WHY ARE MEN SO CONFUSING?

[babylina96]

I had a conversation with my boyfriend, he said he felt like he wasn’t ready for the relationship and was apologising for rushing it. I was left confused, so today I asked him about the stays of the relationship (for clarity as I thought we’d broken up but I wasn’t sure), he said:

“Let's reassess & talk about it when I get back. As embarrassing as it is for me to say I might not be the financially stable, mentally strong man you deserve”

Does does this mean? I’m confused, I thought he had already decided that he did not want to be in the relationship anymore from the conversation we previously had.

[Lionman95]

He wasn´t ready to talk about his situation when you approached him to talk about your relationship status. Maybe there´s something happening in his life that led him to questioning everything. He might be confused and I think it´s better to let him sort out his life.
If you want to message him something, write him something like you realized that it was awkward for him to talk about your relationship status and that you´ll love to talk when he feels ready.
That way you show him that you´re still on it waiting for him to figure out what he wants while it´s his responsibility to solve the situation.

[babylina96]

You’re right. He actually did say that he was going through depression. But it was recent and was sorry that he did not let me there for him by not telling him.

I replied to the message he sent telling him that I am there for him on his terms and I want to check in on him here and there and should tell me if that’s okay, and if he wants to be left alone it’s okay too. He didn’t reply. I guess he wants to be left alone. So I have left him alone.

But i see his WhatsApp last seen, he comes online here and there (not often). I guess he does not want to talk to me but wants to talk to everyone else.

[Lionman95]

Give him time, don´t overthink it too much. You did what you could by offering him a moment to talk now it´s his responsibility.

[babylina96]

I really did. I will do just that 🥲

[Lionman95]

I know it's not easy but that way you could help the both of you and with your message he'll know you are there for him.

[Nawlins34]

Okay, to be fair to you, he did say two different things.

So, I definitely see why you needed the clarification.
But what I'm looking at is the general direction his statements were going.

Statement #1 says he's done
Statement #2 says he is okay with being done

None of these statements say he wants to continue the relationship. The common theme is in agreement.

I suspect while he wants to end it, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and is struggling with that. But ending the relationship is a viable option for him.

[Just4ThisNow2]

Rather than to feel powerless and in a state of uncertainty, why not take control over the situation? You're both voluntarily invested in this relationship, and one (or both) of you can end it. I'm not suggesting that you be jaded, skeptical, or cynical of others. Simply, it's important to know that people rationalize all sorts of things to each other. No matter what he outwardly states, this is just an excuse. Any time that one professes that he/she might not be enough for the other person, it's important to consider for whose purpose is it being said, and why. People don't like confrontation. If someone says, "It's me, not you," what they truly mean is, "It's you."

[boggboss]

But at no point sis he say he is ending the relationship just that he was not ready and again not the man he feels u deserve clearly he is insecure and overthinking lol

[babylina96]

What does one do in such a case? I have just left him alone 💀💀💀

[babylina96]

I didn’t know what to do. After I replied to his message, he didn’t reply so I left him alone💀

[boggboss]

The balls in his court

[jshm2]

Seems more like you're both not the mature adults you think you are.

[babylina96]

Ookkkaayyy

[Anonymous]

"Why is my boyfriend so confusing?"

There, I fixed it for you. ^

[babylina96]

Pass.

[Opinion Owner]

Mmm hmm

[Waldoe]

he doesn't think he is good enough for you, maybe he is right