Are Teens & under 25s having their development into adulthood retarded so that they dont grow up until age 30?

[Gwendoline]

There is a theory that kids and young adults development has largely been retarded. I mean I've talked to so many college kids that are frankly so immature and its obvious their development has been retarded. That is they dont behave as responsible adults, especially since they are in the hole litteraly for tens of thousands of dollars or pounds. They dont know how to look after themselves, wash a dish, do laundry, work a crappy job etc, parents will solve all their problems and pay all their debts while they play Xbox or work on their careers as social influencers/digitalcreators. Life's too easy at the Hotel of Mom& Dad.

Updates

7 mo

To retard something means to make its development or progress slow; hinder or impede. (E. g., "The lack of rain will retard the growth of the plants").

[KostasKouvalis]

I'm glad I'm not the only one, but you're English so I'm surprised you're so shocked by this, as this is so normal in Europe. But living with your parents, doesn't neccessarily mean non-indepedent. But I wonder how many of these are immigrant families, because Americans usually kick their kids out at 16.

Those other ones could be concerning, but I don't see why it's bad to have self-respect and ambitions and not want to work a crappy job, especially if you're smart and educated. In other countries it's completely normal to not work 'til your 20s, then go straight into the field you got your degree in. So this culture shift makes me hopeful. But Asian-Americans have always been like this. One of my co-workers was like this. It used to annoy me, but now I kind of understand them. Why should someone who has the skills and knowledge start at the bottom of the totem pole? That being said, this cortosey IS extended, but only to brown people. American companies are so weird. They want you to do the totem in order, even if you qualify for a higher position.

But yeah, I think young people are starting to realize their parents/grandparents worked their whole lives with nothing to show for it but illness and depression. Good on American kids and parents too for finally realizing that life needs to be about more than just work.

But some basic life skills and chores should be taught. I'll admit, I don't know how to do laundry either, 'cuz my mom always did all the laundry, so I never had an incentive to learn. But I can't be the only one, otherwise we wouldn't have laundrymats. And my dad always handled the bills and taxes. Even my mom wouldn't know how to handle the bills if he died, because he does them all online and never showed us.

My mom blames me and my dad, but she's equally responsable. She nevet let me go outside alone, because she was afraid something would happened to her little baby. She walked to the bus stop when I was in my 20s to scold my uncle for taking me outside with wet hair😂

And my dad and my mom both. Whenever I tried to do some chores, they would always tell me I'm doing it wrong and THEIR method is the RIGHT method. They call each other control freaks, but they BOTH are.

But anyways, I am very surprised by this as American parents were always so strict and send their kids to work at 16 and kicked their kids out at 18

[WindAtMyBack]

Yes, but it is open for debate if that's a good or bad thing.

At one time people commonly got married in their teens. They were raised that way. They had very little academic education and were commonly illiterate. They lived in an agrarian world and learned what they needed at home. They were working from a very young age, and taking on responsibility from a young age.

Over the years they got more and more formal education, which delayed expectations of entering adulthood. My parent's generation were probably the first with a high percentage of people going to college. In the US that was largely because of the post-WW2 GI bill. As time passed, the number of college bound kids increased. When I first went to college, it was rare to get graduate degrees. Now it's common.

A high percentage of kids don't finish their formal education until their early to mid 20s, even late 20s. Preparation for life, through formal education, pushed back entering a self-reliant adulthood by a good ten years.

Here in the US you hear people complain about the increase in retirement age for Social Security. But that was built into the system from the very start in the 1930s. In total, the minimum retirement age has only increased 2 years from the 1930s until now. The number of working years before minimum retirement age has actually decreased, not increased.

People spend more time preparing for life and less time living it.

It's a trade-off. As people spend more and more time preparing for life, they can expect ending the preparation stage, and entering the adult stage, at a latter and later age.

[Anonymous]

I don't hang with teens and 20 year old people much so I'm not sure.

I think there are lots of reasons people of that age range are still living with mom & dad

Try looking for a reasonable price place to live without needing roommates, it's easier to live with mom &dad and pay rent there. younger people's social skills aren't as good as older people's thanks to being kept at home back in 2019 the internet also isn't helpful with developing social skills with others. As far as acting younger than they are I think some of it relates to the what I said above as well as we don't all grow up at the same rate.

[sage2021]

It seems that they were raised that way, so they are only doing what their parents taught them to be. It's totally ignorance from the role of their parents not instilling good values and how to maneuver life.
Also, I wonder why these people aren't ambitious and self motivated to do something good with their lives for themselves.
I got my first job when I was 16 years old and worked for 30 years. Not because of my parents, but because of my self respect and my own ambition.

[sage2021]

And I got my first apartment when I was only 17! And worked everyday too.

[Friendlybro79]

Why is there the assumption they're not ambitious? Sure some of every generation lack ambition, but you clearly must know kids can't afford apartments at 17, let alone independently lease an apartment in their own as a minor. Also, salaries don't allow young people to afford an apartment in their own, and allow themselves to save for a house. There's opportunity for people if they're patient. It took me 39 to afford a house that my parents could afford at 21 and I am way more ambitious then they ever were. I'm 46 and it's even harder for someone who's younger than me.

[sage2021]

@Friendlybri79

I say that because a person has to have self respect, self determination, self discipline and self ambition that can only come from within the person.
Instead of loafing around on the couch playing video games - why don't they do some volunteer work and help people who need help? That experience will also go on their resumé.
I realize the economy has changed since I was young but still productive. But it's not impossible to get your butt out of the house and go and spend some time volunteering yourself for a good cause.
Plus you will meet new people and who knows, end up with a job offer from someone who admires your work and helping the less fortunate. This will also build up self-esteem in the person and make them feel worthwhile.

[Friendlybro79]

I'm not trying to be a pain but you're assuming people that live at home are loafing around and all playing video games all day. People that are 18-29 are also working hard so they can afford to leave. I don't think you realize how much the economy has changed if you lead with beliefs like this. I work with many young people and they don't have the opportunity to save the amount needed to move out. Many are trying to save for a home and forgo renting because if they do rent young enough, they won't be able to save for a house ever and be renters forever. Some get to near 30 and just give up and finally cave to renting... after trying to save for a decade.

I mean this with respect and not being harsh. I only notice people in your age bracket that make blanket statements like this and it's not helpful. The people you're referring to are a small majority. Your generation had lazy people. Today's young people are entering ajob market far complex than yours and they have to contend with tech advances that make them obsolete faster than any generation.

It's not an excuse it's a reality that they can contend with but takes longer than your generation to get a grip on.

It doesn't mean you didn't work hard or didn't earn what you have. It's just not possible to expect a young person to be on the same life timeline that you were. Your answer that they're just lazy is not true for the majority of young people.

[sage2021]

@Friendlybro79

People of my generation WERE NOT LAZY. Hell, they built America!
What's the BFD that a house is the only thing they are living for? You don't die from renting! It's something nice if you can afford it, but you can live just fine without a house! 🏡

[Joshydavid25]

I agree with @Friendlybro79.. It's a different typenof economy.. I don't think late millennial and early to mid Gen z are lazy and look around on the couch.. The economy today just don't allow to the ease of independence of your generation. A lot of younger people are saving to that they don't have to live check to check..

[Friendlybro79]

@sage2021 I didn't mean everyone in your generation was lazy lol. I meant to say there were also lazy people in your generation like every generation. I know many lazy baby boomers though. I have worked with them side by side for 32 years lol. I have also worked with fantastic boomers that I have learned a lot from.

That said, boomers didn't build America your parents and their parents did. Don't be ridiculous. Boomers took what was built and did fantastic things that advanced us to where we are. The problem is the ego on many (not all) boomers.

Also there is a big issue that puts younger than generations at a disadvantage with becoming perpetual renters. One they can't even afford rent because it's insane in most places in the country and two not owning creates a huge disparity in generational wealth. Home ownership is the biggest asset people own for the most part. Without generational wealth the middle class shrinks and has less advantages than the previous generation and it will get worse.

You can live just fine renting, but not as good as your generation. That's my point. I'm telling you politely you're out of touch. I'm sure you mean well but you're definitely out of touch.

[Friendlybro79]

My apologies for my mistype with writing boomers are lazy in general. That's not what I meant.

[XXblack88]

And how much did rent cost back then?

[sage2021]

XXBlack88

[sage2021]

XXblack88
It was $200 plus gas bill and electric bill.
I only took home $500/month. I had to pay for transportation to and from work. Put gas in my car and buy groceries as well.
It was hard but I made it work!

[OneViewpoint]

I'm not sure having their development retarded is the right description.

Go back a 100 years to the Great Depression in the USA and Europe and multigenerational families, often 3 generations, living together under one roof was pretty common. Why, because there was very little economic activity and almost no middle class.

That changed briefly form the end of WWII to about 2010 with the post war economic boom and the establishment of a large middle class due to economic opportunity.

But the 1% have been pursuing class warfare against the middle class and poor such that we have now slipped back into an economy that isn't working for 95% of the population with education, homes, healthcare, cars, and even food increasingly out of reach and perpetual debt crushing the dreams of young people.

So now, we've done the only thing most people can do in that economy designed to produce poverty on a massive scale. We are back to 1900 and 2-3 generations of a family living under one roof to get by. We shouldn't be screaming for the heads of immigrants. We should be screaming for the heads of the 1%.

[HighValue]

Most of them grew up in single mother households and regardless if people want to admit it or not, fathers are often better/more valuable parents to kids when growing up. If you were a teacher, you'd realize that most of the dumbest students and most of the worst behaved students come from single mother households, but single father households are almost just as good as a two parent one.

Parents AND teachers lead by example, even if they don't realize it.

Also, having smartphones has made a lot of people dependent on looking things up and not actually learning much for themselves. Many teachers contribute to that problem by having so much of the educational content on chrome books/laptops instead of using real books. Many students just type the questions into the search bar and copy the answer without reading the content or gaining an understanding of the lessons. Too many teachers are lazy and want the computer programs to do their jobs for them and it is ruining education. On top of that, many teachers spend more effort pushing a liberal agenda than learning the necessary academic content.

[RavVid]

Extended adolescence is indeed a thing. With extended adolescence comes reduced accountability and you see this in newspapers and social commentary. Oh she was only 20 and her consent to a gangbang wasn't meaningful.

I am glad I am off a farm because it teaches you responsibility which a lot of city kids just don't get in their growing up. Instead they get coddle. I don't feel sorry for parents with a 29 yo child cause they created this. Feminism acts to amplify this because it is always someones else's fault; a woman can never be accountable and responsible for her life choices.

Your bio says married so doubtless you have a well developed sense of responsibility and accountability that you find lacking in others of your age.

[abc3643]

This is a good question.

Yes and no.

Yes, because kids are learning a lot of things faster than when I was young. There are a lot of reasons for that, but one is that kids become aware of adult problems - the problems that they will be facing - earlier now because of the Internet.

However, the explosion of entertainment options and the ability to waste money on those options is causing young people to stay immature and playing instead of getting serious about growing up such as saving and preparing to survive on your own. Furthermore, social media is simply helping keep young people immature because they end up agreeing with other immature people thus reinforcing their reluctance to grow up.

[abc3643]

As for "still living with parents", that doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of growing up. Our society has become truly fucked up since Reagan became President 45 years ago. In short, the middle class has been dying and so being able to financially be on your own is increasingly difficult - especially if you are single. This is related to the "Affordability Crisis" that is finally a political issue now.

However, generations ago, "multigenerational homes were commonplace". "Multigenerational" means 3 generations are living together in one house. For instance, when I was a baby, we lived in a multigenerational home: My great-grandmother, my paternal grandparents, my parents, and me.
Now, my grandparents told my parents that they could continue to live there as long as they saved up for a home of their own. My parents did so, when I was 2.5, we moved into our own home.

This sort of thing is happening again... by necessity.

[NaultD]

It's not uncommon for houses to have multiple generations and it was only the post world war boom where house development needed people to move out at 18.

If ypur parents are willingly tondie for your country you can suffer 30 years of crippling debt. Which the housing market inflated to astronomically after boomers got into political power.

This endless growth wasn't sustainable and boomers made a point to never be left with the bag.

Should get back to the point ultimately it's probably better to have multiple generations taking care of the house. Once your sole sufficient you tend to only give a fuck about yourself. Fuck you i got mine or I'll get my own later.

Can't do that in a giant house. Everyone has to pitch in and over time roles change. You start with peeling the potatoes and eventually you become host of the family feast.

[RandomGirl42]

Yes, I'm not sure exactly why. There are many theories. But it is obvious something is going on and yeah, our generation has to deal with issues never before faced in history. Sometimes I really wonder how the hell we're going to pull this off but I am the eternal optimist and I believe somehow, someway we will all be ok.

[loveslongnails]

Not so much in the rest of the civilized world, but definitely in the United States. For one thing, if you have an entry level job somewhere, you generally can't afford to live on your own. If you move out of your house, you probably need 2 roommates to share costs. Then you have to pay for all your stuff too.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, because they've been infantilized a bit too much and failed by a system that doesn't teach them actual skills to survive in the world but just to be a worker been or drone.. I mean people call 18-24 year old "kids" when they're grown adults..

[Joshydavid25]

Worker being**..

[dragoblack]

Every generation goes through this. The moment you hit 18, you have partial access to adulthood and you go out discovering with what you can do. When you hit 21, you go out to drink and party until you are 25 to 27. The living at home bit is usually an economic crisis issue where moving out requires finding a decent apartment and apartments are 3-4 times rent income, not to mention the hundreds of dollars in background checks for applications to said apartments, if they went to college, then massive amounts of debt to pay off in the process of finding a place, with the little money you have left after taxes from an underpaid job that heavily extorts their workers. there's also the issue the past generations are working 2-3 jobs and have little to no time to teach their kids the lifeskills that the school's removed, so the only way they will learn life skills, is if they move out and forced them to learn.

[Surely]

The young people today were not raised with any responsibilities or taught respect. No shoveling snow or mowing lawns. Just to raise a couple of dollars to spurge on something that they crave.
Imagine if they needed to earn the money to buy their own ridiculously priced cell phones! At twelve years old. I did a lot of the farming while my father worked away.

[NathanDavis]

that's just globalization...

since the USA is no longer able to exploit the middle class from other countries... it has turned to exploit its own middle class...

now Americans are paying the price of both, capitalism and consumerism...

[goaded]

USA official poverty level is $30,900* for a FAMILY OF 4! 40 hrs a wk at min wage is $15,080 GROSS WAGES! Is this acceptable? What to do if anything?

[Nik1hil]

🤣🤣🤣Excuse me..

In cultures around the world kids live with parents doesn't mean they are Retard..

American are Retard for leaving parents at 18.. it's a Scam sold to American Man since World war 1, Before that even American's use to have family houses & family lands and generations Lived there..

Stop falling for the Capitalism Trap and working yourself to death.. instead take a break from work and Live a little

[Ariesman81]

Yeah. Most U. S. parents have been taught in the last couple decades that shielding children from life is considered good parenting. All it does is enable poor behavior.

[shortster]

Yes, that is the purpose of public schools to keep people out of the job market and thereby keep unemployment low.

[Sevenpointfive]

how do you figure? we don't have jobs for the smart people either. education does not equate to trained professional. we need to train people. we need to give our people the same opportunities that foreigners have. they get everything free and how is that fair? how are people supposed to succeed when the game is rigged to keep you down?

[Gwendoline]

@Sevenpointfive this is true. How many college educated out there work minimum as a batista long term

[Sevenpointfive]

i know many people that are too smart for their jobs. i was once told by a manager that i wouldn't get promoted because i knew too much. some companies want to hire stupid people

[shortster]

100 years ago an 8th grade education was sufficient for most people. 50 years ago you only needed a high school education. 30 years ago it was an associate's or bachelor's degree. Now you need a master's or PhD. However, if you take someone with a master's degree and give them the same test they gave 8th graders 100 years ago; most of them would fail it. The more time you spend in school the less time you spend looking for work. Plus as a society you get the ancillary effect of creating more education system jobs.

[Sevenpointfive]

the educational system is in collapse. i think it started just as i finished high school? but it's been on the decline for almost 30 years. they are actually trying to make school optional. and what that leads to is child labor.

[darkcloud1945]

All their schooling added up equals passing kindergarten. Try talking with them, and you will see the extent of their lack of education, which costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. Woke and DEI education at its finest!

[jJanSmit]

The lack of places to live makes youngsters stay at home longer where I live. And often it's hard to involve them in the daily household, like cleaning and chores

[Bricealan]

@gwendoline I believe you are spot on, and that description, fits me to a T.

[jamesgoldman]

Absolutely I can think a couple of exceptions who were so ahead you'd want to pour them a Scotch at 14

[Kelley1]

Our society, our schools and colleges, the media, and whoever rules the usa are not in favor of children and young adults developing maturity.

[exitseven]

yes, kids have been coddled their whole lives and have all had protracted childhoods.

[WonderingManII]

I think it is because of the public schools. They have dumbed things down.

[Anonymous]

I moved out at 18year old ans got married at 24 so I think it depends on the situation

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, som of my friends’ and neighbours’ kids are useless twats

[SoccerPlayer99]

Yep. Helicopter parenting and social media have really messed things up.

[slatyb]

Yes, because they can't afford to move out.

[Gwendoline]

Can afford the latest I phone, tablets, laptops, phones, xboxs, Starbucks coffee, netflix, cars, onlyfans , the latest fashion, tattoos, holidays, to attend protests, concert tickets, eating out...

[slatyb]

Right, because housing has gotten insanely expensive relative to wages.

[goaded]

Sell your iphone and buy a house instead!

[Gwendoline]

@goaded it all adds up.

[slatyb]

Not to enough to make a mortgage payment

[goaded]

Maybe one out of 480 (or 600, in a fifty year mortgage).

[beefcakebradybatson]

I'm 72 and VERY boyish.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok.

[noohair]

Digital dementia...