowledge. But, I had to be shown to Darkness of this world, in order for me to come to the light of the father. We are born with his love that's why babies always bring a smile to people's faces. But it's up to us to choose to keep it or leave it. I'm just one of the few we few chose to keep his love because his love is more precious than anything else. Without it oh, and you had nobody else. Who else will you have? Most importantly what would you do if you don't even love yourself? That's why we need God more than ever.

It's not that anything was a necessary evil. But that Satan always tries to mess up everything that God had made right. So God has to fix everything because of the damage. The sad reality is that we tend to get caught in the middle if we are already used for evil. Just know it's better to be used for good, than for evil. Jesus had to do what he had to do because he had to show us the way to the father. And he did. But sadly a lot of things as being taught in churches is not as accurate either. That's why having a relationship with God is very important. And not for us to lean on to our own understanding. I could tell you that by experience.

[kaylaS91]

A lot of the things commonly seen as 'romantic' (buying bouquets of roses, paying for the whole meal when you go out to eat, and just generally doting on your girlfriend like a child) come from a time when women basically had not many more rights than a child- no right to an income of their own, no right to own property, no right to vote, etc.. So it was kind of fitting that suitors would dote on them.

Women nowadays have come a long way towards equality and with a higher percentage of women completing post-secondary studies, as well as the ability to work and make money on their own... something's gotta give.

You can't expect to be treated as an equal, yet expect only one partner (the male) in the relationship to dote on you on a regular basis.

[chris_987]

Wow someone actually thought about the question. So if women start to become better than men do you think they should be the one to wow us be romantic, especially if they start making more money than us

[kaylaS91]

No.
Neither gender is inherently ‘better’ than the other. Both men and women are capable of holding down jobs with comparable incomes so.. just do what I’ve always done- everyone pays for their own shit and behaves in a courteous manner to all. Regardless of whether they’re a man, woman, friend, s/o, etc..

[chris_987]

But wouldn’t it be fair for women to flip roles and start to take care men since men have been doing it for so long. Like there can be classes in how to please men and how get our attention, we can make movies about how awful women treat men because men are now the ones who feel entitled to romance. That’s sounds fair to me

[kaylaS91]

Lol what? In what way have men been ‘taking care of women for so long’?

[chris_987]

You said that women couldn’t work so men has to take care of them

[kaylaS91]

Correct. Women didn’t have the right to have an income of their own so..
Call it what you wish. Either institutional dependency or ‘caring’ for the person who is basically your property in the name of the law.

[chris_987]

Well I doubt women wanted to be farmers and cole minors

[kaylaS91]

... farming and coal mining were a source of income so that’s a moot point.

[chris_987]

What’s moot mean

[kaylaS91]

It’s an invalid point to say to try to prove anything by saying ‘women wouldn’t want to be farmers or coal miners’ because even if they did, we’d never know. Women were forbidden, by law, from any means of an income of their own.

[chris_987]

Perhaps the farther back you go the younger women got married and I doubt a woman who was raise in a society that see a woman’s roll as giving birth to children would want to be a black smith or a coal miners or a ditch digger, or farmer. I work at Lowe’s hardware and women barley want to help me move heavy stuff now. So when I hear you paint women as the victims through our history, I can see that your divorce from the idea that women aren’t that big on hard labor even now and you can fathom the idea that they would rather have a man take care of them than lift a finger. Even though today’s women are the same way. So I always just laugh when I hear girls say women weren’t allowed to work. It’s just ridiculous

[kaylaS91]

I see you’re comparing apples to oranges in picking some parts of society from today and acting like that’d be acceptable in the past, or vice versa.

Maybe you have no success with women cause you have trouble telling right from left. Your job is not to blame for that.

[chris_987]

Thats a lot to unpack, so assumption that I have success with women is based of what? At no point in Time did I suggest that I was failing with women, my only assumption is that you think that if a man criticizing women then he must not be sleeping with them, well I don’t where got that from so I’m just assuming like you.

You need to be more specific you can just I’m making comparisons about women not wanting to do hard labor but provide no evidence contrary to the facts.

[Jamie05rhs]

Kayla, I love what you said in your post. I completely agree with you. Thank you for writing that.

However, I myself have never considered anything financial to be romantic. Romance to me would be writing someone a poem or singing to them or telling them how much you care about them. (And holding hands, and kisses, etc.) And sure, flowers can be included in that, as well as chocolate, I guess. And going out is nice, but it shouldn't depend on one party mooching off of the other.

[kaylaS91]

@Jamie05rhs
I’m glad we’re on the same page! 😊

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well why should they be romantic? Romance is a man whooing a woman, showing he can be a provider and protector and that he finds her to be a desirable mate (beyond sex). Now women say they are equal to men so why would a man romance a woman under those conditions (she can do it herself she doesn't need him), why would he treat a woman as special who has given away herself multiple times to multiple men who more then likely had to do very little to get her (not very fair to him)? Why would he show her she is a desirable mate if he is giving what he has and she is giving him. . . nothing, at least nothing more then sex (if she feels like it)?

The fact is feminism and women have created a culture that doesn't appreciate romance (because she is not a prize to be won because she is a "independent woman" who can take care of herself (doesn't need him) can provider for herself (doesn't need him) and can do anything he can do (why would she get preferential treatment then?) and is a "modern" woman i. e. she is casual with sex, a prize that once was hard to acquire and now very easily is acquired (so why put in that much effort into it), and who find the idea of being submissive, nurturing, and feminine as being weak and also sees her doing the traditional female roles and expectations as being sexist oppression (yet for some reason here you and many women are demanding men do their traditional gender roles).

Basically your either in a modern relationship in which case romance is gone and dead and you killed it because after all it was just a tool of the patriarchy and sexism, it was oppression and good riddance, OR your a traditional woman in which case you absolutely deserve to be romanced because your full filling all of your gender role expectations and he should be required to do the same. Its one or the other and the problem is women have chosen this modern relationship and thus they are not entitled to nor should expect traditional behaviors and customs to apply.

So this is the primary reason for it, their is no longer value in the exchange for men so they don't do it and women are so casual with everything they are simply far to cheap to spend that much resources and time on now a days.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

You do know that women also do romantic gestures don't you? I don't know where you meet all these independent modern feminists who don't like or do any romantic gestures. Maybe it's an USA thing.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

It is common of you americans to not have middle ground and only see extremes. To you the idea of a modern woman who is actually an amazng partner who loves and cares for her man is the same as talking to you of an alien.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@ThisIsMyOpinion First and foremost, no. Their is a reason why the romance genre is almost exclusively produced by and consumed by women, its because it is female centric by nature. Now if your suggesting that I'm saying their are not gestures women can give men that are good and show that they love them, then your an idiot because my argument clearly states that their are they just frequently don't.(We have been through this before, your white knighting is pathetic, stop it. women are not angels they are not perfect, they can and frequently screw up and the data has shown that its more common now then before (again, we have been through the statistical data so I'm not going to rehash that because it didn't sink in the first four times its not going to sink in now)).

As for your talk about the US, your a moron, you do not live in the US, you do not know anything about the US, and you have more then likely never been to the US (or interacted with americans in person) yet here you are trying to act as if you know what the US is about. We are not a land of extremes except in the extremes of freedom and individuality. So kindly fuck off. Can't say if this holds true for europeans in person, but what is it with europeans online believing they are better then every one else and know everything? Its especially frustrating when that person is clearly proven wrong time and time again yet still has the gall to try and talk shit. Mind boggling.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I know that romantic movies are more to women, but to say that has nothing to do with women making zero gestures while dating and in a relationship. If they don't they are not even worth it.
And here it comes the "it's their nature" bs. The amount of times we see it is where we disagree, that's why I wonder if what you say is an US thing.
I know they are not angels, I know they are not perfect. I said this many times. That is not my point.

I have interacted with many americans here, and guess what, THEY ARE THE ONES COMPLAINING ABOUT WOMEN. Not Europeans. Even yesterday I saw a question like "Why are American girls mean to me but european girls are nice?". And you wonder why I put the hypothesis of all you say being due to deal with women who have nothing to do with ours?

[hellionthesagereborn]

@ThisIsMyOpinion Well first off it has every thing to do with women, if you don't understand how the romance genre is entirely consumed by women and almost exclusively produced by women has something to do with women, your just stupid and their is no helping you (and you are just stupid, and their is no helping you.).

As for your interactions, on here, they are complaining, but so are others so are europeans, its a western society thing not an American thing. do you think that the reason why you see more americans talking about it is because we have a population size of 328 million people while your country has a total of 10 million? You think it might be because we have the third largest population in the world while western Europe combined doesn't equal the US? You think maybe that might be the reason why? Of course not, that would require you to think and you have shown multiple times your not very good at that (plus your a white knight and a cuck so what the fuck do you know anyway right? I mean again, we have gone through the multiple statistical studies from both america and Europe showing your wrong but your to fucking stupid to understand it and I'm not going to go through it all over again just for you to not register what is said).

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@hellionthesagereborn I know the movie style is made for women. I agreed with that. Do you even read what I say?
My point was that women also act in a romantic way in relationships.

My comment is by comparison. Most european guys I see here don't complain about women. It's not that I see more, when I see a guy who is not doing it he is european. Not only that but I know that the agenda you have there is was more agressive then the one we have here.
I also gave you stats that you dimissed on the count of "I don't believe those, I only believe mine."

[Kaazsz]

Girls I’ve been with, and girls I’ve only chatted with about relationships and sex, have always told me I am very romantic. But I am not romantic in the sense that girls seem to think about it, until they hear me say how I feel and how I act.


It seems to me that most girls think of romanticism as being, buying flowers, remembering her birthday, doing special things for her designed just for her to make her happy. Basically, the guy is supposed to do something special for her “because he loves her.” This must be some evolutionary shit I don’t know. I don’t know why women expect to have flowers bought for them.


Anyways, for me it’s different. I show my affection and love physically. And I’ve never had a girl complain about it. I don’t buy gifts and bring you flowers. I don’t give a fuck what day your birthday is. By standard definition I am the opposite of romantic.


But in real life, in my actual display of love and affection, the girl I’m with always says I am super romantic. It’s all physical and I don’t know how to explain it to be honest.


If most men are not romantic in the sense of buying flowers, maybe part of the reason is equality? Society values equality. I don’t know that men believe that we should be the one who displays these grand gestures while the woman sits back and does nothing. That’s not our culture anymore.


Other than that I don’t know. I know that other dudes are not like me. For whatever reason, Girls I’ve been with or girls I’ve talked to in depth or had relationships such as friendship tell me I’m super sweet and super hopelessly romantic even though I am the opposite of the flowers and candy kind of romantic.


I just like to express my affection. I love to hold hands, I love kissing, I love cuddling. I love to grab her up at random times into a big hug or grab her face with my hands and “force” her to kiss me. I love to look into her eyes and enjoy her beauty before I tear her clothes off and fuck her brains out. To me that is romance. Just expressing how I feel and being real about it. To me, flowers and candy and grand gestures are bullshit. You do those things so that the girl will let you fuck her. Not because you want to do them. I don’t do them at all. My girl fucks me because I show her I love her for real, not because I tailor make these stupid gestures to guarantee her legs open for me.

[Am_and_Pm]

I know this is meant for both sexes but I feel like some girls might think, "Well, I want candy."

Anyhow, great fu*kin answer. Covers an overall struggle and implies an answer.

Honesty is timeless.

[Kaazsz]

Haha thank you. I do buy candy but only for one girl that I used to work with. We have a special relationship. Not romantic or anything, I wouldn’t want to date her but I think she has a crush on me. She has 4 kids anyways from like 4 dudes and she’s not cute.

But I buy her candy when I see her and I hug the shit out of her. She has a funny personality. She’s like “why didn’t you buy me candyyyyyyy!!! I’m mad at you!” Lmao like it’s all a silly sweet joke. For her I will buy candy and she buys me candy and snacks too.

Don’t know why I’m saying this lol. There’s no point to it but whatever.

[Investigator]

"Why are modern men so unromantic?"

In relation to what and how? A specific decade or some Disney movie you saw that ended with "Happily Ever After"?

To ask "why" assumes that A) men of years past were romantic (an assertion not yet supported by evidence) and B) "romance" is an inherent good that has been lost in years since whenever it was supposed to be a thing and not merely what worked for men at that time (also an assertion). On what basis do you claim either of these premises to be true?

If I were to make a guess, I would say that "romance" was simply a logistical compromise: flowers and chocolate, music, slow dancing--all things people now call "romantic gestures" were probably buffer activities to make courtship seem more "free" and less restrictive back when, and have since been "romanticized" by propaganda as "those nostalgic things to look forward to", the same way "Diamonds are a woman's best friend" was merely advertising by the DeBeers mining corporation to make their inventory seem more valuable when in fact diamonds are super abundant but are increased in value through artificial scarcity. Additionally, the idea of "romance" shifts the modus operandi from "sex" (which is what people want) to "marriage" (a means to an end), if modern dating and relationships are any indication.

Why are fewer men avoiding marriage or being unromantic? Because they don't need to. If the goal of marriage to facilitate sex (which is NOT guaranteed) and men aren't getting it that way, then they'll forgo marriage and pursue other avenues. However, not all men have this option: for men who aren't as physically-gifted and naturally attractive to women, marriage can end up being the only option they have, because casual sex is simply out of the question, for a variety of reasons. So they have to go the "romance" route because it's either "dance the dance" or don't participate in the sexual marketplace. I imagine a lot of men are resentful of their superiors who can sleep around, because the guy who gets casual sex all the time doesn't need to try as hard but the married guy does.My two cents. Agree or not?

[kemo56]

Well sweetheart I think you can thank women's whip for that I don't know for sure but I think it's gotten to the point where a boy is afraid to show his romance now maybe you're talking about after you've already been attached to him but you know romance is something you practice if you can't flirt and be yourself around women then when you're one on one you're not in the habit of flirting or being romantic and you just enjoy the ride I guess but you're in control of that girl don't you know you're the one with all the power he isn't romantic he doesn't get as much satisfaction the way he would like it when he is romantic he gets rewarded within a few weeks he'll be obeying you he'll be romantic I mean you might have to point out thoughts or maybe isn't that romantic what that guy just said to that woman or did no sometimes we need hints sometimes we think things are going just great and you're sitting over the one why hasn't he hugging me why isn't he cuddling with me why isn't he kissing me why isn't he holding my hand why doesn't he hug me and slowly go into making out instead of just jumping on me talk to him teaching training giving rewards when he does good not so much when he doesn't... Now these young guys are going to give me hate letters probably but you do you have all the power you can manipulate a guy in a good way just using the reward technique

[kikino]

My take-
Males are generally thought to be nice to females of any age because that is what is expected of men. You open/hold doors open, compliment a female on there outfit, hair, looks, etc., offer the carry, move, hold, lift items (not because we think they are inferior, weak, slow, etc.,) because thats how we were raised and if we a caught, heard about not doing said things then we are in trouble by our parents, grandparents, guardians, etc..
We are doing this not to flirt or hit on females but its just an 'unspoken guideline/rule' that you follow.

So when you help people out and they are rude you slowly become desensitized and loose interest. So when we want/try to be romantic it may be misinterpreted as unromantic. And our romantic actions my not be over the top due not wanting to come off as clingy, possessive, or creepy.
Think about middle/high school and how cruel kids are.
Yes kids can heal but it takes examples and time and effort with both parties.
As an example when you get a female flowers and she says she doesn't like flowers so next time you get her a teddy bear with coffee for her coffee make. And she get mad because you didn't get her pretty flowers like her friends received. So now you again give flowers and she's mad because your killing pretty flowers.
What do we do?

Its not a full, whole or short answer/opinion but just experience's I have seen/been in.

[caring__1]

Romance has been turned into an obligation, and everyone is resistant to obligations, even if we put those obligations on ourselves. We're much more motivated to do things when it is totally our choice and our actions are appreciated. If you want to see more romance, acknowledge and appreciate the little things he does, rather than implying he's never good enough.

If you want a romantic partner, never demand or criticize. Acknowledge what is important to your partner rather than focus on any sense of entitlement (2 givers are more functional than a giver and a taker). Teach him what works for you and what you appreciate, but keep it realistic and within his means. The more you show appreciation for small things, the more things he'll do. If you only show appreciation for big things, he'll stop doing anything. Guys are highly reluctant to do things if they fear they won't measure up or will be criticized. Understand that criticism is based on the definition of the receiver, not the sender. Never deny what your partner is feeling. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be minimized in that manner, either.

[Heiniken]

Feminism killed it. Women claim that they can be independent and dont need men. On top of that the game is so rigged against men that it simply isn't worth playing.

Marriage - 25k, divorce - 125k, child support - 5k per year per kid for 20 years (100k per kid) - oh and you women get to use the child as a weapon in divorces and hold out visitation rights if we dont cough up the cash.. That adds up to 225k (for one kid) for say an 8 year marriage, or ~30k per year.

Get a hooker twice a month ($500)*12months/year ~6k per year, hassle free sex with none of thenegatives that come from a relationship/dating. Sure risks of STDs but with how many women are sleeping around many of you likely have STDs and don't even know it because you aren't smart enough to get tested.

6k per year for sex with many different hot beautiful young women vs. 30k per year for a failed marriage and divorce with a women who doesn't bring anything to the table or is willing to stick through the tough times? Its an easy f*cking decision when you do the math.

[MCheetah]

Because modern women have become so picky, entitled, shallow, conceited, arrogant, obnoxious, and worthless as partners. (She can't cook, clean, take care of herself, show value to a man, and expects it acceptable to see other people "in an open relationship," but expects someone else to "have their sh*t together" and shower her with affection and value). GTF outta here!

I think we all know, of the two sexes, men value women waaaaaay more than women ever value men. So the fact that MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way; usually-divorced, middle-aged men choosing to swear off relationships forever) is even a thing, kinda proves that it's not just men dropping the ball in relationships.

Hell, at the risk of sounding biased, I'd blame women for 60-70% of the reason relationships and dating are such utter sh*t nowadays. The other 30-40% are on all the cucks, incel men, and male-feminist/Nice Guys of the world. OnlyFans and Twitch thots being a thing kinda also proves the point it's not fully women ruining relationships nowadays. And yeah, sure, some men are pervy slimeballs or legitimate misogynists, but more women seem to be entitled divas who think their pussy entitles them to a six figure, six-foot+ man, more than anything else.

[Reaperbot666]

• In western culture the feminist movement as been going on since the 1850's. over the generations children (boys) have been indoctrinated by public schools, collages and media. to believe that most or all traditional and masculine male behavior is toxic.
• however it wasn't until roughly the 1960's when it went main stream. so western culture men are less likely to be romantic in the modern age. in other words ladies the far leftists cause this whole issue.
• also since many children are now rise in single parent households. they don't grow up watching their parental figures interact in a positive manner. while being good role models for them as to how a couple and family unit traditionally acts.
• many also have what are called "snowplow parents" that remove any real challenges from their life. trying them into "snowflakes" as they got older. where they believe everything should be just giving to them. without any real work or effort applied to make themselves better.
• plus the participation trophies also ruins many children in the long run.
• modern hookup and one night stand culture as also ruined many of them. because they can just get their quick fix of sex in many cases. without having to develop long term or lasting relationships.

[dragoblack]

Because every time we try we are ghosted, told we are being creepy, or that they feel uncomfortable and with the shift in idealisms when pertaining of how men should treat women, most of us don't know what is ok and what isn't to do or say.
I personally find wanting to get to know someone is a romantic gesture, understand what interests make their eyes glisten with excitement and offinging to join them in that. From my experience many women tend to find it creepy for being interested in getting to know them because I'm not being agressive or offering materialistic gifts.
Aside from shifts in male thought pattern, females have also shifted in thoughts of how romance should be and trying to only reap the benefits of dating and romance.
We don't want to be used and taken advantage of, we just want intimacy and someone who cares about us romantically.
Romance and a relationship should be like best friends that really care about each other with romantic benefits but so many go into it for sex, material goods, free food, and so on which is why even if 2 people get together, it has a high chance of not working out

[SjE78]

most of us are romantic, i know myself and those i know are... we have always made the most romantic gestures and done what we could for each of our girlfriend's in the most romantic ways... from flowers and chocolates to going out of our way and doing something big and meaningful...

hell i've treated each of my past girlfriend's with romance, even one that wasn't initially interested in the romantic stuff cos of her never experiencing it before...

flowers to candle lit meals for two, and relaxing infront of an open fire on a fur rug... to many more...

[MrOracle]

Women are the "choosers", and women stopped prioritizing romantic men and instead either chose men who were hot looking or who had money. Romantic guys were often ignored and sometimes belittled (unless they were ALSO hot and/or rich), so men got the message that romance was no longer a priority with women - and romance has ALWAYS been mostly a benefit for women. So, if women didn't care, why should men?

Obviously, there are exceptions - women who care about romance - but you can simply observe the women around you - particularly the ones who tend to be single a lot - that they aren't looking for romantic men, but rather have other priorities.

[Novacane]

There is a saying "Romance is dead, and women killed it"

Nowadays it is hard to be romantic, not many people appreciate it anymore, and people who try are considered a hopeless romantic. That's why many men don't want to be romantic. Don't get me wrong there are some people who are romantic to their significant other but that's only once they are already together. Nowadays people who are romantic are seen as a simp by ladies, also let's not forget that most women always choose the guy that doesn't treat them romantically. It has been proven that women go for guys that treat them like shit. Most guys are realizing this so nowadays nobody wants to try anymore.

[Just21]

Honestly just like Steve Harvey once said it’s us women who set the bar for men. If we allow the bare minimum and give them everything for just the bare minimum, why would they put in more effort to please you. Men nowadays don’t know how to respect and appreciate a woman. It’s just very sad..

[CharaS]

I really like this post. We really do need to up our standards. We hold a lot of the power to shape society through it.

[iFarted]

Well I mean... quit going for the rich, good looking guys who has line of women who want em.

[Shamalien]

So, so, so true. So like if you are @charas and talk about deepthroating on your profile... guess where that bar is set?

Lowly whore to be treated like a sex object and nothing else. Hey if that's a kink great, but if you let kinks run your life you will end up very fucked up. You want respect? Act respectable. When women demand respect, men will meet that standard. Men WANT to have to work for it, it's in our DNA. It's very rare that a man will hold himself to a high standard if women don't.

[btbc92]

@iFarted

Really? Rich good-looking men have zero to do with it. If you don't have income to provide as many of us should be expecting to have families then that is already to standard. The problem is that if a man is over real good looking as many human also one good looking women who are you to judge? The same issues we have all the same issues you have. The most you basically do it for sexual reasons you don't do it because you want to build a friendship and get to know a person. That's how a lot of you meant end up single. And that's why a lot of us women end up going for such men. If you want a man that is able to provide then you automatically qualify. That's how it's been for eons what makes you think it changes today? Start building and have a rational and logical reasons to date. If you called for that life than you must qualify. If you don't qualify remember one thing. Beggars can't be choosers.

[btbc92]

Your looks is only going to get you but so far. But unless you're a supermodel getting paid for your looks. your looks is not going to pay the bills. Or till the fields. A farmer is more qualified than a man who's sitting on his butt all day.

[hahahmm]

Because most modern women don't deserve romance. Men are not obligated to give you anything. Each year women give LESS but expect men to give everything we gave in traditional relationships before feminism changed things. You can't use your having a career as an excuse to get out of doing things for your man and then expect him to keep giving while doing everything career wise and at home that his great grandfather had to do. We might be foolish but we're not complete fools.

Part of that is also laziness and disrespect for men. If you have the philosophy that a man's opinions don't matter then you'll do silly things like dress like a bum around the guy 100% of the time at home or cut your hair short and dye it green. Maybe gain 50 pounds. If your "freedom" repulses a man or makes him less interested in romancing you that's on you.

[hahahmm]

Plus, if you think romancing means chasing a woman: we know that you give MORE to the guys who don't bow down and beg you for stuff so we've learned to worry less about your feelings.

[Jamie05rhs]

^Your comment is spot on.

[TheLawAroundHere]

This isn't a mystery. Masculinity has been shunned and put down so much that men have been reduced to boys.

I get why men have been reduced to 2nd class citizens. I mean, we have run the world down into the ditch for a long long time. Something... ANYTHING... had to be done.

I dont think that everything that was killed was an intended target. Yes, of course, women are on an even level with me. But since the things that should have been dropped... the harassment, the pay difference, etc... things that should have stuck... the chivalry, the admiration, etc... went the way of the dodo bird, as well.

I tell this to my grandson all the time. If you want it, you can have it. But you have to take all of it. You can't cherry pick.

[Angelo75]

Well I could say "porn" and also "women trying to be less womanly".
I think I'd be more romantic with a woman who appears sensitive, delicate, vulnerable and in the need of a man in her life.

Don't get me wrong. I do believe that woman should have the same rights as men.
I just don't feel very much attracted or romantic when I have a discussion with a woman about who should pay for dinner-date. Or if I should open the door for her or not.

That will kill my romantic vibe.

But that's just my opinion.

[Am_and_Pm]

Becz its fu*king 20/20... the blast orginal thought died when the 80' ended. Back when women had few rights and men where doing as they were told.

I feel like today people r waking up and doing different things. However, people who r expecting things the old way, they seem to be a dying breed. Romance, in my opinion, is evolving with us. Which could mean, the end of Love.

So, move over ladies. Robo chicks r coming home tonight. And Good luck. I hear robo chicks know what to do and when to do it.

[ZumbiGeneral]

Personally when I am romantic and try it goes unappreciated. When I invite a chick straight to my house I get all the benefits of being a good partner. 🤷🏿‍♂️ not trying to blame but women have killed it these past couple generations. Guys that try get called simps and people label them off. Supposed regular dudes don't really haft to be romantic because girls don't go for those guys in the first place. Now a lot of dudes are creeps and only want to have sex anyways. I dont see why they would need to be romantic either.

[Bandit74]

Well for one it seems like there is not much incentive like the girl doesn't really reciprocate with anything to make the guy feel special or appreciated. It's kind of a one sided expectation. That and girls are sending nudes and casually having sex outside of relationships so why do I want to put in all the effort to be romantic, pay for dates etc knowing some guy on tinder had her sending nudes and naked in his bed with a fraction of the time/effort. Maybe it shouldn't but the the thought of that makes me feel pathetic and inferior compared to the guy that got those things so much easier. If I am going to put in effort towards something I would rather put my efforts into being more like the guys on tinder so I can get the same treatment they get. And I know I am far from the only guy who feels similarly on this topic.