What's wrong with being an asshole?

[tex151]

What is so bad about being an asshole, guys whine and cry they can't get a girl because they're to nice, and women whine and cry that their boy friend is a jerk, so they go to the nice guy and talk to him about. The nice guy comforts her and tells her things like you deserve better, and she goes oh your so nice any girl would want to be with you. Funny thing is he never gets a girl.

Ok so I am the type of guy who gets the girls because I am a jerk or an asshole and its funny cause not matter how much of a jerk I am they keep coming back.

Seems like the jerk is getting a bad rep yet he's getting all the girls, while the nice guy is getting a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Come on guys seriously if being nice doesn't work why don't you try to be a jerk it's obvious women want that so why don't you give them what they want?

Updates

+1 y

For the record people since some of you think that I am uneducated and in need of "self healing," I have a college degree, sorry to burst your bubble, but your theory is wrong, but keep um coming I do enjoy your opinons no matter how outrageous they are.

[heathrob89]

let me start by saying that this question is particularly relevant to my life. generally, with girls I like, I treat them very nicely, respectfully, I'm very selective, go for girls that I'm attracted to on an intellectual and physical levels and play a confident game in the beginning.

what happens? I've been getting absolutely shit on recently, I respond quickly to their texts, make myself available, compliment them, do prototypically nice guy things. they begin to develop a certain apathy towards me after a very short time. they lose the passion that they have for me when I first meet them; when I come off a little cocky, mysterious, cute w/e they get from my game. this apathy turns into not responding to my texts, abusing my respect for them, and eventually dumping me. so essentially, what I'm trying to say, is that there is definitely truth to what you're saying. it seems like girls need to be kept on constant edge, they can't be complacent, even the really cool respectable ones. It's a sad truth.

I don't know that being an asshole is the right way to approach it, definitely holding ground; opinions, preferences is one thing, but being a blunt dick is not very conducive either, for example I hung out with this girl who I'd hooked up after about a month of absence, I texted her a lot during that period, I got the impression that she had put me in the friend zone from the moment I first saw her again. so I decide to be a dick, make fun of random people, constantly assert my manliness, now we're not even friends. quintessential example of how being a blatant asshole does not work all the time.

Now here's my responsive question, does being a passive asshole work? not texting? being very indirect, f***ing with their heads, this seems more effective. I'm considering going against myself as a "nice guy," and implementing some of these principles. I've been suffering way too much from this shit. Maybe being an asshole is correct, but in more implicit terms.

Let me know what you think man.

[tex151]

It only works if you play it right as in hit a nerve, look at all the women responces I've hit nerves with them without even trying. I don't make fun of random ppl, nor do I always assert my manliness, but I am assertive, and I am not afraid to say woman make me a sandwich, or if they talk to much and they say what do you want me to do I'm not afraid to say shut the hell up. It gets them mad and they come at you, if you cower you lost, and they call you a pussy. Just say what are you going to do?

[heathrob89]

Interesting, I'm going to repost my comment to get more feedback, there's definitely truth to what you're saying

[EasyEC]

Jerk basically means selfish guy that doesn't give a rat's ass what women think. Yes, that image of masculine power and spontaneity is very attractive to women.

That same selfishness will also prevent connecting to women on a deeper level. Basically, deep down you're still going to feel alone and eventually you will get a bunch of added stress from women that attempt to nag, manipulate, and otherwise change you into someone they'd rather be with. At least before they break up with you (or you them).

Better than being a jerk, learn how to be confident, assertive, and bold...while still having the girl's interest (and your own) at heart.

[tex151]

I am extremely confident, assertive and bold, I will never let a girl walk all over me or take advantage of me, mind games forget it, like I tell them you can f*** with me but when it's my turn your the one whose going to get hurt in the end not me. What woman doesn't nag, I connect with some of them, not all but some.

[EasyEC]

When a woman nags, it's their way of telling you that you weren't man enough. There was some problem. You weren't able to solve it.

Maybe you're pretending to be a jerk. Not that it doesn't work, but eventually the jig will be up.

[tex151]

Ya I'm pretending when they call me an insensitive asshole, no I'm not pretending. Women nag because your not man enough are you kidding me? I guess every man in the world isn't man enough for a woman then huh? Have you ever met a woman they nag and bitch about everything from the way you dress to the way you eat, come on man I grew up around nagging and bitching from my mom and my sister. Women love to complain have met one that hasn't complained about something didn't think so.

[EasyEC]

A woman calling you an "insensitive asshole" is telling you you're too stupid to figure her out. If you really wanted to manipulate a woman and were smarter...you'd have figured her out.

Do you understand the difference between jerk and player? Education.

[tex151]

Well it was my ex who called me that then again she's a bitch. Ya I know what a player is I am one, I date multiple women, sleep with multiple women, and I tend to juggle about 4 at a time time it can get a little tricky with higher numbers but it can be done, I wasn't born yesterday I know this game and I know how to play it. So are you saying you manipulate women? Bc if you are then well your not much better than me now are you?

[EasyEC]

I'm saying manipulation doesn't satisfy the fundamental (philosophical) reasons why people engage in relationships (i.e. fear of dying alone).

Just because I choose not to manipulate women doesn't mean I have to be an idiot. It is simply less fulfilling to me than having a meaningful relationship.

[tex151]

So are you a player aka womanizer, ladies man, lady killer you get the drift? If so then how is that different from what I do?

[EasyEC]

Read my last reply (comment 6) as many times as you need to for you to understand.

I project the image of the roles I wish to fulfill within an interdependent relationship with my physical appearance and behavior. For you, being a jerk is about using it as a gimmick--a flashy set of clothes, like working out beach muscles, like girls and tight clothes--and you need the girls you get with to validate your sense of self worth. You need superbowl rings to tell you you have skill.

[tex151]

I don't need any gimmicks to get women, I just know how to get them simple as that it doesn't matter who she is there's nothing stopping me from talking to her. I think men should be dominant over women and that's what they want, a man not a pussy, and I can't stand it when I see girls p**** whip guys left and right asking having to ask permission to go out with your friends are you kidding me, hell no I'm not asking I am telling simple as that.

[Simple-Simonette]

Bravo.

[tex151]

Finally a woman who agrees with me, she knows what I am talking about.

[sweetaspie]

There is a difference between someone who is assertive and who is a asshole. Also, there is a difference between someone who is nice and who is a doormat. I personally am not attracted to anyone who is so "nice" that they let me walk all over them. This shows no self-confidence or respect for themselves. Then again, I don't want a asshole who thinks he is better than me and degrads me. It is called a good balance. It is kinda like why do bitches get all the men? It isn't about being a bitch or asshole it is about standing your ground, knowing what you want and getting it. There are good ways to be a bitch and asshole. As long as your aren't a liar, cheater or take adavantage of others there is nothing wrong with being a asshole.

See, I am a bitch in most ways. I don't let people walk all over me, I do and say what I want when I want, and I am honest to a fault, but I am a good person too. I would do anything for anyone put others before myself. I am thoughtful of others feelings and I am not catty with other women, but I am still a bitch. Do you get what I am saying? Girls like confident, assertive, outgoing men who know what they want. These men are sometimes called assholes, but are they really? I mean are you really a asshole because you say what you think and do what you want? I don't think so even though some may label you that way. I like assholes, I am a asshole too, lol. Again, as long as you aren't a liar, cheater and mapulator you willl be good in the long run. You can get girls while being these things but no decent one will stay in the long run. What every asshole needs is a bitch to put him to the test, knock him down a couple notches. Once you meet your match and someone who won't give you want you want, it will change your whole perspective on things. There is a gray area between nice guy and asshole, a fine line and to be successful that is where you want to be. Be nice to those who deserve it and be a asshole to everyone else. Keeps you from being taken advantage of and in control.

[Lost_in_Space]

Yeah... you sound just like my last asshole boyfriend... actually that is what I nicknamed him... The sad thing... he misses me and wishes thing could have been different between us. He is almost 30... has tried to kill himself with a handgun... has major issues mentally... has no friends... and has vowed to never grow up. Yeah... he can get a girlfriend, but he gets dropped every 2 years... The fact that he has opened up to me with all of this is odd... maybe after we slept together he just realized that he still had feelings for me... but I don't care because he was such an asshole to everyone including me at one period in time or another. Now he is engaged and trying to hit me up again... even though I am married to the same man that I was married to when we messed around after 10 years... but the fact that he knew where I lived... all of my phone numbers... and wanted us to be together after all that time... because I didn't care if I was married or not and wasn't going to push for marriage... I wasn't jealous... I was as bitchy as he was an asshole... and guess who got hurt? When you finally find the right girl and decide that you want her... do you want her to do to you what I did to him... actually because he was such a jerk... I decided to prove a point... I told everyone what he said about him... I kept every message he sent to me to give his fiance... I am still leading him on... and my husband gets a good laugh out of him almost daily. Yes, he did treat me better than anyone else... but he needs to learn a lesson... and the fact that he lets me right in... I am the perfect person to teach it to him! So the fact that all of my friends are laughing at him... sending me messages about a strap on and making him suck it... well that is just well deserved karma.

[symphonee]

Wow

[tex151]

Tisk tisk tisk, shame on that man, for actually revealing his true feelings to an EX. Exs for a reason right ,case and point right there, they are not your friend they are your enemy, so keep your friends close and your enemies closer. He messed up, he actually trusted you, come on now eveyrone knows you can't trust anything that can bleed for seven days and not die. Congrats you have turned yet another man into a ball less, spine less douchebag, that you can walk all over.

[Lost_in_Space]

His feelings should have been reserved for his fiance and not me... he keeps making fun of my husband... which is making me mad... I have told him many times that I am just not interested in him that way... I tried to just be nice to him... but he kept taking it to a sexual nature...

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is an asshole. He's egotistical as well. Nonetheless, for the past year and I half I have been catering to him. I am the sweet, loyal, perfect girlfriend that cooks, cleans, and never complains when he goes out with friends or has to cancel a date because he needs to study. Everyone has always told him "you need to appreciate her more, you'll never find anyone better" I am not ugly, I don't have low self esteem. I've stayed with him because I like men who are slightly dominant. Men who can call the shots.

However...

I'm going to leave him because the one thing I want from him, emotional security, he is too immature to give. He's afraid of engagement, of settling down, and I'm tired of waiting for my boy to drop his balls and become a real man. A man who remembers anniversaries, who holds the door open, who consoles me when I'm crying (instead of saying crying doesn't solve anything). A man who can be strong yet sensitive. A man who can own me, love me, and be willing to commit to me...a "good, nice guy".

In the end, I was attracted to my "bad boy" because I thought he would mature and grow up while dating me, and still retain some of that cocky attitude that I find so attractive. But, it's in his nature, and every other bad boys', to not change. To keep playing the same games. And yes, eventually the woman will get tired of it. I'm a "catch" :p cook, clean, don't party, drink, or smoke. The perfect trophy wife, so to speak. And I pride myself on having these attributes, I know my boyfriend loves to brag about me, and I love pleasing him. But at the same time, this needs to be reciprocated, and asshole bad boys don't care about anyone else but themeselves.

[tex151]

Emotional security are you kidding me? You cry because I don't know you broke your nail, did bad on a test or some other reason, and you want him to console you about that? I would say the same thing, here's a tissue get over it, life is a bitch learn to live with it. I'm playing the smallest violin for you. We are like that because that's how our dads were, men don't cry, men don't have emotions, life is a bitch get over it simple as that. Maybe he just doesn't want to get engaged to you.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't cry over things as trifle as a broken nail or a bad grade. My two cents: you're an asshole and I doubt the woman you truly want is going to settle for you.

[Jayne]

P.S. many men DO cry, most men have emotions. You are just in the pitiful, disgusting minority.

[ap1100]

You'll learn that you can't change any man. When you buy investment real estate, you have to make your profit when buying, not selling. When you find a guy to potentially marry, you have to get the emotional security and healthiness going in, not develop over time. It won;t/

[noricat]

I cry maybe once every year or two for something actually serious (f***ed up big time at work, massive betrayal by a friend/family member, so on). If a dude is crying in your presence girls don't assume he is a big wuss. Chances are you've caught him at that once in a year/two yearly phase. Also you should be glad. Dudes cry, we just make sure we hold it in until we can get somewhere private and preferably with something to throw/break. If we are blubbering around you...your in.

[the-love-guru]

You're getting the girls... short term. How many assholes have fulfilling, healthy, and long-term relationships or marriages? But then again, those relationships take time and effort- something you're not willing to put forth. So you're happy with this situation. Hey, if it's your prerogative...

These women have incredibly low standards (believing that they "just want to have fun", as if that validates their conquests), desperately seeking approval ("daddy issues"), and a skewed sense of self-actualization. And just because you have a college degree does not mean that you're a cultured or worldly man. But you're right, you do get the girls, but you get ones that have been caught and released at least a dozen times. How does sloppy seconds feel?

Just saying...

[tex151]

Well if you wanna pull the old sloppy seconds rule, well guess what I'm better you were a sloppy second, I'm sure you've dated more than one guy before. Guess that means all women are sloppy second women. Second these women don't have low standards, they're not bimbos, they're studying to be doctors, lawyers, vets, ya some dumb bimbos right there. I have yet to find one with daddy issues.

[the-love-guru]

I've had 3 long term relationships. And when I say "sloppy seconds", I don't mean it in the literal sense. Just because these women are studying to be highly educated and competitive doesn't mean they're above sleeping around. And for the record I *never* said dumb. Also, I highly doubt you'd be one to recognize daddy issues when you see them. Then again, you're not likely looking for them.

Stick to your fun and games, and I'll worry about the psychology aspect. Deal?

[datgully]

An educated girl with some confidence,nice! Sounds like your one of the rare girls that likes a guy cause he makes them feel good and he's nice to them. Girls like that are very rare. For girls reading,you want to be liked by a guy,dont be like the majority of the rest of girls or the average girl that likes assholes. If you want to be different than the other girls this is one major way you can be. Long term happiness

[Newport100]

I hate to admit it, the girls may not like it but..what he says rings of truth (his delivery may be to strong, but alas its true).

I have been with friends who are cool decent human beings, but treat beautiful women like sh*t and yet, the beautiful girls fawn all over them. These freinds I have/had could get a beautiful/drop dead sexy girl with minimal effort, score and dump the girl right after sex and they still chase after them. Exactly what women say they don't want. I get the impression from their recounts of the relationship (short as it may be) that the woman always feels the could tame the wild beast and never can. I guess this is the allure? Some woman catch on quick and dump thier asses real quick, some become stalkers and some make sure the are the worst enemy you could ever have and become extremly mean. In the end, the asshole loses but hey, he retains bragging rights for the fella's and thas about it until he finds his next victim.

The trick is being nice to woman and giving respect(as you would want it in return). Woman do like strong, confident men...but with a gentle touch and secure enough in his masculinity to let the guard down without feeling vulnerable, that is true strength. There is no need to become an asshole, the asshoes I have known where a bit self-centered, childish and lazy in different degrees and combinations

. Yea they get all the girls but they also lose them all very quickly also(by thier own desicion or by the womans decision)

[tex151]

It's funny you say that about being nice, you see I tried that once, and it back fired. I did an experiment I found a drop dead gorgeous girl and started talking to her and played the nice card because she was nice, and she said how nice an sweet I was, and then a little while later she pulled the let's just be friends card. So explain how being nice gets the girls?

[sweetaspie]

This is a true theory MOSTLY. If a attractive girl doesn't have men fawning all over her it makes her insecure and thus she chases the guy down USUALLY. Every asshole man will one day meet his match though and have a girl break his heart the way he has broke others before him. It is all about karma, that crazy twist of fate. Me, personally I wouldn't chase any man...don't chase em' replace em' is my theory. But yes....this is true. I like a nice guy as long as he isn't a complete doormat.

[authentic]

"...come on man I grew up around nagging and bitching from my mom and my sister. Women love to complain have met one that hasn't complained about something didn't think so. - 2 months ago "

"...I am extremely confident, assertive and bold, I will never let a girl walk all over me or take advantage of me,... "

You behavior is a form of protection as a result of constantly being nagged and criticized by your nagging and bitching mom and sister.

You have grown older, but unfortunately, you haven't grown up.

You keep saying you don't hit women because it is against the law, as if that as long as you don't do that, everything else is allowable. You ignore their feelings, trash them ...etc. Meaning, you still habor extreme hatred, anger, and resentment against women who unfortunately fall into your game of "abused", "self-protect", "abuse them back" game. Your keep repeating "it is against the law" is in effect, if it is allow by law, you would have hit them without hesitation.

If you don't heal yourself, you will take your family trauma everywhere you go. And use women around you to work out that drama.

"...Women love to complain have met one that hasn't complained about something didn't think " Your mother and sister do. No wonder your dad says life is tough, given the kind of woman he choose to marry. Guess why you never met females who don't complain, with a good temper, who are brought up in better families than yours ? Because "birds of the same feather flock together". You won't get anywhere near these girls, because you are nowhere near them. If you get healed one day, you may find that there are many, many female personalities other than those you only manage to find.

[tex151]

First off I am kidding when I say it's agaisnt the law, second some women are bitches some aren't simple as that, so I guess you assume that I grew up in a broken home where mommy didn't love me and daddy always beat me, wrong, you have no way of knowing how my up bringing was so your judgement is way off, if you must know my family is loving and cyaring, not abusive. Strikes down your theory. Once again it's not the crazies I date, I date smart normal women. Shot down all ur theories, next.

[authentic]

Re=read what you wrote about women, what I quoted. You have repeated said it was against the law .... Loving families don't have "nagging and bitching mothers" nor fathers who struggle with "life is tough". Your are in denail, and lying don't help at all. Your saying you have dated "smart normal women" is your own perception. You are not even in their league. Oil and water don't mix. That's why I said you haven't even come close to one. Denial and lyies won't heal you. Get some self-healing.

[tex151]

Dude have you ever been around a woman they nag and bitch men deal with it. Would you rather have a family that thinks life is full of sunshine and rainbows? There's denial for ya. Life is tuff pal deal with it, life won't always go your way, so instead of crying about it deal with it. what, chicks outta my league? Ok I will define this further, intellectual, college educated, have their own place, job, close ties to family, not a psycho, beautiful, sweet, kind, caring. you know normal.

[authentic]

"..Dude have you ever been around a woman they nag and bitch men deal with it...?"

Further proof that you are nowhere near intelligent, smart women who were brought up in loving families. You haven't even met one in your life. And if you don't heal yourself, you will never meet even one

"... Life is tuff pal deal with it, life won't always go your way, so instead of crying about it deal with it."

Not surprising when it comes from some one who has a father who teaches him "life is tough

[tex151]

You live in a make believe world man, not every one is nice including women, don't worry you soon realize life is tough, ressession ring a bell? 96% of the women I have met or dated have very strong family ties, and none of them were sexually abused or beaten as a child. My dad taught me not everything is handed to you on a silver platter you gotta work for it and I did. And I not talking taking out the trash, I am talking about physical labor, you know actually breaking a sweat.

[authentic]

"And what exactly is self healing? Do I need to become one with myself though zen or some crap, sorry I am not a hippie"

Self-healing is for those who have abused by "nagging and bitching mothers", and fathers lamenting "life is tough", for those who justifiy their abusing women with "how many man beating women do you know?"... In short, wounded animals which attack others because that they know no better. Obviously we don't share similar background. Very lucky for me, I have to say.

[tex151]

Ok Dr. Phil, I am going to burst your bubble, a wonded animal atttacks because it is trying to survive not because it doesn't know better, if you wound an animal no matter what species it is, it will retalliate to surivive. I am not a wounded animal if you want to compare me to an animal I would be an alpha, I know for a fact only a strong survive, it is a dog eat dog world out there. If you don't belivie that you are in denial.

[authentic]

For someone like you, just like to the starving African children, everyone in the world is starving. Talking to African children, they will agree with you if you want companie. Talk to me, I will laugh, because I have never been in a "dog eat dog situation". Believe it or not, it has a lot to do with your abilities, upbringing, education level, beliefs system, attitudes .....etc. A wonded animal like you needs to be healed to find the world isn't what you perceive to be.

[tex151]

Everywhere you go, and everything you do is dog eat dog. It simply means if you can't be the best then strive to be the best, but just keep in mind someone is always better than you. Example the playoffs only one team will win the championship, simple as that. You must live in a bubble and be completly oblivious to the world around you, how many job losses because of the recession what 6 million and counting, yup the world if all sunshine and rainbows.

[authentic]

Of course if you don't have a good education background, lacks calibre, have plenty of wrong attitudes (such as being late for work is "normal from where you come from")....etc. you will find yourself, "being eaten alive by other dogs". That's why I said in my previous repsonse to you, whether you live in a harsh world depends on many factors, your upbringing, education level, family background ....etc. Guess why people go for higher education, some even all the way to post-grad. ?

[tex151]

Sorry bud but to further burst your bubble I do have a higher education, I have a college degree, and ya show up to work late everyday chances are your ass is going to get fired. But then again since your like me and are higher educated you would have known that. You see I think your full of sh*t and have no expericne with women what so ever, but me on the other hand I know what I am talking about and have been very sucessful with women. So don't get mad at me cauuse you can't get laid.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about what your job and your social life is like, but I think acting like a jerk for too long is a bad thing.

I don't exactly know what you mean by acting like a jerk but I've spent two years at uni and being a complete dick (i.e. going for girls even though I know my friends are interested and f***ing them because I can, dropping plain looking girls because a better looking girl has shown interest and f***ing a girl with a boyfriend who I know)

Does that make me feel macho and boost my self-esteem? Yeah it does for a little bit, but then I feel like a complete sh*t and really low. I'm racked by guilt about hurting girls' feelings and usually I don't even realise I'm hurting them at the time.

Not only will you become racked with guilt as you mature but the reputation can stick. Girls will see you as only after one thing and not for meaningful relationships and other guys (unless they're also jerks) will see you as being untrustworthy and won't even introduce their girlfriends to you.

I feel hollow inside. That's why being an asshole is a bad idea.

[tex151]

Well there's your problem you felt macho I never feel macho or feel guilt, simple fact is never let a girl try and walk all over you, never put yourself in that position, because if you give them the upper hand, you have already lost. But if they know that they can't make you their lap dog, then guess what you won, and that's what they want, they want a man not a puss boy, simple as that. Ya I do want sex and they know it, its called being a guy, why do you think we get a girlfriend in the first place.

[noricat]

Hmmm.....f*** lots of girls now....die lonely and isolated, women wanting nothing to do with me and dudes regarding me as an immature untrustworthy twat....orrrr...just be cool, get what I can get, eventually settle down and enjoy the last half of my life with friends and family who have my back and a wife who doesn't open her legs for the first manchild to come along?

Tough call!

I think Anon's admission proves he's going to have a happy ending...not so much for you OP.

[tex151]

Lol some of these responses amuse me, and I'm pretty sure that some of these people who think I am wrong are single,maybe have had a girlfriend in the past, and are nice guys who just don't get it. You can play the nice guy card all you want, tell women you will treat them like a queen, and be their shoulder to cry on. But when they say I just want to be friends, or treat you like a doormat, more than likely you'll reconsider the nice guy approach, and yes you can thank me later.

[Wassup]

I agree that girls don't like "nice guys" cause most are too sensitive and kind and a big reason why girls lose interest in these types of guys is because a lot of them come on too strong and it gets boring after awhile for the girl. These guys also tend to ask the girl if he can do something instead of being the one with the balls and taking control. And unfortunately these guys tend to be sucked down in to the friends zone. Although when a girl is in a relationship with an "asshole" they aren't completely happy cause they don't treat the girl right and they are disrespectful and most of the time have no class. A lot of them also walk around like they're sh*t doesn't stink and they think they're better than everyone else. But assholes show a lot of confidence which is a very good thing. I think the what girls really want is an independent, strong, respectful, and confident guy. A guy who doesn't come on too strong, but shows her how much he cares for her in way that don't over do it. Girls also wants a guy that can stick up for himself and not get pushed around by other assholes because if he can't do that then how is he gonna stick up for the girl? Girls want a guy that is a gentleman towards her and shows class and character. Also the guy has to be the dominant one and take control of the situation, although if the girl doesn't agree with it he's respectful to work something out so they're both happy. And if you're this kind of guy I guarantee most girls will be 100% satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Assholes are the guys girls pick when they want sex, parties, and a fun time. The good guys, is what the girls pick when they want a serious relationship, love, happiness and comfort. Truth is, you don't get life too well, or you would stop being an asshole because that's all you're ever gonna be. Yes, maybe girls are coming back to you, but they're no more assholes than you are! They're dumb, stupid, and shallow for not trying to say no and respecting themselves. One day, you'll realize how big of a mistake you're making, and try to put your life in reverse to be that good guy. Yes, maybe the nice men don't get girls in their younger years, but that's because the right girl is on his way.. And it's dumb to waste it on jerks and assholes. You're a no good who won't ever get a long-lasting serious relationship just because of the way you think! "Why don't you try to be a jerk it's obvious women want that".. I mean seriously? What great advice! I would bow to you.. If it WAS advice. That's just smartass talk.. You have nothing awaiting you in you're life. The only girls you're ever gonna get are the ones that just want your dick and nothing more.. So much for a serious relationship (:

[tex151]

I think its funny how all you women say the same thing, girls want a nice guy, that is bullsh*t and you know it, they may say that but just wait till you fall for a good looking guy whose a jerk, happens all the time. I gurantee you that once an attractive jerk comes along you will fall for him, if I am wrong which I am not, then every single girl would be with a "nice guy", simple fact is they aren't.

[Opinion Owner]

You don't get what I'm trying to say. I said girls these days get with jerks and assholes and not the 'good guys' exactly because they fall for them. But after a few months maybe even weeks they break up - And that routine starts all over again. I'm saying right NOW, you might be the lucky asshole who gets all the girls to fall for them - Yes, that can be really highly believable because most girls like a challenge and 'bad boys'. But when we want to get serious, and date guys for someone we

[Opinion Owner]

Might actually marry or simply spend the rest of our lives with - We forget about the assholes and look for someone nicer and more caring that we know will last longer. Exactly why I'm saying you're just a phase if you're an asshole - And that's all you'll ever be.. A phase.

[tex151]

With me women know I am a jerk right from the start, and they know that if they mess with me as in mind games and such, I will make them cry, and yes I have made them cry. Most guys can't keep their woman in check and if you don't she runs all over you. I keep them in line and they don't even think about trying to treat me like a doormat.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you don't get treated like a dormat, but if you haven't found a serious relationship then I doubt you ever will - Considering you think all girls treat guys like dormats.. We don't. Yes, some do and I'm not gonna lie it's pretty sh*tty because they tease them and lead them on - But not all of them are like that.. You need variety. Stop looking in the same closet

[tex151]

I've been in a serious relationship, a six year relationship, yeah I learned a lot about women. I am a jerk naturally but I guarantee that if any guy acted like a jerk to a chick, panties would drop and they will no longer hear lets just be friends. Simple fact is women want a man not a puss boy

[Opinion Owner]

Well of course they want a man! But not an asshole. An asshole is not a man - They're two completely different things

[ap1100]

I think it's unfortunate that the nice guy has to wait to get a girl who's been screwed over by so many jerks. I've dated girls like this and even on the first date some of them are wrongfully suspicious.

[DrJones]

This again? Let me explain how this game ends:

Nice Guy: Want to date?

You: No, I'm going to date some jerk instead. You're too nice, so I'll put you on hold.

[Nice Guy has left the chat.]

You: Hey, come back here and pine over me. You're not being very nice.

[Nice Guy has found another girl. They are having amazing sex.]

[Nice Guy has deleted your phone number.]

[Jerk is cheating on you with your sister right now.]

You: Why are all guys such jerks? Whine, bitch, etc.

[socalgamehater2006]

Women need a reality check

[SketchForger]

Depends on your definition of asshole is. If you disregard other people and think mainly about yourself, you're selfish and Narcissistic. Those qualities are usually associated with being an asshole, and you don't seem to break that stereotype based on the way you talk about yourself.

Being dominant doesn't really make you an asshole unless it's unlikable to an ironic degree of people liking you.

Your goals are ultimately shallow and meaningless. Your outlook on how to live your life is surprising considering your age, and your attitude is pretty indicative that you are INDEED the asshole definition I'm familiar with.

But have some fun facts, you're not special, nobody actually likes you because you're a dick, they like you because they think they can change you, and or they are assholes themselves. Unhealthy and aggressive behavior never truly earns you respect in modern culture, and unless you change your attitude, no matter how hot you are, you'll eventually gets what's coming to you.

[Origami_2865]

First and foremost you’re f 38 years old. For your own sake I’d hope you’re going to finally grow up any second now because this is unbelievable at your ice age.

Secondly, it sounds to me like you’ve got a TON of internalized (and externalized) misogyny with the way you talk about women. It’s absolutely disgusting! In a perfect world where anyone can sleep and love whoever tf they want, boys like you would be sleeping with other boys simply because you wanted to and not because society is expecting you to. There is NO WAY a man at your Jurassic age that is actually attracted to women going to be so clueless about them like you are. Most of those women you’re bragging about disrespecting on the internet behind a screen like this wouldn’t look at you the same after reading this shit. Believe me.

So I say you download grinder, begin romantically taking interest in the male species and you’ll hopefully later learn that women don’t want assholes like yourself, just as much you don’t want them seeing as you won’t even treat them with basic human respect. Life is too short babe and there’s so much for you learn, like whether you’re a bottom or a top. Good luck ❤️

[Coxxy]

The reason why nice guys usually don't get girls is because many of them appear to be needy and wimpy. That sort of attitude is not attractive to a female at all. I remember listening to this song a few years back which had the line "I already have a pussy, I don't need another one." and I believe it pretty much sums up what it's like for a women to be "chased" by a needy male.

The reason why the macho jerk usually gets the female is because he doesn't fall under that needy category. He tells it how it is and is usually in this position of power within his social circle. A lot of the macho jerks I know are risk takers and usually believe they can get any girl they want so when someone rejects them, they don't care because they know they can get another girl in the next 5 minutes. In other words, they're pretty confident in themselves. Something which the "nice guy" lacks.

It's the power that females are attracted to. If you want to get primal about it. When a female notices this power, this drive that a man has in life, their subconscious mind goes "Damn, this guy has balls and has such a powerful aura to him. I think I'll get with him since I know that he can provide for my security for my baby and other resources necessary for my our survival."

It's not that being nice doesn't work. It DOES work. It's just that many of these so called "nice guys" are wussies and are looking to make a female their whole life instead of just part of it, you followin' me? If you want success in the realm of dating, you need a balance between being nice and being the captain of your own ship.

[Chloecat45]

i'm not going to speak for the majority of girls out there- but I know that we generally love the asshole. He's ususally terribly good-looking, probably doesn't really have a steady good job- a lot of money or a nice place... but he's got personality he knows how to talk and he knows what girls want. He ususally knowss how to party pretty well. He's just fun . And he treats you like sh*t and that game right there drives girls ccrazy. Its hot. He's saying you want me? I know you want me. but you can't REALLY have me. The assholes play the game harddd. Some girls can keep up with him - most can't . But you only play the game so long with the asshole before it generally will go in circles- otherwise- no where. Whatever you do you can't let the asshole no that he has made an impact on you in any way- this will only feed his already exaggerated ego too an unhealthy and dangerous level.

I can say I will probably always be attracted to that guy. But dateing the asshole-that generally dose not work out.

[Plug-in-Baby]

Yea I pretty much agree as bad as that sounds. Assholes are attractive because you want a dominant man. But most women eventually get sick of being messed about. Girls like the bad guys because they like the idea of changing them, it's a bit of a challange really. Which in ways is just as bad as the asshole guys. But when the girl realises the guy can't be changed she

effectively gives up and will go on and try to change the next "bad boy" she meets. And EVENTUALLY after many years of trying with no success she'll go and find a "nice guy".

And slightly unrelated but the guys who claim to be "one of the nice guys" rarely are as nice as they'd like to think.

[EasyEC]

Haha... agreed about the "nice guys." Many "nice guys" are stealth bombers.

[Warren]

"Many years of trying with no success" = Nice guy has been nice for years with no success, 'cause so many gals are out looking for bad boys. He's now really pissed off. He's now an asshole. A bad boy. The smart ones end their 'nice guy' phase in or after high school, and join the self-serving masses before people stop looking for sex and start looking for a retirement plan.

[tex151]

Not necessarily true of many years with no success. I have had many years with success, I am just not the guy who is going to walk on eggshells around women, and let them play games, they can try but while they think they're messing with me, I have already got another girl. They can call me an asshole, I don't care I will call them bitch, and unlike most men, I actually stand up and say woman the foot is down, this is how its going to be, if you don't like it there's the door.

[Dillion]

Ok

[AlexandraGothGirl]

Um, not all women go for the assholes and jerks, in fact it's usually only the girls who also stopped trying to learn around fourth grade. You can bully around and abuse airheads because they are fairly easy to outsmart but you'll never have much more than a sexual companion in life.

As years roll by and time fades into time you'll find yourself alone, you might be married and even have children but nights will haunt you because you spent your life hurting other people instead of bringing love into the world.

There are a bunch of people like you out there, and there are a bunch of women who will let themselves be pushed around because they have no self-esteem. But if you do that to someone then you very clearly do not love them, and is it really worth going through life without ever finding love just so that you can have consistent sex?

[DrJones]

>Um, not all women go for the assholes and jerks, in fact it's usually only the girls who also stopped trying to learn around fourth grade.

Lol. I like this answer!

[ap1100]

You are generally correct, but I don't think conscious-less guys sit around thinking at night about how they've harmed people. Our society tell us "what's in the past should stay there" and that there are no consequences for our actions. How many "nice guys" that we're talking about here eventually marry a girl when they're both 30; he's been with 1 girl, she's been with 15 guys? Does she sit up nights upset that he lost out on something by her immaturity earlier in life?

[symphonee]

Most guys who are assholes in public, aren't at home. Those who, like you, are don't keep women for to long and become bitter at an early age. Assholes get and keep emotionally stunted women for longer than 6 months because they believe that abuse is ok and they are not worthy of something better. You will always have emotionally stunted people, like you, hooking up with other emotionally stunted people. Nice guys who are push overs and extremely passive are emotionally stunted as well. Assholes just get the girl more often because they still want the perception of masculinity and strength. Pushovers don't show that.

[tex151]

I don't hit women, there are laws against that. As far as me being emotionally stunted well yea I am a guy sorry but my day doesn't consist of talking about my feelings, I have other things to worry about. And when you say I only have been with women who are emotionally stunted , wrong sorry. I have been with the crazies and pretty much every personality out there, from submissive to the ones who try to be dominant over me, hints the word try. They can try but they will fail.

[symphonee]

Abuse isn't just physical and you are so right by agreeing that you are emotinally stunted. IF you weren't you know that talikng about your feelings doesn't mean you are emotionally mature. Women who put up with your crap for more than six months don't know it either and are as stunted as you are. I would say that I pity you and the girl who gets you but I don't. I'm just glad I will probably never met you in person.

[tex151]

Sorry but I don't know any guys who talk about thier feelings, it doesn't matter if they are or if they aren't in a relationship, simple fact of the matter is that the only guys who are open abotu their feelings are gay, if they aren't gay and talk about thier feelings, they are only trying to sleep with you.

[socalgamehater2006]

Women are instinctively programmed to be submissive to men, it is a man's world, women just live in it, woman want a dominant man like Ralph Kramden from the Honeymooners

[Queryone]

Girls are not attracted to the "asshole" personality, they are attracted to the attractive exterior that houses that horrid character. Woman dispise the "asshole" type, but it is the whole "moth to a flame" scenario... Woman soon realize that the jerks personality is awful, but cannot tear themselves away because their rationality has given way to the aesthetic appeal/lust. The so called "nice guys" have cultivated a better personality because (usually) they are not blessed with the woman-flocking, good looks. So really it's not a matter that being a nice guy doesn't work, it just comes down to who's more attractive or not. The nice guys can't help that the majority of woman are superficial and fall victim to the allure of a hot guy.

[petru]

I agree with this! Many people look at this issue in a backward way. Attractive people never have to learn to be good. The ugly ones have to. It's a survival thing. Have you ever wonder why little puppies and babies are cute? Survival!

So, it is not about girls are attracted to jerks. It's about girls are attracted to good looking guys. The same goes the other way around.

[ap1100]

I don't entirely agree. I know plenty of very good looking guys who are very nice. Again, they're not completely weak pushovers, but they are sociable and nice. They spend their time doing things interesting, not seeking girls 24/7, and since most girls who meet jerks do so at bars, clubs, etc., these guys get left out. I also know the girls these guys are with value them for being "cute"/handsome even though they're not muscular.

[noricat]

Speak for yourself, I am a "nice guy" and I think I'm bloody gorgeous. :P

Girls just want a good looking guy with confidence, but as you said, they don't realize there are plenty of blokes who are good looking and/or confident and cool with themselves without being jerkwads.

I could easily become an ass, and no doubt get more "sumsum" but that's just not me. I prefer to be cool, if a girl digs that, cool, if not, whatever.

[gotc147]

25 to 19 years old? Well, just wait until you hit your mid 30's, the girls will stop coming.

But anyway, jackasses such as yourself give off a "safe haven" vibe to women, which makes the younger and less mature girls flock to you and others like you.

Funny thing is, like I said, once you're older it'll stop, and if it doesn't you'll end up dying a loney, miserable death like guys like you who don't change do.

Meanwhile, nice guys who don't get the girl at the younger ages, get them when they're older and smarter and better in pretty much every way.

So lay on your ego trip all you want, it'll come back to bite you in the ass at some point.

[Big_D]

No offence, but the reason I don't act like an asshole to women (or in general) is because I simply can't. I'm simply not a nasty person. And I wouldn't be interested in any girls that think that they must stick to a guy that treats them badly. I have enormous respect for women, and I would never hurt a woman.

I also know that being a jerk might get you the girls because of the 'cool factor', but I highly doubt that you will ever find the right woman that you can settle down with.

I suppose the opposite applies to the nice guys, I have been in 2 relationships in my life, the last of which lasted for 2 years. I still love her now, but I was her first great love and she is moving on, sadly.

Nice guys might come last, but when our turn comes, we shine bright!

[tex151]

What do you think I do spend the weekends beating women, come on lets get reaslistic, it's against the law. It's very simple, if a girl becomes demanding and high maintence, you simply put her in her place by telling her NO, not going to happen, sure they can threaten you with using sex as a weapon but if that is the only way she can get what she wants, then your dating the wrong woman and she's playing you. Happens all the time especially with nice guys they fall hook line and sinker for that.

[BOXCAR1988]

There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy just like there's nothing wrong with being an asshole. Karma is a bitch and you will receive what you give one day, just remember that. There are no white or black, good or bad, clear cut situations.

I am overly nice and I do care about a girl's feelings if I like them and I don't care if I'm only there for one to cry to, everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes, guys or girls, and it doesn't mean you think you're going to wind up in bed with them for being nice to them.

I don't go out of my way, but I'll even hang out with a friendgirl (yes, I just made up that term) knowing very well she doesn't like me if only to make her feel better because I know she's worth it and is always nice to me.

[tex151]

So this being nice, a shoulder to cry on, and being their best buddy, how many dates does that get you? In the past lets say 3 months how many actual dates have you been on by being a nice guy to women, how many second dates, and how many of those women have you kissed?

[BOXCAR1988]

You don't be a best buddy to a girl you're trying to date, that's not even the point I was trying to make. If you really like someone, you let them know up front, if it doesn't work out you can still be friends, afterward. I don't know about you, but I don't tend to kiss friends.

[tex151]

Well you didn't answer the question, you avoided it. And to your answer your question on kissing friends yup female friends only, and yes some of them I have even slept with, what's wrong with that?

[Gorce]

We just have to break it down, what are the positiveand negative traits of the "asshole" and "nice guy".

The asshole has positive traits in the begining, they attract women to no end, women are putty in the presence of an "Asshole". but the asshole can never keep a girl, they either get dumped by a very angry female that woould love to chop his penis off( Elena Bobbit style) OR the asshole will just huirt the sh*t out of a girl then toss her to the curb.

The nice guy may have tons of female freinds because he is a good talker and emotionaly there for them but on the negative side...even when having 300 great female friends, he'll never get laid by any of them BUT they love the sh*t out of him.

We need some balance and we can learn from the asshole and the nice guy.

[tex151]

See that's what I don't get why would a man want so many female friends, the ones he will never date or sleep with, what's the point, do you really like hearing oh your such a great friend all the time? Wouldn't you rather hear your an asshole, but there's just something about you, that makes you either want to kiss you or punch you in the face. And guess what she can attempt you grab her arm, pull her close to you and make out with her, she then hits you and says be nice your mean. Yet she kisses u.

[Anonymous]

Hahahahaha...I have never heard so much bull in my life. You're just like one big pile of bullsh*t! Excuse me while I spin a few times in my chair so I can think as straight as you! You make me laugh... "I'm not afraid to say...woman make me a sandwich" hahahaha..oooooo, you daredevil you! You must really be reeling in those college graduate girls who are smart and confident... afterall they know how to make a sandwich which is good because you're not afraid to ask!

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the beginnings of a sad lonely human being who strives for attention and a good old fashioned pat on the back from his male friends!

I guess your rant's only success was putting hundreds of girls minds at ease by proving to them that they don't chose the assholes, the assholes choose them! Hahahahaha!

Thank you for the entertainment...now go grow a pair, oh and be a doll and make me a sandwich while you're there...tah very much.

[Virtuales]

Hhaha I got entertained here thank you

:P

[tex151]

I must say I do enjoy your sense of humor, I knew I could get some of you fiesty women to react, be a doll now how sweet is that, oh as far as the make me sandwich part, would you rather me have said, now suck my dick bitch and get the f*** out, I mean you are a woman, and they do serve best on their back or their knees. But we won't go far will we? Na lets just stick to making a sandwich, thanks for playing along babe.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha. You are trying. I wouldn't rather you said anything, nice of you to ask what I would like though, thought you didn't do that. Oops. But, I don't mind what you do because I'm pretty sure I would have seen you coming a mile off and happily stepped aside to reveal the poor vulnerable bimbo behind me...Now the back or knees comment I can't dignify with an answer as obviously said because you can't think of anything better or perhaps your vocabulary begins and ends with sandwich fillings??

[pielcanela21]

Dis jack ass that post this up deserves all dat

[tex151]

Oh man I like this chick, hmm maybe we should date, I especially like the part about the bimbo behind you, oh that cracks me up, yet its so true they maybe be hot but they have what 2 brain cells lol, wow your a smart one and for that I must say is very sexy.

[JustDance]

LOL. Question asker is one hell of a sexist gahahaa!! And btw. I love the spin around ur chair bit. I loled and span my chair when you said thta lolol

[freezey]

You are so right - it makes you take a big slap in the face. I found that by being confident, not giving into their whims, ignoring them, going out and doing things on my terms, they seem to keep coming back for more, sleeping with them gets easier. But being nice, they walk all over you and stick you in the friend zone...It's funny how al the girls on here say your a jerk and they want the nice guy - but have you noticed - 90% of them have said they have been out with a jerk, so it goes to show it works..

Nice one bro - you really have showed us all how it should work!

[ap1100]

First of all, the nice guy will eventually get a girl. You may or may not continue to get girls; I know guys who end up both ways. Those who end up still getting girls eventually get stuck with really sad sacks.

The girls you're getting are super-insecure. Yes, if all you want is sex, I guess that doesn't matter. These girls talk to the nice guys about what a jerk you are because they want to get attention from as many guys as possible, yet feel superior knowing that the guys want to sleep with them but not give them sex.

[kairon156]

The thing is moast nice guys eather "don't know how" to be a jerk or like me feel it's wrong. even if they know the jerk/asshole get's all the girls.

I've been the nice guy for as long as I rember and I have a lot of friends who are girls but I haven't dated that much and I've noticed the same thing you have.

girls tend to go for the guy that treat's them kinda harsh, rash, rudely. and than complain about it. what is that called a dubble standerd or something.

I can't explain why but my theory is that nice guys generaly can't become an asshole that easly and assholes usually can't become the nice guy, altho they can sometimes pretend they are for a short while... witch might be the reasion girls don't date nice guys because the "nice guy" might be the jerk they'll end up with any way so they go for the asshole guy from the start.

[Poseidon17]

I think most girls go for the jerk type because the reality is there are as just as many "nice" girls as guys. When I say "nice" I mean insecure. Insecure guys are too nice, and can't get women because they're not assertive or confident enough. "Nice" women are too insecure to reject a guy (like you said, most girls always come back even if you treat them badly), because then they wouldn't have a guy in their life. That is the other thing, I think: Women usually assume that because guys approach THEM, they have more power in relationships, so when it seems like a guy doesn't like them or treats them bad, they panic and get even more clingy for fear of losing him.

TRULY confident women (and there are just as few of them as there are TRULY confident guys) usually won't put up with true jerks. A truly confident woman will know exactly what she wants and dump any guy that doesn't measure up or treat them well enough.

[metaldave20]

i don't think you necessarily have to be an asshole, but I don't think you necessarily have to be a nice guy, I think when it comes to something like this, you should just be who you really truly are; be yourself. throw a few jokes in from time to time, be insightful be willing to help (I mean come on our world is literally being burned by the sun right now, cause of the ozone layer) just be an overall good citizen, and I think people will like you for that, otherwise you come off as some pyscho killer, or some sensitive know it all

am I right, or am I right, haha

[peace-love-couture]

True.I agree.I'm a girl,I completely agree.Although I might add,nice guys finish last.

It all has to do with comfort zone.I don't think every guy wants to be a "jerk" or treat their girlfriends like sh*t,some guys just aren't like that.Some people are naturally kind,sweet,loving and boyfriend/husband material,while other guys are "just for fun material"

I think this is common with teenagers & 20 year olds,becomes less common as you get older because most women have other goals set in mind(keep in mind there are always the vulnerable 30 year olds)

But I don't think treating your partner like crap is something to brag about.It isn't an accomplishment nor is it an achievement,it just means you have bad character.

Alot of girls do this,they are generally insecure.They don't realize they deserve better;they deserve more than an abusive boyfriend or boyfriend who cheats and lies(which are all insecurities).But yea

[bnwsmile]

It's not that you're an asshole it's that women want a guy that's not completely predictable and boring. Asshattery falls along with that. There is a fine line however, of being a normal everyday smart ass and then being an asshole. No one wants an asshole but a smart ass can be a spicy thing for a relationship in a sense of minimal boredom. I'm sure looks have something to do with this too as most "nice guys" seem to be the ones that are, shall I say, physically different from other more attractive guys and because of this have low self esteem which in turn makes them want to be the nice guy because they crave a relationship and value it more than a "normal" smartass.

[twinklebee]

haha its kinda true that girls always fall for the asshole, just because it is more aventurous and unknown, even if they have been with a million asses, they are all different, and they make you feel excited. I guess assholes are what we fall for, and we can't get enough.

it's odd that even I would say that and agre with you, but the ost fun I had was with the guys that ended up being complete assholes, the ones that are nice and all and would be faithful always seem to fall between the cracks and its hard to notice what excitement they have to offer.

so I'm not saying being an asshole attracts us, okaymaybe a little, because of the lack of an adventure, and spontaneousness. the nice guys never say the things you want to hear and they don't go outta their way for you, unless they know for sure that you are theirs.

[ap1100]

It's an interesting point, and while I wouldn't be with a girl of your attitude, it goes to show the nice guys out there to quit worrying about what every girls thinks of them. Get out, travel, go places by yourself and with friends. Develop a life. I was a nice guy growing up but did these things in my 20s and became an outgoing guy with an adventurous side, always going interesting places, but I maintained the desire for a relationship. Insecure girls still won't like me, but good ones will.

[DrJones]

There you have it, boys - if you want to stand out and seem "aventurous and unknown" in Canada, all you have to do is act like an asshole. People there are so polite, it'll make you a rare exception.

[twinklebee]

But being an asshole can only get you so far... and maybe that's just my opinion because I have been played so many times I don't even know if a nice guy really does exist.

[higurb]

I'm an asshole to everyone, I make it a hobby of mine to make strangers cry. I've made grown men throw punches at me and women break down emotionally in public.

I believe people should be treated how they act. If you are an idiot you should be treated as such. The problem is most people are idiots and I've spent a life time perfecting the ability to point out people's flaws. I'm not perfect nor are the smartest man in the world, but this isn't about me. This is about the person I'm being an asshole to.

I noticed that woman need validation. They need to please everyone else for some strange reason. I'll make fun of some girl and she'll try to get on my good side. I've even had girl have sex with me to try and get on my good side. I still think poorly of them and most everyone else.

I just laugh at how easy it is to manipulate women.

[Bubbacup]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Oh sorry....just realised your not funny. You dick. I'm going to go be all girly and emotional and cry now... boo-friggin-hoo!

[higurb]

You showed me...

[G-Stevens]

As much as I ADORE being treated like shit, I'd have to say that the caring man will win my heart. If you truly do attract women by being an ass hole, than I officially give up on my gender. It baffles me that women enjoy being treated like yesterday's dump that has already been flushed down the toilet.

Uh... ladies?

[yasmine]

well those girls deserved whatever they got if they kept coming back.. obviously you must be really hott or just reallin in all the ugly ones.. I think girls want to feel special around the popular jerk, as you get older it will change. . not in a good way .

[tex151]

I don't date ugly chicks.

[Jayne]

We want a balance. A guy who is masculine yet caring. We don't want a p*ssy who cries more than we do, and we don't want an asshole who will use us and abuse us (or who won't give a damn about our feelings.)

We want a nice guy...but not one without confidence and masculinity.

[tex151]

See funny thing is with your typical nice guy, confidence and masculinity are two traits that are pretty much non existent. And what is with the feeling talk, do you really think any man in their right mind wants to hear women rant, rave, and cry about their feelings? Nice guys get sucked into that and guys like me plain well just don't care, especially if we aren't dating you.

[Jayne]

There isn't JUST nice guys and assholes, there are guys who are inbetween. Just like girls aren't either virgins or whores.

I appreciate your honesty, and I feel horrible for any woman that gets tangled up with you. You know how to avoid all the emotional clingy shit? Tell her from the beginning exactly what you want. If you just want sex, tell her. Believe it or not, a lot of girls are just looking for a good time too. But don't give them BS that would make them believe you wanna date them

[tex151]

Ya emotional crap is easy to avoid, act like your listening, but really you have no idea nor really care what she is saying. I told a girl the other day to shut the hell up cause she was talking to much, she got mad cause I called her a trick. Then she tried to hit me, I then grabbed her pick up and put on my bed, she then called me an asshole, and yet when I kissed her she kissed me back, the more you piss them off the more they like it.

[Jayne]

Wow. You really are an asshole. And not the sexy kind either. Good luck with finding a good woman- you'll only have luck with airheaded bimbos (maybe that's a good thing?).

[skycat]

"with your typical nice guy, confidence and masculinity are two traits that are pretty much non existent."

I disagree, and I've got the man to prove it. Nice guy/asshole roles are just excuses to be lazy. lol.

[rocksongwriter]

"We want a balance." "We want a nice guy...but not one without confidence and masculinity."

Yeah, a couple of examples come to mind of guys who fit that description. Guys who weren't @$$holes however girls REALLY dug them...

-Cary Grant

-Sean Connery (from the Early 'Bond' movies) [which ironically is the question asker's profile pic]

-And maybe Rudolph Valentino (who was definitly dominant (as seen in "The Shiek" but didn't really come across as an a-hole (watch his film "The Eagle"

[noricat]

It would help if you girls learned how to cry proper tears then. One of my ex's cried only twice the entire time we were together, you know how hard that was for me to comply with? I WATCHED BAMBI FFS. I'm nice, I keep fit and you can carry your own god damn bag, do I pass the test? :D

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. But, I have to agree with this guy. I have a college degree, and I am going to graduate school. I am also an asshole. I EVEN TELL WOMEN THAT I AM AN ASSHOLE. When I go out with my friends (girls and guys) and we are at a group table or something, I tell people I am an asshole. I say it at social gatherings. And women still talk to me.

Now, they may think they can change me. Or to them, I may not be such an asshole. But I don't do a lot things and I get women. I don't like to go on dinner dates. I don't go on romantic walks. I don't even like to eat in public. If I go out with them, it is normally for a drink or something, This baffles me. And these women are uneducated women either. Some of these women even have grad degrees.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that A LOT not ALL but A LOT of women get what they deserve when they date most guys. They have to know that these guys are jerks before they date them, and they do it anyway.

[tex151]

Finally someone else who gets women thank you my friend. I tell women I am not nice, I am an asshole and they keep coming. Common sense would say don't touch a hot stove you will get burned, but 95% of women do.

[xxwhisperzxx]

Thats a funny quesion...ive never really thought about it but its true that all my boyfriends were jerks or assholes...

i guess you have to find a mixture...maybe try to be an asshole, but nice...

nah, that doesn't make any sense...

be like you always are but when it gets serious be the nice guy...

you are right, the nice guys don't often get too many girlfriends but the jerks always do.

i don't know rly, its the kind of question you can't really answer, I think...

i mean, there are nice guys who get all the girls and there are jerks who never get girls...

i guess some boys have this somehitng girl like...

i dunno...

...sorry...

i ryl dunno...

[Anonymous]

Right, instead of saying you get all the girls, next time you go out, anywhere, the next attractive smart women you see who you think will be hard for you to get in about, go up to her, make your moves. Watch as you crash and burn.

Like people have constantly told you, you are an asshole who knows where to find the emotionally damaged/poor self esteem types.

Good for you!

You say girls go for the ass holes, but you've utterly failed to share with us how awesome you are at getting girls yourself. Any twat can sit back and let the damaged emotional little girls come crawling to them, hell that's not being a player that's just making do with what you can get.

Your obviously from a bad upbringing though and you've been emotionally damaged so hope you learn to heal man, terrible thing, envy.

[tex151]

Here we go again saying I only go for emotionally damaged women. New flash all women have issues, call a skinny girl fat and see what happens. I would say 97% of women have some issue, weight, height, looks, intelligence, and the list goes on. I don't make due with what I can get I go for the smart, sweet, nice, and pretty girls, who are family oriented, so pretty much the same girls that every guy goes for. I stay away from the crazy ones and the dumb ones they just p*ss me off.

[elle1]

lol is that right I may end with assholes but I'd never get with some-one that sounded as stuck up as you. not even for a one nighter lol you must get some dumb ass, can't think for themself girls. Love to see you when your old and lonley because you can't get a girl. And the nice guys is off having a jolly old time playing bowls with the love of his life and beautiful grandchildren

;)

[skycat]

Basically you are preying on insecure girls who rely on having a very "self-confident" guy, a challenge, to make her feel like a winner. It's easy to do, to get a girl like that, not much of a prize or anything to be proud of. Just takes a little strategy. Do what you do though, the girls who take you probably deserve you and that's cool in my eyes.

[ap1100]

Everyone gets the they deserve, you're right. A shame what Cosmo magazine and TV have done to girls that they become so insecure. If you're a guy who only loves sex, I guess you are the winner. I'm a guy who never got the whole random sex thing, but many do, and I suppose they are as stunted as the girls they hook up with.

[Jamerz]

yeah but one day she won't put up with it. A girl likes an ass hole over a nice guy because the ass hole has confidence and the nice guy is shy and doesn't come off with that confidence. But I can tell you after a while the girl won't put up with being treated like shit and in the end she will marry the nice guy

[BlueJay]

You don't have to be shy to be nice. A lot of guys are 'nice' but dull and allow themselves to be used as doormats. I'm pretty loud, I can be pretty arrogant, if I think something I'm gonna say it, a lot of people don't get it and will call you an asshole over it, but that's life for ya. People just need to look past the surface and the stereotypes. It can be surprising.

[DrJones]

Jamerz, you're a f***ing retard.

[Adidas12]

Actually, believe it or not, there are girls that find guys like you despicable. They can't stand why you are mean, abusive, disprespectful, and they are usually the ones who are much smarter than other girls, know how to be treated by guys and throw away the ones who aren't nice within minutes. I've had several girlfrineds like that.

[nourreale]

When you die lonely you can write on your gravestone "I was a jerk''

Jerks win in the teens period but when a women wants a serious relationship which involves a future & a family and years of priceless love. The "nice" guy wins. And the jerks watch on with the 40year old balding heads and there bright yellow veichiles still considering themselves to be a teen when they clearly are not and the girls they get decrease and decrease in prettyness.

Owned

[tex151]

Well if that were true, why is that I'm the one who isn't a virgin, and has a gf, who isn't a teenager? You see more than likely I will be the one married in a few years, I will be the one with kids if I choose and, you will be the one who will still be single, possibly a virgin, and just can't figure out how to get laid or get a gf.

Owned.

[Littletad]

My opinion? You still need some growing up to do. You claim you still get women, but I happen to think they are just naive younger girls who don't know any better. College degree or not, your still a bad egg.

Nice bit on the nice guys though, I actually agree with that rant.

[tex151]

I've dated women from ages 18-36, braniacs to bimbos, and well what can I say, it doesn't matter the age or the education they simply go for the jerks.

[Anonymous]

First of all, these "Nice" guys are never as nice as they make out! And secondly only desperados and pathetic little girls put up with jerks, so you'll probably never fall in love because you only go for the needy and desperate. Sex is easy to get these days, get over yourself.

[tex151]

Wrong I already have fallen in love before, what else you got?

[Opinion Owner]

Did she dump your arse then?

or

Did you fall out of loe when you realised she was a needy desperado?

[tex151]

Just one of those things, where we lived together just kind of got tired of each other and decided to see other people. She wasn't needy or desperate or dumb she's in law school right now

[datgully]

Ya I consider myself a nice guy but I'm not as I appear. Its very true,the young,dumb,desperate,very low confidence girls like to be treated badly because they think that's what they deserve,they wouldn't be comfortable being treated good because they think they don't deserve respect. All girls deserve respect from their other.

[Sexy-Senior-09]

It does get tiring when your girlfriend breaks up with you to go back to their abusive ex, it seriously p*sses me off to see that they rather get disrespected than to get treated with respect. It makes me feel like turning into an asshole but I know that someday I will meet a girl that will like me for me.

[Reeses-pieces777]

i guess because guys like you hurt girls and they aren't the same afterwards.

it's almost a form of emotional abuse. I've been with a guy who was like that, and to this day I wish he was dead for ever hurting me-that's why.

ass hole guys will meet an ass hole girl and they will get what they deserve.

[PinaColada]

It's about charisma not about how nice or how much of an asshole you are. You can use the asshole technique all you want which will work if you have the smarts. It all comes down to being smart in relationship chemistry. To have a degree in a field is irrelevant, but to know what a girl REALLY wants is the key.

*The trick is to be the puppet master* which sounds like an 'assholish' thing to say but the leader will always be the guy. If the guy ain't a leader then the relationship will fail.

[tex151]

I like this answer finally someone else who gets it, you are correct, if your smart at this, you can manipulate and if you can manipulate then you become the puppet master. PinaColada knows what its all about.

[motocat]

I think you are pretending, you are actually some kind of geek who doesn't understand the whole mating game, so comes here to try and get answers. Look, if you really were a jerk, you wouldn't even know it. Instead, you are actually just some kind of pathetic looser, who spends to much time on the Internet, never to understand real women. They don't like you not because you are to nice -- but because you are either a bore or a creep!

[tex151]

Lol and the gloves come off, well nice to see at least one person has some balls congrats man. However I am not a geek far from it, I know little about comps or video games some are cool but, I would much rather spend my time getting girls, shooting guns, hunting, and of course drinking beer. Pretty geeky I know. I say the asshole thing bc, well I tend to get called that alot, but hey if a girl is a **** to me then well she deserves what she gets. Thanks for playing.

[browolf]

That kind of sentiment would assume women know what they want. I would agree they are attracted to a certain attitude and sexual confidence and you seem intelligent enough to know what you're doing however a large amount of natural "bad guys" for all their bravado are fairly insecure and feel the need to "control" their girlfriend in order to keep them. Are you advocating this as well?

[tex151]

No I am not to control them, although every man secretly wants to control his woman make she doesn't get outta line. But no I am not that extreme. I don't beat women although some I wish I could to slap some sense into them, but if she says something so stupid that baffles my mind, yeah I am going to say are you retarded that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and sometimes they cry, and I say well get over it simple as that.

[enlightenment]

I would think that the types of girls who keep going back to ass holes either have low self esteem or are just idiots. So the jerks get all the dumb ass lays, while the good guys eventually find a nice girl. So yeah...you can get laid that way fine, but the girl prob. isn't worth the time then.

[datgully]

Sometimes tho,that warm wet feeling is worth the time! haha that's the truth. I can't stand girls that have no personality and like to be treated poorly,no self respect and low self esteem. But it still feels good!

[enlightenment]

Yes...that is exactly what I was saying.

[theatergeek145]

nice guys always finish last. I know from experiences with friends and such that the guys who comfort the girls because their boyfriends are jerks occasionally end up with her. this is becuase when she goes to him often, sometimes she actually realizes that he is the evergreen, always there for her when she needs him. and, personally, I never date jerks because I work hard to build my self-confidence, and assholes will inevitably tear that down.

[DrJones]

I have to hand it to you, tex... this was a pretty clever way to find out which of the girls here fall for the asshole act. On top of that, you got a zillion responses, which makes you look influential and controversial. Now you can private-message all the ones who say "jerks are confident, I don't like nice guys because blah blah blah" and get some easy hookups.

Well played, sir.

[Similipoulette]

We like the jerks because they have an edge. Nice guys seem weaker and boring. It's the same principle for girls I believe, nice girls get taken for granted and a bitch doesn't. I think it just about always make yourself a priority in your life and not letting people walk all over you.

[ap1100]

I think guys are less likely to tolerate jerky girls because we don't need the attention and reaffirmation. Typically the guys who date those girls are blinded by sex and the girls are bitchy because they think everyone wants to sleep with them (hence, good at sex to fulfill the other end). It is harder, as you say, to find the happy medium guy; I've been called a nice guy, but not in the sad sack kind of way. Being "nice" shouldn't mean being a mealy-mouthed pushover.

[DrJones]

OP, this one will fall all over herself for you. Go get her ;)

[socalgamehater2006]

That is bullsh*t, girls can be nice, have no spine, be a spineless worm

[sassy88]

women do like a nice guy and a jerk all in one.. there is a time to be nice and sweet and a time to just be an ass..it kinda in a way keeps the relationship in check and doesn't dull it down and if there isn't a little asshole then there is somone kissing ur ass 24/7.. noone truly wants that lol

[ap1100]

That's a great way of putting it. "Nice guy" has come to mean a groveling guy who walks on eggshells and caters to a girls' every whim. I always treated dates with respect, but when someone blew me off and came back to me later, I put my foot down. I give respect and expect it in return. When I found a girl I really loved and gelled with, I didn't bow down to her. I treated her with kindness, but you are right, you can't diminish your own value and expect others not to.

[Tracy_Bing]

Do you just like being mean because you hate women? Have you ever tried being a "nice guy"?

I personally like the nice guy, and so do a lot of women. The girls attracted to men who treat them badly are like sheep, have low self esteem or are generally at a low point in their lives. If a man has his life together, and is emotionally mature, his does not need this type of conquest.

[ap1100]

Good point. It's amazing how sad and empty so many people are, whether they're a guy who's a jerk or a girl who goes out to clubs to get attention and shoot guys down. To the untrained, naive eye, they seem so much better than everyone, but I don't envy them.

[michalezki]

well woman are really stupid sometimes. and you shouldn't categorize your self as an asshole. because anyone can be one. I think you might be a lost soul or something. but seriously grow the f*** up you may be getting all the whores and coke head bitched now. but what happens when they don't come back? ... get some dignity and don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position. have a nice life being a jerk! :)

[dead-mellotron]

there has to be a happy medium, to keep the relationship both stable and interesting. too nice, and the guy will end up being used and lead on. too mean, and he'll become the user. which sounds pretty good from your viewpoint, but eventually that asswipe gets a bad reputation that is hard to fix.

[doublej]

I'm going to answer you with a question; I am usually the nice guy. I've had a lot of relationships but not a lot of hookups. I've been single for a year and will be for a while. If I want to hookup, is this totally the way to go? I would submit that it's pretty hard to get laid even once in a while if you're a nice guy.

[Paullus]

Be an ass and you'll get ass.

[stevo]

As for you're little update, I never thought of you as being uneducated. You asked a question, and I answered. Unfortunately, you're right about women that like assholes, but NOT all of them do. I've been told that the girls that do however, suffer from low self-esteem and feel that they can't do any better, or simply put, they feel that they can change the ahole into a nice guy. But if it gets you the girl, alrighty then. To each his own.

[martyfellow]

The media image is girls go for assholes because the WEALTHY jerks you see in the media--rock stars, football players, Don Trump--are always surrounded by good looking women.

But outside of the women who care only for money (sure, there are a LOT of those), the jerky guys are NOT 'getting' all the girls! Not the nice ones, the really worthwhile ones. I don't mind these rich jerks getting all the sluts--don't want them anyway!

[hauwa15]

I believe that this is due to a natural affinity to want what you can't have. I mean like seriously, we all want what we can't have. We all have desires. I think that girls are most likely to go for an asshole because subconsciously they know that what they won't get is the guy's "nice guy side". So really, it's all for the thrill and excitement to strive to get it. Girls don't really go for the nice guys because they have that thought "oh he will always be there waiting" or something like that. It's like that guy is someone they can always go back to when they get tired of all that hard work to get the asshole.

The asshole will always be cocky like he can get all these girls but in reality, he can't get ALL the girls. There will be that one girl who won't like him and that girl will be the one who catches his eye. Thus, you want what you can't have. So it's really just this strong attraction/desire we all have.

[Stvancer]

Because the nice guy feels that it is wrong. It takes more than just an "I am going to try this" attitude, it takes a sort of priority shift or something to be an asshole effectively. A nice guy trying to be an 'asshole' will result in the women actually thinking that that are an asshole instead of mysterious.

[0000013]

As a nice guy, I do feel like assholes seem to capture the attention of more women. Whether it lasts, I don't know - but it does feel unfair. Of course, it could be just my perception and maybe I wouldn't want those women. I guess not really asshole behaviour but less than nice.

Not that it matters, being an asshole isn't simply a choice. It's a matter of who you are... for me to be a d*** requires as much effort as to hang out with people I don't like, or play sports. It's not something I enjoy (sometimes I wish I liked being mean) so I'll continue being nice and hope that the responses that say nice guys get the girl are right :D

[badinfluence]

it all comes down to the fact that we want to be challenged. the nice girl is no challenge. the one that's a little bit b!tchy gets the guys. so, what you say about the guy being a jerk is true, but only in the sense that it is a challenge for the girl. The key is that once you meet somone you truly like, be NICE.