How do I break this image that people have of me?

[SmileyLady]

I’m a beautiful, or at least very pretty, voluptuous women with big blue eyes, big breasts and innocent eyes. I’ve come to understand that although I’m a reasonably intelligent, witty person and a very kind person, I don’t come across that way to those who don’t know me, because of my bubbly nature and feminine appearance.

It’s sort of a Legally Blonde situation like the character Elle Woods, except not coming across quite as ditzy or being quite as smart as her. The truth is and I didn’t even believe i was intelligent myself until I was assessed by a therapist when diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and found to have an iq and understanding to be quicker than most.

I’m also humble and quite a reserved person under the surface, so I think that often to prove that you’re not a bimbo, you have to show off and sell your good qualities to others and I’m not keen on showing off and feel like I shouldn’t have to prove myself to others. Yet, I hate feeling judged because I’m bubbly, pretty and big breasted. How do I change this without changing who I am?

Updates

1 y

Women was meant to be woman. Sorry.

Updates

1 y

Please, be as honest as you want.

[Grond21]

Being pretty is an enhancer. It makes you more attractive, but it doesn't discriminate what kind of attention that will bring. So you get the positive with the negative. More positive and more negative attention.

Which leaves you with two options. You can either hide your beauty and pretend it's not there, which would be both a shame and self-destructive. Or you could modulate how you carry yourself and respond to attention, which takes more effort but gives you much more control. This allows you to be a woman of both beauty and confidence, which filters out many of the men who would approach with negative intentions. I recommend the second way.

Finally, well you can influence how people see you you cannot control it. And therefore if someone makes a snap judgment sometimes it is the rusty lining that comes with the beauty. But if those who know you know who you are on the inside and that's how they see you? Then you are winning

[Grond21]

Thank you for the MHO. What do you think?

[SmileyLady]

I think you raise a good point.

[Grond21]

Glad to hear it

[bowenw]

My advice, for what it's worth, is to be yourself and not worry about how others see you and their misconceptions about you. You can't change people. Your friends and family are all that matter.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊