Why are modern men so unromantic? (Page 2)
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Probably because if you're romantic with the wrong women it can be a turn off or even seen as creepy.
If you're too romantic, then it becomes an unfair expectation on you that you must continuously exceed to show how much you care (i. e. Valentine's day).
Romance is fine in small doses. But, like anything, it has to be earned by the woman. Guys that give it away too freely set themselves up for being used and unappreciated.
But thanks to society pushing romantic ideals, women don't want to earn it. They expect it and when they don't get it, it's somehow the guy's fault.
I find it weird that people are blaming it on the easy access of sex.
For me it was because my past experiences of being romantic got me into an unesscary world of pain.
The lack of ungrarefulness I saw with my first girlfriend just changed my pov on being romantic for me.
To me I see bring romantic as making yourself as emotionally vulnerable. When heartbreak hits no only I am there to pick up the pieces.
Doing everything right, and still being left in the dirt just makes a man not want to be romantic anymore.
Which
The effort of being romantic doesn’t reap enough benefits with a gal who isn’t his girlfriend.
Girls don’t get romance during the dating phase, because women don’t prioritize romance. Most prioritize douchebag behavior & are more likely to fuck him and commit to him, than a romantic guy of equal attractiveness
Right. Giving romance to a date would be like romancing a street hooker. She's not loyal to the guy & she's got 100 other dudes she considers equal priority most likely. Nobody is buying roses for that.
@hahahmm I agree, romance comes when I have her commitment. I’m not romancing some girl could have been sucking dick an hour before I met up with her on the date.
In reading the comments from both sexes I would say the overwhelming theme that is slaying romance is, cynicism. Both sexes appear to cynical of the opposite sex in general. Which is likely where most of the disconnect exists in the first place.
Men suck/women suck isn’t paving a path towards endearment for either sex. What is worse is now even within the respective sexes you will find women smearing other women and men smearing other men when they do not equally share in their cynicisms toward the opposite sex. It’s a snake eating its own tail...
i think it´s less likely that guys are romantic because we are unsure if females like us being romantic. We often hear about feminism and emanzipation and it makes unsure if we should be romantic. We, guys, learn at some point in life that romance is appreciated.
I think this is a great question and has been at the forefront of my mind!
and the only conclusion is that not just men I feel women have just become unbelievable aggressive or the last few years I`m not sure why the general population just seems to have trigger happy tempers over the smallest things although this probably the most prosperous society has been in quite a few decades yet, the violence is on the up, divorce, substance abuse, I really have taken a step back from society generally because trying to pleasant has become a liability, I personally love feeling good every day not pretend truly feel good and each day I easily need to avoid at least 10 people before they ruin it foe me. my reason for being on the up is because it is just so much easier. my secret I look for one good thing every day
People have different definitions of romantic. I'll assume ur into chivarly. In modern times as in right now i think chivalry is dead. Or it could have changed. It's more dynamic than just opening doors, giving flowers and all the other typical romantic gestures.
I dont think thats true. Modern romantic men and women both exist, just at a lesser rate because standards have changed. Men are no longer expected to always pay for dates. Things are becoming more 50/50 in more relationships nowadays in comparison to before. And with that, you'll find the burden of being "romantic" on men lessening. However, there will always be certain individuals with a more old school mind who'll bring flowers on a first date, but its just less common as dating is more casual in general now
Modern women are picky, they expect too much from men (not all of them). Of course they are men who a romantic during dating and in a relationship, but you have to find them and they have to be willing to be romantic. In fact, some men don't open doors anymore because women can say "I'm perfectly able to open the door myself". Yes, we know that, but we want you to feel special. Some men don't approach girls, because they think "if she wants me, she should approach me".
In todays world it's all about hookups instead of courting girls, which is a bummer. Romance does excist, but it's hard to find.
Because women dont like it mostly and the few that do are not in a position to demand it anymore because most women dont care.
I can burp and fart and tell a girl to stfu so i can watch tv and still have my choice of women. So why would i choose one who makes me be romantic? Especially when that girl is no better than any of the others?
In the past women as a whole demanded some level of gentlemanly behavior and to some level kept their legs closed if they didn't get it. But now thats all out the window.
Others have given great answers, but in a nutshell, a guy doesn’t have much incentive to pull out the stops unless she expects it, she appreciates it, he’s competing against other guys to get her in a relationship, and she is desirable. A lot of women seem perfectly content with hookups and short term flings. rather than long term relationships, and romance presumes stability.
I agree with this except for the competing part. I compete against no one. I ain't playing that game.
But I also think you could have left out the "desirable" part. Because a lot of girls will read that and feel bad because they think they're not desirable (but they really are).
@Jamie05rhs: Someone can read whatever they want into anything, and that should in no way be taken to mean that; however, women need to understand that a guy isn’t going to do that For a woman he doesn’t consider long term relationship material.
Because, on a subconscious level, females are hard wired to see romantic men as weak simps.
They will reject the man who wants to love them and throw themselves, crotch first, at the most worthless sociopathic bad boy they can find.
Ignore what a woman says she wants. Instead, look at for whom she opens her legs.
Because you desire what you want and not what they're offering. It's a trend we learn by example. Now if there's no example how do we learn? Uf you want love attention and respect which will yield integrity maturity and responsibility then it starts with you. Dont complain if you dont input. Take care if you the way you need to take care yourself and everything will fall into place.
because no one is teaching them how to be a romantic guy plus the romantic guys most of them are faking it so they get girls. thank god i never had such experience and i met my true romantic gentleman who keeps spoiling all the time and i do the same for him. if people never teaches their kids! who will teach them then? and have you seen the guys now days they can't even wear a suit and a tie and walk right
none romantic cry babies dislike this so pathetic
Because you are picking the super-hot, athlete-looking guys! They don't give a shit about a woman! They can get 100, without even trying!
You ignore the guys that will treat you like you want, because they are not superstars, not famous, not actors.
They just care, and would love you, and treat you like a princess, but nobody wants them, so they BITCH and complain, that they can't find a good guy. . .
Girls become 10 times more attractive when they exhibit their feminine characteristics. Same for the boys when they show their mature and soft side. But due to this hookup culture, sex has become so easily accessible that one doesn't even get the opportunity to know someone better. Coz why make extra effort to be that best version of yourself when it isn't even needed.
At the end of the day, sex in itself can be that driving force that makes a person move. While we just don't put the effort otherwise.
A combination of subpar social skills common in our generation, and a general apprehensiveness caused by the seemingly widespread anti-male cultural fad. A lot of guys aren't going to take any initiative with romantic advances when they aren't 100% certain that they aren't going to get accused of harassment. On the other hand, you can also blame the prevalence of hookup culture for this too.
Because you are likely typical woman who only goes for looks and not personality. Not saying that's a bad thing, as being a devastatingly handsome man, that's to my benefit. But you need to put more stock into personality in a partner before blaming the entire male sex for your self imposed misfortune.
Men were never romantic. Few men are naturally romantic. It's learned. Women like it, and men figure that out.
Same with compliments. Women eat that stuff up, and men figure that out.
Both are learned. If they start doing it, they might begin to like it, but it doesn't really come naturally for most men.
You're just dating the wrong ones. If you want romance, then the kind of men you're attracted to are probably not the right choice.
Unfortunately, unattractive people are also not the right choice m. So tough luck, you're skrewed. Welcome to planet earth. Population, 7.8 billion.