Is it wrong to assume everyone's an asshole until they prove otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Assume everyone will betray you and you'll never be dissapointed

[Paul09]

Most people are assholes. It is a selfish things humans do. I find it very rare to meet non assholes. But I don't necessarily Think that at first. Give it a few minutes first lol

[Overandunder89]

Right or wrong, it's what I do and so it shall remain.

[OlderAndWiser]

It is neither right nor wrong. It is simply an option that you choose. If you have the ability to do so, take a few steps back, look at your life, and see how that option is working for you.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes, this attitude is destructive to society and relationships.

You can be cautious and not ignorant nor naive without keeping everyone at bay, or pushing people away.

This attitude and policy is not based on statistical fact of danger, and is a coping mechanism for feeling like they can't be hurt again. But it is also alienating in the long run. And the more people do this, the more individualistic, untrusting, and lonely a society will be created.

The more accurate conclusion is that everyone is fucked up in their own way. People are messy. Emotions hinder, and help us have a wider and more dynamic experience of life. But people are going to fuck up, offend, hurt, and all sorts of other things. But there's a difference between these and something that truly warrants extricating someone from your life. Now, everyone is looking for "red flags" in others - and finding them. It's cut-throat and intolerant. This is the most judgmental culture I've lived through, and it shows no signs of easing up.

So be careful about finding reasons to ice people out of your life. It's called confirmation bias. The more you look, and expect by default, the more you will find. Whereas you could just as easily decide to turn the other cheek, see the good in people, and treat them as a friend until they've done something to truly betray you.

[Asker]

I don't want to be betrayed. The worst thing about betrayal is that it doesn't come from the enemy

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'd say it's at least logically incorrect. To be an asshole requires someone to commit malicious or irresponsible actions. So to assume that without evidence doesn't make logical sense.

That's assuming people are guilty until proven innocent, and one of the reasons that's so counter-productive is that it can sometimes be virtually impossible to prove innocence if we assume guilt. The only way to prove that you are innocent of a murder is to prove that someone else did it. Otherwise the lack of evidence, if we assumed guilt by default, makes you a murderer; you're a murderer because there's no evidence that you aren't.

So you can see how counter-productive this can be to assume that anyone is anything but innocent until we have data that they aren't. If all of us thought this way, society is doomed.

[236color]

It not necessarily wrong, it can be unproductive though. Yes LOTS of people are assholes, lots of people will betray/disappoint you. Problem is, if you expect everyone to be an asshole, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Also, you tend to become an asshole yourself. So, unfortunately you have to stick your heart outhere for it to be broken again, and it hurts, but that's the only way to win the prize.

[Summeroflove]

I think so. I’m suspicious of everyone. But I don’t necessarily assume the worst either. I try to see the best and worst in everyone. If you only look at the best. You will get hurt. If you only focus on the worst that’s a dangerous game as well.

[NaultD]

Prejudice Means pre judgment.

You go to trial for a parking ticket. Judge says life in prison. Why? I Don't like your face. What did you expect?

Of course it's wrong. You know it was wrong before you asked.

[rachel776]

some people see the world as a friendly place, some people see the world as hostile

same world

[IslaTheWitch]

I prefer the opposite approach... it hurts if I give the benefit of the doubt to the wrong person... but at least I don't have to look behind me in every dark alley expecting the worst...

[virtualwasp]

yes i do because everyone will let you down in the end. best to be alone and others can be bought.

[virtualwasp]

fyi im not right but its how im feeling, not let my negativity limit your life and fun.

[exitseven]

Yes, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[ChiTown33]

It's not wrong. Perhaps pessimistic but it'll save you a whole lot of disappointment if you think this way.

The key is to think this way without being negative.

[Peridot25]

I do that all the time. So not really because people always prove me right 🤷‍♀️

[laly520]

playing safe

I see

[Asker]

Should've been sooner

[SolitarySolace]

Innocent until proven guilty

[NathanDavis]

it is sad

[OtterMan68]

yes, yes it is.

[Booklover_90]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Not at all.

[Anonymous]

Yep.