Are people scared of people with autism?

[Anonymous]

So I haven’t had many friends and my dating life has sucked and it made me wonder if how the media falsely states how people with Asperger’s have a predisposition for violence affects my ability to make friends or for people to want to be around me. What made me think of this was the 2012 Sandy hook shooting the media latched on to this narrative that autism means you are you a mass murderer. What happened that day was just straight evil and had nothing to do with autism there were clearly other things going on that potentially had a part.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, people are not afraid of you. They’re not intimidated by your actions unless you personally have some proclivity for violence to begin with. The reality of being autistic is that we struggle to pick up certain social cues, learning how to is more difficult for us and takes longer than normal. The reason you don’t have any friends or a proper dating life is more likely just that something about you is unlikable, most likely that you don’t like yourself much, and they very easily pick up on that and it kind of turns into a pre-rejection. It sucks, I get it. And since I don’t know you personally I can’t really tell you if that’s it, but if your solution to the problem is to blame the actions of a man who had a psychotic break 12 years ago, I can tell you that’s probably not it and no one remembers the Sandy Hook school shooting as an act of autistic violence.

[Asker]

So I remember the media coverage of how the zoned in on the fact he was autistic not that he had a psychotic break. I was thinking that quite naturally people aren’t gonna want to be around you if you are portrayed as dangerous. I do have extremely low self esteem but in honesty no one has ever tried to be around me or be friends like even if I have a lot of offer. When you are excluded at work or in university classes it sucks like I would be a major asset but my lack of social skills doesn’t immediately show that

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, that’s what sucks about being autistic. Something is “off” about you and you can’t see it but everyone else can. I would start by learning to like yourself and your own company rather than escaping it before you try to make friends. Having no soft skills is something that is damaging for your job hunt as well in any career

[Asker]

The thing is I like myself I like my abilities but the constant exclusion causes me to hate myself I think the biggest thing I strive for in life is simply to be accepted and I feel it shouldn’t be as hard as it is

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Then maybe you shouldn’t look in places that don’t welcome disabled people. Try getting more involved in the disabled community around your home

[Asker]

These are general places such as work and most often people like myself it isn’t immediately identifiable that we are on the spectrum

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I know, I’m telling you to look in places that aren’t your job or your house.

[DoodleGirl]

I don't think scared is the right word. Personally I know only one person with autism so I am not really sure what the characteristics of autistic people are but he is one of the best people I know and one of my closest friends.

[Asker]

They are some of the loyalist people on the earth my ex girlfriend was treating me like dog shit and I still felt loyal and didn’t want to leave her

[NamerOfStars]

A lack of knowledge makes for a lack of familiarity, and it flows downhill from there. Allistic people at firing ranges wince from gunfire; the thought of an autist going through it just hurts. But most people don't know that, and most media organizations are just looking for clicks, and stir up fear to get them.

[Zenpanda]

My best friend has autism. Doesn't make him a bad person.
There are bad people with autism, autism doesn't automatically make you a bad person.
People without autism are bad too.
So I don't judge a person based on possibilities.

[Asker]

The thing is people often don’t accept what’s different like I know people don’t accept me and it sucks sometimes because sometimes I want to feel what it’s like to do social events and be accepted.

[Zenpanda]

Find the right people bro.
There are those like me, who just don't care if you're different. You're your own person.