Last night, I got a warning pop up on my phone telling me not to start fires. It was lucky I got it because I was about to burn a street down like a woman in Pantside did a few days ago. If only the government had sent the warning earlier.
I feel safer knowing the government is looking after us but feel a nice song would have got the message through better than a text.
So, fellow Britons, did you get your government warming yesterday?
Yes. We won't be burning anymore witches for a while
Yes I've cancelled this evenings BBQ in our hay barn
Yes but the government's not telling me what to do. Tonight's woodland firework display is still on
No I didn't get a warning but I shall conform because the government knows what's best for us
I'm not British we have a God given constitutional right to carry flame throwers here
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Britons, did you receive your government warning on Friday?
I'm not British and I got no warning but I did see several news items about Andy Burnham banning the sale and use of one-use barbecues. I'd never heard of them and had to look them up. They're made of cardboard and bamboo. I have no idea how you cook on them without destroying them.
They're aluminium trays, a bit like those disposable ones you roast turkeys in. They come prefilled with charcoal with a grill that sits on top. There's long been call to ban them because of littering issues and the damage they cause to grass in parks. There's also been accidents on beaches when people bury them afterwards and people stand on them.
I had to look up what they were too. And now their emergency services are inundated with phone calls of people reporting neighbors who are having BBQs.
Oh, and your Japanese one hit wonder is now stuck in my head… thanks, Tom.
Emergency services are being overwhelmed by Karens at the minute. I know one guy who was just putting a fence up and someone called the police because a hammer hitting a nail might cause a spark.
"... yesterday I watched a man at our hotel breakfast set fire to a toaster by trying to toast a croissant - despite multiple signs telling him not to.
Woke me up, ya know I think they missed the boy who cried wolf tale. They give us these sirens as if the world is ending yet its nothing so what happens when it is? When something important actually happens. Also it actively makes me want to start a fire, oops my cig fell into some bushes oh no!
In the USA we get warnings to not drink gasoline or dry our Chihuahua in the microwave. But for some over achievers no amount of product labeling or phone alerts is gonna stop them from winning a Darwin Award.
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I'm not British and I got no warning but I did see several news items about Andy Burnham banning the sale and use of one-use barbecues. I'd never heard of them and had to look them up. They're made of cardboard and bamboo. I have no idea how you cook on them without destroying them.
They're aluminium trays, a bit like those disposable ones you roast turkeys in. They come prefilled with charcoal with a grill that sits on top. There's long been call to ban them because of littering issues and the damage they cause to grass in parks. There's also been accidents on beaches when people bury them afterwards and people stand on them.
I had to look up what they were too. And now their emergency services are inundated with phone calls of people reporting neighbors who are having BBQs.
Oh, and your Japanese one hit wonder is now stuck in my head… thanks, Tom.
Emergency services are being overwhelmed by Karens at the minute. I know one guy who was just putting a fence up and someone called the police because a hammer hitting a nail might cause a spark.
Now that’s funny
"... yesterday I watched a man at our hotel breakfast set fire to a toaster by trying to toast a croissant - despite multiple signs telling him not to.
Today he tried again.
So, you know, calibrate for the average person."
https://bsky.app/profile/edent.tel/post/3mt2s2puhuk2x
Woke me up, ya know I think they missed the boy who cried wolf tale.
They give us these sirens as if the world is ending yet its nothing so what happens when it is? When something important actually happens.
Also it actively makes me want to start a fire, oops my cig fell into some bushes oh no!
In the USA we get warnings to not drink gasoline or dry our Chihuahua in the microwave. But for some over achievers no amount of product labeling or phone alerts is gonna stop them from winning a Darwin Award.
Oh, what would we do with our benevolent government to take care of us and make sure we don't do silly things.
Yeah, I got it. I thought something was up with my phone, until I saw the message.
Simples...
Yes because we all live in a Nanny State in the UK
This is crazy!
Yes I did