Do you agree there is no obligation to help an elderly person if they are an asshole?

[Steven80000]

For example, I had a friend and his mom was a bitch to me. She was elderly but I didn't help her because she said the most stupid shit about me. I am not obligated to help someone just because they are old. I respect myself if someone treats me like shit.

[Laws-Of-Existence]

Not sure. But if they are assholes toward children then i would actively seek to provide them a shortcut to the grave. ㅤ

[ohsheeT]

No matter who you are in life there's always going to be somebody who treats you wrong treat you bad and they don't even know you it doesn't mean that you have to be like them

For me I understand this And for me It's kind of cool When you help somebody It doesn't like you And you can control yourself And let them verbally Try to destroy you Because you can control yourself and you know it's not going to work Let them have their way Let them say what they want Because after you help them They're going to think about it for the rest of their life Why they acted the way they acted to me it's not that big of a deal and especially if they don't know you it's not a big deal

[Steven80000]

I refused to help out my friends mom because she said the most horrible things to me behind my back. I have boundaries.

[ohsheeT]

We should all have them

[Steven80000]

I am surprised you said that because with your reply I thought you would have said that I should have helped her.

[ohsheeT]

No i can't tell you what to do we don't know everything going on and why you feel the way you do. You have your reasons so you have to do what you want to do none of our answers are right or wrong we can only give you another way to look at things your answer weather its right or wrong. It's the right answer for you that's all that counts

[slatyb]

I agree, you have no obligation to help someone who is abusive. However, some people become abusive as a result of progressive dementia, and you may choose to help them based on your history.

[Steven80000]

I am saying if they don't have dementia and are just like that and they are normal mentally

[slatyb]

It's not a personality change? Then I wouldn't. In any case you have no ethical obligation to your parents or older relatives.

[Steven80000]

No they have always have been an asshole. And they just got older. That is it. Many people follow the herd and think someone should be helped just because they are older even if they don't have dementia. They are a regular minded asshole old person.

[Staximus]

I’m going to help them regardless if it has to do with making sure they are safe or something like that. If it’s just a matter of courtesy or some menial task, I’ll tell them to piss off like anybody else if they’re rude.

[Steven80000]

My former friends mom was a bitch and mainly contacted me for favors, etc and she was in her early 60s and she couldn't walk to the grocery store to get groceries, because of her walking problems yet she talked the most utter shit about me, my former friend and was/is a horrible person.

[exitseven]

There is no obligation but I always cut old people some slack. It must really suck to be old and they probably ache all over.

[msc545]

You are not obligated to help anybody if you don't want to.

[Anonymous]

oh i dont even help my own mother

[LotharioENERZY]

like the honesty.

[Opinion Owner]

@LotharioENERZY of course, i also abandoned all my relatives. haven't seen them in 10 years. haven't spoken to my brother in 14 years. my mother is the next to be abandoned. trust me, life is better without family constantly in your face. always having to think about how they feel or react to things or having to impress them

[Steven80000]

Im assuming they are assholes huh?

[Opinion Owner]

@steven80000

both parents are abusive. the rest of my relatives never played a role in my life and all of them don't really reach out to me. for my brother, we always had a rivalry

[Steven80000]

Yeah I feel you. Nearly all my relatives are assholes. Also I didn't help my friend's mom because she was a complete bitch talking shit about me behind my back and she wanted me to help her with groceries after my friend moved or another state. I said no. And than I ended up ending the friendship eventually with the friend because he mostly only hit me up for favors, emergencies, or birthdays. He wouldn't stop with the same shit after I told him numerous times to stop. He pulled the same shit as his many of his family that he complained about , only or mostly hitting his mom and him for favors. After I cussed him out he played the victim, brought up how I told him to look at women's asses in 2016 when he was just in an online relationship. Despite his trauma with his family no excuse for him to be an asshole with me. He changed when he moved. I dealt with trauma but didn't end up using people, becoming asln asshole just because of that. What do you think?

[Steven80000]

What do you think of my former friend being that way and his mom?

[Opinion Owner]

I never go that far for friends. I probably would only do that for family that mean a lot to me- which are basically none. Friends come and go. I learned it the hard way after I had multiple friends stop talking to Me once they met someone better or moved away or got bored of me. I don't even bother taking friends out for food and paying for them anymore. Because they might disappear the next yr. I used to be the most generous person. Taking friends out for food, paying for them as a token of my love for them. These people are long gone from my life.

The only person who I would go this far for is someone who has helped me or my own child. No one else will be loyal to you in this world.

[Opinion Owner]

The only time where I would help a friend is if they need emergency help and they don't have any family around to help them. Things like escorting them from the hospital after they are drowsy from anesthesia or help care for them once every few days if they broke their leg and can't shower by themselves. But other than that, I really wouldn't go that far for a friend

Same for dating. Never give your partner any money. Cuz once they take your money, you really never know If they would ever pay you back. Never help your partner pay any of their loans or take out a loan for them. People's loyalty switch up quick

[Opinion Owner]

@steven80000

[Steven80000]

Sorry you experienced that. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't become an asshole though because of all the shit you have been through. Do you think my former friend's trauma led to his obsession with a romantic partner, and led him to become a user, etc when he wasn't a user before? He fell romantically in love with this woman seconds after talking to her online and than moved to be with her in another state.

[Opinion Owner]

Your friend Isn't a decent person. Usually these types of people are born with a bad heart or raised by bad parents. If someone's parent is a bad person, there is a 90% chance that the kid will be the same way when it grows up. Parents teach their kids.

Plus, bad people tend to marry other bad people. Good people don't tend to get along with bad people.

[Opinion Owner]

@steven80000

[Steven80000]

With him before he moved he did care about me. One time in Chili's he was drunk and saying how it sucks that I was talking about unaliving myself in High School. He was crying. It was years after High School he cried in Chilis BUT despite this he had an evil side when it comes to people that were acquaintances, strangers, etc. Like if we was playing a video game and all a sudden they were winning against him and he knew they were abused, he all of a sudden would bring that up to them because he was pissed he was losing. He wouldn't ever do that before with people he cared about. He all of sudden met his romantic partner online fell in love within seconds, moved to be with her but still cared about me a lot. When he moved to Florida he was still fine with me, but than months later he became a racist, selfish towards people dealing with hard circumstances because of their race, and he sucked at communication with me. Than my dumbass continued kissing his ass cause of our friendship and than years later I cussed him out for this and than he played the victim, brought up something from years earlier that I told him to look at a woman's ass while he was just in an online relationship. So months after he moved he even became heartless with many people that were good to him. I wouldn't be surprised if he became controlling of his romantic partner.

[Opinion Owner]

You're too obsessed with your friend. Forger about him. One thing you gotta learn in life: all friendships will come to an end at some point

[Opinion Owner]

Bad people can care about you. Until they get bored of you

[Steven80000]

I am not obsessed with him, it just that we are on the topic, just randomly thought about it. Just pondering about things. Most of the time I don't think of the negative shit from him. Just wanted your insight if you think he was always evil with acquaintances, etc but at the same time cared for me as a friend but became more evil after being around racists in Florida, and he started getting brainwashed by them, than started using me. Blunt take from you.

[Opinion Owner]

@steven80000

evil people CAN care. But how good someone is is really defined by their morals and how they treat people who can do nothing for them. Loving your own wife / children does not necessarily make you a good person.

[Steven80000]

Your right, it is like if someone abuses animals yet they are truly kind to someone and not fake, just because they truly care about some people, all it takes it is one extreme thing about them and it defines their whole personality. Or they can truly care about you and cry for you as a friend or whatever but get them mad enough, all of a sudden the evilness will just come out and they will stop caring. It is like most people are narcissists cause most people are like that. Lol.

[Opinion Owner]

@steven80000

most people are not narcissist. Most people are average- meaning they are not kind but not evil either.

You really dont need to go as far as to abuse an animal to know thye are a bad person.

I knew a guy who talked badly about girls who slept around, judged them for it. But he would bring random women home to have sex and leave condoms in his little daughter's desk drawer. This is a man who acted like a great person. But after this, I just knew he wasn't a decent person.

[lilBigPotato]

Agreed.

[Steven80000]

My former friends mom was a bitch and she mainly only contacted me for favors and she wanted me to get groceries for her, but I didn't because she is a complete bitch.

[moddy_the_mod]

We got a badass over here