Do attractive people actually have it easier or harder in dating?

[Veronika_p]

Honestly I've seen people look at people and be like “Wait… you’re THAT pretty and you’re single?” 😂 Why do people act like being attractive comes with a relationship?

I’ve always found this funny. Someone can be genuinely handsome or beautiful, say they’re single, and suddenly people look at them like they just revealed a huge secret 😂😆

But what if they actually want to be single? Not everyone is looking for a relationship, and being attractive doesn't automatically mean someone has a partner...

There are also so many assumptions that come with being good-looking. Cute guys sometimes get labeled as players before they’ve even done anything. People assume they must have women everywhere and probably can't be trusted. And beautiful women can get the opposite treatment... some people immediately assume they're arrogant, difficult, dramatic, or have some “bad personality” hiding underneath the looks.

Then there’s the funniest part: sometimes people won't even approach an attractive person because they assume, “There's no way they're single.” 😂 Meanwhile, that person might literally be wondering why nobody ever approaches them.

Looks can honestly make dating more complicated than people realize.

So I'm curious: Have you ever been surprised that someone attractive was single, or have you ever avoided shooting your shot because you assumed they were already taken? 😭😂 And do you think attractive people get judged more harshly when it comes to dating?

[BonzoInBitburg]

They have a harder time. I had a business where a large percentage of my clients were former models and almost all of them were single. If a guy is half decent and has the balls to approach, dating hot women is easier than dating average looking women because he has no competition. Guys are too scared of asking out beautiful women, they'd rather swipe right on an average looking woman and hope for the best.

[Veronika_p]

Thank you for understanding my point

[thegreenyogi]

I think it depends on how you look at it... you certainly gain a lot of attention and so you end up attracting a lot of people that want to date you but just because you attracting the millions doesn't mean it's easy to find the right one. And being attracting inevitably means you also attract people that aren't good for you. So is it easier? Not so sure at least in my personal experience.

[Veronika_p]

You got my point 👍 thank you

[thegreenyogi]

Welcome!!

[sage2021]

My husband was a very good looking guy!! 😍🤩

But when your husband is that good looking, other women wanted him too.

One lady told me "When you're done with him, send him my way". This was someone I worked with.

I was the girlfriend of a very good looking guy and he would go to this restaurant/bar to play darts with the guys after work and the waitresses were flirting with him so much he could hardly play darts with his buddies.

So he called me up and asked me to come to the restaurant and meet him in the bar. When I sat down next to him, he started making out with me and kept kissing me right in front of the waitresses so they would leave him alone!

So, there's that when you are with someone who is very attractive.

I believe that attractive people are paid special attention in public and get away with things that unattractive people wouldn't get away with because they aren't very good looking. Which makes their lives easier.

Some people are very intimated by very attractive people and tend not to approach them unless they are very good looking themselves.

[Veronika_p]

You're 💯 on point

[sage2021]

@Veronika_p

Thank you and thank you for the like too! 🙂

[OneViewpoint]

Maybe I had those biases way back in my teen years. But I got over it quickly. I found out fast that a lot of really attractive women have all the insecurities other women have. Some hot women get hit on all the time and get defensive and / or tired of it. Some seldom get hit on and are really happy to get a little interest and some validation from the right guy. Sometimes gorgeous women are actually inexperienced and awkward because guys avoid them. I've been told I can be intimidating to women. Not as in threatening, as in they are anxious about getting into a conversation with me because I give off a confident vibe and that is exactly what they lack. They get tongue tied or giggly. I've found that looks are an unreliable indicator of personality or IQ and most attractive women are polite and cordial unless a guy acts like a jerk. Also her saying "no" is not her being a bitch for all the Incels out there. She has choices. And she's allowed to choose. Take it like a man and move on like a gentleman.

But to the literal question "Do attractive people actually have it easier or harder in dating"? They have a different set of problems and all the same potential flaws. Other people judge them and/or resent them for their looks. But they also get better treatment from bartenders, and the opposite sex a lot of the time. Basically the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Talk to attractive people and average or unattractive people and they'll both complain. But I think attractive people have a much more manageable set of challenges. They have choices. The rest have far fewer choices.

[ohsheeT]

Yes the year after I seen your year I was in a store and I ran into a friend of mine and I asked her who was going to take her to the prom that night and she said nobody that she and two of her friends that I knew too nobody asked them either and I said you're kidding me and I said call up her two friends I said their names and I said ask them if they want to go I said I'll take all three of you guys girls because we were good friends they were just a year behind me and she said okay and I gave her my phone number and she called me and said yes because they already got through dresses they're flowers whenever they're called LOL it's on the tip of my town but anyway yeah so when she said yes the one girl I was talking to I called her old boyfriend which is was one of my roommates and asked him if he wanted to come with me and he said he would meet me there then I called a couple other friends but none of them showed up but when I got there to the and there were some of my friends that I knew and I said why didn't you guys ask these girls and they all said well we figured that they were already taken you know that they had somebody to go with because they were beautiful they were popular they were beautiful they were smart but anyway yeah you're 100% right Attractive people have it harder sometimes especially if they're home bodies and don't get out with other people very often

[gasman70]

it depends on what you consider harder. If you consider harder having the other person look more deeply into the relationship, then yes. If you're talking about options, then no. Attractive people only get judged more harshly in dating by those people who aren't dating them out of jealousy. It's kind of funny though, it's a proven fact that more attractive people get more advantages in life. that's not what I say, it's been proven over and over again. Why do you think that they use attractive people in sales? Because people respond better to attractive people than ugly people. If you took an ugly person and had them do the same exact sales presentation in the same way to the same people, and then did the same thing with the same people, the attractive sales people would get far more sales. It's a simple fact that attractive people have it easier in life. It's just those few that are so jealous that they make it a living hell for attractive people. That's not the rule though, that's the exception.

[NathanDavis]

personally... I've never had an issue with dating

however... I don't base "my dating" on just looks alone, nor the looks as a priority... I am a bit more substantial than that

but sure... looks can help some at the start of things, but that's all, it can get you more attention from more people at that start, but it will not do the rest, lol

[EzraIsShy76028]

It depends though in general I've heard both really attractive as well as really ugly people struggle a lot in different ways. As in the really attractive people get to look good and feel confident but are never sure if people like them for who they are or just their looks, and really attractive women are unfortunately at a higher risk of getting raped or otherwise taken advantage of; meanwhile the really ugly people are often treated as subhuman but if someone loves an ugly person they know it's for who they are and not their looks and guys are unlikely to wanna rape an ugly woman. And if you're an introvert I guess being ugly could work in your favor as people will naturally avoid you more and won't go out of their way to talk to you if you're into that.

[MrChinaski]

I'm going to totally geek out here. Suppose attractiveness is a bell curve centred at 5, censored at 0 and 10, with a standard deviation of 2 ... so that 2/3 of people are between a 3 and a 7 ... and when searching you are determined to find a partner no more than 0.5 either side of you in attractiveness.

Then if you have average attractiveness, 20% of the population are eligible matches, whereas if you are Sydney Sweeney, only 1% of the population are eligible matches.

(Your question caught me while desperately trying to take a break from a homework problem set)

Sucks to be Sydney Sweeney

[MrChinaski]

Even geakier. Suppose people want to date no worse than 0.5 less than them on attractiveness, however defined.

Then if you are an 8, 96% of the world wants to date you, but you only want to date 10% of the world and the intersection gets us back to 6.6% available matches in the chart.

You People you want to date People who want to date you Mutual intersection
0 100.0% 1.2% 1.2%
1 98.8% 4.0% 2.8%
2 96.0% 10.6% 6.6%
3 89.4% 22.7% 12.1%
4 77.3% 40.1% 17.5%
5 59.9% 59.9% 19.7%
6 40.1% 77.3% 17.5%
7 22.7% 89.4% 12.1%
8 10.6% 96.0% 6.6%
9 4.0% 98.8% 2.8%
10 1.2% 100.0% 1.2%

[Levin]

I do assume attractive women are not single. Because there is often a glow and an ease about people in relationships. But more than that I just assume they have myriad options.

It's not easy being hot. Sadly, most women don't cut it.

[Veronika_p]

Exactly 💯

[Anonymous]

There's truth in what you say. Problem is it is a VERY SMALL nigget of truth. Right up there with the saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". It's something we say so UGLY people do not feel all hope is lost. The REALITY is if a person is attractive, they know it. If they're a woman they're told it constantly. And the statement of a woman who is attractive and not being approached is downright laughable. Women (even super avg. Women) get 🍆's thrown at them. And virtually no one wants to be single. Now they may be lazy. And they maybe expect the other person to do all the heavy lifting in a relationship. In that respect the SHOULD be single. But they still don't want to be single.

[Billlewis]

Not if you're an attractive guy, because you are more useful as someone for women to reject to gain status. 'Did you hear about Robbie and Rachel? He's good looking and has a great job, and she turned him down!' 'Wow... she's really doing great these days, isn't she?'

[FreyaRed]

I'm not ugly and I'm naturally attracted to men on my own attractiveness bracket. However competition in this branch is high through hypergamy and those men are spoilt due options they have.
Sometimes it's necessary go do down in matter of physical assets for psychological ones.

[jshm2]

No.

Everyone is ugly to someone, even though they may be attractive to someone else. Also, dating is a different ball game, as "looks" are not the factor.

There is wealth , health, personality, sociability, style and a whole host more that comes into the equation.

Quite often the REASON some people fail at dating is they think it's all about attraction.

[Shiprex]

It depends. For men it is easy as all they need to do is be friendly to women and women will ignore red flags and get on in there. For women it's not much different. However, for average women there is a high chance of success unless they are crazy while for men it is hell on earth

[Taranis_Thunor]

Happy with not being in a relationship is only something some women think, though even there most aren't being fully honest with themselves. They want a relationship but their expectations have either been distorted by the internet or influenced by Romance novels offering them ideas of a "bad boy" (werewolves & vampires).

[Kelley1]

It is forty times easier for attractive people to date. In fact, it is so much easier that the question is absurd. However, attractive people can have standards so unreasonable that dating becomes impossible for them.

[exitseven]

There is an urban legend that says that girls who are very attractive never get asked out because guys just assume they have a boyfriend or else they will get shot down if they asked. I am not sure i believe this.

[Veronika_p]

It's true

[exitseven]

@Veronika_p When i was in high school there was a girl in my homeroom who I thought was the hottest girl in the school. She was not a cheerleader of one of the other really popular girls. I really do not know who her friends were. I actually tried to talk to her a couple of times but she was not interested. I sort of assumed she was dating older guys.
A couple of years later I ran into a guy in my class who lived next door to her. I asked him about her and if he knew what she was doing. He told me that she really did not have a boyfriend and mostly just stayed home.

[Veronika_p]

As an introverted person myself, I totally understand her

[lilBigPotato]

Being pretty makes it easier to give dates , but you might also get reduced to that and attract more assholes so it has it's pros and cons I guess.

[Iron_Man]

if you’re a man, it doesn’t matter because women want everything anyway and you have to do everything for them on the women’s part. Yes, beauty helps

[Screenwriter]

Studies show that attractive people are given the benefit of the doubt that they're nice and honest, where less attractive fold aren't... It's a shame... but happens!!

[thund3rlight]

I always get the "you're so pretty" and "I doubt you dont have a boyfriend" or "you can't be single" and stuff like that but here I am, single for almost 2 years.

[Veronika_p]

😆🤣 exactly girl... They would never know

[aceleon]

i am the one who is usually mistaken for having some other girl.

[Anonymous]

Think the scale is somewhat circular where the worst and best looking struggle and where approximately mid range do quite well

I can say that as someone hideous who has dated a couple of stunning women in my time

[msc545]

Much easier. It doesn't matter what your opinion is.

[msc545]

An attractive person has to do is approach somebody else that they want to do something with, and they have absolutely no trouble making that happen. I realize that you're so entitled you don't think you should have to approach people, but maybe you do.

[strateguy632]

we magnets have easier time.

[fishbone77]

easier of course.

[robocop666]

I look good but I am awful at it.

[wkhan_87]

I think easier

[Paige2006]

Easier

[832dreamboy]

Easier.