Men, how do you feel about being an object?

[AmandaYVR]

Greetings, all. Long time, no chat.

I'm doing research for a book and would like to know what you all think about this.

If you know or remember me, you know I like detailed comments, the more exploratory, the better. GAG is a place to socialize but also to think about the world, and how we all fit together (or don't).

So, I'm asking this question as deliberately and consciously open-ended, so as not to narrow down the thinking too much, but I will say that 'objectification' is key. Write whatever comes to mind. I never delete comments unless you're harassing someone or being extremely rude. Otherwise, I enjoy an array of opinions and angles. Speak your mind, speak your peace, non-anonymized.

I will set one, sort of, parameter, though—I'm not so much interested in, have you ever been an object, or how often, but more so in terms of the hypothetical, how would/did it make you feel?

And, ladies, feel free to comment, but the poll is for the gentlemen this time.

Hope you all are well,

ta, ta

Sounds fine to me.

Sounds great to me!

I'm neutral on that.

I don't like the idea of it.

Female, no vote, just here to look, thanks.

[backdoorman]

To me, objectification means being sexually attracted to or showing sexual attraction for someone (or a picture of them) without feeling love for or having romantic or other interest in them. And on the other side of that coin are people who dress and/or behave in ways to attract such interest. Studies have shown many women enjoy being objectified, but usually only by the right man or under the right circumstances. What those circumstances are varies by the woman.

I have never had any issue with it. It's just human sexual attraction, which is normal. I've been "objectified" more than a few times. When I lived in California I rode my bike a lot and got attention from women driving or walking by, especially during the summer. I once had a friends with benefits situations but without the friends part. Did she use me? Yep, just like I used her.

I think the problems arise when two people have different expectations or one is dishonest with the other, so the other feels "used". But to me that's different than objectification. It's objectification coupled with intentionally misleading someone.

[backdoorman]

Thank you for MHO.

[OneViewpoint]

I honestly doubt that many guys think about this... ever! It's an insecurity thing with women related to their perceived value in society. Guys don't tend to worry about that. it's more career, social status, and money that guys worry about. Because that's how society judges men.

[RavVid]

The authors of a book with the title something like 'A thousand naughty (dirty?) thoughts thoughts' were surprised by the popularity of a website that spelialized in pictures of components of the female body. Legs for example.

I was surprised at their surprise. If a girl is walking past me in the street I really only have time to enjoy looking at a part of her body. and my attention might go to her hair, face legs or waist which ever immediately takes me as the best bit of her body that is most exciting. This website convinced the authors that men do naturally objectify women as a collection of body parts.

I would say that we regard our girl as our sex object; the vagina we use on a regular basis. There is a lot more to it of course because we do feel love and we do value our girl for more than sex. But her sexual utility is the kernel of everything.

The pictures you have put up predominantly portray male attitude. Most of the pics are of fairly well built men. Only one doesn't focus attention on the face. Even then it is still about attitude and activity as they are repairing a truck.

You can easily find sexy attitude pictures of women as well. So that is not necessarily an objectification gulf. I am quite sure women do objectify men. I came across some women watching men play tennis with binoculars once in a creepy pervy way. Where the difference might lie is body parts versus whole of body.

Men just want a girl to be beautiful and nice to us. Women have 5 foolscap pages of closely written must-haves.

I don't think any man would be unhappy at being objectified and indeed would be pleased if they were. I think that women are possibly a bit more whole of person in objectifying i. e he is tall and... and... and... etc. Men are a bit more like her legs get me hard.

[lucas262]

You want material for your fuckin book. I'll give it to you. Self made man by Nora Vincent. The manipulated man by Esther vilar, the decline of the American man 1958. Men on strike dr helen Smith. Men are objectfied for their bodies, their body standards are high too. But much much worse is the dehumanizing, utility of men by our culture. That unless you heard it you'd never even think about it, it's so well drilled into us. Most men never ever wake up to their reality but remain blissfully unaware of it. Men are not loved for who they are, but what they can do/ give others. We're not even human beings. But human doings.

[AmandaYVR]

I came across this and found this Evolutionary Anthropologist David Puts to be very interesting and full of information. And it made me think of you and wonder if you'd be interested, too.
I would humbly suggest that you try to zoom out and look at the broader, inherent, anthropological differences and utilities we offer to one another. I know things are changing, and rapidly, and not always for the better (and I'm quite disturbed and angry by some of it too), but there's a broader view that's still helpful to keep in mind.

Ignore this title. They only speak on that for about the first quarter or less, then move on to all sorts of other interesting topics.
www.youtube.com/watch

[Shiprex]

In certain controlled circumstances being objectified would be an awesome experience. AS LONG AS the objectifier was doing it for THEIR pleasure and not just for being a bully.

In particular being a man under the tutelage of a group of women (somehow older but still active) ones like a butler or servant knowing they got their power kicks from getting me to do things for them as long as they were polite but not necessarily kind in a way that is demanding. That they'd comment on appearance both positively and negatively would be absolutely hilarious (and rewarding) as I would know they'd be getting their rocks off as they did it IN COMPANY with each other. The dynamic wouldn't be hugely fearful only affectionate but with a sexual tension they were empowered with in spite of my strength and size over them.

Kinda like a "maid" lol butler, handyman service for them they get special pleasure from.

Have to say it's been a chuckle thinking about this thanks

[Anpu23]

I have been objectified, and like any stereotype its ultimately unfair. But you ask how I feel about it not my experiences, but rather the abstract feelings involved so I will try and answer that.

1st its sexy to be desired, guys don't get that very often. Like compliments desire from a stranger or even an acquaintance is quite rare. Even if that desire is purely physical and not connected to anything deeper.

2nd because it is so rare, I believe that most guys simple can not tell the difference between attraction and objectification. That line is blurred and as such you might as well ask guys how they feel about being desired. And the trite answer is "does it get me laid?" Certainly when I was there I knew I wasn't "boyfriend material." But I did have a very active sex life. And that was enough at that time.

So to answer the question, most guys simply don't notice and if they do, well they don't care.

[DopeTurtle]

I think it matters on what point am I in my life and who is doing it but to make it simple, everything is good in moderation.


Now if I’m just a young single guy who isn’t seeing anyone with the intention of it being long term then sure, it’s gonna be a lot of fun. Walking home in the morning , clothes being slightly stretched out from the grabbing by the color or the hickeys/ scratch marks. All that good stuff is fun when you’re young, being seen for your body and looks/ fashion is a huge ego boost for most young men.


At this point in my life, no I don’t want to be because that temporary fun isn’t satisfying to me anymore. Don’t get me wrong, if my significant other just pounces on me because I’m doing normal things around them then yes it’s a good reminder of the passion in the relationship with a hint of objectivity.


On most days? At this point in my life? Nah I’m good

[exitseven]

Hello Amanda.
I was actually thinking about this today. I was in a relationship with somebody for 4 years. She lived 1500 miles away. When I would go visit her she used to like to show off with me to her friends. At first I thought it was cool. After a while it seemed like I was a fashion accessory. She told me she loved me and we talked about marriage but after a while it just seemed like she just liked the idea of having a boyfriend and not so much about me.

[AmandaYVR]

Hey, you, nice to see you.
Yeah, that's a tricky one to figure out. Good for you for doing so.
You don't want that, you're a piece of a puzzle, but maybe almost tool-like, being slotted into a life like a box checked.
I see hints of this during wedding planning. Poor guys have to wonder whether she really wants him, or she wants the party and to be a princess. Hopefully it's just for the day, and she knows the reality of what the rest will be like. Though I've seen guys who want as big a party, too. Seems pretty narcissistic.

[Snakeyes7]

I think the whole concept of objectification is severely overblown.

Ideally objectification is when someone literally sees you as an object which would require damage to several critical brain functions. Now it's equated to checking someone out which hurts no one and both sexes do it whether they admit it or not.

[AmandaYVR]

That's a healthy attitude. I like it. 👍
This softening of people is doing no one any good.

[Snakeyes7]

Thanks!

[RandomUser1000]

I voted for the neutral option.

One one hand it can be a bit of a compliment to be objectified.
Can be a bit of an confirmation you are attractive.
On the other hand, if there is to much objectification and everyone just care about your body and nothing more, then that's more negative.

So moderate objectification can be good. But if it's way to much its bad.

[HungTexan]

I’m ok being an object, and always have felt that way. When I was young I kind of enjoyed it. Rumors about my being hung, my athletic prowess and physique spread and it was a turn on. I liked it. Now that I’m a lot older, I like that women appreciate my intelligence, my personality, sense of humor, etc., and still appreciate my sexuality and older trim physique.

[Staximus]

In my late teens I had a couple of girls that treated me like a piece of meat and just used me for sex, and I didn't really care. Now they just want a free problem solver, free mechanic, free handyman. I am no longer prime grade beef, more like beef jerky

[Staximus]

With an emphasis on the jerkey part

[Dargil]

Like this back in the day.

Now more like Tom Homan.

It got me laid while it lasted.

[krin_m]

I'm really neutral about it. If feel that someone is objectifying me, it does not bother me. I'm still in control of who I'm, if that makes sense.

[AmandaYVR]

That 'I'm in control' intrigues me. Anything more to say on that?

[krin_m]

I mean my elf-image is not dependent on whether someone is objectifying me. I do enjoy attention from a beautiful woman as much as the next person but it still change how I think of myself.

[AmandaYVR]

Ah, got it, thanks.

Couples of typos there. "elf-image", lol. And I think you meant to say, in the last sentence, it still "doesn't" change how I think of myself.

[krin_m]

:-) Good catch on typos. I guess I should not be answering questions here while working 😃

[Miristheiss]

Men are success objects. Women are beauty objects.

[worldscolide]

I don't really care. I'm more okay with the above than being objectified for money and resources which is a common thing that women do to men.

[Cyrus000]

No big deal. As long as the person "objectifying" isn't insufferable, I would just take it as a compliment.

[Shark_61695]

Women only want me for my body... lift that heavy thing, get something from a high shelf...

[AviatorTom]

Go ahead, use me, just please call me in the morning. 😎

[ProbablyClueless]

I can't imagine that anyone would be thrilled about being an object

[Spencer10]

Before I could answer this I would like you to define "object"?

[AmandaYVR]

I wrote in the body of the q that I was deliberately not defining it, lol.
Because this will be a conversation between two characters. I don't like to lead the witness. Everyone has their own mind.

[Spencer10]

You know I reread your question and saw that as soon as I posted... me bad. Lesson learned. That being said would it be cool if I PMed you?

[AmandaYVR]

lol.
Sure.

[loveslongnails]

Hi Amanda, long time no see. I only WISH I were handsome enough and built well enough to BE an "object". LOL

[Jay-_-]

No idea, never was one and if I am then I'm an object they can't have 😎

[beefcakebradybatson]

LOVE IT !!!(Imagine, a 71-year-old lad as a s*x object !!!)

[Sabretooth]

I don't focus on it. we're all objectified in some way. just depends on how much?

[alice55]

They love it...

[stratford]

Depends on who is objectifying me :-)

[jahaims]

Only 1% of men experience that.

[noohair]

I don't really care what strangers think of me.

[shortster]

Objectively, I don't care for it.

[PaleDale]

I love being a toy boy

[fuddly]

Fine
Objectify me