Girls: if you ask a guy you like to dance at a club and he's horrible at dancing do you get turned off?

[Anonymous]

I'm not good at club dancing, mainly because I don't go to clubs very often (I'm 30..not 35 btw). But I know girls ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO DANCE.

Last night I went out with 2 buddies to club. Truth is I really didn't want to go. I usually have bad experiences at clubs. I waste money, I drink more than I plan, I get frustrated with girls, etc. But I felt like I owed it to my friend cause I backed out twice earlier. My confident buddy (I'll call joe pesci) wingmanned helped me and my other friend (I'll call him "silent suave" because he's good looking but shy/quiet) approach two attractive Asian women. The very attractive one wearing white pretty much ignored/friended us, but the one in black was digging me and my friend (seemly him more). But she was grabbing me too. So my friends agreed that I would get the one in black, because the one in white seemed more interested in silent suave.

This all happened around 10PM when we first met them. The club was open for another 4 hours (I hate staying for long periods of time at clubs btw). I was drinking moderately because I had to drive, my buddies were getting trashed. The girls were wasted too.

Well I got plenty of time with the one in black. In fact at one point my buddy joe pesci kidded her saying "your breasts aren't real" and the girl in black grabbed my hand and put it on her breast! However I noticed the girl in black kept eying/hugging my other friend silent suave. I tried not to show it, but it was making me jealous.

So the girl in black asked me to dance. We went out on the floor and grinded. I tried to get up and down and loose. But after 20 min of dancing she seemed less interested in me. My goal was to avoid her. I didn't want to be clingy and the fact she was losing interested signaled I was going to ignore her for a while.

Well she kept going after silent suave after that. He didn't dance at all. He barely said anything. He's quiet. She even ask me to ask him to dance out on the floor. At this point I wanted to leave really bad. But I figured "I'll help a friend out if need be".

After ignoring her for a while there was about a half hour left. She was talking to her friends and out of nowhere the hot Asian girl in white started going after silent suave too. At this point joe pesci left the bar (he was going to leave us with the girls). The hot girl in white was all over silent suave. Calling him babe, caressing him, etc. The girl in black backed off on him and talked to her friends. I decided to buy her a shot with 20 min to closing time. She did it reluctantly, but afterward asked me to dance. We went out on the floor but she kept pulling out her cell phone. She then left everybody (including her girl friends) abrupty saying she had an emergency.

So long story short the girl in white went home with silent sauve. I went home alone and Joe pesci was MIA

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so to get the point. Should I have been like silent suave and NOT DANCED. When I danced badly the girl seemed to lose interest. Should I just hung back like him?

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Few other details. The girl in black was about a 7 out 10. If it wasn't sausage fest in the club she probably wouldn't get that much attention anyway. This is another reason I hate clubs. She also asked for my number and we exchanged numbers.

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Above all in this situation is that I"m frustrated I can't be like silent suave. I'm actually a good looking guy myself. I was the tallest guy of my friends. I got blondish/brown hair. I used to be an athlete (pro fighter) so I'm still in real good shape. But when I go to clubs and stay silent girls pretty much ignore me...except big heavy ones (or overly confident ones who like shy guys). I wasn't as well dressed as silent suave...so that might had something to do with it.

[learningthegame16]

Bad dancing certainly doesn't put me off (maybe because I'm a terrible dancer too). I think what you should do is 'own your choice' because that is attractive (it sounds like that's what Silent Sauve did)

What I mean by this is if you are going to dance you should make it fun, take the piss out of it and it will keep her attention. For example, pull a serious face while doing the robot then break into a dopey grin at her when you've finished. If you look like your enjoying yourself, that will increase her likelihood of doing the same.

If you want to stand out in a crowd, you have make them see you're different from all the other guys.

[adahstyles]

I'm a terrible dancer, and I would just be happy if someone was worse than me. I doubt she lost interest in you because of your dancing, I have met a lot of bad dancers and that has never left me embarassed or disinterested. I think it's more likely that she just wasn't interested in spending her whole evening dancing with the same guy, and therefore made up a quick excuse. In other words, she is a douche. Or she was just interested in silent suave all along. And when she found out it didn't work, she just wanted to make a quick retreat. In which case she is still a douche.

Still, I dout this has anything to do with your dancing.

[Asker]

yeah that girl was a douche and she was interested in silent suave all along. In fact, earlier in the night I told silent suave "hey if you want her, I'll back off" and he's like "no go for it". This is before the prettier one in white jumped on him. I'm not even that great of friend with the guy, but I do work with him and he's cool to me. So I'm admitting a little jealous, but happy for him. The thing is I really didn't go in to the club with expectations of getting laid.

[Asker]

In fact I didn't really want to go out at all. But it was the third time Joe pesci asked me to hang out, and I didn't want to back out again (he's also a manager at my company...not my boss...but he is a manager). But he wingman's girls to me...which is cool..but then I'm under pressure to move in on them from more than my own hormones...

[mooosh]

Most guys are terrible dancers but as long as you are having a go and You don't seem like you care then the girls is gonna love it

[Asker]

thats what I thought. But the guy who didn't dance at all got to dance in bed later. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to look like a dork I should just chill out on the side.

[Anonymous]

Were you too touchy feely?

If you were really bad, no offense, but honestly she may have felt embarassed and decided to leave :/

[Asker]

I was a little bit, but she was touchy feely with me to begin with. In fact at point Joe Pesci guy kidded to her "hey your breasts aren't real" and she grabbed my hand at put in her breast! I didn't touch her inappropriately any more than she initiated though. I know girls hate that. But maybe I should have done more. I did pick her up in the air a few times (I"m a real strong guy) just to kid around. She did say "hey don't embarrass me in front my friends" under her breath...

[Asker]

I joked "I thought I already embarrassed you plenty...you should be used to it!". But yes, I screwed up somewhere. But I don't know where. She wanted silent suave more than me though. That was clear. I didn't mind helping him out, but I hated being in that situation. I just wanted to bolt out of there. Although she said wanted my number.

[Asker]

lots of typos there...sorry.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly, don't take it so personally and think there's something wrong with you and that you need to criticize yourself to figure out what it is you should have done to make her stay.

I've sat back and observed the way females act in the club and most of them are not worth all of this distress you seem to be going through. Most of them are...

1. Extremely, ridiculously insecure and desperately searching for guys to make them feel good about themselves so they'll wear revealing clothes and act

[Opinion Owner]

slutty.

2. Gold digger type females who just want to try and get guys to buy them drinks all night

3. Girls who just want to hook up, they probably have an STD or a collection of STD's

Basically, my point is that it's difficult to find a prime female in the club and this girl doesn't sound anywhere near prime. So relax. I don't think it was much of a loss

[Asker]

Yeah that girl was one and 3...probably one the most. I know I'm overreacting. I didn't even initially care about getting laid that night anyway...but I had pressure from my friends (and that girl hitting on me got my hopes up). But I've gotten in promiscuous situations in the past...and the worries of stds/unwanted pregnancies far outweigh the fun I had that night. I got off scott free...but all it takes is one screw up.

[Opinion Owner]

sounds like this question is more about your self esteem being puncutred an not about the actual girl?

[Asker]

I guess so. Just got to let it roll of my shoulders (and stay out of clubs).

[Opinion Owner]

lmao you don't have to stay out of clubs. Club are fun! Just work on your charm :)

[upsyndrome]

Not at all. It really depends on the girl.