Do you beleive that pursuing your goals and your own agenda and through that not allowing anything or anyone to stand in your way is being selfish?

[thegreenyogi]

If not why not?

Updates

1 d

The whole point of my questions is that they are rightly open to interpretation. I'm interested in reading how anyone thinks or how they interpret my questions without me putting any limit to that.

[Zack-Bann]

It’s not selfish but it’s a long and lonely road.
Eventually we all get burned out by it one way or the other.


I’ve been insisting that everything is fine for so long while overlooking the fact that I was spiraling little by little every day.


My reward for all my hard work?
Burnout and panic attacks…


And the funny part is: even admitting that there’s a problem isn’t helping.
Since I don’t know how to get help.
The people in my life are so used to me being made out of stone that they just pat me on the back and say “it’s ok it’ll pass”.


And maybe it will.
Or maybe I end up becoming a cautionary tale about the price of ambition that the younger generation will not listen to because they hyper focus on their own whims and desires.

[thegreenyogi]

Waiting to see if it will pass is not a great idea because chances are very high that it won't. Your goals are very high and you sound like the kind of person that will keep going at your current speed.

Panick attacks is not a great thing either. I'd ask you what is causing you panick attacks or what the fear behind it is but most probably you don't want to go that deep...

I can relate because I find it hard to ask for help and like you I'm considered so strong by family that when I try to express moments when I feel burnt out its not really taken any notice of. So I have had to find ways alone to cope and take care of myself.

Once you know the cause you can do something to help yourself and my hope is that you will do that sooner than later.

Nobody is made of stone and we are only human. Eventually everything catches up with us especially stress and peer pressure. I could go on and say so much more...

[Zack-Bann]

Thank you for that.
I don’t mind talking about it at all.

I’m just not someone who likes dumping his worries onto other people.
So when I’m struggling I shut myself off and push everyone away thinking I’m protecting them.

Because this stuff is very contagious.

[thegreenyogi]

I know. I'm pretty much the same. I keep everything in and if asked I minimise but if you want to or need to I'm here to listen if anything else. Talking about it can be insightful.

[Zack-Bann]

That’s so kind of you like always.
And honestly I’d talk with you just to catch up if nothing else. :)
But I’m gonna get some sleep now. Tomorrow is another long day and every hour helps.

[thegreenyogi]

Same here. But yes you must sleep. Sweet dreams!!🙃

[thegreenyogi]

There will be plenty of time to catch up I'm sure...

[Dr_Dixon_Cider]

Sort of reminds me of this Ayn Rand book I read about altruism. Maybe it is selfish in some aspects, but we should respect the virtue of selfishness. Pursuing your own happiness and interests isn't inherently immoral, and people shouldn't be expected to sacrifice their lives for others.

And the expected sacrifices are usually based out of its own selfish reasons that are not virtuous at fucking all.

And that reminds me of part of another book I read, Arnold Schwarzenegger's The Education of a Bodybuilder... where he was in the military and wouldn't let him do the bodybuilder thing, but he snuck out and won some bodybuilding thingie... because it made them look good, they punished him, but at the same time supported what he was doing because it made them look good. I think I remember him saying they fed him shitty meat but let him lift those weights. ... just examples of different types of selfishness all around that I figured I'd add.

Questioning who gets to define which selfishness is acceptable in the first place, might be a good start for this topic.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

About 10 years ago I made a very well thought out decision to stop allowing others to control me through responsibilities, marriage, etc. I didn't get a divorce or quit my job or anything, but I did establish boundaries over time and today I don't take shit from anyone. I have my own friends, my own hobbies, my own life and anyone who thinks they can control or seduce me into giving up even one inch is next up for the dumbass award of the year. I fucking love my life now. 10 years ago I hated everything about it. Stand up for yourselves people, it's worth it.

My wife has learned where the door is if she doesn't like the new me. She chose to stay.

[NathanDavis]

I think there are ways to do these kind of things in a more selfish way, but also in a less or a selfless way too...

it would be about the circumstances...

extreme approaches are usually not the best way to go with most things... as they could cause some damage on the way

everything else... might be a matter of perspective

[sage2021]

Not exactly selfish but I don't know what you aren't doing (at what cost) except accomplishing what you want.

It can be considered selfish if other people need you and you only think about your own needs and wants.

I've heard people say not to let anyone or anything stop you from accomplishing your dreams. But I have also known people who gave it their all, but they still didn't accomplish their goals and had to go to college in their 40's to be able to get a good paying job.

[Bricealan]

@thegreenyogi How or why is that selfish?

Only way I can see, is one partner neglecting his/her partner or children in pursuit of some goal outside the family that he/she helped create. To me, that is selfish on the face of it.

[Nik1hil]

Yes, a River is never Straight, It goes to it destination but it Bends for Hills and fields it accepts new Brooks and forms Basins..

If a River was Straight it would be very fast and cut through everything and Destroy life..

It's the soft kind Nature of River that it Bends and allows things to stand in it's way and makes its way around them, which makes it nurturing and full of life that, makes it Considered a Goddess!

[DonaldDarko]

Certainly could be. Any sociopath or narcissist would do it just that way.

[xawyx-3]

If your goals/agenda is not hurting anyone, then it's ok, not selfish in my opinion.

[Shiprex]

Not really. No one is responsible for anyone else until they are parents or employers.

[exitseven]

I think not. WE all have the right to the pursuit of happiness.

[Staximus]

It’s only selfish once you start treating other people badly or doing unscrupulous things to achieve your goals

[msc545]

I don't think it's particularly selfish. I think you have to take care of yourself first before you can do anything for others.

[Sal_Monella]

It is self centered, although not if you let others in.

[moddy_the_mod]

It depends on what you mean. These words are open to interpretation.

[_Jenny_]

@thegreenyogi yeah maybe, I need to know more?

[Paige2006]

Yes as long as it is done ethically

[Pterodon]

Not at all. It’s your life

[eagle1951]

no i don't