Why are men so confusing?

[Anonymous]

So 2 years back, I met a guy on a dating app. I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship and neither was he. We started talking and became good friends. Almost 3/4 months later I started having a little crush on him and I let him know right away before it became serious. But since he wasn't over his ex girlfriend, he said he would never be in a romantic relationship ever and also that he would never even get married. Since I got a clear cut answer, I moved on from that crush and we still remained friends. Then one day he told me he had a dream about me and that we were cuddling in the dream, and that he had a crush on me in the dream, but then he again confirmed that he has no feelings for me irl, and I didn't think much of it. So after almost a year of knowing each other, he started calling me by pet names and would flirt with me in between our convos to which I wouldn't respond by the way, coz I don't wanna end up hurting myself. So recently, around 2/2.5 weeks back, he said he had a very intimate dream about me, literally a sex dream. Then he said, he has never once had any kind of such thoughts about me before, so he's confused as to why he had such a dream. But after that dream, he started flirting with me all the time, talking about how he's willing to make that happen irl if I'm okay with it. So when I told him I'm not interested he would still jokingly flirt a lot. So 2 days back, he asked if I would ever let him know my sexual side to which I replied never, coz I said I'm not into casual relationships. To which he replied that he has no romantic/sexual feelings for me, and that he would never have any romantic feelings for me ever.
So my question is, why is he so much confusing? Like what does he want?

Guys/Gals, please let me know what you think.
I'm confused/annoyed af!

Thaanks! :)

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you're feeling confused and annoyed by this guy's behavior. It's possible that he himself is confused about his feelings towards you, or he may just enjoy flirting and making suggestive comments without any intention of actually pursuing anything with you.

It's important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries and make it clear what you are and are not comfortable with. If you're not interested in pursuing anything with him, it's okay to let him know that and to stick to your boundaries. If he continues to push or make you uncomfortable, it may be necessary to distance yourself from the friendship.

Ultimately, it's up to him to sort out his feelings and be clear with you about his intentions. In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and finding relationships that are respectful and fulfilling for you.

[Asker]

Oh, thank you so much!

[Gingerbread_GB]

It's not confusing at all, maybe because I'm a man. He didn't want to be in a relationship with you in the beginning because he was recovering. That's probably true, but people get over past trauma. Overtime he because more receptive of a new relationship and you were conveniently there. So he started flirting with you.

When he says think like "confused about the dream", "let him know your sexual side", he was just probing you on how you feel about him. When you flat out rejected him, he was probably upset with the "I never liked you anyway" response.

So yes, he's into you, but he's upset at your rejection and tried to save face.

[Asker]

Multiple times over the span of 2 years, he has repeatedly told me during diff convos that he's not into me romantically/sexually, and then he flirts and says stuff that confuses me.

[Gingerbread_GB]

Because he want to keep in touch with you in case you change your mind. He likes you, but he doesn't want to scare you off by saying he likes you.

[Pinay_ako]

Men aren’t confusing.

if you’re confused about him, it means only one thing - HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right!
Anyways, ty!

[Gent207-2]

Wtf did I just read

The backup plan?

You two clearly have some form or degree of attraction to each other even subconsciously. Seriously quit the foreplay and just go on a serious date. If you two aren't vibing than move on.

Otherwise stand firm on your boundaries or breakup.

[Asker]

Hmm, I guess I'll make my boundaries more clear! Anyways, ty!

[ChillaxingLove]

Men are easy, however anyone not emotionally available is a burden to any serious relationship. Never let someone who still has feelings for another person drag you into a relationship. When someone tells you who or what they are always believe them, and deal with them by that.

[Asker]

Mhm, right! Anyways, ty!

[EricSummer]

He seems to be one of the men who can build up an attachment based on the situation. He was attached to his ex girlfriend and took time to get over her. On the other hand, he desires you sexually, but he feels that he could never have deep emotions for you.

You are the type of woman to him that he wants only for casual sex.

I would see that as an insult.

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

Men’s minds and their sex drive are not in sync. The sex drive tries the influence the mind. His arousal over you is his lizard brain wanting to mate, but because he knows and likes you, you come to mind before any girl he doesn’t know on the street. The male sex drive is very involuntary, strong and frequent, and can be in disagreement with the conscious mind.

[Asker]

Ah I see!
Anyways, ty!

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

No problem.

[Unit1]

He's hurt. Way too much for him to get over it. Advise him to get therapy but do not force him.

Remember. Sometimes you might help people out but ultimately they're gonna have to help themselves. That is IF they want to.

[Asker]

We have never really had a convo about his prev relationship, it's something he doesn't like to talk about. And I've always respected that. So there isn't much that I can do here! 🤷🏽‍♀️
Anyways, ty!

[Unit1]

Right.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Clearly he's denying so not to get hurt. He has feelings but doesn't want to act on them. Basically he's afraid to feel. His subconscious says otherwise.

[Asker]

Ah I see! Anyways, ty!

[Reorx]

Sounds like fear of rejection, anytime he leans in you pull back & vice versa.. I run into this often myself & what I do when I'm confused is move on.

[Asker]

Ooh!
Anyways, ty!

[Anonymous]

Men are not confusing, we are upfront about most things. WOMEN make things confusing because they have to over analyze and try to put a female perspective on everything.

[Asker]

Oh! So you're saying I'm over analyzing this?

[Anonymous]

He lied about the dream and tried to make it seem innocent. My two cents... he was just wanting sex with you and tried to make it seem like he doesn't really wants. Most likely horny and desperate in a look for a pretty quick fuck

[Asker]

So complicated, oml! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Anyways, ty!

[Opinion Owner]

It is not that complicated, just be careful with your decisions some people can be very tricky

[EpicSnail]

My guess is he just wants sex

[Asker]

I think so too!
Anyways, ty!

[Iron_Man]

Some people are just confusing

[Asker]

Ikrrrrr!
Anyways, ty!

[Iron_Man]

Yeah

[In_Trance]

for the same reason women are

[Asker]

Haha, ig!

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why women are so confusing

[Asker]

Ha, ig!