Why are females over-valued?

[Anonymous]

So... according to society, it seems that the guys job is:

- to initiate flirting

- to ask out

- be "up front" with intentions

- pay/invest first

- be "financially secure"

- great social skills

- smart

- be good at playing mind games

I never really hear a whole lot of standards that females must meet. Just don't be too ugly or too hard to get along with. and being too ugly is borderline impossible thanks to make-up. Considering that men have made nearly all the contributions to society, why exactly are they "expected" to "win" the girl over? it seems to be a western thing.

not to be rude, but after I come, a girl is the last thing I feel like dealing with, seeing as I am strong, taking a math-based major ($$$), and have TV dinners and canned soup.

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but I have never seen the value of a woman (sex) being equal to the "requirements" needed.

And please, answer with something intelligent. If you're going to say something like "well I like to play by the gender roles only when they benefit me" or " you just haven't met the right one", please press the back button on your browser at this time.

* I was going to make a question on why people desire to fit in, but

[Darkfairie17]

Well to be honest, it's not only women who set the standard, men do too. If some men don't want that then they need to be more picky. I don't play mind games, so I don't expect a man to do be able to play them. Mind games=ridiculous in my opinion.

I guess these are just the gender roles of the past that are kept in the back of people's minds too. I'm not saying it's right. But honestly, if you don't want a woman who expects everything from you and give you little in return, as it seems as though you feel that way, then don't date a woman like that. There are a lot of good quality women out there who are financially secure, don't play mind games and are actually great to be around.

But I am kind of confused here, you said "I have never seen the value of a woman (sex) being equal to the "requirements" needed." So you are just see women as sex? Maybe that is the problem. If you require more of a woman than sex, you usually get a more decent person. For instance, if you require that a woman be financially secure, and is intelligent, you will usually be able to find that. Sure it might take longer, but you get more of what you want.

That being said, I never expect a guy to pay for things. I think a lot of guys get sucked into paying for everything their girl wants. It's nice to treat a girl once in a while, but don't go over board and start taking on her bills, clothes, jewellery, etc... just to keep her around. Not saying you do that, but I have seen guys who get taken advantage of and then they blame all women for it. It's not all women, I think that they (the guy) just created that standard by starting that expectation, or the woman expected it and then the guy basically kept going with it, even if he was uncomfortable. Basically, don't put up with that crap, I know a lot of girls who treat their bf's like crap and have the bf's trying desperately to keep them happy. Why not just leave and find someone who actually appreciates them?

As for being up-front with expectations, I think both men and women need to do that. It's just common sense, why would someone date another person without knowing what they wanted. It just seems to set people up for disaster. I am very upfront about my expectations, if I expect to date a guy and have a relationship, I let him know. I've also initiated. My current boyfriend and I met online. I sent him a message and wasn't expecting a reply, and he replied and 11 months later, here we are still together.

I think this is all just a matter of deciding not to put up with the crap. If there is a woman you meet who expects you to pay for everything, then make it clear that is now how you want it to be. If she leaves, well you probably didn't want to be with her anyway. There are lots of women out there who are more interested in the person and not their money.

[Asker]

"If you require more of a woman than sex, you usually get a more decent person"

the thing is, it seems society has no real expectations for women. just... don't be too ugly, and don't be too hard to get along with. the ones that have more qualities tend to have very, very big egos.. and an over inflated sense of self-worth.

what I'm saying here is: being a well-rounded person is almost expected for a guy, where as a woman is placed on the highest pedestals should she be a half decent person.

[Darkfairie17]

Then don't place a woman on a pedestal then. I don't know what else to say, your problem is not with women then, it's with how you feel society views them. But to protect yourself, then you should only go for women who fit your specific standards, that's really all you can do.

[Asker]

if I placed them on the pedestal, I wouldn't be challenging their worth with this thread, now would i? reading comprehension ftw! because society seems to worship the vag, it seems like the number of quality males and females has an insanely large gap

[emmablunt1993]

I don't know what this fella is on about, but women are not over-valued!Society/Media view women as having to look pretty at all times, & as sexual objects for men.That is being undervalued & frankly, degraded.You are delusional mate, you do not have a clue, do you?

[Asker]

yes, I suppose when people are expected to "win" you over, you're completely degraded...

moron

[emmablunt1993]

Men are not expected to 'win' women over.Grow the hell up!How can you say that women only being good for their looks & sex is a good way to be seen?

[genevieve]

Well obviously that asking out and paying for diner thing is a tradtion from the (not so long ago) past. I bet this will significantly change over the next 20 or 30 years. But it's still in poeples head.

Being honest and upfront with intentions is just the right thing to do, fro both girls and guys. Most women are financially secure nowdays, have just as much social skills as men, sometimes even more and are just as smart too and now often are better educated than men.

that women like dating a man that wealhty, has also something to do with that we know will have children someday and probably will be out of our job for a couple of months. So we need someone who can take care of us during that time. Men don't have that problem

It's not a western thing either. In some countries there are arranged marriages but even there the husband typicall supposed to be og higher social standing, better educated, taller and wealthier than is wife. In past times it was quite common for women to upgrade by marrying and that's still common in some countries.

Everywhere, where arranged marriages are not common, it's usually men who pursure women, not the other way around.Look at china, japan, latin America ...

What I don't get is, if you just want sex why are you trying to pursue a relationship, that's not gonna make anyone happy

[Asker]

nowhere did I say I was trying to pursue a relationship. I was just wondering why more is expected out of men, while women sit back and do nothing but apply make up and are "supposed" to be chased. let's read and not ASSume

[Anonymous]

I suspect the unfairness you're talking about is because, despite all the progress we've made, as psychologists Peter Glick and Susan Fiske say, "Characterizing women as pure creatures who ought to be protected, supported, and adored. . .implies that they are weak and best suited for conventional gender roles." It's called benevolent sexism, setting women on a pedestal and keeping us there, claiming we need to be protected and provided for. Both men and women buy into it.

It's oppressive to us in that we're looked down upon and discouraged for being too assertive and stepping out of our box, and unfair to you guys because that means a lot of the work in starting a relationship is handed off to you. Our main "job" according to society is to sit there and look as pretty as possible. I know you brush off the whole looks thing, but I actually find it pretty insulting that a man's value as a partner is linked to his personality, intelligence, success, etc, while the sum total of a woman's worth boils down to the way she looks.

I hope it goes without saying that I support women taking a more active role in contributing to the early stages of dating, and that I lead by example. All of this needs to change, and I think it actually is, bit by bit.

[Asker]

one more arrow up for you. that's basically what my post was, but I didn't feel like typing a lot. I just can't figure out why that is. it seems like a raw deal for men. sometimes I think I'm the only person in the whole US who thinks this way.

[Opinion Owner]

No, I think of it too, I just didn't know what the cause was until a few days ago (psych class). Women have been thought of in this way for a long time. I agree with some of the things others are saying though, women are bringing a lot more to the table. However, it's not as valued or expected of us as it is of men.

[Anonymous]

That's just not true.

You're upset at the fact that it's the guys job to approach women, because you're too scared to do it yourself.

The rest of your so-called impediments aren't impediments at all. This is the 21st century. Plenty of women can pay their own way and be financially secure.

There are guys who are not smart, or have great social skills, who can still get a girlfriend.

Personally, I never play mind games. It's never been an impediment to me.

Your anti-women rant comes down to basically that one thing : you want women to ask you out, because you're too scared to ask them out. You can dress it up any way you like, but that's it in a nutshell.

[Asker]

maybe if you weren't such a p*ssy worshipper, grabbed your balls back, and opened your eyes, you would have read the anon user who talked about psycologist "peter glick" and "susan". I don't blame you though, you're just another p*ssy-whipped lapdog without a brain. keep doing as you're told. you're just a spinless shell of a man. besides approaching is not a problem, because I get approached.

i was wondering why more is required men, than is them. think dumbass, instead of being a white-knight

[Opinion Owner]

You're such a tool, it doesn't bear explaining any further. Suffice to say that right now, at 5 ups, this answer is the most accurate you're likely to get. The fact that you're unable to accept it, and think calling me a p**** worshipper is some sort of come back, says more about you than me.

[Asker]

the 5 arrows just says what society tends to believes. they thought bush would be a good president, and gave him to oppurtunities. did that mean he was a good president? again, you just proved yourself to be another lap dog who lives by the majority instead of actually giving concepts some thought.

it's easier to outright reject anything that challenges the majority. its easy to be a p*ss than a stand up guy. and of course girls are going to up arrow you - you support them not doing anything.

[Asker]

apparently reading comprehension isn't your strong suit.

[noobseaplenty]

Well it's all supply and demand. no one is forcing you to walk up to women or do anything that you mentioned. If you feel the effort to get a girl over rides the benefit, then don't do anything, it's very simple.

[Asker]

society still pressures us to do it. I don't want anyone's rules forced on me. just because you were raised to be a p****-beggar does not mean everyone should just bend over and accept the social rules forced on them.

[noobseaplenty]

like I said, you don't have to accept anything. You can just stay home all day and have food delivered to you even, then you will never have to see a woman

[Asker]

no shet, sherlock. how long did it take you to come up with that one. the thread was about why does society seem to worship something that has contributed just about nothing. not about me or food delivery...

and wtf are doing on a dating advice website at 47 years old? life didn't go the way you expected, huh?

[emmablunt1993]

What are you talking about?

Women are much, much more independent nowadays, I financially support myself, & pay for all my sh*t, & I'm only 18, I don't need any man to fall back on economically.

It's just tradition for males to take women out & initiate a relationship.Why is that such a problem?Anyway, it's not a neccessity like it used to be, is it?Women do ask guys out too nowadays.I think your generalizing.

Also, it is not borderline impossible to be 'ugly' if you are a woman, thanks to makeup, because underneath all that warpaint, the woman will still be ugly?Duh, you sound like a very, very shallow man.

And I feel sorry for any woman who has to participate in sexual intercourse with you, as you seem like a very unloving & shallow man, is sex the only thing women are good for?Because that is the way it sounds coming from you.You don't feel like dealing with a woman after you've cum?What, so when it's over you just get out of bed instantly, ignore the participant & watch a bit of telly?Oh, how romantic.

My boyfriend protects me, looks after me, but he does not support me financially, he takes me out, & I take him out, and after sex we cuddle up for an hour, like a loving couple should.He protects me & looks after me because he wants to, not because I'm needy, or because he thinks that's what men are meant to do.He does it because he is crazy about me, & he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, he cares about me so much, every time I cry for my dad (he passed away last week),he cries too, not because he misses my dad, but because he can't bear to see my cry, & he can feel my pain.

If a man really, really loves a woman, he will do anything for her, & not because society says that is what men are meant to do, because they genuinly want to see their partner happy.

[Asker]

"he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world"

somehow I doubt that

[emmablunt1993]

Oh shut up, jeez you really are a pathetic excuse for a male.You say that because you have no idea what it is like to be in love with someone.Not all guys are as shallow as you are you know.There are men who actually have feelings & do not think with their penis, like you seem to.Grow up, and do not judge me or my partner when all I have done is answer your petty little question.You don't know f*** all about me or my boyfriend so keep your narrow-minded opinions to yourself, f***ing twat.

[TheMistressMinxxe]

You know looking at your comments after people give you an honest answer just shows us that you're a troll or very unhappy with yourself. Either way, you're wrong, unfunny and will be a virgin forever because you're horrible to everyone. You attract sh*t women because you're piece-of-sh*t guy, you get what you deserve in this life so stop whining about it.

[Anonymous]

Women are known as providers . Their main role in this world is to bring up a new life which man cannot do .

Women are much more social and intelligent , if there won't be women - no guy would ever work hard .

So basically women makes a guy work hard .

In order to get a nice, beautiful woman , a guy works hard , tries to earn more etc because he knows else he won't get a girl .

They are meant to feed a baby .

They are meant to take care of the family . Guys are pathetic at planning household .

Women are more creative in arts .

Women are soft and emotional creatures ( most )

[TheMistressMinxxe]

Very sexy answer Anon!

[Asker]

Women are the providers? so they can bring life and man has no part of that? they are more intelligent? how did they allow patriarchy then? you only work hard because of women? this the problem... you guys are so p*ssy-whipped it's unbelievable. who the f*ck was dumbe enough to up arrow you?

[Opinion Owner]

@ QA : You are so dumb that you don't know the spelling of dumb . And I guess you don't have a mother , a sister etc which made you ask such a pathetic question .

If you cannot do what men are expected to do , sit at home and f*ck yourself or turn gay .

If you have a baby , have your sex changed and deveop breasts to feed the baby . Later , if the baby is a girl - teach her what her mestrual cycle is all about . You are a f*cking IDIOT and DUMB .

I guess you lost your brain .

[Anonymous]

Wow, talk about someone having a whine. I can see why you would take yourself out of the game, then again, you wouldn't be a lot of competition anyway

[Asker]

oooooooo, you're a clever one aren't you. I bet your scrawny weak pasty ass feels cool putting someone down over the internet. don't you have a vag on the pedestal you should tending to?

[Asker]

after re-reading this... you basically reinforced that you are infact "supposed" to compete for someone, just because of their gender. yet you don't see anything wrong with that? smh... another whipped vag worshipper who's on here because he couldn't get any to save his life lol

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to put something out there that no one else has... Women don't NEED sex the way men do. Men get a problem known as "blue balls" if they don't come. Women look to men for other things, companionship, self-esteem, protection, security, family, etc . But we don't desire sex in the same way, though sex is good!
For women it's much more psychological. Women search for the perfect "specimen" to procreate with, whereas men are biologically more wired to "spread their seed." This is just the roles that come as instinct for us, due to our sex rather than our gender.
By the way, a lot of men enjoy the chase I think, just as much as women might like to be desired, because it validates them just the same if they do "win" a girl over. And I never thought of clear intentions as something that was established for either gender.

[Anonymous]

maybe, you're hanging around with a lot of a**holes? with that attitude you'll be lucky to get any woman valuable ugly or otherwise!

[Asker]

HAHA, you so funny!

[Opinion Owner]

What's funny is that you're alone and can't figure out why, become an escort then you get all the sex you want and get paid too. Jerk